The following contains thoughts from paralegal Melissa Ashby, and from attorney William Geary, based upon observations made from a number of highly contested custody cases.
Have you ever been sexually abused, been part of a truly violent household, been part of a family affected by drug abuse, or had a parent imprisoned for a crime? If you have, then you know the impact it has on all members of a family, especially the children. When dealing with a parent who has a drug and alcohol problem, a violent history, or a criminal history, you come to understand the toll it takes on the children involved, and the need for possibly supervised or terminated parenting time.
But what if you are involved in a divorce or a child custody case and you are suddenly on the “wrong side” of false allegations concerning sexual abuse, violence, drug abuse, or crime?
Making False Allegations in Custody Cases
All too often in our practice, we have seen divorce and custody cases where a parent decides that, in order to level the playing field or substantially lean it their way for full custody, the best course of action is to make false and severe allegations against the other parent. These allegations range from allegations of sexual offenses to allegations of physical and emotional abuse, allegations of serious criminal offenses, allegations of drug abuse, allegations of domestic violence and allegations of negligence.
The process of uncovering the falsity of allegations such as these or disproving of such allegations, involves lengthy and expensive investigation and litigation, often times requiring or mandating the employment of expensive experts, attempts to get records from police departments, attempts to get records from physicians, attempts to have witnesses come forward and dealings with child protective services and other county agencies. Involvement of all or some of these experts and agencies sometimes creates even bigger issues and often times further variables with which to deal— all in a case where the allegations are false.
Sometimes parents make an allegation and if it is found unsubstantiated they scramble to come up with other allegations, one after the other, thinking that at least one “might stick”– all causing years of harassment and litigation, not to mention potential job loss, criminal charges, and, most importantly, severe mental trauma for the parties’ children. Many times, the parent against whom these allegations are made cannot afford the legal and expert fees or multiple attorneys it takes to prove his or her innocence. While all of this is going on the parent may not even have the ability to even talk to the children. What is alarming to us is the level to which some people will go to ensure that the other parent will have absolutely no relationship with their children.
How False Allegations in Custody Cases Impact Children
Children are gifts, not possessions. This is a simple truth which many bitter or selfish parents do not consider during divorce or custody disputes. It stands to reason that when parents’ relationship ends it is due to some kind of difference of opinion, be it a large difference or one which is minuscule. These differences can make parenting together difficult but parents often lose sight of the need for the children to be with their parents – both of the parents—even if the parents do not get along. Parents may subconsciously start viewing children as pieces of property which the other parent cannot have or share.
I believe that parents know that courts generally favor shared parenting and that, without some proven heinous act, the courts will probably grant shared parenting since it makes sense that a child should have the involvement of both parents in his or her life, if possible. Fortunately, where the allegations are serious, our experience is that, when the client can hang in long enough, false allegations are finally proven to be false.
But what about the children?
Even when an allegation is eventually proven false, often times years or months of litigation have occurred. Usually the children have been told one or both versions of “what is going on,” or even sometimes coerced to be involved in the making of false allegations. The emotional abuse to a child involved in this type of litigation based upon false statements often times irreparably changes the course of a child’s life.
Think about a child who has been needlessly examined by children’s hospital rape or molestation examiners, a child who is told to lie and defend one parent over the other, a child who is being stigmatized by visits at school by a guardian ad litem, a child whose love is being purchased, a child who is asked to lie to police, and a child who witnesses a parent being arrested.
Think about an impressionable child who is falsely made to see a parent being portrayed as a monster. to the point where the child believes it, or at least to the point where it is “not okay” to love that parent any longer.
Who would do this to their own child, or to any child? Who wakes up and decides that the parent that was perfectly acceptable yesterday, is a monster today, and that, to gain some advantage or satisfy some selfish desire, it is okay to go on a mission to destroy the other parent, alienating them by saying that parent is suddenly a child molesting, drug addict, who beats their child?
What about the parent who engages in these tactics, and what about the child? Is this not abuse of its own kind—perhaps of the worst kind? What kind of parent finds these tactics reasonable? How many parents are losing custody of their children, losing decision-making abilities, losing the right to access records based on fabrications?
Even if the attempted fabrication is revealed, how many parents will gain full or joint custody but have a potentially unsalvageable relationship with a child who is emotionally broken or so damaged that he or she doesn’t want to be with that parent anyway?
Bill/Melissa:
Than you for a very informative and thought provoking article. Our legal system may be the best in the world but it is certainly not perfect. What you have to say is also applicable to other areas of our judicial system, not just Domestic Relations.
I don’t believe that our legal
System is the best legal system in the world. Its has shown to be just as unfair as others. It’s a Shame to see so much injustice, and kickback in this our court system.
So it certainly is NOT “the best legal system in the world”, right ?
What should I do??
I am going through this now in family court. My ex new live in girlfriend lied to the gaurdian ad litam and told her it was my fault she got a dui. She stated to her I was pho e harassing her all day that made her drink. She blew a .16 which is beyond the legal limit.i never spoke to this phyco I have pho e records to prove it. The gaurdian ad litam could care less so now my child has to be around this lady.
Who was the guardian? Do you have a name? I am dealing with a similar case.
I am going threw this right now, it’s a long story but I met my kids dad when I was 14 he was 20 got pregnant at 15 moved away from home before I was just starting to show and moved to his parents they hid me the whole time i was pregnant from my family. My family didn’t know I had a baby till after I gave birth and they brainwashed me Into giving her up for adoption, I had to wake up at 6 every morning. To try to research how to get imanciñated so I could give my baby away they made me look for adoptive parents I never wanted to give my baby away a in which they brainwashed me into doing so I got her back his parents told me to pick my stuff I wasn’t welcome there and these are the people that called on me and made up lies horrible lies and I haven’t seen my kid in 4 years it’s going on I don’t have her number they legally have my kid held hostage all on revenge for the affair her visa and had with me that coaxed me In to.
I am so sorry for your loss and pain of you baby, Reading your comment made my heart sink. I hurt for whomever you are. I am sorry.
how did u get your child back after she was adopted?
I’m sorry, but our legal system, at least in the area of family law, is a *nightmare*.
agree… We need to understand this corrupted system. Gather together in every local county to VOTE these Judges out of office and Help fit this Broken System where EGO’S AND IGNORANCE RUNS COURTS, by individuals who were either appointed a seat. after a retired judge left the bench or was put there due to lack of knowledge of those voters who Voted them in… It’s time to change a system that doesn’t work… Stand for something or don’t stand for anything.. Family are being torn apart every single day and we have to Stop this from ruining the lives of many well-deserving children. Let the courts no we will No longer be willing to just STAND FOR THE UNFAIRNESS OF CPS, or Judges, FALSE ALLEGATION W/O PROOF, CHANGE HOW HOLDING ARE RENDER BY JUDGES IN DEFAULT CASE, HELP CHANGE LEGISLATION IN THE COURT SYSTEM ON HOW JUDGES ARE REVIEWING EACH CASE BEFORE THEY MAKE A HOLDING ON THAT CASES W/O EVIDENCE, being presented first… STOP DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER BY PARTIES, Help us Trust regain faith in a broken Judistrict system. Stand together and Vote against unfair court system..Unfair CHILD PROTECTIVE SYSTEM… Vote for a change in your Next ELECTION..
It just happened to me. My daughter got caught with bad things in her cellphone by me. I am a mandated reporter because I did the right thing my daughter hates me and is punishing me for it. She lied to mediator and to her therapist. Her father also condoned lying and it’s sad. I’ve never been convicted of a crime or anything. I’m a single mom with 5 children and have always supported and taken good care of my children. They gave my Ex husband almost all custody he doesn’t work he lives with his mom and dad. He’s never supported our daughter and is a recovering alcoholic with 2 DUIs a hit and run and he used to beat me. With no proof or evidence of me being a bad the courts believed my daughters lies. The Court System has failed my daughter and it tore apart my family. I’m tired after 2 attorneys and $10,000. This therapist Claudia Gonzales gets on stand and says let her live with her dad she hates her mom….. With no proof or evidence judge considered her horrible statement she’s didn’t even do a 730 evaluation and doesn’t know me at all. I’m filing complaints on everyone including mediator that believes all my daughters lies. It’s a nightmare to fight in court and Judges don’t care to look at facts let’s go based on hear say and my 11 year old at times feelings. It’s been over a year now Custody battle
Hi Veronica. I am sorry you are going through this. I just found this site. I am going through similar situation. I found a support group and it has been helpful.
It has been 6 months since you posted. If you reply, I will respond and happy to just share and support.
Good luck
This sounds rather familiar in a sense… HOwever my Son is a victim of his Grandmother who Not only CONTROLS him but mainly his Father who is a VERY BIZARRE case of “Mommas BOY” at 45yrs old… TO begin we were NEver married, he got me pregnant ON purpse he trapped me in Such a way that I got pregnant and from there Forward his mother did EVERYTHING she could to The Father and MY relationship…. Even Many Many Many times FAKING to have a HEart Attack so he would RUN to her and leave me home… Fast forward our son is born… 10 days later I find a letter she had sent to her sister saying she MUST GET GER SON AND MY BABY AWAY FROM ME!!! Dad and I Continued to see each other for years and he continued his Sexual and emitional abuse against me in return for his Love towards me OR so I believed… he was MY first love at 17 reunited at 33…. I LOVED HIM so much I did whatever he asked of me… Incuding having a baby that I was NOT ready for and FORCED to become pregnant with as they KNEW I am FULLY AGAINST ABORTION…. I FIRMLY believe it was grandmas Plan all along as she has always seen her son as her Husband and THIS IS HE WORDS OF THER THERAPIST to me… AS I Began Therapy due to the Pain…. I had NEVER been in Therpay PRIOR to this sitation…. Fast forward brings a bag of clothes and toys to my house 4 days BEFORE Christmas and stays for nearly an HOur before putting a LArger envelope on my counter next to where I was Washing dishes and tells me that is is from “C***” but SHe doesnlt know what it is… I firmly believed it was something for CHristmas as I said we were still VERY MUCH AN ITEM and he styed with me MANY nights per week… ITs important to Note that when Our son was Born I was literally FORCED to go back to her home straight from the HOspital although we had originally made Other PLANS… HOwever when we left the Hospital I was informed we would be at her HOuse INSTEAD….So she could “”HELP”” me/us…. ((( Side Note, I have 4 other kids who were at OUR home at the time and THEIR FATHER Stayed at our house to watch them for me while I had my baby, AS I have NO OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS to help me at all…. in fact it wold be 2 weeks before I would be ALLOWED to let my son meet his new older siblings… I was VERY MUCH CONTROLLED LIKE A PUPPET AND IF I DEFIED THE WOULD KEEP MY NEW BABY AWAY FROM ME and ccall the pOlice to keep me away and NOT ansewr the phone if I called….. THis went on antime dad and I didnt get along…. When we all togehter as a family MANY NIGHTS per week she woul djust SHOW UP at m home and BEG to take our son with her as she always told her son she was Lonely…. he evenGave her my GARAGE CODE WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE and she would appaer at her convenience…. I never understood AT THE TIME WHY HE WOULD ALWAYS LET HER TAKE OUR BABY WITH HER WHEN I had 4 other kids at home anyhow already?? WE were being a FAMILY I always thought A THE TIME it was becsuse he worked and I had a child with sppecial needs so he MADE ME BELIEVE it was for the best… That it was too much work with a new baby 24/7… BUT my SON WAS A VERY GOOD BABY>>>> They always FORCED ME TO SECOND GUESS EVERYTHING I Knew was questioble or didnt feel right in my SOUL…. BUT IF I DIDNT COMPLY GRANDMA WOULD CONVINCE DAD THAT I DIDN LOVE HIM AND I WAS BEING A BAD MOTHER AND GIRLFRIEND for NOT listening to him and her….same if I didnt comply with ALL HIS SEXUAL DEMANDS OF ME>>> NOMATTER HOW VILE OR SELF DESTRUCTIVE AND IMMORAL…. he always WATCHED PORN AND HAD A SEXUAL ADDICTION ADDIMITEDLY… He has been to THERAPY FOR YEARS DUE TO THIS… BUT GRandma told me HE NEEDED TO DO THE THINGS HE DID TO ME AND THAT HE JUST COULDNT HELP IT… and IF I LOVED HIM I WOULD Just try to UNDERSTAND… she too said she had been a sexual addict and that he had been molested by is father and a babseball coach though she never turned them in while he was a child, in fact she said ALL ADULTS ARE CAPABLE…. It just depends on Whether you decide toACT on this desire or not?? I had NEVER HEARD ANYTHING SO SICKENING IN M ENITRE LIFE… ad from that moment I feared for my baby…. I even put calls to enquire with questions Multipe times as an unknown caller at CPS… But they only wanted reports if I knew foul play was CERTAIN…. so that never led to fruition because I was not there to know when she owuld have my son alone…. Ive ALWWAYS BEEN A CONSTANT IN MY SONS LIFE WE LIVE 4 MILES from each other and back then only 1 mile apart from Grandmas house…. since then at 2.5yrs old while Dad and I are still very much a thing he and she filed for FULL CUSTODY BEHIND MY BACK…. I only recieved the FIRST envelope that I Mentioned in the VERY beginning of This story… Yet SOMEHOW I recieved a LETTER while AWAIING A MAY COURT DATE FOR OUR FIRST APPEARANCE… I got a Letter stating DAD HAD BEEN AWARDED FULL CUSTODY AND FULL PHYSICAL CUSTODY while I was subjected to only SUPERVISED RIGHTS TO VISITION AS TO WHAT “WE HAD AGREED UPON”??????? HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN IF I WAS NEVER EVEN PRESENT TO BEGIN WITH AT A COURT DATE THAT I WAS NEVER MADE AWARE OF???? ON A REQUEST THAT WAS FULLY WRITTEN UP WITH ALLL LIES AND YES I HAVE MANY CREDIBLE WITNESSES TO EVERY OUNCE OF PERJURY WRITTEN ON THEIR REQUEST FOR CUSTODY PAPERWORK…. Since the “Apparent court date and this Cusody granted” IVENEVER ONCE BEEN SUPERVISED WITH MY SON>>> HE has NEVER ONCE had his OWN BEDOR BEDROOM and he will be 9 in MARCH…. HE wasnt even POTTY TRAINED until nearly 6yrs old… He used to CRY AND BEG TO BE WITH ME HE STILL DOES But when younger he would BEAT THIER DOG out of frustration…. and just have TERRIBLE MELTDOWNS AND TANTRUMS because he DIDNT want to LEave his siblings and myself to “Go HOME” to their house at the end of the night…. STILL TO THIS DAY I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AN ACTIVE MOTHER>>> but still they REFUSE to allow him to stay with us…. IT BREAKS OUR HEARTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN everytime he walks out the door….. I forgot to say, HEs been FORCED to be TERRIFIED OF SCHOOL so that GRANDMA can ” HOMESCHOOL” BUT Im not allowed NOR do they tell me what is going on NOR allow me to participate…. his siblings attendthe Local schools that HE WOULD HAVE ALSO attended IF they hadnt TERRIFIED him…. THEY ISOLATE HIM he used to PHYSICALLY SHAKE at 2-3-4 yrs old whenevr simply meeting anyone knew outsode of his BUBBLE whic was only them, THEIR EXTENDED FAMILY>> HE IS TERRIFIED BY HER CONSTANT REMINDER THAT HE BETTER COMPLY OR SHE WILL TAKE HIM AND HE MAY GET LOST OR KIDNAPPED… HE has ALWAYS BEEN TERRIFIED if we even walk out of a ROOM!!! She made him think I ABANDONED HIM!!! so now she uses that PSYCHOLOGICAL TERROR AGAINST HIM!! HE has always had NIGHT TERRORS since he was about 9 months old or so… Long after her REIGN OF TERROR on our lives began….. While MY HEART ACHES allday EVERYDAY…. I simply CANNOT BEGIN TO IMAGINE THE FEAR, THE CONFUSION, THE HURT, THE PHYSICAL PAIN he feels due to all of this DRAMA by a grandmother and father who are SUPPOSED TO LOVE AND PROTECT HIS BEING… I HONESTLY DONT believe he Truly understands any of this as I NEVER EVER bad mouth them to him although I know they do and ESPECIALLY HERSELF…. when I picked him up one day with a witness in my car, at 6yrs old he walks out and says “NANNY SAID QUEEN B**** ” is here to get me… Talk about HURTFUL…. This isnt even MOST of MY CONSTANT SITUATION… just a small Fraction of the Hell we live though daily… Imagine being FORCED to spend the NIGHT at your EXes and his Mothers house?? I DO THIS OCCASIONALLY SO WE CAN SPEND THE NIGHT AND PRETEND TO BE SOMEWHAT NORMAL FOR HIM… I DO THIS BECAUSE HE BEGS TO STAY WITH US BUT THEY REFUSE>>> SO I GO TO HIM… I would DO ANYTHING or my son to know that he IS MY WORLD AND I WOULD NEVER LEAVE HIS LIFE OR HIS SIDE DESPITE WHAT THEY TRY TO FORCE UPON HIS PSYCHE!!! I WILL NEVER EVER LEAVE MY SON HE NEEDS ME JUST AS MUCH AS AND HIS SIBLINGS NEED HIM!!! The only Reason I am NOT the CUSTODIAL PARENT, is because I simply cannot afford and Attorney…. SHE PAID FOR HIS… HE NEVER EVEN KNEW WHAT THE ORDER SAID>>>> HE admitted that to me… that she wrote it all and he just signed it… SICK SELFISH WORLD we live in…. OH and did I Mention SHe FULLY HIDES behind the Guise of the BIBLE??? I am an absolute Christian, But Never would I be a Christian to Gain Control over a Childs life just because I messed up SOO BADLY AS A MOTHER AND FEEL I AM ENTITLED TO A DO-OVER By way of one of MY Grandchildren…. This is PARENTAL ALIENATION IN ITS WORST FORM I COULD EVER IMAGINE…. and every other kind of CHILD ABUSE on the BOOKS!!! I PRAY that one day I am NOT fearful to walk into court and ask for a change in Custody WITHOUT an ATTORNEY…. I ONLY have NOT already Tried this because I KNOW as FACT that as soon as I begin this Journey she will KEEP MY SON AWAY FROM ME FOR AS LONG AS SHE POSSIBLY CAN, and I Cannot bear the THOUGHT Of hurting him in such a way this hurts me so badly because I know while in he LONG RUN this is FOR THE ABSOLUTE BEST FOR ALL PARTIES involved, Im so afraid she also will Disappear out of State or Country with him as she CONSTANTLY talks about moving away from here now with him and his father to be near her other family… I couldn’t imagine losing my son, My children losing their brother, my son losing his “ME” his mother, My son losing his siblings all for just TRYING to be a mother and do what is Right, Which is all Ive EVER ASKED FOR…. SHARED CUSTODY BETWEEN DAD AND I…. HE Never ever even talks to me about him … NEVER I have ALWAYS had to go through his mother to discuss anything of IMPORTANCE about his life…. he simply refuses….This WEIGHT is more than anyone should ever have to bare…. Well Ive spoken here enough… All I ask if for Prayers Please…. as I too will be Praying for everyone who is in a situation so horrific as not being able to be the Parent we all should be able to be!! God Bless!
Veronica, I’m going to guess that if something was on your daughter’s phone, isn’t that the proof that they need? Or am I misreading your comments?
I had evidence on my ex-husband’s cell phone where he was raping me while I was unconscious. I had two brain surgeries to repair 3 of 5 aneurysms and after the second surgery, he filed for divorce. He had already assaulted me 4 months prior and was scheduled for court. His first wife lied to me and said that I would lose military insurance (knowing I required a second brain surgery to prevent another ruptured aneurysm). So I begged with the State Prosecutor to drop the charges. But after he filed for divorce, he ended up in the psych ward on a 72 hour hold. I had his cell phone and saw photos he had taken while sexually assaulting me. I contacted the police and they failed to file charges against him because I waited to contact them (because I cared about his daughters and was concerned about how this would effect them). He had broken into my vehicle and stolen the phone. The police could have very easily gotten a warrant for his cloud drive. But they didn’t. They could have gotten a warrant for his computer that I purchased for him (the pictures would have also been located on that drive). So there is a rapist running around JAX Florida because the Duval Country Sheriff didn’t do his job. In fact, he called my house after I moved home to Ohio and dared me to take city hall to court. I just wanted the bastard in prison. But I also wanted to be able to get alimony because I am disabled and was disabled before we married. But as it is, I wasn’t able to bring it up in court because no charges were brought up.
So yes, our system is messed up. And most of the time it’s in favor of the men. They get away with far too much. But it’s people like Christine Blassey Ford that make real rape victims look like fools. So now I have to try to forge a living out of what little I have coming in, while my ex-husband stole all of the money I received from my SSDI backpay.
Most judges ive seen 1 in person have lawyers typing these paper works and he just signs . Its messed up to make a Man in a robe honorable of making yay and nah decisions while layers Fine print addens screw us… He dont make sure proper investigation is done or untampered with! He may sleep better knowing underoth to whatever bible he holds to these ppl that swore to tell the truth to is his saving grace cuz contradicting laws aint honorable by God.. thats Lucifer in a black robe yall and his gavel is his pitch… Thats y we got Good and bad in this World and love wins everytime!
The accuser should have to prove with physical evidence that what they SAY is true or be put in jail if they accuse without that evidence. THAT IS WHY THE SYSTEM is F* up!! It would save the courts and everyone involved a s* ton of money except for the high rolling lawyers and such!
The problem w some types of abuse, is there is no physical evidence.
It is impossible to prove and tents on abuse and family court if they will even allow you to speak… That’s why in Connecticut we are trying to pass Jennifer’s law as speed 106C and it is focusing on coercive control.
So what you’re talking about saying some cases don’t have physical evidence you are correct because a lot of the mystic violence can’t exist without coercive control and some abusers do not go the physical route they just use coersion so I think that you should start talking to your representatives and senators about trying to adopt the Jennifer SB1060 law that we are trying to pass in Connecticut which amends the family Laws and adds coercive control to the number one requirement on the list that judges go through when deciding custody and visitation on the best interests of the child.
You can watch our video from yesterday’s testimony of all of us women from Connecticut and support of this law here:
http://Www.ct-n.com/ondemand.asp?ID=18437
Parent alienation is a real thing and I have been living it for the past 4 years so their father can have 2/3 of my paycheck. The criminal allegations were made two weeks before we were going to court to put everything back to joint. To say the least the trial was postponed and the allegations were unfounded. I never even spoke to the police. I have not seen my children in 1 and a half years. Barely speak on the phone because he listens. Yet him and I seem to be in court every other month because he wants more money. And somehow I end up with the judgement to pay his attorney fees when I can hardly pay mine. He claims he make zero money, lives with his mom, doesn’t file taxes but he has enough for a lawyer. I just miss my daughter and son, everyone needs their mom.
How do you manage to stay sane in what all has happened? And if the allegations were unfounded how come you don’t get back your rights as a parents and get your part of custody back? Sorry if I’m asking something too personal, I’m going through something similar right now in court. Bad thing is, it’s not the father of my child, but MY father and his wife. Well it’s his wife who’s taking the action, my father just stands back and let’s her do whatever. They accused me before and the allegations were proven false so I don’t understand how they can just do this again. Nothing has been done this time about it though, from what I’m told DCS isn’t having anything to do with it since there isn’t anything to actually prove it. But still I hate that they are doing this, they are manipulating my child and making her think she has to fear me! It’s not fair!
I pray for you my heart is sadness hearing these type of stories but so many time It seem to be happen over and over again, my fiancée lost primary custody and have to share joint conservatership with her ex who court appointed amicus BOBBIE YOUNG
Amicus Attorney
State Bar No.: [email protected] court 245 Judge Roy Moore suggest that the child stay with a father who is a 8 time convicted drug dealer 3 Felonies and 6 misdemeanors all possession controlled substances. Have you ever hear of such nonsense in your life., and he still sell driugs, the amicus was upset that mom wouldn’t hadn’t paid her courts fees, this man has had people come
to his house to kill him with his family there and it was presented in court but no one came to care, focusing on a petty theft charge that mom had completed. The amicus gave dad permission to sign off on a surgery Leaving mom blindside were she wasn’t even able to be there for he daughter for surgery and after… All I’m saying is we’ve been through it as well. These judges and court appointed individuals or not people with doing the right thing the systems is Damaged is such a way I pray that getting the word out about the judges and the court
Appointed (friends) I mean amicus they appointed are not doing in justice in our courts system their breaking the family down worst than they were when the went in with for some kind of fairness, resolution the court are destroying our children…God help our broken court system.
