To honor our team of remarkable writers and thousands of loyal readers, Divorce Magazine has put together a list of our top 10 posts from 2020. This year has had its ups and downs. People going through divorce during 2020 – in the middle of a global pandemic – faced unique and unprecedented challenges that have never been seen by divorcing people before.
From tips on how to tell the kids about divorce, to signs that you’re married to a narcissist, to what to do when your spouse leaves you, these posts offer insight into a wide range of topics that occur before, during, and after divorce. We hope these posts can help teach you some things and provide some insight into the divorce process as we enter the New Year.
To gear you up for the New Year, we’ve rounded up our most read and shared posts from 2020. Be sure to comment on your favorite ones! It’s time to kiss 2020 goodbye (thank goodness)!
DivorceMag’s Top 10 Blog Posts of 2020
10. I Want My Family to Cut Ties with My Ex. Am I Being Unreasonable?
“I was married for 13 years before I finally cut ties with my ex and we got divorced. My ex-husband and I are great at co-parenting. We aren’t friends but can get along enough to try to do what’s best for our five kids. I have full custody and he has visitation. We both attend school conferences and events and make “big decisions” regarding the kids together.
“When I made the decision to divorce, I was prepared to “give up” a lot of things. I knew I would struggle financially and was prepared to give up my cell phone, cable TV, eating out, and even the possibility of having to move to a smaller house or apartment. I wasn’t prepared to give up my family, and that really took me by surprise.”
9. The 7 Stages of Emotional Affairs – and How to Save Your Marriage
“An emotional affair is an emotional connection between two people who agree to keep their relationship secret due to one or both of them being in a committed relationship or marriage with another person. Most emotional affairs are not physically sexual, but rather emotionally provocative and intimate, which actually makes them more challenging for couples to overcome and forgive.
“The rate of divorce due to emotional affairs is significant and rising – in part due to accessibility, which includes advances in wireless technology and the popularity of social networking websites designed to encourage connections between people.”
8. 16 Signs You’re Married to a Narcissist
“As a psychologist and marriage & family therapist, I have worked with many people diagnosed and undiagnosed that exhibited significant narcissistic characteristics. Narcissism falls under the category of personality disorder. The clinical name for those with pronounced symptoms of grandiosity is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and other areas of their life. Finding out whether or not you’re married to a narcissist can help you recognize what you may or may not need from your partner.
“People with NPD can present as arrogant, conceited, self-entitled, grandiose, boastful, etc. Those with narcissistic characteristics enjoy and indulge in being the center of attention, often dominating conversations, or steering the conversations back onto the topics perceived to be “more important” to the narcissist. Narcissists thrive in environments and relationships that appear to focus predominantly on them, fulfilling only their needs and interests.”
7. What You Should Do If Your Spouse Refuses to Sign Divorce Papers
“Divorce is never an easy process. However, it can go relatively smoothly so long as your spouse cooperates.
When you and your spouse agree on the divorce and can come to an agreement quickly on the various issues, such as the division of property, spousal support, and child custody, then you may manage to have as easy a divorce as is possible.
You both sign the papers, have your agreement finalized by the court, and move on. But what if your spouse refuses to sign divorce papers?”
6. 8 Things to Do Immediately When Your Husband Leaves You
“If you’re headed towards divorce, please keep this in mind: Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. I wish you the best.
“I check my articles analytics often and am blown away by how many women end up here by typing in, “What to do when your husband leaves you”. Literally hundreds a day. They end up here because of the first article I wrote for DivorcedMoms about ‘What To Do When Your Husband Leaves You.’
“I wrote that one kind of tongue in cheek, it contains some very real advice but as I read over it now, I realize when you are in that zombie-like state right after you’re abandoned, you may not want to read about how much fun it is to have sex as a single woman or how the Divorce Diet is real.
You want advice, serious advice, advice you can hold onto and if you want, wear it like a Superman cape to give you strength. You want to know that you’re not the only one who has felt this way, not the only one with so many different feelings and thoughts ricocheting through your brain that you’re half-convinced one will shoot out of your skull and accidentally boink someone else.”
5. False Allegations in Custody Cases: Questions, Observations & Comments
“Have you ever been sexually abused, been part of a truly violent household, been part of a family affected by drug abuse, or had a parent imprisoned for a crime? If you have, then you know the impact it has on all members of a family, especially the children. When dealing with a parent who has a drug and alcohol problem, a violent history, or a criminal history, you come to understand the toll it takes on the children involved, and the need for possibly supervised or terminated parenting time.
“But what if you are involved in a divorce or a child custody case and you are suddenly on the “wrong side” of false allegations concerning sexual abuse, violence, drug abuse, or crime?”
4. 6 Reasons Divorce is Harder on Men than Women
“It’s a common belief that women are typically more emotional than men. However, many studies have been done on the subject of who the divorce is harder on, each to discover that divorce is harder on men.
“In fact a husband may have much more to lose in terms of both health and happiness in a divorce than his wife; let’s look at some of the reasons why this might be.
“Here’s why divorce is harder on men than women.”
3. 15 Tips for Dealing with a Toxic Ex-Spouse When Children Are Involved
“I have written in the past about the fact that there is more than one aspect to a divorce. First is the legal divorce, where the judge ends the marriage, and a document known as a Judgment of Divorce or similar paper is entered with the court legally ending your marriage. Just as important, and in some divorces of overriding importance, is the psychological divorce. The psychological divorce is the ability of one or both spouses to move on to the next chapter of their lives.
“In particularly nasty divorces, one or the other is unable to move on due to anger, bitterness, and emotional or psychological problems, just to give some examples. The more toxic an ex-spouse is, the more problems there will be moving forward, especially if there are minor children.”
2. The Breaking Point: Why Do Women Initiate Divorce More Than Men?
“In my experience as a Women’s Empowerment Coach, I help women navigate the emotional turmoil of divorce. This would make me a pretty “pro-divorce person.” I divorced once. Usually, when a woman comes to me, they have already decided to divorce. But there are times that I wonder if that divorce was necessary, or was it just easier?
“Last week, during my field research, I met a woman… (OK it was my makeup lady at Ulta). She immediately described her marital woes to me upon my telling her of my vocation. When she told her husband she wanted a divorce, he suddenly started to do all the things she wanted him to do all along. But in her words, “It was too little too late.” I then posed a question to her to try to get her to think harder about it: “What would happen if, instead of it being too late, you went all in? A last-ditch effort maybe, but without any strings, expectations — just pure love for your husband and your child.” There were no words… she was quiet and even seemed a little annoyed.”
1. 5 Rules for Introducing a New Partner to Your Kids After Divorce
“One of the most common questions divorced parents ask me is: When should I be introducing a new partner to my children? My best answer is to take your time dating after divorce and don’t introduce your new love to your kids if you are dating casually.
“While it’s normal to seek solace, companionship, and a sexual relationship after a breakup, it’s crucial to take it slow so you can assess whether this relationship is casual or might be permanent.”