I Pray that thing get better for you, and he healing being with the children…
Parent Alienation is NOT A LEGAL SUPPORTED ARGUMENT. Please do some research and educate yourself you are not dealing with karan alia nation you are dealing with coercive control.
Look up Evan Stark his book on coercive control is life saving.
I live in the state of maine. I am a pro se plantiff and recently lost my child custody case. I have to file my notice of appeal tomorrow. There are a few facts that I’m trying to find out if in fact these are reasons to be granted an appeal. My 8 yr old son is now living with his drug addicted dad and his dad girlfriend who lost her own 3 children in 2013 due to living with a sex offender, leaving her young kids with him, force feeding her younger daughter and doing IV drugs as well as snorting drugs. My ex is a disabled veteran with a severe substance and alcohol problem, PTSD, mania, numerous arrests within the last few years. He’s been arrested about 4 times in the last 5 years we’ve been apart. Anyway I now have a fiance he has 2 children who he has primary custody of. He had a step daughter that we were fostering she’s 16 now but was 14 and 15 when living with us. She was into drugs and sex and doing real bad in school when she was 1st placed with us. She lived with us for about 2 years in that time she got clean, was on honor roll, playing softball and trying to be class president. Well we rewarded her and bought her a cell phone fast forward 2 months grades were down and we found nudes in her phone that she was sending to boys in the town she used to live in. We took her phone and grounded her. 2 weeks later she decided to go back with mom. Then we started getting msgs from friends telling us they were concerned for her she was making snap chat stories doing drugs and half naked. We decided until she got help she couldn’t come over and influence our other young children and teenagers. She got mad. She is also an ex girlfriend of my ex husband’s bow girlfriends son they started talking and she became friends with my ex husband they made up a story about my fiance saying g he sexuallt abused her and physically abuse me, her and the other 5 children we have. Now I take sexual abuse seriously but, I knew she was lying about everything else as there has never been any abuse in my home not to me or my children. And my children were questioned and told DHS and police that she was lying. My fiance was never charged with anything her stories kept changing and still change to this day. Fast forward and my ex husband now wants full custody of my son we went to court he had the step daughter lie on the stand. I had rebuttal witnesses such as my sons therapist as well a 6 DHHS workes and my fiance subpoenaed and ready to dispute her testimony the judge denied my request. In fact my exs attorney lied and stated he never received copies of my exhibits even though I USPS certified mailed them and had the tracking number showing the 12.60 Oz package was delivered to a person on his office. The hearing took 2 days and was over zoom. The judge had me present my case on the 1st day but I was not allowed to use my exhibits because the attorney lied. The judge claimed he was leaving my case open for the 2nd day so that I could provide them copies of my exhibits again and then use them for the 2md half of the trial. However when when 2ns day came he told me there was not enough time. So I was denied the use of my exhibits and my rebuttal witnesses and exhibits can this be enough reason to be granted an appeal??? Time is of the essence and yes I know I need an attorney I don’t have the $3,500-$6000 retainer. Any advice or help would be much appreciated.
This happened 2 weeks ago I get every other weekend. My ex won’t let my son have his cell phone that I pay for and has only let me talk to him twice. He also has missed 4 days of school in 2 weeks and with 2 weeks left of the school year he’s changing my son’s school on him oh and canceled his dental appointment too and won’t consider getting him a therapist right now.
My good friend was done this was her child father who is 130K in back child support came after her after the Attorney General off started pressing him. He had his oldest daughter pretend like she was going to take the child to a birthright party only for him plot to take the child, which is what they did the took the son hide him out from the mom, the DA files interfering with Child custody laws, but no charges was filed cause the father and his crooked lawyer with in the court without mother knowledge and got a temporary default order, provision on vistation be at a safe program. When the father was an absentee father who never even sent the kid a birthday card. How in the world could that have happen when he in broken the law of agreement being contempt of courts. He made false allegations of drugs use which a hair follicle test cleared her. Why is the courts supporting this illegal act of parents fight dirty? Without proof. This has to Stop!!! We’re destroying the children caught in the middle and ruin lives. Help us fight for justice in our family courts. But writing our legislators a representative of our state to put Stop to these type of practices.
Stand up for our children’s for our family.
God be with you all the way.
Oh my Lord this is just disgusting. Maybe because she can’t have kids and is bored at home so is trying to take your child away. This world is sick.
Just have another few kids and keep fighting for these ones..she Will be gutted
I pray that justice is overturned in your favor and be an even better mother than you we’re the first time. Praying for you.
I’m going through this right now. I’m terminating grandma guardianship and she lied last time we went to court. And she’s doing it again. I have a lawyer this time. I just hope a judge can see through the lies
I just found this site. I have been going through this a year. You posted in May. Any good news updates? What state do you live in? If you reply, I will respond and happy to chat and support each other. I found a support group and it has been tremendous.
Jen, where do you live?
This is about money. Not your children. My heart bleeds for you and your kids. Keep fighting!!!
Sorry to hear ,my son is going through that now ,after the mom was denied to move to another state,she came up with a plot with her teen son three days after she was denied.
Very sad. I am very sorry to hear that. I dont understand If the allegations were unfounded then why can’t you see your child and why would you need to pay costs?
I’m in the same boat.I’m a mother with a broken heart.my x partner took my 7 year old daughter 11th April 2917.he’s coming out with allegations every time were in court.I have a fulltime job pay maintanance.he’s a bully mentally grooming our daughter
Hi Sofie. I am so sorry My daughter is 7 and it has been since Nov 2017 for me. I have a 9 year old too.
Any good news updates? WHat state are you in? I am in NJ.
if you reply, I will and maybe we can advise each other. I found a support group and it has been so helpful.
Dear God, i am so sorry you are going through this. I am about to as well. PLEASE, SEEK LEGAL AID. i wish i could pay the bill for you, but i cant even afford rent right now…
Excellent point driven article. New to this site, I haven’t explored other topics of interest yet so my question may be premature. What about false and malicious allegations against the step-parent? I realize this issue presents an entirely diverse conversation, but the ultimate issue remains constant- the welfare of the children. What about the children who are exposed to emotional and mental abuse at the hands of the spiteful and scorned biological parent, against a loving and caring step parent? Absent any legal rights, what recourse does the step-parent have, when finding themselves at the mercy of the courts?
Thank you. This was my area of exploration, as the step mother. A 7 year nightmare, with no end in sight..other than my marriage as a result of it.
Sometimes you have to let people be and move on with your life. Itsucks that the relationship with the children is broken but the stress of the false allegations can affect other family members and your Marriage. Leave them alone. Pay your child support and keep your distance. If you don’t more accusations will magically appear.
I agree. I’m at this point now. My ex, his family, his friends, and even some of my family because of him has poisoned the minds of our children. I’m out of funds to fight for them anymore and the more I fight the more they blame me even though he’s the one that disobeys the court orders. Our court date outcomes seem to be based on whatever mood the judge is in. All I can do now is remind them I love them, pay my child support, and pray the good Lord opens their eyes to the truth one day. I can’t allow them to ruin my marriage and my career based on false allegations. It’s very sad.
My husband and i are dealing with this at the moment and they took our 19 month old out of our home because the allegations of child abuse. there are several other allegations from drug trafficking to DV. we go nowhere and no one cares what i haveto say about the DV. We have an investigator who started today because theres no proof but still they hold our baby hostage and my ex is refusing our side the chance to talk to my kids. I have another lawyer in the same state as ex and they are going after him with an investigation but who knows what damage will be done before this is over.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I have similiar issues .ex and his mom leveled false accusations at me due to me going for full custody of our kids. That was a year ago. Cps hasn’t got in contact with me since then and hasnt returned any of my calls. We have 2 minors in our home .My kids with my new spouse and I’m terrified cps or someone will try to take them. But yeah it’s been a year since I’ve been able to see my kids with my ex. I mean how do u prove something that never happened?! But ex and his mom have money and friends in the system in that county. My kids need me now more than ever. How do u fight this kind of thing when u don’t have the money for multiple lawyers and investigaters , etc…
Thank you for sharing this. I finally feel like someone has summed up what I am going through. Its been two years since my daughter’s father made false allegations to a judge to gain custody and punish me for talking to my make friend ( now fiance), I’m living a nightmare And at this point the father continues to make false allegations about me to the superior Corey- family law and to the police ending up in court at the city municipal courthouse. This is taking over my life! Currently I am not even allowed to see or talk to my daughter because I was found in contempt, after my daughter made her forth comment of being sexually abused by her older cousin at dads house. I won’t continue because my story only gets sadder bu I will NEVER give up on fighting for my girl! She wants her old life back and some how I’m going to do this! Please pray for me.
Very informative … I am going through same abuse that my EX is putting on me . In one month period of time my life is upside down. Only crime was I want to present in my kids life I thought I would provide them the best fatherhood in whatever circumstances. But I feel I am getting week day by day. My Ex degrated herself in a such an extant that finally she put rape charges for the thing that I love 100000 times more then my own life. Request all th viewers to pray for me to get out from this allegation
I wish the courts attorney and Judges really took notice at some of these cases like this that come before them in there court room instead we have judge and amcus giving kickback while placing child in the wrong hands… when will the real judge and court appointed amcus see it not just about putting money in your pocket when making a decision that would affect a child for a life time to come. Isn’t the street of America damaged enough bad lawyers, and judges team up on the wrong side whatever happen to the Best Interests of a child?
You wish they took notice? They know EXACTLY ￦hat theyre doing. You didn’t read this thread?
To Melissa Ashby, and attorney William Geary,
I have spent all night despretly looking for help and answers to an upcoming case I am fighting with my exhusband once again for my custody of my now 11 year old son. I was appalled to hear how many stories are so similar to my own that I couldn’t help but to finish the night into the morning to post something on the site and plead for some kind of advice or help and ask How Judges could take away children from good mothers!! My exhusband as well is using my son only to hurt me because I refused to fail when he took all his money with him and the kids and I in dire straits! I was a wonderful Stay at home mother that did all the right things raising my kids and taking care and our farm that I had before marriage and children. After our mariage my husband worked a great job and furthered his schooling and apprenticeship for five more years to further his income to have security in his work industry. I had no idea what was to become of it once he had finished and left on his way. He had a history of family violent cases that were NOT allowed to be brought up in court! He had come into my life with not one personal belonging and a rundown old truck but I loved him anyway, it wasn’t about money or what you had to me it was making s future together! We started having arguments after a couple hurricanes when he refused to spend or help on reapaires after two hurricanes but on himself only, while we all suffered from the damage to our home and farm I had to get family from out of state to come help me rebuild and Help pay for the damages. Shortly after he had walked out on me and the children with months of debt owed for very past due bills and everything in my name because of his bad credit that I was held responsible for after the divorce was finalized! I was left with nothing but child support that didn’t even cover my sons schooling. A few years went by and my exhusband had turned very jealous and tried again to hurt me by taking me to court for custody of our son who was then 0nly 6. My son had a sister that was only 3 years older and we’re best of friends. The kids and I were a VERY TIGHT, CARING, LOVING HAPPY FAMILY. We loved our loved our farm more than anybody could imagine and I worked very hard ( not easy not having worked after 10 years of raising children and making sure they eventually they attended the best Catholic school With A honor roll year after year that I sacrificed to pay myself. What have I done wrong to deserve this? We made trips to the zoo, the park, had Campfires, went to the beach regularly, the waterpark, and NASA. Even trips back home 1500 miles away just to see my side of family every year.. Everything that I could give them to have a very good life. After a battle that I had to hire 2 lawyers to fight because one gave me very bad advice I had to sell are home and farm just to fight for my son again from a controlling ex in court AGAIN, I lost custody of my own son because my own I lawyer said me theres nothing wrong with being poor!! I thought I was going to faint since he knew I had to sell everything to hire him. How can these judges take a little boy from his mother, sister and ALL HE KNEW IN IN THE WORLD OVER WHO MAKES THE BIGGEST PAYCHECK!!! This IS NOT FOR THE BEST INTEREST FOR MY CHILDREN THIS ABOUT WHO BRINGS HOME MOST TO THE TABLE WHILE BABYSITTERS ARE RAISING MY SON and lost years growing up with his sibling!! How long can this court system get away with this action of pulling children FROM GOOD MOTHERS! It’s been 4 years of torture I can’t EVEN explain for my daughter and I!!! EVEN brainwashing my son and using my him to CONTOL me and Now he’s taking me back to court again so he can be custodial parent so he can move out of state to BE WITH HIS since it was SO EASY TO DO and Get help from his family caring for him while I have to drive 5 hours one way to see my son and hold a full time job! There has got to be a stop to this ABUSE!! Of coarse I’ve hired another Attorny for this case that I’ve only talked to once with two cancelations, no calls backs and not ONE EMAIL!! Hired in May, Final scheduled for Febuaury! If anyone can give me advice it would be much appreciated !! God Bless!
Sammie:
I really hope that by now you have your little boy back home with you. I am going through the same EXACT situation now and I wanted to know if you had any advice for me. My son is 11 and this was his fathers 3rd attempt. The first two times the judge saw right through him. He accused me of being on drugs, in violent relationships, said my son was neglected, etc. All of which he had zero proof and I had proof of just the opposite. I immediately took a drug test, obtained copies of school and medical records, letters from friends etc. The judge was not pleased with his lies either times to the point of him being reprimanded. Yet here we are again except this time we have a new judge. My sons dad filed a request for an emergency hearing for temporary orders, never served me, and was denied the request. All this happened without my even knowing because I was never served. A few days after all of that he did serve me with paperwork for custody. We went to our first hearing and honestly I did not think I had anything to worry about. He has proven to be a liar in court and they will see right through him, right? WRONG! At our first hearing he was granted temporary sole legal custody and joint physical. He now has my son who has NEVER lived with him before and who has been ripped away from me and his 5 year old brother (who by the way cries for his brother to come back home often). My son often missed visits with his dad because his dad had more important things to do, his dad was very rarely available, missed several school functions, and the list goes on and on. On average my son would see his dad 4, maybe 5, days out 30/31 days. We had joint legal and physical custody but he has never been active in anything to do with education, medical, or any other decision making where it came to our son. I have been the one to take care of all decisions where our son was concerned for his entire 11 years of life. I took him out of one school and put him in one closer to where we live because my intentions were to move closer to the first school but that did not work out for financial reasons and it was too far of a commute to keep him at the first school if we weren’t going to move near it. Putting him the school near us even put him closer to his dads house and I did notify the dad of the move as I do with everything else. My moving my sons schools without consent from him was the ONLY thing the judge asked me about during the hearing and apparently her reason for taking my son from me. She would not even allow me to explain, she was completely disinterested in anything I had to say. Why would I need to consult with him this time when I NEVER have in the past for anything. Why would she not let me explain this to her if this was her true reason for taking my son from me?! The hearing was rescheduled because we have not attended mediation yet and the next hearing date is almost 3 months from our first hearing. I now have visitation and now this poor excuse of a man is limiting my phone calls and even denying me visits. The judge who did this is the same judge that denied his request for his emergency temp orders yet it seems that she has let what she read from him for that request influence her to the point of taking my son away. None of it makes any sense to me. My whole world is spinning and I don’t know what to do. I am on my second attorney already and she seems to think the best way to handle this would not be to tell the truth about this man and his multitude of lies to the court in the past and the fact that he has never been proactive in our son’s life because that would be “attacking” him. She feels we should accept the temporary orders and suggest my son come back home after the school year is over because the judge would not want to disrupt his current living situation. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????? Isn’t that exactly what happened when he was taken from me and his little brother? Isn’t separating siblings traumatizing for them? Handing him over to someone he’s never lived with or had any desire to live with isn’t disruptive and then some for him? My son has asked, more times than I can count, for me to call his dad on his weekends to ask if my son can stay home with me instead of go with his dad for the weekend. Doesn’t that speak anything???? I want to fight and I want to fight hard because I WANT MY SON BACK. I don’t want to accept the wrong that has been done here because it’s not okay and I want my son back. There was no reason AT ALL for him to be taken from me and ripped away from his little brother. My son wants to come home. I am struggling financially at the moment and made decisions for my family based on this which included moving my son from a school too far away to one near where we live without consulting his dad (because I have NEVER ONCE had to do that) but that isn’t reason enough for my son to be removed from me. Is there anything you or anyone else can tell me that will help me get my little boy back??
I am not experiencing the same thing. I wish I could chat with you about this. Support wise. My head is spinning.
I meant NOW experiencing the same thing
In the name of Jesus.. I pray for all of you ladies fighting to get your children back. The allegations my ex is documenting is physical abuse. He repeats himself over and over after my 3 year old daughter goes back to his house. I am always taking pictures of my daughter before she returns back to him. I break down when he repeats himself.. My daughter has bruises on her arms, legs, ankles, and feet. I’ve been running to the doctor’s office to report/and to also take responsibility when she falls hard because she has gait mobility. She doesn’t walk flat footed. I just got a referral to see an orthopedic doctor.
shift blames all her bruises on her legs and mosquito bites and diaper rash?? My daughter is trained to use the toilet. I cry all the time as well. My ex and I were never married. He got me pregnant in three months after the 90 day trail of no intercourse. In total.. six months at the age of 42 years old!! My biggest regret of my life was to tell him that we conceived. There is so much to say.. I focused on my daughter and work for nearly four years without dating anyone. My daughter was in my custody for 13 months and he fought for his 50/50 to pay less child support. I had a terrible lawyer(s) their a bunch of scum bags even a lady was a nightmare. I’m very emotional. All I could do is cry in front of these attorneys which made them sick. Majority of attorneys lack empathy or have very little. It’s called narcissism. I studied the personality disorder for nearly three years now. I have answered over 300 Quora questions and have 117 followers. Nothing to brag about at all. I wanted to heal as I tried my best to answer their questions through personal experience. As I read your testimonies.. All of you are dealing with malignant narcs/sociopath. Most of them are high functioning that have the income to hire bull dog attorneys to get full custody. I stay in faith and have support from my Christian sisters to put all my trustGod. It’s not easy. My ex is building his case. Now.. I’m in the same boat to take action now. One lawyer told me.. He can document all he wants. He has to prove it in court. Keep taking pictures!!! This is emotional abuse for my daughter. I try my best to say! It’s picture time! I get a big smile on her face.
. He also documents she goes home with red blotches on her face. She has a very mild case documented at the doctor’s office perioral dermatitis. I have a bag of arnicare if she falls and gets a bruise on her knee and several tubes of Neosporin for when she gets bit from a mosquito. She starts to scratch her skin. A very fair complexion. It’s a freaking nightmare! I cannot relax and have to hold her hand all the time from falling. She can’t be a kid! I’m terrified if she gets a bump or scrape, etc. However, when she comes back with multiple bruising and scratches.. I document. I took a two month break from reading his messages on the parenting app. To give myself a mental break. Today, I had a mental breakdown. I was researching if I can sue him for false allegations before he takes me to court. The personality disorder is to torture you and break you down. I know this however, it’s extremely difficult to be calm when a sociopath is also brainwashing my 3 year old daughter to think I’m mama number 2. “‘m the bad guy and scary!” I document the time and day when she slips. Any questions I ask her about.. How’s the sitter treating her or if Daddy is taking you out> no, no, no. or puts her head down when I ask her if the sitter aka live in girlfriend. She sometimes cries… Everything you’re experiencing right now is not your fault. You’re dealing with a sociopath. There’s a book called, Be prepared to be tortured. I forgot the author’s name. I’ve been tortured and it’s just the beginning. My sisters are praying for me to give me favor, wisdom, peace and strength. Bible study online helps a lot. Especially with the COVID 19 going around. You’re not alone ladies. You can read my comments on Quora under Nicole Smith aka fake name to protect myself or read everyone’s testimonies to help you heal and get your strong! Narcs/sociopath are very similar. Extremely manipulative and know how to get the judge including the attorneys involved to favor his case. I sometimes think… Is he paying everyone off to win! They love ligitation!game to them to use your kids as weapons to mentally destroy you. A high functioning psychopath is much better! They don’t care to waste their time; however, a sociopath can’t get away with murder, so they mentally want you to either commit suicide or breakdown to take your kids away. Perhaps this helps to understand “wy this is happening to you? You can utube narcissism. If I know back then about this personality disorder and understood the red flags to get the hell out! I would be living in peace with my baby girl. There is hope because our father in heaven is our lawyer and judge. I live in South Florida in the West Palm beach area. If anyone lives in this area. We should form a group to fight back!
Many blessings to you lovely ladies. Find a good church online/woman’s bible study is great! If you message me. I could speak to my sisters and have them send you a link. That’s completely up to you. Peace and Freedom
FL has some really slanted laws. My daughter is having issues with her ex and wife #4 which decided to crack into a phone she gave her 2 kids and got into her cloud which was not hooked up to this phone. She did this because he kept videoing the conversations between her and the kids. They now have personal phone numbers, attorney client private information which they used to gain the advantage and now have the kids living with them as well as they sent her boyfriend slanderous messages saying she is cheating on him. To say the least the relationship ended. They also made a back-up copy of the cloud. He is video taping 24/7 or should I say the sterile coco he married is videoing every drop off and pick up to harass her. To boot their Lawyer Trudy Richardson who has a law firm in Tallahassee, FL had this inside information before the hearing and is now using it once again to in no other terms black mail her because she exposed this lawyer and her unethical behavior. His lawyer even admitted her client cracked into the phone and cloud. Currently in SC there is an open case because the ex and wife #4 cracked into her cloud. She was advised to sue both of them and find out how much they are worth so she can go after them of at least that amount. I expect that this court will do nothing because wife #4 now known as Mary Elizabeth Arenas decided with the ex to concoct a near drowning of her youngest daughter and the ex lied under oath and fed it to the judge. Talk about a web of lies…
The trio: His lawyer, the ex and wife #4 are all extreme narcissist. We are hoping by filing a show cause with all the evidence which was included in the filing will be a way of getting ahead of this dirty lawyer and her criminal client. Should anyone be reading this, I hope that should you file anything in a family court you include your evidence with it. That way the judge is forced to acknowledge it instead of ignoring it as so may mothers are being denied a basic right of having evidence and their voice heard. There is an entire group of children being denied a good mother because of the lies and fabricated allegations not backed up with a lick of evidence that is happening in family courts all over the US. Apparently family court is the new hunger games….
Ives been in divorce court for a year and a half. My ex called cps on me told them my daughter said I touched her no no spot 3 times. They made a ex parte. Had her go to counsoler then to physchologist where my daughter which is 7 told them explicit things and I haven’t lived with her since she was 5.5 and didn’t see her for a year untill she was 6.5. I have a preliminary hearing to get my rights terminated in a few weeks. I offered to take polygraph test. I’m at my witts end. I would never sexually abuse anyone. In a veteran on disability and can’t afford a good attorney. Not many take payment plans.
If it has not been not yet or is not too late, ask the judge to appoint a Guardian Ad Litem to serve as your daughter’s advocate.
No you do not want a GAL I had GAL for my case. The GAL was a lawyer she made up a story about me lie and used that to take my kids away from me. She made it a point The there was no way I could ever see my kids again
Thank you for your article!!!.. I am the parent being accused of false allegations and it us not an easy cross to bear. I do have faith that the truth will prevail. It was like I was reading about myself in your article
Thank you to you both for writing this story. Parents like myself have been strung up like this twice. The first time I was capable of fighting off the false allegations and won “joint custody” but the second time I became depressed because the man I loved did this a second time. I initially fought, I got a protective order but he was too devious and manipulative. I had no money to fight his lawyers, to get all the experts needed, to get the police reports, etc. I couldn’t fight the allegations and my own father was turned against me. He died the night after he read my medical records which disproved everything my x-spouse falsely alleged. I initially got temp custody of my 12 year old but the very next day it was taken from me because the GAL didnt do her job, she believed the secondary lies told by the attorneys staff – I had no idea why I lost custody until 5 months later when the lying relative of the attorney filed her declaration. I was able to refute it because there was s witness but unfortunately it was too late. I went into even further depression. Not only we’re our children damaged but I am not able to recover – it has been 7 years, I sit at home now with my 2 grown children who are so messed up. They love their dad but they know the damage he is capable of. The judicial system knew the truth but Because I wasn’t capable of preparing paperwork they ruled against me. I’m disabled now so much so that I’m not able to advocate for myself at all. I just survive. Everyday I just wake up and exist along with my kids. How can I help stop further families from ever experiencing this? How can I stop the destruction of a good parent, of the children?
I am going through this same crap with false sexual allegations against my daughter. I cheated on my wife about 3 years ago and was thrown out of the house for a few months because the house was her mother’s. We managed to come back together and bought a house. There was so many arguments because my wife had lost trust in me. All of a sudden, my wife started restricting me from spending time with my 7 yr old daughter and 3 yr old son. She made a complaint to the child protection services and an investigation was started. I had to leave the house to stay with my dad because i don’t know what my wife planned to do next. Now the investigation is complete and the case is unfounded. I plan on going to court to file for joint legal custody with physical custody to my wife. I don’t want the kids to live with me because i have a feeling my wife will plan something else. I want visitation rights without any supervision. My wife on the other hand wants to supervise the time i spend with my kids. That won’t work because she has the tendency to control how i relate with my kids and always ends up with arguments. This interferes with the quality time i want to spend with my kids. Do i have a chance of winning this in court? Is it necessary to hire an attorney for this? Pls help
Legal Aid can help if you qualify. Most attorneys charge 250 to 400 an hour. If you have the income. Find a reputable attorney by calling legal forms and look them up on AVVO for their ratings and comments. Stay strong and don’t allow her to see you weak. She’s a narcissist. Utube the personality disorder and learn to deal with these people. I have one on my hand. Many blessings. May God favor your case. Ask him and you shall receive. Peace
Can someone please help me please I always had physical and sole custody of my granddaughter and it was never taken her grandmother set me up ask to take her on vacation and never went she called ocy and lies and said she lived with her mom which is my daughter so they said my custody was old and it’s a lie so ocy puts her in foster care and hives the woman plc and now she is cutting her arms they never took her for help now she is messaging me please mom mom come get me it’s terrible so the foster mom said that my family is her problem this child never ever had no mental issues and on top of this all her siblings are home that had the problem with there mom at there home but please can some one help me I had her since birth 06 to 2016 and I be came a foster mom on top of that ocy is lieing please
I am currently in a battle with my ex who i found a new man and new life while I was out of town working to stabilize the family. She took all my money and my daughter and left. 5 months later I was able to track her down she had moved from place to place with my daughter and her new man. She has been accusing me of being a drug addict. and abandoning her. I have taken all the advice given and documented everything. You will need to hire a good attorney. I worked day and night to afford an attorney and investigator. I saved a lot of the money by studying and helping with getting police reports hospital record and making my own copies.
Why would someone need a investigator, going thru same.
My ex (my son’s dad) is currently going through this with his first ex. They have dragged his name through the mud on the news, cost him his job, cost him and my son the opportunity to see each other. It breaks my heart for both of them. How could ANY parent alienate their child against their own parent is beyond me. I’m looking into any and all help he can get but everyone has already judged.
I’m seeing someone who is in this situation. My question is can the courts keep the father from seeing their child if he is accused but said to have no significant proof that he did anything? He is accused of sexual abuse but there is no proof of this. He has been unable to see his daughter due to guardian making excuses as to why she is unable to bring daughter to visit father.
I’m thinking about getting as many of the wronged parents together and bringing this to a national light to hopefully eliminate out greatly reduce the amount of false accusations and urge legislators to create a law wherein accusers would receive jail time or lose any and all benefits including child support. Please comment and send people to look and comment. If I get enough comments I will give a way to contact mgr and we can discuss the process in which we should take. Also, if there is an attorney that would like to be the legal council I this, please let me know as well
I am interested in your plan. My husband ( step father ) and I are being falsely accused and my parents and ex in laws are trying to take custody of 5 of my 6 children. They even brought my husbands very angry ex wife into the custody battle. The lies are so horrific. My children’s das committed suicide 2 years ago. The story would blow you away. Please let me know if you get families to gether. It’s so wrong what people will do in their anger andoride and greed and control. My children are being poisoned against me. It’s unbelievable. No evidence because it’s all made up. But so far the judges are buying it. I’m devastated without my precious children. I would live to meet other families who are going through the same thing. I’ve been totally black bakked in my home town of 47 yrs. it’s all so very sad. My faith and my sweet husband are getting me through. He is the kindest man I e ever known. My family decided to hate him and turn my children against him and made me look brainwashed abs crazy. Former best friends joined to group so its many people against the two of us. God has sent some amazing people into our lives and some family and friends who didn’t go along with the. Crowd. We are so grateful. They know the truth and they live us through this night mare.
I would be interested in helping
ace are you a lawyer?
please let me know if this ever came to light? I have been report twice on bogus allegations by “anonymous” going through a divorce at the same time.
I will help all I can to bring this to light, tell my story and just maybe finger some justice!
I would love to help
I would love to see the accusers that falsify things gwt reprimanded for what they do
And what are parents supposed to do when one parent absolutely is a monster? My ex used to strangle and rape me during my pregnancy. After I gave birth to our daughter I moved out of his house and have lived and have been providing for our daughter for an entire year and 3 months without ANY help from her father. But then he filed for sole custody just to fuck with my life and hurt me…so about TRUE monsters?
So who do we hold accountable for tis criminal behavior? The vengeful father? His over zealous and unethical Lawyer or the dysfunctional, rubber stamping, money hungry Family Court Justice System? I am in Sonoma County Ca. Judge Boyd and Mediator Dan Chester. Please contact me if you are interested in moving mountains. Strength in numbers.
As a pediatric nurse in an ER setting for years, this makes me sick! But I have witnessed it first hand. Oh, can we gather that in writing that I had to come in because the mom/dad wouldn’t do this or that????? It’s sickening what people will do to their children to get back at an ex! Someone they chose to have sexual relations with and make this baby! Praying for all these affected children and the parents.
I have been fighting custody for 10 months. When my husband and I split we were doing a set schedule getting along great until May 5th when I got my belongings out of his house. The next day he filed a Ex Parte saying I was a drug addicted having sex for drugs and that a police officer told him I was about to get arrested for drugs. I had no idea he had even hired an attorney. I talked to him at 3 pm Friday May 6th that I was getting off work at 6 pm and would pick up our daughter. He said that sounds great. At 5 pm my phone at work rings and it’s the Sheriff Department if I tried to go pick up my daughter I would be arrested bc he filed the Ex Parte. He kept my daughter for 10 days without letting me see her. Even on Mothers Day. I hired an attorney and we were supposed to have court for final hearing August 2nd. On August 1st at 3 pm my attorney contacted me he was withdrawing and would no longer be representing me. So they cancelled the court date and we still have not got anything done. He still have temporary custody and tells me if I just don’t ask for Dom Parent he will settle bc he is not handing me money without knowing exactly where it’s spent. All the accusations he made are 100% false he has no type of evidence to back them up. Two Tuesdays ago he even went to the corner office and filed a report I was threatening to kill myself. So I was picked up by Sheriff Department and brought to hospital for observation. They kept me for a few hours and then let me go bc they said I was in no way shape or form a threat to myself. How is it possible for him to continue to do all this with lies. He has tried everything possible to make me give up but I won’t rest until I have rights back to my baby girl. Someone please help me!!!!!
Most importantly hire a lawyer yesterday – if you cannot afford one you should contact your county’s court system or perhaps the agency that licenses attorneys in your state and inquire about pro bono attorneys or a public defender. You may also find other resources for legal help on your state website. There are many advocate groups you probably are not aware of who help parents in your situation. You seriously MUST find someone to represent you – the paperwork you must present in hearings is pretty complex – always different forms, limits on pages, some must be accompanied by supporting affidavits, etc. I very strongly urge you to find someone to represent you.
I will be upfront I have been dealing with custody issues for a long time now and without some kind of documented evidence he wouldn’t be able to make those things happen be careful what you text and say
This is a very good article, but you neglected to mention that the allegations you reference are virtually *always* used by women against men. When men do this to women, nobody believes them.
It is high time these kind of allegations are stopped by the Court. Allegations should be accepted only if there is hard evidence. I know someone going through the same and have seen the suffering and pain involved. Affected people should collectively approach the Government to change laws surrounding Domestic Violence and abuse. There is no point in just complaining
I am wondering how many parent’s are experiencing this in the state of MA. We, my daughter and I have been going through this, and it has escalated. Dealing with this kind of overt/covert abuse is like someone trying to touch a ghost. You know something is happening, ( gas lighting) yet, no one not even the Judge, DCF, the appointed GAL, the police, the schools can or will begin to see through this gas lit abuse.. I am willing to go public,despite the legal gag order the abuser has placed on me. Silence Impedes Solutions. Help me make my voice louder, stronger, so the safety in numbers will protect those victims who are too afraid to speak up.
My beloved ex spouse, is a licensed mental health counselor in Spokane WA. After a suprise announcement that she would seek divorce, and 50 days of a brutal and contrived initiative to seperate me from my children, I was able to get enough audio and video, to easily demonstrate the facts surrounding what was a unbelievable and severe departure from the person I thought I married. As she was loading out child belongings, bedding, memorabilia, pots, pans, food, and most everything else that could be shuttled in small but persistent loads, I found a chest that we used for photographs and memorabilia. I found a deposit of research pertaining to borderline personality disorders , divorce, marriage and family. Next to it I found 2 folders that had case evaluations conducted on her in what appears to be a college course. Also an essay pertaining to “attachment”. I read about how she perceived her Father, whom she never referred to in a positive manner. Rather he was always identified as the one that gave her “abandonment issues”. He lived in Arco. One day, prior to her parents moving to Spokane from a town in a remote part of Idaho, he sent a strange letter. My wife read it to me. He professed to love her mother, this and that. It was like something someone would right on their deathbed. After they moved here, the grandparents seem to draw my wife in, and after a while her dad was practically everywhere I turned. He approached our marital therapist for his individual psychotherapy. My wife and therapist convinced me to sign a HIPPA form under the pretense that it was so the therapist could chat, but supposedly not reveal any substantial details, about our marriage. I think it may have been a major mistake. I had just gotten out of a major truck accident and was in a wheel chair. Someone wrote “TBI” into the diagnoses of my injuries. Marriage Therapy went on for 7 months, but before and after the wreck were markedly different-the former productive, the latter a series of blow offs buy my estranged wife leading up to finale that seemed contrived and almost scripted. They were talking before I arrived at the last session. I still never put 2 and 2 together. 6 months following the accident, I received 3 restraining orders (2 false) and a Declaration that was absolute fabrication. I have been in a garage suffering from the most traumatic event of my life, against deadlines of the court, after firing my Counsel for what seemed almost like collusion with the other side. I have found that both restraining orders were drafted in a manner that makes both of them subject to vacation by court order. Since I have been restrained my wife has cancelled auto insurance, made huge changes to health insurance, been involved in usurping a $9,000 tax return, enrolled one of our children in psycho therapy, sent fraudulent information to Child Support, and attempted to extort money in exchange for being allowed to take my daughters to a Father-Daughter dance. Her and her attorney seem to think they are above the law, and I’m realizing that the only way out is through. I can’t find any case law that is remotely applicable. I have an ex that has threatened to dominate custody hearings due to her state position. She has exclusive custody of our children. She told me that one has “been talking about wanting to be dead lately”. I am worried about the kids. The oldest child in counseling is reaching out during visitation, like something bad is happening. There is nothing I can do. In one day, my wife changed my life forever by writing down and writing a declaration that is not even logically sound, even if the statements were true. They aren’t.
I’m in spokane dealing with similar situation. Please contact me.
My daughter is going thru a custody battle with abusive ex. He has family connections and money, and everything she has tried blows back in her face. The children and both parents are being seen by a court ordered counselor. My daughter doesn’t think its going too well. He has 70% custody, Even though she supplied police reports at their divorce, he still was awarded custody. His sister revealed to both of them, while they were married that she had been sexually abused by step father for years. She sent a copy of an email she was sending to her mother to my daughter. My daughter’s ex allows the children to be babysat by his parents. Can she threaten to use that email against him if he doesn’t give her at least 50/50? She is going for full custody, but that is probably unrealistic.
Our legal system is not the best in the world. The best in the world I would say is Iceland, Norway, Denmark and the lowland countries. They do everything in their power not to go to family court. As a matter of fact, if a case goes to family court the parties are fined because they found a way to make that child but now that they have broken up what has changed???? Nothing. Nothing at all besides resentment and to all of a sudden you laid down to have sex with that man or woman but once you break up with them they are no longer good enough to be a dad or a mother. In the United States this is encouraged and cha ching cha ching for all the employees of the family law system. Do not be naiive and think family court is fair please. Our family court makes sure nothing is resolved as long as possible because all the lawyers have to make money. As a matter of fact, if you have a case like mine you probably should go get a lawyer from another state that doesn’t care about being friends with the court system or its cronies in your state. One that will go up to bat and not actually wink wink nod nod to the other lawyer or judge. Judges retire and when they do those lawyers before them in these cases have nice lucrative jobs waiting for them so they have to work together for a decade or two and play nice at the expense of you losing your child or them dragging it out until you are bankrupt. How this starts is with unilateral therapy which should never be allowed due to the therapist aligning with one parent against the other. More frequent than not, these therapists never even meet the other parent but their crusade is with the aligned parent while the other parent has no clue what is going on until it is now 52 months till he/she has not been able to see his/her only child. Believe me, they all get paid “not to fix your issues” and one side is usually the side that runs the show. No such thing as a high conflict case, the lawyers and the family court industry make it high conflict on purpose, trust me on this. It has been proven time and again and judges will argue “you have been procedurally wrong or filed the wrong motion” and then there goes another 4 or so months just to get in front of that judge and then another 4 months passes by then another then another until you die or file for bankruptcy and give up on your only child because you feel like you died anyway. Our family court system needs a jury and a watchdog. Enough said.
Concerned citizen and licensed to expose corruption.
CSO…..
please help me… please email ..Please!!
my daughter raised her daughter for first almost three years of life.Father only came into picture when child support order was sent to him. parents had 50/50
than mother got arrested for driving with suspended liscence. Father went for sole custody. Due to mothers past substance abuse and recently acquired mental illness father got custody and mother got supervised visitation. I am the maternal grandmother and basic raised this child due to fathers abcense and mothers drug abuse. Now In final judgement there are absolute false statements about me and my home unproven. And father is not allowing child to see anyone on mothers side of family. Was just wondering if there is anything I can do we love this child and believe its emotionally harmful to child to no longer be involved with her only family she has ever known. In Florida
I totally agree with the stories here as I myself am going through it. Cas and my kids paternal grandma have made my life miserable for 8 years. Yes I co operated for 8 stinking years. Now my kids have been apprehended. I am going through the court system now. All I have found so far is that my worker and the society have covered everything up. They are also catering to a grandmother who could care less. Apparently before they were even apprehended my rights as a parent were terminated due to the conniving of the society and their kin. They thought I was going to lay down and die. Not this woman! I intend to get my kids back, prove corruption and cover up and sue the crap out of the peel children’s aid society. Also your workers supervisor might have a vendetta out for you and make this whole court process more difficult. Also over the years I’ve learned that the funding they get for each individual family only continues when they drag you through the mud, like when they should’ve closed the case. Not to mention we don’t even get 5 percent of it but my worker dresses like she’s on a runway. Hmmm I wonder why…. I also believe that if my kids grandmother wasn’t a social worker herself, that this wouldnt have even gotten this far. My advice to everyone in my position fight and fight hard. I can’t wait till this is all over and all the corruption and cover ups are exposed. FU cas.. frauds
i would be more interested to know about cas peel .. some help dealing with them would be appreciated
Its so sad to see so many people going through the same thing. My life was turned upside down on Almost 10 weeks ago now when my soon to be ex-wife made false allegations of domestic violence and child abuse. I was put in jail for over 2 days (because of the weekend — Fulton County Prison, no less) and I have not seen my 7 year old to this day… 10 weeks. I have seen our 3 year old one time – under supervision – for 50 minutes.
My wife and I had an argument where she attacked me then HOURS later, when I had left the house with our 3 year old… she went to the hospital and claimed I attacked her, abused our sons and left them. I was arrested 10 hours after our argument by 6 officers with guns drawn on me like I am some kind of threat. In my life I have had maybe 4 traffic violations…. nothing else; dont drink much – if at all, dont smoke or do drugs… never been in any trouble of any kind; Kind of boring to a point. I am now not able to see my kids or go anywhere near my kids; I am not able to go to our church or talk to our parish priest (they are afraid of getting involved); I am driving around with a dash camera in my car; We have a Guardian ad Litem in place to investigate and decide on custody/visitation AND 3 days before court (after 6+ weeks) my wife got a Therapist involved for our 7 year old. Although the Guardian can see my wife is lying (what my son has said coupled with the conflicting reports my wife made) the court so far has allowed my wife to keep my sons from me. I believe this will change soon but I am very concerned for my sons; Our 3 year old is doing ok it seems but our 7 year old (at least from what I am told) is having a hard time. It is very hard knowing that I did not abuse my kids or my wife but I have to wait for the system to play out and do what is right…. The system is very broken. This is easily the hardest thing I have ever been through; The only thing keeping me going are my sons. If other parents going through this are willing to get together to get State or National attention on false accusations I would be willing to listen and entertain the thought of joining you. No innocent parent should be kept from their child/children like this and no parent making false claims like this should get away with it. There should be stricter laws against it.
I pray every day and I try to keep my mind off things but my sons are always right there — how can they not be? Its a horrible struggle Please keep my sons and I in your prayers.
I can tell you EXACTLY what kind of person does this. A narcissist. A person who lacks empathy, and looks at all other people as objects to use at their disposal, without any remorse to the damage they inflict. Including their own children. This type of person will willingly destroy the loving relationship of the other parent to the child/ren simply to avoid any responsibility to the failed marriage… And they are good. It’s what they do, all their lives. It’s what they thrive on/excel at. As a matter of fact you’ll come to realize that this person you thought once loved you has been planning this for a long time. Planting little seeds of deciept and connivery along the way untill they have a forest of accusations to hurl wildly with no fear of penalty of perjury to hold them back. They will be calm and collected in court, you will be traumatized, terrified and in a scrambling panick. Desperate to try to hold onto and maintain the relationship you so cherish with your child/ren. They will have the backing of lawyers telling them to use false accusations to gain upper hand, organizations like WEAVE (California) teaching them the steps to take to appear the victim of these absurd allegations, and they will have the backing of the mediators and judges in family court because typically they will be on welfare (suddenly) and you will become a revenue stream. All under the false stigma of “children’s best interest”. If they don’t do this after all, the child’s best interest is to remain a part of both parents love’s. Joint custody, where’s the profit in that? They will succeed no matter what unless you are in a position to hire an outrageously expensive family lawyer who either serves in the same court as judge pro tem or is affiliated with a firm that does. Keeping the money in house. Doesn’t matter if you have video evidence contrary to accusations, witnesses, police reports in your favor… Even a documented history of the accusers history of false accusations in the same court. It won’t matter. You’ll present your defense at trial, one that would easily prove your innocence to a jury of peers. But your not afforded that right either. The Judge who profits from your pain will decide your fate. The accuser will get everything they ask for without ever meeting a burden of proof. You will lose the precious relationship you had with your child and be stuck with the bill to take care of it all. If like me, you will only see your child at a supervised visitation center where you pay $50hr to see your child for 2-4hrs max 1 day a week. With a counselor typing everything you say and do. You won’t be allowed to reach out to comfort your child and embrace them or speak at all about what is going on to them. You will be powerless when your child holds onto you screaming and crying that they don’t want to go with the other parent, they want to stay with you. When that child is staring into your eyes with tears in theirs looking at you to protect them like they thought you always would, you’ll have to pull your hand from theirs as they are pulled away crying. You will be crushed, and more importantly so will your precious child. You will struggle to maintain a minimal role in the child’s life because you love them and you know without your love they won’t know love. You will suffer depression no matter how mentally strong you are. You will consider suicide, or giving up because every time you try to fight for what’s right it backfires and makes things even worse. You will feel remorseful and guilty for these backfires too. You will be broke, tired, exhausted. You will be treated like the lowest scum on earth and chances are the accusations your suffering all these dire consequences from are the exact things your accuser did during the relationship. You will be lost, you will research countless hours for answers to find justice, for support, for steps to take to regain the loss of your paternal bond. You will find none… I know cause this is the nightmare I’ve lived for a year plus. It’s no secret that title 4 funding profits off of the pain of severed families. It’s no secret that the family court system is corrupt, unconstitutional, morally unjust. Our forefathers would turn in their grave knowing the treasonous manner in which these family courts run business. Yes business… I wish this upon nobody
Wow. It’s as tho you have been watching the situation I’m presently going through. Not once has she brought a single piece of evidence for everything she has lied about. I have had evidence for everything I have disputed. The judge has entered as evidence and yet he had granted every motion they have entered. She has a lawyer, I don’t. I have been served with 16 motions in 6 weeks. I got served with a motion to produce some papers but her lawyer never sent the list of what was needed. I emailed the lawyer twice, asking for the list. She finally emailed back and her response was, and I quote. “We are under no obligation to provide you with the list”. What happened? The judge found me in default for not providing the papers by the due date. When we went to court for matter I motioned the judge not to grant their motion and cited the Rule number her lawyer was in violation of and the section of the Code of Conduct the lawyer was also violating by not providing me the list, ensuring I would be in default. He looked at me with an F you smirk on his face, didn’t give an answer to my motion and granted theirs. I have 2 options left. 1st, file a motion to produce documents since she claims the police have been involved numerous times, that I have sent her threatening messages and letters. She claimed one the the vehicles has been broken into twice and is accusing me because all that was missing was pictures. She is going to have to produce police reports for every time she claimed she called them, police reports for the times she said the car was broken into, insurance claims, credit card statements or bank statements showing how they paid for the broken windows and damage and the bills from whoever fixed the damage to the vehicle. When she doesn’t produce any of it or even if she can fabricate a couple of documents my last option is to file a motion for contempt for perjury. She has willfully and knowing lied under oath whether verbally or with written statements on official court documents that warn of the consequences of perjury for giving false testimony. I have every thing I have been served with due to her lies and allegations that prove she is lying to the court. She tries to make me look worse and worse every time she files something by using, which is actually the only consistent thing, “Its the same thing that happened last time”. When she tries to say what happened the previous time its a different story the second time. She lies so much she doesn’t/can’t remember what she said the first time so she says what she believes in her mind to be the truth at that moment.
Also, your explanation of a narcissist is spot on. If or when you find out they are narcissists its like being able to see and think clearly for the first time in a long time. It’s like watching a movie you’ve never seen for the second time. Every thing the did before is so clear and obvious. When that happens you realize how predictable they actually are and you know their next action/reaction for every situation before they react. The absolute worst thing you can every do to a narcissist is call them out on their narcissism, tell them how they are going to react to a situation and then call them a narcissist when they act the way you said they would. Hell hath no furry like a narcissist you’ve exposed. Their sole purpose from then on is to destroy you by any means necessary. “By any means necessay” is actually an irrelevant statement because in their mind they have never done anything wrong, won’t admit they were wrong even if the truth is staring them in the face and they will never apologize for anything. The only time the word sorry comes out of their mouth is in the form of “I’m sorry you feel that way”.
If we simply decouple child support and custody time, most of the problems mentioned in this article will be greatly reduced. False accusations are made so that one parent gets all or the majority of custody time, which in turn leads to increased child support. When money is involved, people will do terrible things to get as much as they can. When increased custody time does not result in increased child support, there will be a lot less motive to make false accusations.
Yes, exactly.
Yes…thank you. Please remove money from it so psychopathy does not make the way into Court.
Sorry to all who are going through this. I lhave been where you are and know the devastation that you feel. My oldest son was deeply brainwashed by his father and he kept him tightly controlled. I did not see my son for 7 years. My ex tried to do the same with the younger children but thankfully they were able to see through the indescrepencies and lies they were being fed. My children are now all young adults.My oldest child has come back into my life adter 2 years of having no contact with his father. I believe he has suffered the most emotional scars from his 7 years under the influence of a very sick person.There is hope and restoration. God brought our family back together. I can not get back those 7 years but I can tell you that the children will figure out in time what the other parent has done. FYI We are still fighting in court for his child support arrearages and none of the children choose to be around such a toxic person. Prayers to all of you!
I don’t believe our legal system is the best in the world and far from imperfect. I feel for both man and woman victim to these unreasonable abuses. This article sums u exactly what I could not put into words. I hope someone here can come up with a strong strategy suggestion as to how to make the parents behave and not take away the other’s dignity.
To begin with, this behavior is encouraged and supported by the system, and then, when everyone is done getting paid, will they maybe expose the truth. The attorney’s, firms, and judges should have a no tolerance view. And perjury in family law should be punishable, but it isn’t in certain provinces. Blind eyes.
This is very much happening to me!! The courts have even put down some of there lies on the custody Arrangement paperwork I want to know what recourse I have to go after not the opposing party but for the system itself the court. Both for putting down unsubstantiated falsehoods on a legal document and for gross incompetence in this case. Please tell me what my recourse is?? Thank you
I have a family member suffering because of this topic. It’s sickening knowing that the deranged one causing this trauma to family is using false claims to divert this warped person’s actual wrongdoing. Then, complacent, biased & click-driven court personnel set to destroy the true, wholesome victim of these allegations. Add kids to the ordeal and the family is ruined.
My Ex wife has made 6 Child Protective Service allegations against me, all to be found “unfounded”. We are in court for the second time as she attempts to take custody. She is mental abusive to myself and anyone that comes into my life. She is doing her best to “break me” and has told me ” I will financially ruin you” She has made 8 pages of false accusation which the court has found all to be untrue. She tells my kids I am lazy, tells my children not to listen to my sitter… And Yet She still has 50/50 Custody. I literally fear what is coming next. It is mentally exhausting and I believe is messing up my kids. I am at a loss and just don’t know what I am supposed to do.
Ever since my husband was awarded full custody of his child due to mom and stepdad physically abusing my stepchild where cops and ambulance were called by a neighbor, My husbands ex and her spouse for the past 5 years have continuously called child protection services with false accusations about me, my husband, and my own biological children and it’s stressful. Anytime someone we never seen before comes knocking on our door (like a new neighbor for example) my anxiety and fear skyrocket. EVERY call and EVERY accusation has been unfounded EACH AND EVERY time but it’s mentally exhausting and traumatizing to go through this twice or more a year.
They’ve even called and tried to report my husband for stealing from his job, welfare fraud (when we were on state insurance for a year because of almost going bankrupt and homeless due to legal fees), etc….AGAIN EVERYTHING accused was unfounded and no cases ever opened.
And it’s been 5 years now and it’s still happening. It’s a little bit less than the first 2-3 years but it’s still happening regardless.
And here we are just trying to live life and move on and we have never once retaliated nor want to. We just wanted everyone to do them as they do after final custody was signed.
I was on vacation with my grand-daughter, the mother called the police and told them I was a possible DUI and had taken her child out of state without her knowledge. I was stopped, did a sobriety test, and then handcuffed and put in a police car while my grand-daughter watches, crying and screaming for me, and I could do nothing. At the station, before even a breathe test was done, they called the mother to come and take the child home. She has used this incident to terrorize my grandchild into not wanting to even see me. I had legal rights to visitation and lost them due to this horrible event. After 2 years of reliving this event, I now find out that it was the mother who was behind all of this to end my close relationship with this child.
The only way this will ever stop is if those who make false allegations are held criminally and civilly liable. Throw a few of them in jail and levy a five-figure fine. Let’s see how many people continue lying after they see that there are real consequences.
S.
Exactly! Accountability will end verything.
Our family court system is truly disgusting.
I’m going through hell right now and the courts continue to let the abuse occur.
This is overwhelmingly heartbreaking.
me and my 2 children’s father split up because he was both physical and mentally abusive. I have tried and tried to protect my children he hurts them and blames me he puts me down to them and tries to gift them things to say they want to live there in return and my 6 year old daughter is so stressed. she just wants to be a kid and he wo t stop. they won’t keep the children from him in fact he has temp custody of our 3y/o son! which now calls me by my name. I cannot get the judge to believe me that he is warping my children’s minds and abusing them meanwhile accusing me and calling dhs on me constantly him and his wife both. she plays along. I do not know what to do! I just want my children to be happy and stress free but woth theor father being a sociopath and the law not stopping him what can i do?
This article describes exactly what I’m going through right now. I made the mistake of allowing my 3 year old daughter visit with her father last summer. He was paying child support and made a lot more money than me, so I didn’t want to deny him visitation in fear that he would take me to court. When the time came for him to bring her back, I received court papers, stating a law suit had been filed against me in the state of New Mexico for full custody and the father was alleging sexual abuse while in my care. The court had already awarded him emergency temporary custody without my knowledge. He had already taken my daughter to the er and had a rape kit performed on her without my knowledge. The doctor stated they could not state that the child had been molested but if he believed this he needed to report it to the police. All of these accusations are false. She has had a guardian ad litem assigned to her and has been visiting a councilor. The judge said 45 days till we met again in court, she has now been in this other state going on a year and a half. No one will speak with me not even my lawyer who is a joke. I’m not allowed to write the judge. The guardian ad litem shares all details of my evidence against the father with him and they are on first name basis. I feel completely shut out. I don’t know what to do at this point. Her father doesn’t even have her, due to his work schedule, she has been living with a babysitter for months now. And my daily visits the judge said I should have, well I don’t get them. Any advice?
Spot on. Thank you for such honest and insightful article.why doesn’t the court /government see this open and common injustice and do something about it like make the parent who is causing problems pay for court costs, fines or attend parenting courses or lose custody??
They r sayin can’t take care of son they have hade with all spurts of allegation about me cause I have a disability which doesn’t affect me takin care of my son they have hade him in foster care without proof of anything which is deplamation of character against law I need help Asap have court Thursday [email protected]:00 am
The mother of my daughter passed away from suicide 10 years ago. 2 years before that, we where to attend Mediation and then she moved away. I found out by Facebook she had passed away. So as a Father who loves there child, I went to court to get visitation access. When I had gone to court, my ex- girlfriends family, would accuss me of assaulting her, accused me of going to jail for numerous assaults, called me a murderer, responsible for her death,(all of which is untrue) in front of the judge, lawyers. I never got visitation, because those alligations broke me and I gave up after 3 years in family court.
This happened to me. The accuser was the child’s father. He talked the judge into having the child taken away from me by the police. it was traumatizind. My baby was 7 and held onto my leg and begged the police not to take her to her father because he was really mean to her. I ran out of the house after 17 years of abuse. and because he had threatened me and ripped he cable box out of the wall . while is was watching tv with my child. I snuck out in the night and took my 7 yr old with me. He had already taken all the household money. switching his direct deposit to his own new account. I was really sick after two heart failures. He had stopped coming home, choosing instead to drink and spend any money we had on cocaine . I had no money for a lawyer to fight the charges. Even when the court and GAL found out he had lied about everything they still did not appologize or make it right. I was left with a damaged child and a teenager that hated me. I had nothing to assist me raise the youngest child and no car home or any personal possesion because he barracaded me out of my house and did not follow court orders to return my belongings. Instead he proudly burned them on a bonfire in front of the kids and left them outside to the elements. I didn’t do anything to deserve this. nor did the kids. both are emotionally scarred, as am I . The court also didn’t let me get any of did not give me child support for two +years after I gained custody. I lost everything in the divorce. After he was caught dirty with cocaine and alcohol saturating his hair follicle, he argued about how much cocaine was found in his hair and how the amount was exaggerted. Thats like being a little pregnant. He walked away and didn’t even want to see the child ever again. This tells you how much he used her as a pawn. sadly she knows it too, He still threatens me with getting custody of her. And you know he probably could knowing what he was able to do before. I have no recourse. No money, didn’t even have a car. If I was to write a book.IT WOULD BE TITLED SOME THING LIKE. They can’t do that in court ….. OH YES THEY CAN AND DID. the odds were stacked against me before I go to the courtroom that morning. I had no lawyer and I was accused of a crime. and found guilty and had to proove that all I was accused of was not true. the punishment was a near death sentence to me and that was to take my children away. especially the little one, I COULDN’T VISIT MY KIDS. even after given visitation. He violated every order. The GAL would come into court and say that everything was fine. She told me that she would rather have the kids with him in a homeless shelter that let me have custody. I did nothing. I have never hurt my kids or committed a crime. This happened in HENNEPIN COUNTY MN. This man was so abusive to me and the kids, after years I am still afraid and have night terrors. I have always been a great mother and did not deserve this. He did this because he lost control of me when i left and was determined to punish me and get his revenge. If there is anyone out there who can help me get justice for me and my children. Please email me [email protected]. I have so much evidence against him and have tried so hard to get justice in the past years and he still has the power over us because he continues to deceive the courts and pay little to no child support and has never has even been corrected or called to answer why he lied to the court under oath and made our life hell. He ruined our lives. Please help me if there is anyone that can. i am a still a single parent living off disability. the Judge was Laurie J Miller and the GAL was the infamous Susan Olson.
The more I read the more frustrated I get. I was falsely accused and lost everything trying to prove my innocence. I was even forced to move out of state which he predicted. NO KIDDING, it couldn’t be because he denied me visitation when I was given it and he isolated me from everyone and i was disabled and not able to afford an apartment without alimony that he was ordered to pay and didn’t . what else was I supposed to do. I had no furniture or toys. I had no towels or forks and spoons. I had no car. He had two and cut the brakes on mine ruining it. the judge gave me visitation but he would pull her out of school before I picked her up in a borrowed car. He filibustered the court so nothing would get resolved. More money. He had a lawyer, I didn’t . The courl order was from early july for visitation but the judge didn’t even file it until late september. In the meantime when he refused me to visit he told the police that i was not allowed to see them per the last order and I was not allowed to take the children.
The GAL did nothing to help me see my kids. She wouldn’t even answer my emails or phone calls. There is no defense attorney assigned when you have been accused of being a drug addict, neglectful mother. I was accused prosecuted and sent to( jail )in my empty apartment with a punishment of not being able to see my kids and know that they were safe for 3 months. They weren’t safe. My older child was made to be the mother of the 7 year old because he was on cocaine and high all the time. She ran away and couch surfed for over two years. There is no recourse. There is no such thing as perjury!! There is no justice at all in the Hennepin INjustice center. I have seen the system work beautifully in other state courts. GAL’s that care. Crazy ass fathers accusing mothers of unspeakable things getting thrown out of court. It doesnt’ have to be this way. Judge Laurie Miler may be book smart but she is dumb as a stump when it comes to real life. Her bad decisions altered my life permanently and unfortunately as much as I have tried to get justice. there is none, I proved every accusation against me false. I didn’t abuse drugs. I was the sole caretaker. I took the kids o all of their events and dr. dentists appointments. I took care of them when they were sick or wounded. I have never been arrested. My ex was allowed to testify that I was crazy ,, manic depressive., neglectful. I didn’t get my child to school and she was going to fail. So the focus was shifted to I was going to move out of state. He made sure that eventually happened because I had no friends, no family in the state, no one to turn to. No money because I was seriously sick with Heart failure. for those who know about /Chf, I was recovering from 15% ejection fraction. I was so beat down from his abuse and the constant chaos he created that I mentally was worn down. My kids were being turned against me and told him whatever they thought he wanted to hear. They were not allowed to talk about me, They were told that I was a slut and left him for another man. They were survivors. They said whatever they needed to say to stay out of harms way. They did what they were told. After all they found out very early that if hey said they wanted to see me or missed me they were punished and it didn’t get them anywhere. To tell anyone was futile because they were going to be sent home to him. SAD. Treated like a common criminal on house arrest without the privilege of a lawyer or any investigator, to find the truth. And found guilty and punished without a trial or even the benefit of the doubt. I really would like to know what I was expected to bring into court that day after memorial day to prove that I wasn’t manic depressive, abusing drugs and neglectful to my children. My ex was a convicted felon, had his drivers license suspended, was the only one working at the time. The gas was shut off, our house was going into foreclosure due to the fact he didn’t make payments, the truck had been repo’d. The association was foreclosing on us. And we had to file for bankruptcy for the second time in 8 years. HE had lost his job. I had left and went to cornerstone shelter, got a restraining order and returned to the house to find he had removed all the tv;s and things of value And at that time spoke to the police that were already at the house. I explained he was violent and I had to leave the previous night. they were so concerned that my little girl missed a day at school they missed everything else.
Does this point to a household that has someone with a drug /drinking issue and violence. NOOOOOOOOOOOO. In court I stood there alone listening to my ex and his lawyer tell me that I was a drug addict and manic depressive, I may or may not be on medication at this time. My husband even said I was fat. I am far from it and he is obese. I was sick with heart failure and he did not stay thru sickness and health. He wouldn’t even get me my scrips and pay for them that were keeping me alive. He raised my life insurance from 60k to 300k. He was never home. This man raped me two weeks after I gave birth to his child. I had complications also , He was so drunk, I did slip on a condom but he was so rough he actually broke the condom. I had to dig it out after he was done. He split all my stitches. He beat me black and blue. He financially controlled everythng. He ran over my foot. and all of this I would put up with for a minute if I could erase all the emotional abuse he put us all thru. He kept me under control by telling me what he did to his last girlfriend and got away with it. He terrorized all of us in the car. He did not let me sleep. I still wear sun glasses to sleep, What in the hell did this judge and GAL get trained in. It was very obvious o others that my ex was an asshole and abuse and I could n’t get our from under his control especially since I had no vehicle most of the time and no money even for food. I had to get a ride to the food shelf. WHY WAS HE ABLE TO HAVE MY BABY TAKEN AWAY FROM ME WITH FALSE ALLEGATIONS YET AFTER HE WAS CAUGHT WITH SO MUCH COCAINE IN HIS HAIR FOLLICLE IT WAS DEEMED DAILY USE. I STILL DIDN’T GET MY KIDS BACK. THEY KNEW HE LIED. THEY SAID HE LIED IN COURT. WROTE LETTERS HE LIED. THE COURT APPOINTED EVALUATOR SAID HE WAS A LIAR. YET I COULDN’T GET CPS TO REMOVE THE KIDS WITH ALL THESE REPORTS, ACTUAL PROOF. THE COURTS LET HIM HAVE THE KIDS FOR 4.5 MORE MONTHS. THAT IS HENNEPIN COUNTY FAMILY INJUSTICE. I HATE THEM ALL. IF ALL THREE OF THEM, MY EX LON VANCE HALL., JUDGE LAURIE J MILLER AND ESPECIALLY THAT SHORT LITTLE ARROGANT BITCH SUSAN OLSON SHOULD GET HIT BY A BUS, I WOULD FIND THEIR GRAVES AND DANCE ON THEM. THANKS FOR LETTING ME VOICE MY SITUATION. i WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS INJUSTICE BECAUSE HE IS STILL GETTING AWAY WITH NOT PAYING SUPPORT AND i HAVE MY MINOR 100% of the time and he has never paid the money he was ordered to pay.
Anyone that knows lon vance hall age 61 that used to work for comcast cable and knows his current address could you please contact me with that address. he has went missing again. Thanks and the best of luck to everyone. Hang in there,,At least I have my children now. Not by any help by hennepin courts but because he couldn’t stop doing cocaine,
you might also note that the sort of allegations you are referring to are sometimes encouraged or directed by attorneys, and that they work a lot better when women make them.
Here is a summary and analysis of research related to false allegations during custody battles:
https://sites.google.com/site/centralohiopa/false-allegations-in-parental-alienation-1
Thank you so much for this link! I am researching for my daughter who lost my grandaughter to an alcoholic liar and needs to get her out of that home before she ends up pregnant and delinquent.
Hi, I am so overwhelmed by all the stories I read! I am going thru the same as my daughters father is stating that because of my job, I can’t be a good parent! That I work long hours and my daughter deserves to have a present parent not an abscent one. He doesn’t have a steady job, I do. He is illegal in the US so getting good jobs is not available so he works in restaurants. I work as a trainer for a luxury company and have been in this industry for over 5 yrs. got health insurance and life insurance for both my kid and I, live in a great area with an amazing school district and he’s fighting to keep my daughter giving me every other weekend and two days a week.. I feel that I am dreaming here! So besides these allegations he also accused me of not being involved in my daughters life because of my career..
This is horrible and it happens ALL the time. The parent that makes the false allegations NEVER has to face any consequences. By the time the allegations are proven false the court generally thinks that since the children have been with the accuser for so long it would be disruptive to put them with the other parent. There is ZERO support for the falsely accused! In my situation the children eventually called their mother out on her lies and moved in with me. Victory? No, I now have custody of damaged children who hate their mother. It is a sad situation. You need to keep your sanity and your strength to be there for your children when they realize what is going on.
This is exactly what happened in my case. After many years of abuse, One night he got particularly angry and I knew it wasn’t going to go well. I grabbed my little girl and left out the back door. I went to a shelter and got a restraining order for both of us. However he was able to track us down, by illegal means and had convinced a judge to take away my youngest (just 7) daughter due to the false allegations. He stated I was a drug addict, and neglected the children. Fat and lazy. I am not overweight and actually he was. He also said I was manic depressive and may or maynot be on medication.
I was just trying to stay alive after having two heart failures. I was at “end stage ” 15% ejection fraction and was not supposed to exert myself at all. I was so sick and knew that the abuse I was going thru would be the end of my life. Leaving my daughters to be abused and without my protection. The kids call me mama bear. He was able to get custody of both girls and I actually had to have a supervisor to see them. He would always take the girls away when it was my visitation time. The Hennepin County MN GAL did not listen when I complained that I was not getting visitation. Nor would she take any of my evidence that I was a great mom, primary care taker and never missed a school event or parent teacher conference. I was involved with my kids sports and science activities. I tried to be the best mom ever. She even refused all affidavits from my ex husband, or my daughter from my first marriage who was an adult. She was witness to all of the abuse. At hearings he would filibuster the court hearings with nonsense and waste time. I would ask to speak and be told I would get my turn. That never happened. We would always run out of time.I had no money because I was completely unable to work. He knew this. He made over 100k annually in 2009. He had cut off any family money for a year before I left. Raised my life insurance and had his pay directly deposited into his own new account. While he was having luncheons with clients and showering at the company’s facilities, then going out using cocaine and alcohol after work. We three were at home without hot water , gas for our stove and heat for the house. The house that I paid on for 17 years went into foreclosure. The truck was repo’d. I did get that back, only to lose it in the divorce. After he was able to gain custody with the allegations. I was not allowed to watch my daughter during the day. She went to a girls house that was arrested twice and smoked. They also had a vicious dog that has since been put down for biting . It was a nightmare. I sat in my empty apartment by myself for three months, with my blow up mattress and TV tray that I got from walmart. NO car, because he fixed the brakes and destroyed the front end. And yes, I did crash because of this, with the little one in the car. and although I was awarded visitation on July 8th the order was not written until September 29th. By then I had completely lost all hope. I had no more money to live on, I was not getting visitation and couldn’t enforce it because I didn’t have any order to show the police. He had long before got rid of any friends and my family lived far away. I eventually was forced to move out of state. BTW one of his allegations was that I was going to run off with the youngest. I moved back east where I was from, to a friends house. I recorded the over the phone custody hearing. The judge remarked three times that she couldn’t believe I gave up fighting for custody. It infuriates me to this day. I got totally screwed by the system. I finally, at the last minute in one of the hearings stated that I wanted a Hair follicle test. I knew he was able to beat the UA, as most addicts are. Despite his efforts in shaving all his hair off his body. They got a sample and It turned out that he was a long term daily user of cocaine and there was also high levels of Cocaethylene meaning he was also an alcoholic. There were no consequences for him. To this day continues to win in court with eluding child support. I have to live off of Disability. AND it took 4 months after he was caught dirty until I finally got custody of the youngest. Since that time, HE HAS NEVER CALLED OR VISITED. He sends no birthday cards or Christmas gifts. He eluded child support by falsifying a driver’s license and still to this day has not paid the over 15000.00 awarded to me. I can’t enforce it. I just can’t believe this happened to me. I am a very loving mother and have never harmed my children. They are very loving girls and refuse any contact with him. Not that he has tried. It truly makes me sad to know that the girls are aware that their father did not want them at all. He just wanted to punish me. I can’t even imagine how that must feel. I would like to sue the county. Has anyone ever successfully done this? Has anyone ever sued a GAL? ARE there any recourse that anyone knows about ? Please email me and let me know. I have all the proof and more that this happened. Thank you for your support. I hope that everyone’s children are safe and loved. No one wins in a divorce. BUT most definitely the children ALWAYS lose. Lisa
I am going through this terrible ordeal. Everything that is said in this article is true. My ex made tremendous fake accusations 8n court, saying he never seen the kids, that we were married, that I supposingly lived out of state. Him, his mother and girl friend literally made false phone call to cyfd. I have a restraining order on him. And he still finds out where I live stalking and harrassing me and the cops wouldn’t do anything.
This article is nothing but the whole truth since we are experiencing this with my brother, the mother is a monster and is damaging the kids lives, she put my brother in jail because of false allegations of child lewdness and trained the kids very well on what to tell police about their dad when they interview them, well fair enough my brother was arrested 3 weeks ago under false allegations and now the kids are saying that their dad doesn’t deserve this that he is a great person and they never thought this was going to end like this. They just want their dad out and they have been telling social workers that they lied but cps is not doing anything about it. My brother is suffering behind bars because of a disgruntled person. I hope everything comes to light soon and my brother is freed because even though they show him the kids false statements he says he still loves them and is staying strong for them.
I’m entrenched in a fld, and I’m not giving in and I’m not holding back. Let God’s will be done but fight like like hell for the children and got yourself. Take the high road if possible. This fld has been sucking the joy from my life and my children’s lives and I’ve sekdon known hate like this and have never know it for someone I once shared relation and a bed with.
Live well
OK……..??? Now what?? You just described my scenario, at about 40% severity. Now what can I do about this hell?
I am.going through a very difficult time right now with a false emergency protective order filed on me just so I’m not able to see my daughter. Her mother filed it on me and now I have to go to court to prove what she’s saying is false and she’s doing it all to hurt me and.doesnt think about what it’s doing to our daughter. I’m lost and don’t know what to do , I need my daughter in my life
Hi Dom, sorry to hear about your situation. My advice to you is Do NOT violate that restraining order in any way, that’s #1. It will hurt you later when it comes to getting time with your daughter. As hard as it is going to be you must do your best in court to keep emotion out of it and concentrate on the child. For example instead of you need your daughter in your life, your daughter needs a dad. All the chips are stacked against you. Your best chance is hiring a lawyer. If like me you can’t afford one it’s not likely your voice will be heard in court. Do your best to be there for your child. Document EVERY issue your ex throws at you and over time you will have gathered enough evidence to prove a pattern of behavior detrimental to best interests of child. For now go to court, and concentrate on best interests of child. How not having both parents is harmful etc… Do your best to gain Equal parenting time. Don’t try to gain full custody like she is even if it really would be better. I know your pain. I haven’t seen my daughter in over 5 months after going from everyday to supervised visits 2hrs a week. Custody hearing coming up for me next week… Best of luck to both of our daughters
First to start. I’m a mother of 6 kids. Three from previous marriage. Which was a very abusive relationship and nightmare. I finally get up the courage and leave. Went to court for custody and felt bad for some reason and settled with I got primary custody. I guess he couldn’t take me leaving and had me in and out of court every other month. I moved right over the border to Ohio from pennsylvania. 20-30 min at tops to drive back and forth. Which I asked my ex if Ohio was ok few months before and he said ok but before I knew it I was going back to court for emergency custody due to me crossing over state lines. Long story short..I lost and he got primary custody with me only getting wkends. None of it seemed fair. My heart broke and nothing I could do to change it. After few months went by and I tried very hard to just deal with it….I was right back in court again and again. Over false accusations that I’m on drugs, not responsible and so. Once again judge favors with him again with no evidence or proof. Finally judge orders supervised visits. Which I do just to see my kids. It was hard and I fought with everything in me to get some rights back. I took parenting classes did everything possible. After all the struggle I finally get wkend custody back and I’m so happy. By this time in my life it’s been 3 years. I have two more kids and husband. I’m working full time. I worked a lot of thirds and had a girlfriend watch the kids if I worked wkends because my husband also worked third. Couple months after getting my custody back I’m getting a call from my attorney saying that my custody is being taken again because of abuse. The story changed on there side many times once again no evidence and he won again like some freaking game. Which kids are never a game or possession. I fought for several months and no visits or calls aloud to my kids. As time went on my family was slowly picked off from my kids life because he wanted the memory of me or my family gone. First of all I’ve got a lot of very respected family. Which is wrong. And why do the courts and system not see this. How many more parents will go thru this????? How many more children will be ripped from their parents because the ex spouse can’t control them anymore. More people need to stand up and fight back. Its not write that children and the allinated parent has to go thru so much pain, guilt, loss, and sometimes death because they can’t bare the pain no more. I believe in God and know he is real and times have stopped my self from yelling why God ?why?. You get to a point there is no longer any control over it and then the waiting game comes into play. THEY WILL BE 18 ONE DAY…I’m not a bad mom I have 3 wonderful kids that live with me and are happy good kids. Two are on honor roll
Rachael, I hear ya. I don’t like what I hear. I wish I had a magic wand and could make it all go your way.
It sounds like me. I had not where to go, because I was homeless. He had got rid of all my friends and pushed away my family. so I had to move to another state. From MN to VA. I DID finally get custody. So don’t lose hope. Keep fighting for your kids …. Cause even if you don’t win. They will know that you fought for them. Kids become adults that and can decide for themselves. My oldest daughter had ended up coming into my life after she became an adult. She doesn’t talk to him, and RESENTS her father, for keeping her from her mother. She knows now , what he told her and did was wrong, selfish and didn’t show his love for her at all, by keeping her from me. … Because lies never make sense, even in a kids head. …..Because they always blame themselves, for all of the parents problems, you need to hang on, to whatever you have,
I find myself forwarding this article time and again in effort to make people understand what happened to me. I could get over this, for the most part, if the court would ever admit their part of the problem, by not handling the case, and no following up on and screwing up the facts. They will not admit their mistakes. Hennepin County family “in”Justice Courts and Guardian ad Litem, Susan Olson and Hennepin County Child Support can’t seem to admit that they 100% facilitated a desperate drug addicted and alcoholic man that was losing control of his life.He had lost control of his addictions, lost his job, was losing his house and was losing his family due to his actions. Nope. They helped him take the kids and keep them to abuse and not let their mother see them, for over a year and a half. UNTIL I BEGGED THE COURT for a hair follicle test.
Just Stating to the court, in an affidavit, as a “He said “, was enough for a judge to sign a order, to have the police take my child of 7yrs old, from my custody.Just two days after I ran from the home to a shelter due to domestic abuse. it was the memorial weekend, my birthday. two days later…He was given 100% custody him the entire household and it’s possessions by the court. I was homeless. and found that not only was I not given the chance to explain, I wasn’t even given time to defend myself. Yet to defend myself I had to prove I didn’t do, what “he said”. When I tried to defend myself. Then it was called a “He said – she said”and they gave no merit, to my side of the story or would read affidavits about my mothering , even from my ex husband and adult daughter, that I raised with him. How exactly does a person prove that they didn’t do things? I was a criminal that was convicted without as much as an interview by a judge Guardian ad Litem SUSAN OLSON or even a social worker. There was my abuser, sticking it to me again with the help of the courts. Laughing his way all the way thru. Judge Laurie J Miller of 4th circuit court in Hennepin County, MN. You were a lousy family judge. And you have ruined a big chunk of my and my childrens lives. You have never conceded that you made a mistake. Never tried to fix the problem. The children paid for it dearly. How do you sleep at night? You let him run you around by your nose. I have even tried to fix this mess over and over and they blow me off. Yet remember Just on his word my child was taken from me, I lost my house and all its contents. I had no vehicle for the first 6 years. Life will never be the same or even close.
We need juries of 6 or 8 people in family law court because Judges seem unable to provide equity to both parties. We also need to not tie child support to the per enrage of custody a given parent has. Doing this would greatly reduce the number of custody fights, since they are usually about money
AmEn!
The legal system is a complete joke, family courts are the biggest cash flow in the legal world… doesn’t that say it all? Those lawyers and judges should be ashamed for profiting off children and creating a generation of emotionally and mentally damaged children…
I am experiencing these awful tactic along with the retaliation of other attorney and Judges for JIC complaints and Bar Complaint. I need an attorney who will fight these allegations. When these tactic are used no one is thinking about the children except the Mother. Please provide a solution to the problem not incourage the behavior by providing ideas.
I need help now plz cps has me the father doing supervised visitation on my son that lives with me now is placed at his mom’s and wsnts to come home but cps sys he can’t. I’ve meet with the 3 times now and they still day no but no reason 4 it.
There is a grandmother that got custody of their granddaughter and the granddaughter is not living with them and she claimed them on their taxes to . I need to report it but need to know who to report it to.
I can’t seem to stop crying since I came home from the children’s court yesterday. I have 3 children 16, 14 & 10. Only my older two were taken away from me for false allegations. A Lady who I thought was my friend for over 20 years was their godmother along with her female partner. Me as a single parent accepted a lot of their invites and her helpfulness with my kids as far as them always wanting to always take them to Chuck-E-Cheese Disneyland Knott’s Berry Farm swimming extra activities things that I couldn’t afford to do. I’ve live in apartment in Central LA on Section 8 and this lady lives in a big house in Lomita with a swimming pool ( what normal person wouldn’t rather want to be over there)but I never saw anything wrong with it because it made my kids happy to be able to do those kinds of things and I was happy because my kids were happy. As time goes by I start to notice that my kids are spending more time over there than they are at home
so one day when I tell them they need to come home the Godmother decide to tell my kids they don’t have to listen to me and they don’t have to go home , she tells all three of my kids they could just live with her. In my opinion it is wrong to tell someone else’s child they don’t have to listen to their mom. This is the first time in over 20 years I’ve ever had any kind of altercation with their godmother. The Sheriff’s ended up picking up my kids from her house and brought them home. I tell my kids they are not allowed to go over there anymore because that was wrong of them to say you don’t have to listen or come home. So now I have 2 teenagers pissed off at me because they won’t be getting to do all the extras they were doing before. The Godmother who is also mad at me for calling the sheriff’s to pick my kids up from her house decides to report me to DCFS 3 times in one day. She lies and tells them that I have loaded guns in my house that I do drugs in front of my kids and that I verbally and emotionally abused only my older two kids which is a bunch of b*******. Anyways a social worker comes and interviews us and the next thing you know I have a court date. I go to court with my kids and because their godmother told my kids to use the words” you feel unsafe and unloved at home” they take only my older two and place them with my brother for one night while they do a background check on the Godmother because that’s where the kids want to go and even though it I beg them not to because she is the reason why this whole thing started and all you going to do is teach my kids to lie to get what you want. They placed my older two kids with her anyways. Now I’m only allowed to see my older two kids twice a week for 1 hour we’re not allowed to talk about anything that’s going on with court and they want me to go visit my kids with a happy smile knowing my kids just lied to get what they want while they’re laughing in my face if that ain’t mentally disturbing I don’t know what is and there’s nothing I can do. They have drug tested me three times which obviously were clean and I’ve done 10 hours of parenting classes. They give me a pointed attorney at court and this lady tells me she does not want to make it look like my kids are lying in court. I don’t understand how they can do this I’m good enough for one kid even though the last time I checked I had three kids. I love all my kids but I feel like someone just robbed me for them.
I know exactly how you feel. my story ,,,,,
Five Years
5 years as of May 6th 2016 is how long it has been since I’ve had any contact with Hannalee and Sean. I want you to imagine dropping off your children at school five years ago, then being told you’re being accused of sexual abuse to one of them. An emergency order issued by the court to suspend all parenting time put in place.
A request to appear at the Police Department to be questioned about it. Allowed to leave and then never ever hearing back from the Police, The Courts or Child Protective Services saying that no charges have been filed and the case is not being pursued. This accusation coming days after the request of the court to have joint physical custody of the children. Living with the constant fear that a knock on my door with a warrant for my arrest was inevitable. Being assaulted, raped or even murdered by other prisoners because of what they thought I was guilty of. The stigma of being arrested for a crime I did not commit, being put on a sex offenders list as well as the possibility of losing my home, income, employment was unbearable.
A relationship between parent and children severed, for no reason whatsoever except to thwart an attempt for a father to spend more time with his children.
Never being able to have a relationship with your children because you can never trust what they will say about you or be lead to accuse you of in the future.
This is the reason why I am here at this proceeding. To put an end to any ties that would legally bind me to them. I wish for them to be adopted by their stepdad making him their dad. It is abundantly clear by the actions and statement via email made by their mother that I would not be sharing custody of the children with her. Hopefully, in spite of everything they have gone through they can prosper and live their lives.
Wife falsely accused husband of being abusive despite taking full care of her and a child, not sure how to defend the false allegations to gain custody of the child. Can any one suggest how to refute such false claims.
I went through this in May 2011. Had them on the 6th of May, dropped them off at school and never saw them again. I was accused of Sexual abuse to my then 10 year old daughter 6 months prior to May 6th. Interviewed by Police and released and lost custody. They live less than 2 miles from me and I hope i never run into them in my travels. I applied for joint custody 2 weeks prior to the allegations.
This was to be read to the judge
Five Years
5 years as of May 6th 2016 is how long it has been since I’ve had any contact with Hannalee and Sean. I want you to imagine dropping off your children at school five years ago, then being told you’re being accused of sexual abuse to one of them. An emergency order issued by the court to suspend all parenting time put in place.
A request to appear at the Police Department to be questioned about it. Allowed to leave and then never ever hearing back from the Police, The Courts or Child Protective Services saying that no charges have been filed and the case is not being pursued. This accusation coming days after the request of the court to have joint physical custody of the children. Living with the constant fear that a knock on my door with a warrant for my arrest was inevitable. Being assaulted, raped or even murdered by other prisoners because of what they thought I was guilty of. The stigma of being arrested for a crime I did not commit, being put on a sex offenders list as well as the possibility of losing my home, income, employment was unbearable.
A relationship between parent and children severed, for no reason whatsoever except to thwart an attempt for a father to spend more time with his children.
Never being able to have a relationship with your children because you can never trust what they will say about you or be lead to accuse you of in the future.
This is the reason why I am here at this proceeding. To put an end to any ties that would legally bind me to them. I wish for them to be adopted by their stepdad making him their dad. It is abundantly clear by the actions and statement via email made by their mother that I would not be sharing custody of the children with her. Hopefully, in spite of everything they have gone through they can prosper and live their lives.
I desperately need some guidance and or help with this. My ex has threatened me since i was pregnant that if we ever split he would take my son from me. In 2016 we split after having a argument in the car , he kicked myself and my daughter out of the car and drove off with my son. Whom at the time was 18 months old . 3 weeks later i had followed him after getting a private investigator involved , from his house to the school he had inrolled my son in, and had waited for him to leave the school and waited a hour. Went in the school and told them i was the mother and that i was taking my son. After big arguments i took my son and left. (He had takem my son for 3 weeks would nt answer my calls or let me know where my baby was for 3 weeks ) courts could do and did nothing.
We went to high court after his father applied for a urgent application to have my son stay with him full time court said no.
December 2016 he did it again. This time i got a intrim protection order for my son to be returned immediately, however if you dont know where the father is you cannot deliver it him. I what sapped him and emailed the order to his attorneys and 22 days later my son was returreturned , we went to court and i was named primary residence and son stayed with me but he did get to see his father ever weekend.
Latest abuse now is that my son since he was 10 months old suffers from chronic constipation and fecal impaction. That in itself gives a child fissure tears. Regardless his father has now opened up a case of sexual abuse against me and my partner. A j88 confirmed this but on me going to the teddy bear clinic 5 days after case was opened asked if they where aware of his constipation and impaction problem . They responded to say the father failed to mention it and that it was roo late as the j88 had already been reported ….. my issue is that i have lost both kids now until ” investigation is complete ” and i get 2 hour supervised visitation. It has been 9 weeks and i have seen my son once of which he begged me to take him home but i had to release him. I have been in high court 3 times and magistrates countless times. I am being told that i cannot see my son as i am apparently a drug addict( done 5 tests all negative thus far ) never been one. That i allowed my son to be raped and that he is neglected and i wont get my son back till investigations are done. The courts have not taken his medical history into account as its proven that children that suffer from chronic constipation and fecal impaction show the exact characteristics as that of a sexualy abused child. No one will listen or take this into considerantion lawyers have cost me 67k thus far and i have nothing left. My son is 3 turning 4 in July. Teddy bear clinic are wrong as the process of taking a child there should be taken with the social worker or police officer and it was not done like this his father took him. He is being coached and i am so scared. Please someone help me
I am the out of state paternal grandmother who is witnessing this exactly. The whole paternal family has lost access (informing my grandchildren that Bigfoot lives in PA, I won’t ever see my Mommy if I go to PA) and the children are actually afraid not to go along. What “loving parent” uses their children’s need for security as a scare tactic so they will collude against the father? Also services meant to protect undermined by those who abuse the program as a way to keep children from parent as punishment. What is the solution when you’ve exhausted all funds but the “battle” isn’t over? And still no children? Children have enough love for everybody!!!
Hello.i am in this exact situation.my ex left me 4 yrs ago.he is married to a woman that is my daughters step mom.my ex has custody of my daughter.the step mom is claiming my daughter as her own.and i have a visit with my daughter twice a week.my ex.his wife.myself and my mom are there.the step mom puts everything wrong i do,what i say.what goes on during the visits.she puts this on youtube.twitter.facebook and tumbler..my mom helps my ex with false accusations i didnt do.i need some advice.thank you
who can I talk about i know my ex-boyfriend liad in coutroom just to get custody of my child and I can prove it
This is happening to me right now 🙁
My ex-husband has made such allegations that are so out rages and out of this world that I cannot afford to pay my lawyer do you $2500 she was requesting to finish my case that was already finish last year. He has some kind of nut job attorney who invented 20 different allegations of about me and only one is correct. Therefore I have to represent myself in court unless I can find a pro bono lawyer in the next two weeks and I don’t think that’s going to happen. So I am going to lose my kids who are 12 and 14 to an ex-husband who doesn’t even want him who is simply doing this for spite and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
wow i am so sorry prayers for all our family going thru the false allegation thing too even after an extensive investigation it was unfounded .. my sons ex went to another county an filed same thing again its been a mental an financial nightmare!!!
Everything you have spoken about hapoened to me 3/16/2017 on to of finding out he judge was bias. My daughter not only taken from me but the case was used to benefit the new girlfriend case because her kids were taken from the home he and I once shared because he was yelling at them. The judge knew that he and girl were together so the judge had my daughter live with her dad and the new gf and her kids and I wasn’t able to see or speak to my daughter for 2 months. He has violated the custody order so many times and nothing happen. Yet he lied and made a false police report and later I was arrested in front of my daughter at her soccer game which he wasn’t to attend because it was my weekend with our daughter which was a violation. He’s allowing the gf to parent my daughter and why is my daughter around her being she lost custody of her kids
This is very good article. There are many people who believe things of this nature do not happen, and do not understand how easily it can happen. I am from Texas, and this epidemic of false allegations in the county where I live is monstrous. It touched me personally when my son was indicted, and convicted of continuous sexual assault after he was granted joint custody of his daughters. His wife went to the extreme to make sure he could have no say in who she had their daughters around. But this is so much larger than my son. He has been incarcerated for 2 years now, and his direct appeal was just denied. During the time he has been in, there have been a number of men come in with similar charges and circumstances. It has got to be stopped. In Texas, there is a Code of Criminal Procedure 38 that basically says that if a child says you did it, you did it. And there does not have to be any solid forensic evidence to prove it. Throw in a corrupt court and officials and the accused does not have a chance. I am in the process of reaching out to others that are dealing with this and want to work to change the laws. It will not be easy and will require a lot of patience and talking to get anyone to listen. But it has to be changed.
My sons mother has alienated him from me all his life. She even made false claims my son had Cerebral palsy and when I
brought medical records to show proof she was lying nothing was done and still Texas court favors her. She can not keep a stable home for my son, she has a warrant for her arrest in another state and even family members on her side of family have history of violence which has been a big concern to me but still all favors are on her. I am trying to find a lawyer with experience
in these type of cases . last lawyer did nothing and left me in $3000 debt. Texas laws are so unfair they say they are looking for what is best for a child but that is all a lie. as of now my son has no place to call home because he is being bounced around from house to house . His mother has nothing under her name and is always moving because she has warrants on her.
Any advise?
Our legal system is the most elite maybe in the world but there is no justice. It is a business and in Canton, Massachusetts and Salem,Massachusetts, 2 judges have ruined more women and children for their profit. They will never get the sentence they deserve.
I hope this will help at least one person. From everything I’ve read and from what I’m now experiencing I have one piece of advice to the honest, respectful and moral people who know it is inevitable their situation is headed to a child custody case. DO NOT PROCRASTINATE OR HOLD OFF ON FILING. We have all considered and wanted to file but don’t because we aren’t the trouble makers or the drama side of the relationship. We don’t want to act like or look like a bad person by taking our partners to court for custody. I was as stupid as the rest. I had been thinking about doing if for a couple of months, had consulted with a couple of lawyers because I knew it was going to happen. Pay attention to what everyone has said happened to them. There is one common denominator in all our stories. We did not file for custody first. We all got served. The court is so biased and narrow minded that they think the person who files first is the victim and they did so because the felt they had to get themselves and their family out of danger. Its the liars, the cheaters, the manipulators, the heartless people who only think of themselves and want to screw the others and put them through hell that file first and the court believes everything they say. Not a single one of them has any actual proof or documentation proving anything they say. Its the one that has the evidence, the one that has at least one thing showing everything they say can be backed up and proven We are the actual victims. The court thinks we must be guilty and have something to hide
I would please like to talk to the person that wrote this. My case is the worst case that you will hear. My ex went to the extreme to kick me out of the kids life. She did not care about the kids. My son 5 year old son said he wanted to kill himself. I tried to get him help but she blocked me. In court she said she would rather have the money then the kids haave a relationship with me
i am in over 5 years hug custody battle 42,000. $$$ dept , i am unfit for my youngest daughter but fit for my other 2 children, i am just now getting 42$$$ in child support ……….. my daughter name has been changed 3 time in multiple county, i will not stop ever …. i eat breath and shit for my kids…… the presumed father of my youngest is now being sued by his insurance company for providing for his children…. been throne on welfare and have lost all my rights as a mother, women and human …… i have contact everyone and will continue, if anyone has anything please. also passed sic test and all drug text so rule tho out……there will be change we r voices every body should have faith in our system
This is what is going on now with my daughters baby , from the time the baby was 9 weeks old ! Because his family work in family court he gets share right and unsupervised the baby is zero months she is a new born she needs her mother ! his parents but my daughter’s baby for their selves because they can never have a little girl baby is now crying all the time when coming home confused and when it’s time for my daughter to take her to the police station to meet ex-boyfriend The baby cries for three hours that’s right he gets there for three hours Monday Wednesday Friday from 5 PM to 7 AM that’s right a six-month-old baby and Sunday 10 AM to 4 PM and where is the mothers rights
I am the parent who is innocent. It’s been 5 years & I haven’t even heard my kids voices! For 12 years it was them & I until my ex filed bull that I have proof was a lie. But I’m disabled & now lost everything! I can’t find anyone to help me because I have no money. Yet the courthouse said I can’t win without a lawyer. I don’t know what to do, I was never even served plus he forged my signature! Please I’m begging can anyone help me? I don’t care about custody I just want to see my kids! I don’t care about revenge or hurting their father either. My health is going downhill fast, my kids could have questions that will never be answered if I can’t find them. They deserve to know I didn’t leave them. All 3 of us deserve justice. I’m in Colorado & have tried over 450 lawyers, the president, talk shows, news stations I’m so lost please any help at all…
This is happening to me right now. it’s very heartbreaking for a mother or father that our good parents see there child be put through this. I hope all the parents who post on here really are good parents because children really are a special gift I cry every day missing my daughter I did nothing wrong.
My son is 16 months old. I am not a stereotypical father – I do both mommy and daddy duties. Obviously, because I love him but ultimately because my girlfriend, his mother, is bipolar major depressant. She gets upset over anything, becomes irrational, cannot speak, finds a corner and remains there crying no matter what is said or done to comfort her. So when mommy is manic daddy makes sure she has the space she needs to calm down and more importantly I make sure my son is clear of her dramatic outbursts and that he does not rely on such an unstable person for his care. Children need a stable person for a parent who knows that no matter how upset or angry they are about something happening in life – that the child does not deserve to be neglected, yelled at, exposed to a loud and irate person or made to feel as if it is their fault. A real parent puts their emotions aside and smiles big for their child. As a father, and with the knowledge that I am really the only level-headed parent he has, I have raised my son since the moment he opened his eyes virtually on my own.
Recently my unstable girlfriend who hasn’t worked or attempted work in at least 12 years, taking advantage of welfare services, decided one day to leave me – and her son – at 430 in the morning.
She later emerged with police, a temp restraining order and an order to remove the child from his home and given to her under the pretense of emergency custody.
She lied her cute little butt off and claimed domestic violence in the form of harassment. She also claimed that I abuse heroin and Xanax and was intoxicated trying to physically stop her from leaving that night.
Nothing can be further from the truth.
She’s smart. She lied about domestic violence in order to get shelter, housing, help with an apartment – the whole nine yards. I’ve secured counsel and am confident that bc I have the truth on.my & texts and messages from the following hours after she left that show my concern for her wellbeing and for the emotional fallout my son would suffer from his mother being gone in the morning. She cusses me and basically just acts irrational and manic as I attempt to assure her I wouldn’t deprive him of her or her of him. My messages show s level-headed father concerned for these things. Even as I am being cussed and threatened with things getting ugly, and that she is coming for the boy and I can’t stop her blah blah. Well, she wasn’t kidding. The police via order of a judge came and removed my son at gunpoint from his primary caregiver and essentially gave him to an unstable glorified babysitter.
She is lying about everything and doing everything she can to not get a job and work like the rest of us do to achieve our goals.
She’s taking advantage of an NJ law I think called prevention of domestic violence act.
Does anyone have any advice for me, anything that might help me? Anyone have any of their own stories from which I can draw wisdom? I know I am in for a battle bc I’m a father and we are discriminated against as if we are incapable of nurturing a child – I beg to differ. My son is only 16 months. He is loving, giving, extremely smart and I have done it mostly on my own. She just gives him a Binky and puts him in front of the TV. It’s sick. This whole thing is killing me I haven’t seen him in11 days and I’ve lost 18 lbs in That time. Dyfs is involved doing an investigation. I am just getting f:Ed from all ways … Think of this beautiful child and please if anyone Has anything that might help me floating around in their head, please. Jim
This is in NJ FYI
Hey Jim.
I am in NJ and been in a mess for a year. You are in a battle and they system in NJ is stacked against fathers in NJ. What count are you in. I have had a bad year and did not react very well, I found PASA a support group. I know it sounds goofy but it has helped me and given me a much more patient and wide view. I was like you with my 9 and 7 year old daughters. they say mine is the worst case of alienation that anyone has seen.
You wrote this in June. Any updates? If you reply and wanna talk offline, I am good with that. My divorce is in Union county. I live in Jersey City now but we lived in Union when filed for divorce
Whoever has the best lies wins in family court and being an honest levelheaded dude is putting me behind the mark… My son is sacred and if I can’t get justice in thd courts… Then there will be a more primitive form. My son will not br raised by these ppl. He is not safe and deserves better.
“But what about the children?”
That’s a great point that you raise, but I can tell that you have not done your research and I can characterize you as an attorney deeply steeped in legal opinion even without glancing at your credentials. I hope at least you have anecdotal evidence from your practice of the overwhelming cases that have been false accusations?
Does “accusing” your soon to be ex really level the “playing field”? First of all, the parent is not the one accusing the ex or soon to be ex of anything. All too often,credible evidence of molestation is brushed under the rug and the protective parent is demonized and loses custody or visitation. What is the converse is true…would you be willing to bet your life that there is no abuse due to the rhetoric of your client? Gee…if he or she said that they didn’t molest or abuse their child (even though the child has said it to plenty of people) it must be true! The ex-wife or ex-husband must be making all of this up and btw let’s use PAL as the reason why the alleged abuser should spend their visiting time grooming the child.
What Family Courts tend to do when there is suspected child abuse in a divorce case is to remove the child from the protective parent and place them with the abusive parent (most often the parent who has the most money.)
Several studies have shown that children rarely make false disclosures.
This is an epidemic that needs to have awareness as it has a high consequences for the child as you so astutely observe in your article.
Please see below references:
https://www.abc10.com/video/news/local/abc10-originals/the-problem-with-family-court/103-8130301
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/index.html
Someone please help. Me Dcf took my children from in 2015 and placed them fostercare my daughter was 16 @ the time the foster parent husband is convicted murderer the 19 year old son had felony sexual assault. He eventually got my daughter pregnant and later when she had the baby he killed them both. I had gotten my childern bk. But they found out I was suing and made false allegations and took my children again. At the time I was in Las Vegas but the case is in Florida after my daughter and grandson funeral I left with the judge’s permission but my 15 year old is so strong out on drugs and violent. He ran away and then told them I beat him. But investigators found me to be innocent state of Nevada they Still took my kids Florida and trying to put them up for adoption…please someone tell what I can do?
What if the allegations are not false and because there is a civil family matter a four year old is lost in the middle? Loca dcf believes there is coaching even almost a year of thearpy and doctors visits with utis severe abdominal pain and anal hemorrhages the list keeps growing. Multiple dcf claims from therapist and even visits descriptions of what my daughter claims is happening to her by her father. But again because there’s this family court side those whom could help me protect her would rather say I am coaching or potentially leading her to these. What can I do ?!?!
DCF
My daughter which has three kids and now single and only working adult in her home has had DCF at her house 4 times and the end result in all were NO FINDINGS. I spend alot time with me grandchildren simply cause they make me laugh. They are innocent children that didn’t ask for all this craziness. Their father that has not won the Father Award and his wife, and his mother has called DCF on my daughter. Now I am looking into taking recourse for false accusations. This all stem back to child support. He doesn’t want to pay back child support or current. He’s been arrest for drugs and lost his license several time for several reasons. Really never had or could hold a job. Meanwhile, my daughter is killing herself to provide for the kids. She takes them to school and picks them up. I have a full time career and the office is about a hour away from their school and I also pick them up myself. From the day they were born – they have not gotten a christmas gift from their father or birthday gift. My daughter can’t afford much – So I have made everyone of their Christmas super special for them. His wife text my daughter telling her if she puts her hands on her child one more time she going to my daughter in jail. We had a counselor come and check my grandaughter and their wasn’t any markings on her and my grandaughter told them that her dads wife was making up stories. The extend that these trashing people would go thru amazes me. I’m up for a good fight for what’s right. I’m a true old fashion gramma and both of my daughter are great moms and if they weren’t I take the kids away from therm myself. Like I say – Children are innocent human beans that did not ask to come here and suffer.
Good luck to you all
Gramma
My wife has been doing a lot of drugs, and the other night she flipped out, call nine-one-one four times in beg to come and look at the children. The house was a mess, and my wife had not done it hardly anything to clean the house, and CPS saw that the children were dirty and made an allegation of neglect. Once my wife got to the emergency room and the found out the fact that she hadn’t slept for 5 days, she started making any and all other allegations that she could possibly come up with off the top of her head. She’s kicked me out of my house, I’m staying in the van, but because the van is in her name she may try to take it from me at any moment. I’ve taken all of the Firearms out of the house because I don’t trust her with them, and the only thing I have is a few electronics my work clothes and my boots. Now she’s claiming that she wants to file for sexual assault. Something that was never a part of the CPS ruling.
I will happily admit my fault, because I should have gotten up and cleaned everything that she wasn’t cleaning, and I will happily admit that I have had some wrong in this, but she’s been on drugs for 8 days now, no sleep, wandering the streets, she cleaned out the bank account, and she’s telling anybody that will listen how I’ve been to jail which didn’t happen, how I beat her which never happened, and now she’s making up a story that I touched one of our infant daughters which never happened.
Once all of this is done, once she’s been proven to be the drug out skank that she’s proven herself to be, I will be suing for defamation. I’ve already told her that I do not wish to hear from her unless it is about legal proceedings, because she was calling me and demanding furiously that I do not take the van, that I was expected to walk 35 miles to work.
I don’t know what I did to this woman, but I don’t know why I didn’t see the signs, I don’t know when she started doing whatever drugs she’s on, but I don’t do drugs, I’ve requested multiple times that CPS do a drug screen on me, as I am the only person that will pass with flying colors. I have a job that requires that I have a clean criminal record, and if this allegation goes anywhere, I can lose my job, be arrested, and be unemployable by most parts of my state.
It’s disgusting how people use children just to hurt the other partner. Well I won’t sink to her level.
I am literally going through almost the same situations commented on in this blog..my ex husband has made so many false allegations against me with dcf drugs, I was cleared case closed, now it’s him and my mentally ill 15 year old son that made a false child sexual exploitation allegations with dcf it was unsubstantiated but turned over to bso to investigate. My son was in state foster care during the alleged timeframe I provided ALL case numbers done a sworn statement. My ex husband is a fugitive fleeing charges of second degree burglary from Mississippi facing3 to 25 years in prison..hires a rat of an attorney to prolong the case to trial in April when the original order allowed me visitation and shared custody and parental responsibility. The courts appointed a biased bigoted GAL that took my money and evidence and had the nerve to recommend to the courts that she has “concerns” about me when my ex husband is involved in an administrative investigation by dcf for my mentally ill 15 year old son strangling my 8 year old son and my soon to be11 year old daughter inappropriately sexually touching another little girl in girls scouts!! General magistrate Boven GAL Denise Kistner and the 17 district of courts in broward county florida is severely dysfunctional and don’t protect children!!
Need my case reinvestigated
This is crap. Men abuse women and children all the time and use the courts to revictimization them. Mothers mostly want what’s best for their kids. If the dad is nit a violent pig, she will be perfectly happy to share vid itation with him. You can tell the abusers: they are the men who actually sue for FULL CUSTODY. Dads who love their babies don’t do that. Theie kids are too close to mom—it would hurt them. But thyroid kind if false, unscientific crap allows abusive men to continue use to abuse the CHILDREN through the courts. Men lie. Women don’t. This is messed up.
That is one of the most disgusting biased uneducated things i have ever read. With grammar and comments like that I would be concerned with you raising children
I agree with alot of the above factor however I don’t agree that it’s pricey to get police reports, doctors records from physicians is the plaintiff and they don’t have to pay for their own doctor release form. Witnesses is word of mouth legally can’t stand in court without proof and when you try to bring a distant family members criminal record against the other parents is slandering use proposal of a individuals name that has no affect to the case or child/ children works the same way when you have two kids with different dads when the child in the case has no relation to the other individual who has a minor criminal record! The lawyer who proposes these these papers to the court hearing should be terminated for uneducated practices! Have a blessed day! <3
I am living with this ongoing situation now in my fourth year. My daughter and I were inseparable. I was her girl scout troop leader, softball coach and volunteer at school on a weekly basis. Until, my ex husband decided to find a wealthy girlfriend and portray himself as father of the year, after 4 years of having nothing to do with her. She was interrogated at school by 10 people, including police who questioned her until she said what they wanted her to say. She said after months of bawling when i questioned her (which i left it alone and only periodically asked how n why she could lie on me) ” mom, they kept asking me the same thing over n over n I told them you don’t hit me or beat me but they just wouldn’t stop asking so i finally just told them what they wanted to hear, I’m so sorry Mom. I’m so sorry ” as she bawled telling me this. That was wrong no matter what the law is here in Indiana . Of course, she was taken out of school that day and given to her dad with no notice to me until i picked her up from school, only to be shunned and told they didn’t know where she was. And that was the beginning of my demise as a parent who only wanted the best for my daughter. If someone, anyone wanted what was best for my daughter, or anyone’s child for that matter, they would demand a parent be there, not participate in the theatrical event that began in school and/ or never remove her without informing the custodial parent. The case was finally dismissed, without any hearing,
Exactly 3 months later but the irreparable damage was done by that family destroying entity DCS/CPS intertwined with school staff who didn’t have any training or knowledge on how to properly address issues, and the laws that protect perps and does nothing for victims, here I sit, without my daughter Oh yeah, he was the only person on the do not release list due to a previous incident prior to that at which that judge only had the police follow him home and remove his gun. She never addressed the underlying mental health issue as he admitted to being suicidal and never did answer being homicidal in open court that day hmmm. Must’ve gotten a hurried judge again who didn’t care enough to order mental eval. Again that was the beginning of the courts failing this parent. There were many more hearings that just fed his irrational thinking and if he didn’t like the ruling he went a different avenue of court until he got custody, a non contact order against me, and child support. That’s what’s going on this world, certainly not the best legal system, failing and almost mediocre id say, trailing for the lead on being the wealthiest perhaps Bottom line.. nobody truly cares anymore, and the law is equal to who has the most cash. Hence why the hatred has skyrocketed and children have more rights than parents. Until anyone truly cares and can pay, our world will continue to deteriorate and at a faster rate than imaginable. N yes, i have worked for the courts and it’s disgusting inside and out. I’ll stop there or my blood pressure will go off the charts like years ago while living the beginning part of this nightmarish saga.Please know i do apologize for the lengthy message. Wrong is wrong and in this particular case, not one person was right on rulings or decision making for the health and well being of me and/or my daughter.
Oh yeah, at one hearing why was nothing addressed as he literally bragged about making false allegations on me and how he learned how to do it. Mind you this was all ON THE RECORD! I’ll never understand how that was overlooked or never touched on to this day. Guess that’s legal now???? Again, hmmm
Thank you very much for the article I’m in a similar situation to the accusations I have multiple text messages from the mother of our child stating she sorry she’s lied to the cops and to the judge for everything she said about me and for what she has done. Will the judge this time look at these messages and take them into consideration in our next custody hearing.
Does anyone actually have any advice for mothers going through this in Colorado who are disabled and have no money for a lawyer? I am 100% innocent and have already missed 5 years of my kids lives or even hearing their voices all because i can’t afford a lawyer. It’s not right! I can’t see living any longer without my heart, soul & reason for existence
!
In 1997 I was going through a Divorce. I had My Mother In Law take my 14 year old Daughter ( from another marriage) to an attorney . I was mailed the transcript. It was called Certificate/ Affidavit. This transcript was nothing but lies from a 14 year old Girl who was mad at her Mother. What was in the transcript was accusations that I had no idea where they came from. I mean BAD things. I have tried to have a relationship with my Daughter but I just cannot get over it. We have good years and bad years. And there is nothing I could do ???
Hi, Regena. I am so sorry. I am a father going through this right now. I am in NJ and it is horrible for fathers. I did not know mothers could be alienated. I, recently, found a support group. PASA and it has helped me. I have found that talking to people that have been through this is the best was to stay sane.
You said your divorce was 1997? Has it been that long since you spoke to your daughter? She is much older now and I wondered if she has contacted you?
You don’t have to respond but I am here to chat if it helps you. Good luck and I am so sorry.
Yes we can and ARE alienated… I wrote a VERY long Submission here, about my one child who has been taken essentially and i honestly dont even know how..or if its even a legal case what they did to me…. It so complex…. I imagine it must be approved first… The TRAUMA we live daily has to be worse than the WORST death one could ever imagine… its rinse and repeat in our situation… They are Narcissists and we (Siblings and I) are the mere Pawns in this sick twisted head game….
I am retired from the military. I got married 15 Jan 2018 to my second wife. Feb 2018 she told me to buy her daughter a car (insurance, maintenance, gas etc) for her birthday/graduation present. She also told me sign for her daughter an apartment and pay for the rent for a year (utilities, furniture, food etc). I told her no and that should have been something that her and the father worked out before now. Later that night she brought me a large plate of food that I notice had more seasoning than normal. I end up waking up after 10:00 the next day. She started an argument and began accusing me of everything. Instead of waiting for the police to come and tell me to leave the house, I rented a room on a Navy base for the weekend (I was trying to study for finals). As I was going through my laptop to begin my class assignments and studying, I noticed my Folder was missing where I stored my class assignment and research paper. After further search, I noticed a large amount of my files was missing. I grabbed my cell phone and saw all of my contacts and texts messages had been deleted. I check my emails and discovered that she had deleted everything. She sent disturbing emails and texts to people in my contacts in my emails and cell phone. When I had attempted to returned back home, she had changed the locks before I had returned. I ended up sleeping in my car. She would call and complain she did not know my where about and began searching for me. When she found me she would turn her lights on bright and blow her horn to wake me up and to see if I had anyone in the car. After a few months of sleeping in my car, I told her that it was not fair and I was not going to continue to pay her bills and live in a car because I decline to buy her daughter a car and pay her rent for a year. Prior to stopping payments, I had consulted a lawyer, a rep from the courthouse (family law) they agreed with me not paying since she forced me out. I also asked about a divorce and about DNA testing of a child that she was carrying. I wrote notes in my table I was using for school. After speaking with the lawyer, I decide to drive 9 hours to my dad’s house to get a way to find peace and sleep in a bed. A week later, she called me to notify me of a family emergency she was having and asked if I could drive her to South Carolina. I drove 9 hours back to Florida picked her up and drove to South Carolina. She rode in the back seat so she could stretch out. While in the back seat, she rambled through the tablet that I had under my seat and saw the notes I had taken down from the lawyer. When we had returned to Florida, a few weeks later I had received a temporary injunction on my birthday (a week after Fathers Day) in front of my peers. One of the notes on that tablet was, if I file for a divorce the only thing that she would get would be child support since we were married less than a year. She lied and said I stalked her; she lied and describe two different version of beating her while pregnant; she claimed I stalked and harassed her family members; she lied and said I told her that I was going to burn her alive after she had the baby and move to another country; she had me Baker Acted (committed to a mental hospital for 72 hours for observation); she painted the picture that I was a retired combat veteran with PTSD. After she was granted the restraining order which is indefinitely she filed for spousal support which I have to pay her $1500.00 a month as long as the restraining order is in place, which is indefinitely. I was informed that the $1500.00 dollars did not include child support. I am currently waiting on the decision of how much I have to pay in child support. Since the child has been born I only see him if I give her money or buy something for her. She stated that I would never have a relationship with her son if i do not give her what she wants. Every few month she would send a few pictures of the baby to torment me but claim it is her way of keeping me in contact with the bay. I am so tired and mentally drained. My spirit is broken. I cannot afford an attorney. I can only afford to eat either a pack of ramen noodles, a pan cake, or mixing cornmeal and flour to make whats called a hot water cake once a day every other day,
Right now my daughter is trying to regain custody of her 4 year old son after drug addiction. She has been clean for 2 years and excels in her recovery. The father claims the toddle has FAS, walks like a “one legged pirate” and cannot talk because he was addicted at birth. This is not true. He has convinced doctors that he “falls a lot” and needs to wear a helmet. The court has ordered he wear this helmet always. There is nothing wrong with him. I cared for him through my daughters illness and he is normal, nothing wrong. He continues to wear a helmet now for 2 years and believes there is something wrong with him. The father does not allow him to use the toilet, he wears diapers, when with my daughter he is fully potty trained. This is medical negligence. The court will not listen to us, period. Any suggestions. He now will miss going to school beasuse he is not “potty trained”.
False allegations. Mom fled California when I filed for divorce. Court told her to return. On way back she got drunk and put two kids in hospital for three months. Convicted of intoxicated assault in Texas but when I file for custody in California home state and she gets served in Texas she makes False allegations of sexual abuse. Almost two years later approaching 100k in lawyer fees Texas and California. Arrest in Texas and still Mother has kids and won’t let me talk to them although California court orders are for me to have FaceTime every other day. Oh yeah and mother had an acute liver failure and liver transplant that she claims resulted from KAVA !! Ha ha. Ex is lawyer and manipulating system and sexually exploiting my daughter to make me scapegoat. Cps system is and judicial system is sick.
I have three grandchildren that are going through this kind of stuff right now, they are all siblings the oldest has a different dad from the other two and my daughter is going through a divorce, the man she is divorcing is tell the children all kinds of bad things about their mom to the kids and it is destroying the relationship between the kids and their mom, the oldest child’s dad is always telling bad things to the child and even calling police and DCS on the mom, these kids are going through hell and I do not know what I can do about it! Please help me if you can.
I had a support modification court date last week. Last time we were there was 7 yrs ago I was working part time in a grocery store. Now I work for the state and finally make decent money. His father being at his job 30 years makes 43,000 but also pays for his other two kids.He lives with his 94 year old father whom put his house in my son’s father’s name so if and when the nursing home doesn’t take it. His father worked for a large corporation here and his retirement pension is amazing. With all this being said my son’s father lives with him for free and the majority of the bills paid by his daddy. When My son’s father filled out the financial disclosure affidavit he fail to mention his father residing in the house and his yearly income. If that was included would I have been able to get help by his father for daycare and school activities as planned ? I was just informed the day after the court date that he didn’t add his father on the disclosure.
My ex filed an emergency motion to Superior Court alleging I, the mother of our child, had done drugs and was arrested and the judge signed my custody away without giving me the right to defend myself. (I have never got arrested or in jail). And after this ex also claimed I was abusing our 10 year old son sexually and coerced him to lie to the judge. Thus, the judge wanted the cops to investigate and it has been a year now and I still haven’t seen or talked with my son due to the order to not come around until investigation is complete. And I still haven’t been asked one question from the multiple counties he filed reports on me in and I have no clue what to do because all of this was so he could move to another state with his girlfriend and her children. Any advice? I’m in GA and I don’t believe my child said to the judge I harmed him as I would never. But I believe I have the right to question my accuser in the state of GA and I don’t know next steps and can’t afford an attorney either. Advice anyone? I wish someone would take the case on free as I know the Superior judge broke the law signing my rights away purely on statements and not allowing me to defend before him doing so. And this could allow an attorney to represent a good cause since the child involved apparently told the police that his mom, I would never hurt him and made it so clear they wrote this was a bogus claim by the father.
Do you have all the court records regarding his accusations of abuse? Also, get a copy of court transcripts. Having those will let you know exactly what was said by your son. If not, get those, now. As for not hearing from any agencies, don’t wait to hear from them, contact them yourself. Be proactive. Call your court clerk and ask what the process is for you becoming a pro se litigant in court…representing yourself. Then ask if there are any clinics for pro se litigants or a website she can point you to that will help you learn your jurisdiction’s rules and procedures. You can’t wait for the state to do something for you, you have to do it yourself. I went through the samething you’ve been through. Stand up for yourself and your child. Good luck!
This is the best advice I’ve read on this site. Ever since my case I wanted to stand up and defend my innocence,However, I was told by my attorneys and others it would seem like retaliation. 7 months later and 11k for an injunction and DV accusations. Ive yet to see my daughter. Where do you get a copy of court transcripts? The clerk?
I feel the system has been corrupt. And I feel laws are broken and I don’t know what to do about it
I’ve been living with a custody agreement that is lies. When my x wife and I got divorced in 2011 I couldn’t afford a lawyer. She lied to the court stating I had past domestic violence which I didn’t. I lost my case because of it. It even states it in my child custody paperwork. I couldn’t afford to fight it. They make is so expensive. The judge didn’t listen to anything I had to say and soaked up everything she said and didn’t even verify the allegations. Just because she had a lawyer and I didn’t I was the crappy parent. I was raising the kids by myself at the time with no help from her so that’s why I couldn’t afford a lawyer. I worked passed it and moved forward cringing every time I read my custody agreement. Now 9 years later my kids come to my house in the summer and tell me she’s telling them all these lies. She brain washing our children. Even my youngest didn’t wanna come this summer because of it. Now it’s effecting my children. What can I do. I’m afraid if I pay thousands to take her back to court than she will get a slap on the wrist and treat our kids like crap because they told me what she was saying about me and how bad it was hurting them. Please help!
Thank you
Wow. This is happening to many.
I was a stay at home mom to our son and then became divorced and now I am at third custody conference and practically childless.
Why? It was quite difficult to get the actual recordings, but my ex picked up son as usual on a Friday and later that night called 911 and stated a friend”even made up a name” called because I told this non existent person I took a bottle of pills.
Finding out was difficult enough but not as difficult as not being believed even with hospital records and statements and witnesses to this made up high school friend’s non existence. Worse yet, or being able to imagine how 6 yr old baby boy is processing any of this
I’ve lost my kids to their abusive father he lied to DHS and alienated me from my kids and their schooling and any support services the aboriginal services turned me away also I’m only seeing kids when he wants sex its killing me I have had to watch him scream at my kids they live in a filthy house and I’m not even Informed of DHS out orders I have no rights I love my kids I am going to in ave to forget them as I have no support no help and DHS do notengzge with me I just got verbally punished in front of my kids at 1 am my 6 yr old daughter terrified
This piece is my story. I’ve been though false accusations over and over involving both child services and the police. I’ve been through a polygraph, multiple interviews, home inspections, just completed my second home inspection in less than 6 months, my young child has been through a sexual abuse exam, forensic interviews, etc. I have zero expectation of privacy as either the cops or child services has shown up unannounced to my home more times than I can count.
I also no longer have any expectations of getting my child on exchange days as he has withheld our child so many times and doesn’t bother to notify me that he’s doing so until after I’ve been sitting at the exchange site for a while.
Over and over it seems there is no end in sight, half a dozen special settings in a year. Being proven innocent by the authorities each time only matters that I’m not being charged criminally, the damage done to me in my community and child’s school is done because there is a gag order I can’t tell those people I’m innocent!! So far no action has been taken against ex by the family court system so he has no incentive to stop.
I am emotionally, mentally and most importantly financially exhausted. This has gone on for years now at some point I have no choice but to recognize this as pointless, I am being financially fleeced and my kid and I are being tortured endlessly. After the upcoming hearing this month I am prepared to give up and give my ex what he wants full custody, child support and supervised visitation rights for me (bet he will not bother to bring the child) in other words accept being erased. I feel like I am on a hamster wheel that won’t stop spinning until I totally run out of money to keep playing. This nothing but legalized child abuse and legalized domestic violence!
5 years ago My husband was awarded full custody of his child After a 911 call on his ex wife and her husband by her neighbors for physically abusing his child. The cops and ambulance were on scene and treated child for multiple contusions and bruises and cuts (all because child had a stomach virus and threw up on her bed and was crying, they got angry).
Well in past 5 years we’ve have multiple calls on us from them and their family and friend reporting us from everything from abuse, drugs, welfare and insurance fraud (has state insurance after spending every dime including selling our home for legal fees and court fees) etc….and it keeps happening. Just so they can try to “get us” back and to get custody back of child. Every accusation and every report investigated have gone completely unfounded and nothing was ever opened on us from any agency.
It’s now to the point where I go into severe anxiety and panic attacks with tears when someone unknown knocks on our door (example: new neighbors moved in and wanted to introduce themselves). I get away from my door and hide in another room calling or texting my husband that someone unknown was at our door.
It’s traumatic and it stays with you. Not to mention that along with my stepchild, my own biological children (previous marriage my ex died in combat) have to see me go into flight mode and suffer the after effects of just a simple knock on the door. My own biological kids are affected by all of this and I cry over that. My own husband actually proposed to me one day years ago, that he will leave with his child so that I and my kids can not be subjected to his ex and the BS.
I told him absolutely not. I love him and I love my stepchild unconditionally and my kids love him and stepsibling. I said that’s what your ex and her husband want and I’ll be damned if they drive us apart.
I told him that we have done nothing wrong and we are honest people so I KNOW they will never find something on us, that it’s the fact that they put us through things (even though they know nothing is true).
I just wanted to say i i personally have been through this even though the court has found all allogations completely false the mother was awarded custody and this was 6 years ago and i still have never said anything negative but no matter what i try to do tp get visitation for my son the court still will not allow me to propose a parenting plan my Ex is severely hostile towards me even going as far as attacking me infront of tribal pd and still all of the domestic violence reports towards her and her self admitting to them nothing has happened im starting to feel that because i am half native american is why they will not allow me to even say hi to my son i iave tried paying out of pocket for a lawyer but one lawyer was threatened disbarmnet if he persued the case it got so bad to where cps took a child due to the child being born in a home with no electricity from a power outage i know it sounds untruthfull but it is not.every time my ex has shown up to court she has over 50 statements against me from people i have never even heard of and all of the statement sound exact.and the man i did not want around my son is a fellon for meth manufacturing selling and just in the last 2 years went to prison for murder im im scared for my son because of her anger but if i speak out i end up having police telling me i cannot speak about anything that had happened it was so bad i i had no where to live because she would call the cops on me talk to my landlords and had people beat me up in homeless shelters i i had to leave state but the courts will not even hear me out why is it okay for her to do this why does the court state it is unjust to use tape recordings and my statements but never punish’s her for false statements im just asking because i have tried everything in my power but get nowhere this all happened in omak and spokane washington and just to add the colville tribe was not allowed to even help me
Ok so what if the father abuses the baby, leaving a huge bruise and then refusing to return child blaming the mother for the abuse. He gets a Exparte with only a business card of a cps worker and nothing else, while mom is a wonderful mother has pictures of many bruises on the baby each week she gets 1-2 hour supervised visitation proving more and more that he is being abused. Mom has 4 witnesses in the room where his diaper was being changed before hv to go for weekend with dad and at no time was there a a bruise while in moms care until he went to dads and then 3 hours later got asked about a bruise. The mom doesn’t hv any cps case against her, nor any investigations criminally by police department, but the Dad does hv both. The dad falsified abuse info against the mom and has had the baby since June 8th, the dad pushing court further and further out, next court date is Dec 10th. How long does this baby hv to be abused and kept from the mother. Seems like the texts showing his admission to causing bruise, the picture of all the bruises every week being new ones , plus psychiatric report on father states he should never be along with child, that he has anger issusies that he can control. Seriously does the baby have to either die from abuse or be close to death before the courts do what is right?
I have this going on in my life now.
Levelland texas has the worst judge right after the dad got the cops and peaple that work there to change the real report and because hes a cop he made a deal with judge thats how he got the kids what should i do
I couldn’t have said that any different than word for word as that. I feel like i was reading the biography of my life and my family’s lives.
My divorce was exactly that way 12 years ago. I am now a registered sex offender and alinated from the from my grandchildren now from it.
Because this cruel insane system and the horrible , horrrible parents who use it as their own empire for battle and enialation of the other to get the trophy they once called of their “child of their love”.
What in the hell kind of savage human being could find this more acceptable than a predator molesting their child.?
I am nevercever will be able to understand this.
How this world allows the savageness to consume them and accepting of it. I am glad i will doe soon so i no longer have to see the awful heartbreak and destruction of lives.
To see the people who were true to following the social standards of being a good person/parent, honesty/integrity and the morals of right and wrong..
Only to be shuned away cast on this hell run by man.
My grandson Kellan is 3 pure heart of love and happiness. Now afraid to be the beautiful angel God sent him to be. Baby giggles are now silenced. His bright eyes no longer seen. He lives in fear.
He would not even look my way yesterday as i had to say good bye. I was his grandma . my baby handsome no more.
I ask of you that as youcsay you have knowledge and will fight for the rights of divorce andvthe hate. That you do make a stand so no child will ever have his life taken away again.
Thank you .
(For my Kellan) I lovevypu.
i am currently dealing with this exact thing my girlfriend left town with my son and has filed a restraining order in another county in the hopes i will miss the court date and she is claiming i sexually physically abused her and my son i love my son more than anything in this world and the idea that i would hurt him or his mother in any way makes me absolutely sick to my stomach its complete bullsh#t and is nothing but lies to try to get the upper hand in a custody case so far this has almost cost me my job my guns my right to see or talk to my son not to mention all the money i am going to have to spend to defend myself
Is it just me or is there an OVERWHELMING majority moms posting to these comments? I find that very odd, and somewhat refreshing after countless hours online researching this subject (I refer to broadly as Parental Alienation) where it seems like everywhere else, it seems that the overwhelming majority of cases represented are mom as the alienator and dad as the alienated parent… I have been dealing with this sickening abuse of me and my children for over 10 years. My ex is wildly hateful and cannot get enough of whatever high she gets from setting me up, framing me, false accusations and all manner of over-the-top plots to force me to abandon my kids so she can win her trophy that she dedicated the past 10 years of our marriage and subsequent 10 years of divorce too: A fully funded life of leisure, at my expense via child support. This started a few months after our separation, when she first asked me to fund her (and her bf with whom she now lived) and explained to her that it made no sense to pay her child support when we were sharing custody 50/50. She insisted that she was supposed to get CS payments “because she is the mother” and “because all my friends are getting huge CS checks from their ex husbands”. She couldn’t understand and refused to accept the key fact that I actually loved my children (was my idea to have both of them and I did most the raising up until then) and was NEVER going to leave them like most dead-beat-dads do. It wasn’t long after that I got ambushed completely out of nowhere by an officer serving me a lawsuit demanding FULL custody due to the fact that she had a husband who made more $ than me (she remarried her bf that same year, ON OUR ANNIVERSARY), had a nicer house (false) in a nicer neighborhood (very false). She stated I was unfit to be a parent because the kids had been late for school twice over the past year and I had failed to consistently return all the kids socks. Yes, thats all, and exactly what it said! We settled before seeing the judge (my first mistake) with a 51/49 arrangement where I gave her just enough of a majority to collect that golden CS check, thinking it would appease her lust before it became abusive to our kids. But the computer calculated it to be only $100 a month when she was expecting over $2k as her friends were collecting. Since then, It’s become a sick game to her, coming up with a new way to harass, insult, accuse and abuse every month. We plan vacations and I give her my days first but she refuses to give mine when time comes. Or she lets us leave and then calls every 15 minutes demanding updates until I stop answering the phone, then she files an Amber Alert on the kids and im arrested in front of the kids for kidnapping and hauled off to jail while the kids, terrified, are stranded and must wait at police station for 5 hours while she comes to their rescue. Three weeks in out-of-state prison awaiting extradition (ty texas for using every single hour you were allowed to imprison an innocent person)… Afterwards, she refused to let me have the kids “unsupervised” and demanded I complete her gauntlet to “earn back my trust” before she would let me speak to them again. Three weeks in prison is enough to warp me into actually believing I somehow deserved to be there. So I tucked my tail and submitted to her punishment thinking I was just too stupid to see how terrible a person I HAD to be. When she finally let me see the kids, they were so scared they were literally trembling and wouldn’t come within arms reach of me for first half of the day! That was when I knew there was some major twisted alienation going on while I had been locked up! They were AFRAID of me! It’s the most terrible, indescribable feeling when your child looks at you in fear like that!! Ill never forget that moment…
Anyway, I could go on for days here. that was just the very beginning of a decade long, ever increasing campaign to eradicate me in every since. She ran and jumped in my car when I dropped off my daughter. Then, after I left, she says “He assaulted me! Did yall see? My daughter saw it!!! He assaulted me!”. She was trying to get a restraining order but it didn’t work because my daughter changed her statement after learning what “assaulted” means. She has fully turned my son against me and he hates me furiously for reasons he either doesn’t know, or wont tell me. She got cancer (removed with minor surgery) and told the kids the cause was the stress of dealing with me, and enacted a family policy that, to save her life, she required everyone to reject me and cut off communication with me to keep her stress down. For 3 months I was only allowed to speak to her husband, who informed me that he was “disappointed in you, these two beautiful children are too good to be around you. So we will be keeping them from now on while we pray that you can become better”… This was the man who tore my family apart 10 years prior. Now he is after my kids to finish the job! I called the police several times as she was directly defying court ordered custody. They won’t involve themselves in custody matters apparently, tho, I don’t recall that policy when I was arrested and lost my job, my home, and even some members of my own family who came to see me as a lowlife criminal while I served my time without any charges. The state kept my case open for 2 years threatening me with 20+ years if I didn’t plead guilty! I almost did, but at last second decided I would do 20+ years before I would admit to harming my own kids! The judge jumped up screaming at me and I dove for cover thinking the man was attacking me! Eventually, after posting my mugshot on front page of local paper defining me as kidnapper, they dropped the case.
Unfortunately, it appears her evil, manipulative and abusive lies have paid off. She somehow convinced the (same) judge to sign an Ex Parte order for all parental rights, custody and unsupervised visitation to be removed from me immediately and without my presence or notification. Due to “proof of drug addiction” apparently. That, and every other statement against me is COMPLETE fiction. So, whatever he is calling “proof” simply cannot be. Regardless, it’s been done and even if I prove its all a lie, it is unlikely to change anything according to my lawyer. My kids have been so long alienated now that I see no path forward from here. Their mom is so hateful, it’s really harming them I can tell. So, I think it’s time for me to remove myself from the scene in hopes that it will earn them some freedom from this drama. They will grow up seeing that change as further proof that I was the cause of the conflict the whole time. That hurts… But I see no other way to help…
I suggest to everyone reading this: DO NOT get married, or have children in the USA! It isn’t safe for you, your spouse or your kids here! I wouldn’t wish this life upon my worst enemy!
P.S. I am scheduled for court in 1 week to defend myself. Any and all words of advice and/or encouragement are very welcome and appreciated!
Can someone please help I haven’t seen my daughter in 4 years it’s her birthday today and I can’t even cal her they legally have my baby girl held hostage. When they didn’t even want her they hid me the whole time I was pregnant at 15 he was 20 my family didn’t know I had a baby his parents would make me hide when my family would come to there house looking for me they made me get imancpipated so I could legally give my baby away to her adoptive parents while in the hospital they changed my last name to Jenna novus and baby novus I got her back I went and told my sister and if we didn’t get her back within a hour and a half it would have been finalized then his parents told me to o’clock my things I wasn’t welcome there again and these people have my daughter they made up a bunch of lies and got full custody of her I haven’t talked to her nor seen her in 4 years this isn’t right I’m so broken
Is there anyone I can talk to for help? so I can see my baby and sue then for the horrible things they have done.
What I just read is exactly what has been going on for the entirety of my marriage now. For two years his ex wife has thrown accusation after accusation but it was only at my husband at first but then she started on my children. First my oldest but her kids were allowed over the next weekend and when as they said no, that it never happened at all. Next she moved on to my intellectually disabled adopted son and his sibling who has possible fasd. Now we find that she has finally moved on to blaming her own flesh and blood sixteen years old daughter. The daughter was given to us by the police and we filed for emergency custody but for some reason the judge had the case moved over and it has been almost two years of non stop dfcs police phone calls messages and then the past year my husband has not been aloud by there mother to even have a second of unsupervised, by her, conversations with the children and will hang up if they try to say something she don’t like. She has somehow got the boy to tell a counselor that his oldest molested him to three years ago. And this is because for the second time her daughter won’t talk to her. When the daughter moved in with us she filed trumped up felony charges for theft after the girl came with only a bag of clothes and her mother won’t return her stuff. There was a lot of other stuff going on that didn’t involve me before our marriage and this has all been insane. We’ve been counselors and therapists and psychologists and we’re still in court with possession of his daughter, not even temp custody to get her in school, a lawyer who won’t even return calls, no money, no help, and now word from or about his children at all I. Over a year until his youngest daughters collar bone was broken somehow when pushed by the third daughter and then when the daughter with us and her siblings wanted to talk to each other we get hung up on and get a message two days later saying that his son told a counselor that the oldest was molesting or being sexually inapropriate with him three years ago out of nowhere. It’s never ending and we can’t find help and no one to do anything about it.
This is exactly what I’ve been going through the past three years and even with his declarations signed under penalty of perjury contradicting each other and him having her in the home of a pedophile after abducting my daughters (one of which was not his child beyond beyond an unofficial step parent but at that point he’d bailed and started a new psuedo family for a year or so and had just started coming back around) and refusing to tell me where they were or letting me speak to them for days then dropping my oldest (not his child) off with my grandmother whom he poisoned against me with the initial accusations that afterward consistently changed with every declaration and never would sign the one that got CPS to investigate and the courts to look at me sideways with my oldest daughter as his covering his tracks for the abduction. I’ll admit I had been struggling to get away from my controlling and toxic mother and then grandmother when staying with her turned out to be a bad idea and I got a job as a caregiver where the girls and I could live until I had enough saved for us to get our own place. There was some weirdness I walked into unwittingly being assured everything was good to go and we ended up homeless and carless (my mom refused to give me my keys when she tried to keep my children from me to punish me as a 30 year old woman because she had some ideas in her head that were untrue but wouldn’t listen and at that time I had another car but I ended up with none and homeless) for one week with my daughters and I had them go stay with the controlling grandmother for a week while I figured out getting us into a hotel (I didn’t know about resources or shelters or help for DV situations like I do now as it is what I do for work) and had had my daughters there for 3 days when my youngest’s dad picked them up while I was at the store and they were with the babysitter (my oldest was ill because it was way too hot and she’d thrown up when we had gone outside for a bit so I left them there so she could rest and went to get a fan and socks for my youngest) to “take them to dinner” and when I returned and he finally took my call he had an outlandish story that didn’t even make sense as his excuse and refused me even speaking to them. Wow that is the briefest gist of that scenario I’ve been able to write and this is WAY too long for a comment but it comes with a question pertaining to your post:
With the above obvious parental interference and potentially kidnapping of my oldest (her father will attest to the fact that my youngest’s father lied to him and then wouldn’t cooperate in signing his statement and once he did sign A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT statement it was over a year later negated his initial accusations and claim and at that point he had an expensive attorney [who with his ever changing statements knew he was committing perjury unless her law degree was drawn in crayon] and it was to cover his behind since the damage was already done and the new statement had no use for the parties against me)(also my ex husband was not informed of him taking my daughters and did not okay it and wouldn’t have so heh had no permission from either parent to take my daughter anywhere) and his continued refusal to accept all the hoops I’ve jumped through as good enough for me to have my visits where they should be so in violating the parenting plan, keeping my daughter from my time for holidays, her sister’s birthday and Thanksgiving most recently, and his girlfriend under investigation by CPS for abuse against my daughter mentally and physically (well I know about both kinds of abuse going on I don’t know what CPS knows as no one has contacted me) what should I do since I can’t afford an attorney, can’t find a lawyer willing to take the shit show of a messy case I’ve got pro bono, the courts just accepted dude’s lies and self contradiction as truth and I was railroaded by my mother and grandmother and him so I’m scared of the courts and trusting the truth or best interest of my daughter to matter to them without any money for a fancy lawyer to make them feel important and the idea of CPS makes me think foster care and more trauma for my baby girl…. You hit the nail on the head that sealed my coffin with this case in your article with not being able to disprove false accusations and the effects on my daughters have been horrible and sad and they were just happy and healthy and full of love and life before and now … amazing and resilient little people but they’re being made to grow up too fast and losing their childhoods and I need advice or more a shove in a direction so I can fling my energies someway…
I ramble always and I kept this very concise if you can believe it! Hope you read it before you delete it bahaha!!
Happiness is a choice and why choose anything but!?
I recently was accused of domestic violence for trying to leave our residence in order to prevent arguing in front of our 11 month old daughter. I was shoved into the baby gate almost falling down the stairs. My daughter began to cry as I was shoved again I stopped the mother who was heavily intoxicated, moved her out of the way and protected my daughter. She called the police. I waited patiently for them to arrive and answered the door with my daughter in my hands. They questioned her downstairs and me upstairs. When they approached me they said have you been drinking because she is wasted. They took my statement and as soon as i said I moved her out of the way to pick my daughter up they arrested me taking her out of my hands and leaving her on the ground. They took me to jail and left her with the mother who they just stated was wasted. That was 7 months ago. The judge court ordered a third party to see my daughter until our first court appearance and parenting rights was resolved. She told my mom she needed time and would reply 3 days later. On the following monday she filed an injunction against me for herself and my daughter. Making completely false allegations saying my daughter was present every time who at the time was 11 months. I have over 5000 videos and pictures of my daughter she is my heart and soul. I tried to leave on several occasions and talk about co parenting because we didn’t get along. Her mother let me know if i left i was abandoning her and my daughter and would isolate me until the point I would return. Since then I missed her 1st birthday, first words, fathers day, several holidays and she will not send pictures. I woke up in the middle of the nights feeding, changing her. Read to her every night, Skin to skin ever morning, countless of hours of research to ensure I could be the best father possible. Since shes been out of my care I have been sent a video from a friend of her mother having her in a bar with alcohol in her hands, She has been overdosed dropping her heart rate to 51 and put in telemetry. Her mother was selling my stuff on let go as well as the elderly lady she cares for. I was told to sign a final injuction when my attorney wasnt present and it would drop the injunction against my daughter allowing me parental rights. This in fact was false. The final injunction awarded her 2 years of full custody which I wasnt aware of until I went into the court house to do an address change. If anyone has any advice on what actions to take now please let me know. Thank you.
sometimes those allegations are true and sometimes the real problems are how to prove those allegations! I am a victim of one. I don’t have money my ex partner mentally abused me to the point where he made me believe that I was the bad guy and it’s all my fault. I left and almost went homeless and depressed and he made people believe that I abandoned my child and now is having trouble getting the my child back. It’s sad the court favors the people who pretends that are good. All I have as a proof Of my ex abusive behavior is statements from his ex gf towards my child. But U.K. don’t seem to care! All they care about is my partner giving my child a home but they never check what happens behind close doors! My son is 5 years old with speech problem! People are sick! I don’t know who can help my son be in a good home! I can’t sleep at night thinking how my ex is treating my child
My ex is a drug addicted sex worker without a stable residence. For that reason i took on the responsibility of caring for our 6 year old son. (We did not have any court order). Recently i let our son go with her for Thanksgiving but she did not return him and she pulled him from school. I was then served with a restraining order for domestic violence. I filed my response and my hearing was on 1/3/20 so i already havent seen or heard from my son since Thanksgiving then at the hearing i was told that his mother asked for a continuance and they pushed it to the 22nd. She basicly abducted my son taken him from his home and his school! I feel that too much time is going by, im being alienated. At the very least they shouldve set a visiting schedule or something. Can i file a ex parte even if the other parent was given temporary custody? I have texts from her admiting to lying in order to get that restraining order saying she just did it because she was mad at me. In other words the restraining order was only used as a means to get temp custody. Please help
What can be done when you escape from your abuser and you dont tell anyone and you aren’t close with you family and he lives with your grandma and starts sleeping with your mom while he has your 3 children and they plot against you take a car loan out in my name and get me arreseted for aggravated interface of parental custody when your parents then gain custody of your oldest that isnt his. I took her from my parents not know the legal things they did. Now i own my abuser thousands of dollars in childsupport because him and my mother took adavantage of me being in jail for the felony now im being sued and have no fucking idea what the hell is going on im 25 and im still trying to figure out how to live outside of all there shadows mind control and abuse.. This all started at a very young age i was kept inder lock and key growing up and into this relationship..
One reason that our judicial system is that they dont charge Purjury ,Plan and simple if there is no consequence to lying to the court then why tell the truth.And if you allow them to lie then there is no reason to have courts.The lame court system is causing the downfall of america and here is where the changes need to be made we must all get together and demand change or nothing will get done This is a perfect example of government doing things to make money.
Thank you for this article. You absolutely nailed everything on the head. I am currently fighting for my son and the horror of it all is truly hard to believe, it is so ridiculous that most would think it’s fiction. If you saw Marriage Story and found it very poignant, I am writing a Screenplay that makes that movie seem like a Pixar Film. Thank you very much, this definitely helped me feel a little better. Cheers!
Making false accusations are out of the question. But but what can be done when a Husband who is good at hiding his alcohol and drug abuse as well as being very good at manipulation and emotional abuse? And it seems like the court is only concerned with signing papers and not interested is reviewing statements from both the mother and child asking for control to keep the 15 year old daughter able to choose to keep herself safe? It seems like the courts aren’t interested in the actual safety of the daughter. I there really anything that can be done?
I am currently involved in a custody dispute. My ex has filed a restraining order and two criminal charges against me and used the subsequent no-contact pre-trial release conditions to slander me in the community and alienate me form my son. We argued when we were splitting up but I certainly never threatened or put my hands on her. I would never do that! No matter, she filed a restraining order the day before she filed for custody and she’s filed two criminal charges since. I was looking for stats on restraining orders and charges filed against men in divorce when child custody is involved versus not when I found your page. Very good read. If you know of anything that might have statistics showing the prevalence men of being accused of domestic violence during custody cases, could you please let me know?
In California the courts do not seem to care. My son is being used as a pawn in his girlfriends divorce. Their divorce was just recently finalized after nearly 4 years. Her ex has had a girlfriend for over 5 years, (breaking up a couple times) who cannot have kids… She has made them lie about my son and the ex is all for it…. It started off with one child and evidence was not enough, so then they decided to use the oldest daughter to lie. And now she is. My son has a lawyer, but every time their is a break, the ex and girlfriend say something else. My sons girlfriend has not been allowed to be alone with her kids or talk to them. The ex is a drug addict, and so is the girlfriend. She has a history of lying and putting people into prison for sexually abusing kids. This lady is professional.
Since the girlfriends entrance, the youngest child developed a rash…. And the girl told her mother that “AMEE” tortured her, and the little girl (at 4) said she HATED Amee…. For a 4 year old to express hate as she did, we knew something was wrong… When Ame was gone for 2 months the girls rash went away…. Its been back for years now.
This has gotten too far out of hand…. Where is help?
The worst part… My son was already used as a pawn, so the bulls eye was already on his forehead…. in my own divorce, when he was 14 These people are friends of my ex’s family… No coincidences. It is even more twisted than that but this is the basics…
what about the child who IS abused by the father but he is such a narcissistic sociopath that he lies like a pro and everyone believes him even though the older child has the marks and burns to show the abuse. He has the ptsd, anxiety and depression to prove it. Wants to kill himself rather than be with the father and is hospitalized for SI? The mother is made to look like she is crazy and making this up but she isn’t. The mother is made to look like she is trying to alienate the father but it is really the other way around. The Judge refuses to speak to the kids and only believes the lying narcissistic sociopath and gives the kids to the abuser and blames the mother for EVERYTHING.
It is the kids who suffer and the father who wins. the ABUSER WHO HAS beaten and abused the mother when married, was arrested then but because it was the first time arrested for DV, nvm the emotional abuse, he serves 2 years probation. He now tells everyone that he has NEVER been arrested (we have arrest record as proof), pictures of the ex-wife’s body with the injuries from his violence. He denies to this day that he never touched her. He denies that the never burned his son, strangled him, threw him, choked him, kicked him, punched him, whipped him…we have photos. DSS unsubstantiated everything because he is such an expert liar because he is a trained military person. Trained to lie. Severely abused as a child by his alcoholic father who beat him while his mother stood by. But oh no, he tells everyone that he had a wonderful, happy childhood without any abuse.
It is time for our Judicial system to listen to our experts, our child abuse experts who interview our children who have been abused and state that they fear for these children. That they have NOT BEEN COACHED. That they should NOT BE ALONE with the father because he is emotionally and physically abusing them and no one believes them. This is what our expert witness said and she is STUNNED that this ignorant judge ignored her evidence after knowing these children for over 6 years and interviewing them multiple times. their stories NEVER changed from 5 years old to 8 years old, the details remained the same of the previous abuse when re-questioned and the abuse continues.
The father is so paranoid that he believed that the mother was doing EVERYTHING that he, himself, was doing…ALIENATING.
The Judges in North Carolina need to wake up and listen to the children- but this judge refuses to listen to the children- EVER>
Can u email me please same to a t
I had a cousin a few years younger then I and we were very close as children. But she suffered from depression and ptsd that all stemmed from an ugly divorce when she was 10. Her mother made false allegations of sexual abuse from her father. As a direct result of that she was made to suffer through numerous invasive sexual abuse examinations. She was poked and prodded, peered at and photographed by doctors. There was one incident she shared with me that breaks my heart and sends shivers down my back.”” She told me that photo evidence was needed for court and that doctors and nurses held her down and spread open her labia, and her buttocks cheeks were parted and her anus held open while an inside view of her rectum was photographed. This all took place during the RAD Test and satanic child sexual abuse at nurseries and preschool scandle swept the country.
I am currently the parent that is unable to afford a lawyer. My former aunt took my 2 daughters exparte on false pretenses that my children were in danger of serious physical harm. I have now lost them (temporarily) and only have 3hrs once a month visitation even though when asked, under oath, (On the SECOND court date when we could finally question her) “Do you really believe I would put my children in any physical danger?”, she said, “No.” Why was the case not thrown out then? Where is the penalty here? I think that the justice system in this country is completely backwards, and partially corrupt! Why is it that a murderer, or a child molester can get a court appointed lawyer and be set free because of their expertise, but a mother that is having her children taken has no right to an attorney? How is this right?
My name is James Taylor and we are a family of six two adults and four children we have been wrongfully accused of allegations of abusing our five year old son we just moved to California 5 months ago and we were homeless for 3 months we just moved into a place January 3rd and on the 6th of January my son was taken out of the home with allegations of abuse even though we were wrongfully accused we are doing everything the judge asked us to do we’re not getting any cooperation from our court-appointed lawyers or the CPS workers we are trying to raise money for private attorneys I mean anything will and can help us right now to get our children back we don’t care if it’s just legal advice you can call us at 386 562-6807 and ask for James or Linda please help us and getting our children back we are in desperate need and have nowhere else to turn
Interesting how lying gets a parent custody. Courts take a minor away from mother when father has 2 convicted OWI and mother has NO record…. Only in Iowa
I am in a custody battle with my mother. She has made up a story that I’m on drugs. I have proved by taking 4or 5 urine tests to prove I’m not. Then today got notice I am a call girl now with pictures of something or someone that is Not me. I’m going crazy this has been going on for about5 months they gave my mother temp custody as she had a doctored tapeI am not on drugs and never have been what can I do thank you Aleisa
My son is going through this very thing. It is a nightmare he is active duty military and it is involving 2 states. He is now sitting jail waiting extradition there is no way he can afford a lawyer or the bond amount set So he will wait in jail he has not yet waived extradition because his final divorce court date is coming up. He wants his divorce to be final as soon as possible. All he told the judge in the custody hearing was he wanted his bipolar wife to go back on her medication because she had been doing some crazy things with the kids and he wasn’t comfortable with it he has no problem with his wife having custody physical custody as long as she is on her medication and stays on her medication. We have text messages audio messages phone recording videos. Of her behavior. Including telling him that if she did not get what she wants she was going to Tell the police that he touched his 14-year-old stepdaughter when she was five. After she lost emergency custody she did exactly that.
My niece had a custody case being done in Ohio court, they stated in the document, that my son is a sex a fender and he is not is this legal
I had my exes false allegations recorded on audio. Hilarious. Her fair tales looked like a 6 year old wrote it. The second sentence would literally contradict the first. The verdict despite clear and convincing evidence? I’m abusive for having a penis
I am being charged child support and being threatened prison time if I do not keep paying. All I want is a court date, DNA and the past ten years of support money unlawfully taking from me. Please help me. No lawyer seems to want to look into this matter. I’m becoming very depressed over this.
my sons mom keeps dragging me back to court I have full custody and leave out of state and she never fulfills any past court order never paid child support but every month files another court date I have to miss work fill paper work on court , she does this for me having custody.What do i file to have this stop, the courts are in San Diego California please help
May I add to this that sexual abuse against women and children exists, and lenghty court cases are need to find out the TRUTH. That is the only way these individuals can be stopped from causing further abuse towards the victims. The horrific notion that all females make false allegations has to stop and this inability to remain impartial within the family courts has to end. Females from my experience are persecuted for telling the truth. Unfortunately when victims are prersecuted not only is it have a detrimental impimpact upon the mother but it has a unprecedented horrific effect upon the children and unfortunately dramatically prolongs the abuse that the male perpetrator subjects upon the children who he is allowed to see, once a serious allegation is made contact needs to be supervised with upmost concern for the children and to ensure that abuse that has been alleged does not continue, turning a blind eye to abuse is never the way forward, my advice to the victims is STAY STRONG AND NEVER GIVE UP. Prove the truth and make sure that justice is served.
I’m going through the exact thing right now. My case is in Illinois. It is a 3 year post divorce custody case where my ex husband is looking for 50/50 parenting time and no child support since we make equal pay. We were divorced in June 2014. We had a parenting agreement where he had parenting time on sat from 9 am to Monday at 5pm. I agreed he pay 1100 a month for 3 kids even though the kids were entitled to 1600 a month in child support. We were both promoted to detectives in feb 2015. I filed a petition for the mandated child support in in dec 2015. In March 2016 it was settled. In Oct 2016 my ex husband threatened that the child support law in Illinois was changing in July 2017. I knew nothing about it. I later found out that the law was no longer based on % based on the number of children and income. I also found out if the children spent 146 overnights at my ex husbands residence, he would no longer pay child support. It should be noted my ex husband never exercised his allotted parenting time and in addition, after our promotion he did not want the children both his days off only his last day of work and one of his days off.
Fast forward to Jan 2017, He filed a modification of child support and a modification for parenting time asking for 50% custody. I was not surprised since I was forwarded in a text (which I kept). We went through mediation with no resolution, my ex filed for a Child Rep recommended by his attorney for our 3 children, which was granted.
I attempted numerous settlements, the court threw out his motion to modify child support in 2018. Since I worked nights and he worked days and nights the Child Rep recommended a temporary parenting time schedule based on my ex husbands rotating schedule of 9 months of nights and 3 months of days. He was given parenting time on his nights off however while on days he was to have the children 50% of the time to compensate for his 9 months of nights. In addition if we were both working nights the Child Rep recommended my mother care for the children since she lived with us while masked since the children were born and she continued to reside with me after the divorce. In January 2019 after 18 plus years I was finally able to bid for the day shift. At that time my ex husband changed his schedule to 6 months of days and 6 months of nights. Giving himself by default more parenting than was intended. In addition my oldest child who was 10 at the time was adamant on not being on the new schedule. She and her 8 year old siblings would constantly ask by text to come home and was allowed due to the Court Order which states if the children are with one parent and express a need to be with the other parent both parents will accommodate the request. Meanwhile my older daughter was so disturbed and unhappy because of the guilt her dad made her feel she wrote a note with thoughts of suicide (Stating she wanted to kill herself). This note was written on 12 feb 2019 and discovered by her dad on her iPad. It was withheld from me for over 3 weeks and then finally given to the Child Rep to inform me. My ex with held information that could of potentially hurt my daughter. After this she began therapy and of course the blame game started and I was blamed by my ex husband. He stated she was being guilted into asking to go home, that my daughter just felt sorry for me and that was the only reason she didn’t want extended visits at her dads. Not one time did any of the kids state they don’t live their dad.
My ex husband began intimidation and alienating tactics with the kids. He would only allow the children to speak to me supervised. Him and his girlfriend began taking pictures of my daughters text conversations with me, my daughter stated her dad said I was brainwashing her, these screenshots were seen by my daughter. My ex husband stated to my daughter that I didn’t answer her calls on purpose, that I was playing mind games on her, that she is unhealthy for texting me. He would ask her why she doesn’t text him as much. He told my daughter he was showing the texts to doctors because texting me was unhealthy. He told her he was going to disable her text and FaceTime and he did. The kids are only allowed to call me on his phone, while he is sitting there listening. He stopped allowing my mother to care for the kids and instead left them with his girlfriend which my oldest didn’t like (of course I was blamed for that too)My ex husband stopped complying with allowing the children to leave and return home. The Child Rep condoned this and stated he didn’t agree with that part of the order and stated it was vague. My ex husband and I disagreed on many things regarding the kids, including school work. Since I cared for them the majority of the time and I worked nights, the children were used to doing Homework right after school before I left for work at 5pm. Especially our son who has ADHD and his pediatrician recommended we be on the same routine at each home. With the current schedule my ex husband would make our son do his work sometimes at 7:30 to 8 pm causing fights between him and our son. My ex to lost patience and kicked my sons door in when he locked himself in his room and struck him with n the back of the head causing him to flee his residence. This scared the children and my oldest daughter informed me and was labeled “reporter girl” she was yelled at for telling me the incidents. She is continually and yelled at for asking to leave and told she only askes to leave because of me., after she was allowed to leave for almost a year. During the covid virus, he disabled contact on her iPad with not only me but family and friends. I am called an alienator even though I’ve offered more time parenting time, to my ex ( evidence is on text) I’ve never limited communication, in fact I am the one who set up various forms of contacting him. His number is programmed on their iPads, my children have expressed they love their dad on text and don’t exhibit alienated children. My daughters therapist doesn’t agree I have alienated her, the Child Rep has not consulted with the therapist to ask about my ex’s disturbing behavior. The Child Rep was informed my ex husband was showing his home with realtors during this covid knowing the kids are in and out and condoned it.
Yet I’m dubbed alienator. I’m broke now, my mortgage is behind. I’m under tremendous anxiety with worry over how I’m going to show my kids Ex’s lies. I have them all including evidence, however I’m not a lawyer and I can no longer afford this fight. All I want to do is clear my name and nor give 50/50 parenting. I want him to have more than he had but not 50/50. Especially since he did not utilize his original time. This is about $ and the court, the Child Rep especially don’t care. The Child Rep Refuses the look at the evidence I gave of my exes pathological lying. What do I do!? At my wits end.
My child’s father dismissed our custody case right before we had trial last time he took me. I had written up a parenting plan and we went and had it notarized the same day after dismissing the case. He has broken every agreement we made in the notary and now is upset and took me back to court again after the judge saying he understood he is walking away with no rights and he said yes and judge said he understands he can’t get mad if I don’t let him see our child; and he said yes.
My thing is, my family won’t listen to me and my brother is a lawyer and he won’t listen. He said he has rights. I advised everyone laws are different for married and non married parents and they all said no. Right now my sister-in-law is giving my child’s father video chatting twice a day and I barely get to see him or speak to him myself. I asked her yesterday to make it to one time a day and she responded back saying he is the father and he has wishes also and I will respect both you. I believe now they are messing up my custody case that he has lied about why he is taking me back to court, called police on me to do a wellbeing check for no reason at all saying I was doing meth, other hard drugs and wild parties and he wanted to check his son. He hasn’t tried reaching out or anything since OCT last time he forfeited his visitation. Next time he reached out was of course only on Christmas
I’m late to the party. I just found this site. My client has a 5 year old who has made two separate allegations of being hit in his privates by the ex. Unfortunately only told family members. We have reported to DCS, unsubstantiated. The child has a counselor now due due to behaviors from well behave child to rages and school discipline problems. Twice I asked for a GAL to investigate more deeply. “If it’s not happening Judge, maybe a GAL can figure out WHAT is happening.” Judge says Mom is coaching. I really do not believe that. DCS said get kids statements on video. Mom does, Judge berates her and says she’s lower than a child molester! Kiddo is going to be severely abused and be afraid to talk because no one is listening and responding. Works both ways. What a tragedy.
Our legal system is convoluted and very unfair! I lost my sweet baby girl based on cps siding with false allegations and helped with her fathers high paying attorney take my child away is crazy!
She cries for me and yet no one has given me the chance prove my innocence and no one has thought of the child’s best interest!
I don’t have the money for a high paying atty and the court appointed attorney favors her dads attorney and not listening to the child nor looking at ALL the facts! Please help I’m at lost with words and now with the courts closed due to covid-19 what do I do to make sure he does not get permanent sole custody and to have my daughter home again.
Attorney Geary, this article message is precisely what is occurring as of March 28th 2020, (the worst time in u.s. history for the mom to make such a rash choice to “walk-out” of the family home with our 1yr old daughter)..Can we communicate please.
I have a court date soon as I filed the motion and today of all days is my daughters birthday-haven’t seen her since 3/28. We all lived in harmony same at our home since 2/18. You described her mindset and tactics to the letter. I’m afraid first and foremost the emotional damage (god forbid) all this may or is causing that precious angel. Mom is off the deep end-did a Dr. Jekyl and just as your artice describes. I need help. Have little $ now as lost job hrs from covid but I’m being calm and fighting with my mind and evidence yet mom is keeping her away and carrying on this charade that she feels the child is not safe around me.
As you know that’s stabs a decent fathers soul, but I can only pray for justice for my daughter. Still I’m very concerned and want her exposed for her treachery but most important simply my daughter. I pray this message reaches you well.
Scott Stebbins
Flushing, Michigan
[email protected]
Omg reading these stories my heart is breaking!!!! I went thru something similar but in the end karma came around and justice was served but it never would have been if left up to the courts. I dont understand how this continues, who is in charge here? WHY ISNT SOMETHING BEING DONE!!!! INNOCENT CHILDREN ARE BEING HARMED! THEY NEED BOTH PARENTS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU JUDGES COPS LAWYERS SOCIAL SERVICES!!!! Your suppose to be here to protect us and your failing us all! One day justice will be served on all of you and you better hope you did what you thought was in the best interests of the children you snatched away from loving parents! This is disgusting!
Ii have a common law wife with my child of 9 yrs old and is diagnosed as bi polar/ multipersonalities.She was convicted of a theft armed robbery and got 10 years probation.I can deal with her temper tamptrums turning my child against me.
Her mom is constantly calling police on me for her daughter’s false accusations.im 100,% disabled and a senior citizen.How do I get help when I’m on a fixed income
They got me paying back child support. One of the two children isn’t mine but they won’t do paternity test because we were married at the time. They take everything. Garnish my checks, my whole tax refund, and the whole stimulus check $1,200.
My estranged spouse claimed custody of my children illegally and was awarded support. I have proof that not only has this person never had physical custody of my kids, they are not even biologically related to them. Now the kids biological custodial parent, has been ordered to pay this person support and has had their paychecks garnished to satisfy the highly illegal support. Outside of blatant incompetence, I cannot come up with a rational explanation for this since I pay the exact same agency support for the same children TO the REAL custodial parent. Now the coronavirus has courts and social services closed, so I can’t report this completely ludicrous issue, when I call the police to report the theft it’s a “civil issue”. So I now pay child support to the custodial parent and they have to turn around and pay the same amount plus extra for arrears and they might lose their stimulus money to the non related, never custodial, liar while they are out on parole for meth charges. What do I do??? What do I do??
Alienated grandmother falsely accused and found unfit. My meth addicted daughter who carries a gun for a living got tired of hearing my lectures about the use of meth and children in the home, the danger of guns in the home with (unattended) children, the use of drugs while carrying a gun for a living etc…decided to show me. She packed herself and the kids and moved 1700 miles away. These kids have been my whole life. I am the parent not her, she would fall asleep after not sleeping for days and not wake up to get the kids from daycare, they had my number on speed dial and better believe each time they called I ran and picked them up. She is not a horrible mother, by any means, she is addicted and as such her decisions are not the best. There was a time when I thought she was the best mother Ive ever seen however that has obviously become less of a priority. Long story short, within 5 months of having the kids in Arizona, the very day I fly down to bring the kids christmas presents, the baby has a fall and is rushed to the e.r. she is nonresponsive. I have been in town less than 8 hours. I pace and pace because baby would not wake up when they left. I text my daughter because I know she will not answer at the hospital…she texts back the baby is gonna be ok.. mom, is there anything she could have gotten into in your stuff that could be bad for her? I said no of course not you know better. I texted her back and said is there anything in your room they could have found? She said no mom I swear. I texted back and said if there is you need to tell them or I will. She said no. That is the last I heard from her for hours. The other 4 children (my daughter’s other 3 and one of my sons daughters who flew in with me) were tired, it was late we all went to bed upon hearing the baby would be ok. An hour or so into sleep there is a bang on the door by detectives who just brushed past me and into the house with the 2 youngest kids on the couch where I was just laying with them, both of whom were getting over pneumonia sleeping and demanded to know what I gave the baby, what did the baby get into? I said what are you talking about? They said what did the baby get into we need to know now it will be better for you if you just tell us now. I said whoa do I need an attorney? They said why do you think you need an attorney? I said I dont even know what you are talking about all I know is the baby fell off the couch and hit her head and was unresponsive. At this point I am still not awake, I was woken out of a dead sleep..They proceeded to look around the living room stating your daughter knows we are here and we are talking to you she denies knowing what the baby got into, why don’t you just tell us and I said hold on, does my daughter not have a right under the 5th amendment to be protected from unlawful search and from self incrimination, do I not have a right to have a lawyer present for this questioning?? At this point I was so confused about what was going on i asked “is my grandaughter ok?” he said you dont know? I said obviously not, he said I cant tell you anything without your lawyer present but have a seat back on the couch and we will obtain a warrant like you requested. I said fine, I will call a lawyer, and I went for my cell phone. I was told I could not use that as it is evidence…I was like what???? he said it is evidence you are not allowed to use that. evidence of what I said. He told me to sit and be quiet. About an hour later, with the detectives still standing uninvited and unwanted in the midde of my daughters living room another investigator shows up with a warrant. I asked to see it and was shown the warrant briefly it seemed legit but what caught my eye was that the warrant was for drugs, paraphernalia and indeed, my phone with suspicion that a crime was committed in the state of AZ and that crime being child abuse. I also saw that the allegations were made by none other than my daughter. In an attempt to remain out of the system she told the investigators that she did not do drugs, and did not know how the meth got into the baby’s system an nobody that she knows does meth, the only one in her house is her mother but she just got here and doesn’t know anyone here and has not had time to leave the house to find meth, thereby implying that it was my meth that the baby obtained. We were all shuffled outside to a van to wait while the house was searched. In my daughters room they discovered meth residue on a credit card bearing her name, and various other items that were of no consequence. They did not find anything in my belongings or on my presence. When my daughter returned with the baby I confronted her on the allegation she said “get the f*** out of here I never said that and the warrant does not say that at all” I knew right then it was true she had said it. Within an hour of her returning from the hospital DCS came and took the kids. Because of my daughters accusation, the judge ruled me unfit to act as either collateral contact or safety plan contact or to care for the kids.They requested hair follicle and urine from my daughter who complied, and urine from me, for which I tried to comply going to their testing site two days in a row only to be turned away because the sent no referral. The following day my daughter had an initial team meeting to come up with a case plan for reunification and I asked about the referral for myself. DCS said because I was leaving the next day and the results would not change the outcome of the case plan anyway they were no longer requesting the UA. I was flabbergasted. This left me with no way to prove my fitness. As you can imagine, my daughter is still claiming innocence to her lawyer and she tells me absolutely less than nothing. I am the enemy after all she moved 1700 miles away only to have my warnings become a reality. I am not a party to the case so I can get no information whatsoever from anyone. I have attended all of the hearings and court cases to date but am not acknowledged in the courtroom on record. In 9 days there will be a permanency hearing for the baby. I refuse to miss it, however my attendance will go unrecorded as usual and I will seem disinterested in the eyes of the court. I am just to accept that these children that I have given up my life for and taken jobs only if they left me open during the hours I may be needed for and taken my daughter’s physical and emotional abuse for just disappear as if I an the relationship we have do not exist. She seems to have exacted the perfect revenge on me for being a mother who cares, for being the only voice of reason and for caring enough to speak up. She cut off her nose to spite her face and I cant do anything about it. I do not have the money for an attorney. I can barely afford to fly for the hearings and when I do it sometimes leaves me hungry but the kids mean everything to me.
My ex wife is from the Philippines and has filed for child support, used that money to purchase items from the store and sends them to the Philippines for her family there. All the while I have been buying my sons clothes as she has him in items way to small from him (i.e. size 8 when he wears size 12-14). Doesnt buy him things like entertainment; i pay for his internet, cable, clothes, games, xbox live, netflix, phone, the works and still have payments deducted for child support out of my paycheck. Ive always voiced my frustration regarding how she has to focus on her family here first before the Philippines. She says im harrassing her about the child support and she just gave me a money order “paying me back” for what was deducted out of my paychecks saying she was tired of the harrassment about the child support and said she called the attorney general to cancel the child support. What am I suppose to do with this money order and would there be repercussions for depositing it? All of this money came from the child support card. She did all of this at her will but says she is tired of me harrassing her about buying our son clothes that fit and not sending money to the Philippines but makes it appear like im forcing her to give me money from child support.
Im a disabled veteran btw.
I am a 68 year old great grandmother who has falsely accused by my granddaughters ex-boyfriend’s family of abusing my 4 year old great granddaughter in order for him to get primary custody of the child. I live on social security and do not have money for an attorney. What can I do about this?
I’m a mother in Ohio who has had her 3 boys taken from shared to one 2hr weekly supervised visit due to my ex-husband and his false accusations.
My son who lives in MO had physical custody of his son for 5 years and the mother every other weekend visits. The mother has done nothing but cause trouble for him ever since she lost full custody. She has filed false abuse claims in 4 counties and finally got one county to listen. She even took him to two different police stations the one in Bolivar, MO and the other in Springfield MO to have pictures taken of “supposed” marks on his neck and throat to which both set of officers reports show that there were no marks or signs of abuse. She then filed a cps report claiming abuse and since that county is strictly a mother’s rights county. They sided with her and jerked my son away from him and placed him with her. My grandson was questioned and told several stories that did not match and even the interviewer stated that his story kept changing. At one point during the questioning he even stated that is what his mom told him to say. It has not been 1 year since this started and my son was never found guilty, instead when they did not have enough evidence, it got changed over to him not getting him back because him and the mom could not get along and all she was wanting was for him to sign the child over to her, but he refused. My son has jumped through every hoop that they have gave him doing all the things to get his son back, and they just keep helping the mom and not even trying to help put his son back with him. During the first meeting with CPS the moms boyfriend actually made the statement that he had taken the child down to the ground and sat on him, which is what my son was being accused on doing. My son called it to their attention but they did not care. On Christmas Eve the boyfriend and mom were stopped and the boyfriend was combative with the police so they arrested him, they found pot in the back floorboard, but not enough to charge him, again CPS slapped them on the wrist and did nothing. On New Years Eve my grandson called his dad crying and upset because the boyfriend had beat him with a belt and hit him in the back. The mom was right there and even told my son that she had him call. Then when CPS questioned her, she lied to them for over 24 hrs saying that she had done it. My son had already sent the recorded call of my grandson to them so they knew she was lying and again a slap on the wrist and dont do it again. CPS has allowed my grandson to be abused and alienated from his dad, and nothing is being done to the mom. She continually lies to the case worker and it is just ok. What can we do???
I have a 16 year old smart beautiful well cared for daughter and her father since the day she was born has continuously taking me to court over and over again. Everytime its alligations and I have won everytime but it affects my child and me in the worst way. Am i able to take him to court for the non stop harrasment?
What happens when an attorney for the respondent against me has 2 cases for myself and another mom fighting for children visitation after I, the defendant, had won sole legal and physical custody of children? He sent a letter to the other ex he was fighting for stating he is no longer representing the client (the respondent due to no contact with him), but the attorney still appeared at my case in court and made allegations that were not true and the paper his ex gave me shows he has had any contact with the attorney so he falsified saying I have not allowed visitation to him even tho I did and only stopped due to my children seeing him getting high with his girlfriend in the house.
My step-daughter’s mother was killed in a car accident in 2016. The following week, her mother (the grandmother) took pills from my husband and called family services that he was selling drugs. Child is removed and placed in her care. She has, on several occasions, blamed him for her daugher’s death (she was the only one in the vehicle coming home from work, fell asleep at the wheel ,hit another car head-on). The grandmother called his probation officer with false accusations of threatening. He was grieving and suicidal and that time. He went to prison for 7 months on a 120 (supposed to b a 4 month probation revocation) and had to sign over guardianship. He came out, changed his life, worked hard, and we met.
Two years ago, Grandma cussed him for replacing her daughter. He’s seen his daughter 5 times since 2016. Lately we have been attacked with new accusations to child service and had unfounded investigations. We have had to accept with no “admission of fault” a protection order on his former step daughter. And the one with his daughter was dropped because we had texts where she told us to come where she was and took pictures of us at a public event. It was filed with false accusations of child sodomy (supposedly before the mother died in 2016). The report stated that friends watched and family was at home. We also had witnesses ready to testify that they would not watch anyone sodomize a child. Just utter bull.
The child was afraid we were going to file for custody of her sister when she made these allegations. She has on several occasions asked to break the order to see him because she knows him as her father. The grandmother stays in contact and has no legal obligation to do so. I know if I thought for a second my daughters were being hurt, you’d never hear from me again.
Now we are left looking like child molesters (the way they wrote up our protection order for all to see including juvenile names). With no rights to his daughter. Not only did her mother die, her grandmother did her best to kill her father. She has done everything she can, legally, to make him feel the pain of losing a child.
I feel sorry for the other families out there like ours.
The reason this continues to happen is because there is no recourse for lying to a judge in family court. Baseline law should set 50/50 visitation and fixed rate child support payments per zip code. Reduce litigation, remove the conflict incentives. It’d be easy to fix, but lawyers would stop getting paid, which means our children will continue to pay the suffer. Parental alienation is real.
I’ve raised my daughter as a single parent for 11years father deems me out the blue as a bad mother brings up allegations win the case and i lose my child to a mentally ill father that gave up his rights to all of his other kids I’m appalled at the Tucson Arizona superior court system and a judge Segal and attorney Matthew Randle.
I swore when I would date or become involved, or married I would never ever raise my hands to the woman I Loved! Or any woman. Many years later I would meet a troubled woman That was kind and had a very pure heart her smile took my breath away she was living with friends but she and I fell in love she then moved in with me and her and I enjoyed so much fun good times and wonderful love I would learn many things about her that may perhaps make some people judgmental but not me after all everyone should always have a chance at fresh start ,I also learned she had a daughter living with her Aunt that she informed she had no choice but to surrender her care and custody because she claimed she just did not have the resources and the daughter was in fact being well taken care of by the Aunt Well my girlfriend also had no drivers license so she had to rely on me for transportation which I did not mind. I would always learn my girlfriend also had a Son from another relationship and for basically the same reasons was unable to care for the child and allowed the father this time to have full custody of her son. I of course stressed my girlfriend be apart of her children life and if at anytime she wanted to see them I would be happy to drive her or they were to stay with us.
Well after living together for a few years our first child is born and what a adventure more good times and adventure. My girl friend begins to become a little withdrawn and she became frustrated our son does not take to breast feeding, we then begin to drift apart a little our first arguments end in kissing and making up. We then begin not to kiss and make up, I see her social media pages and she is talking to other men our relationship is really strained. It is very very important to stress never once at anytime never hitting or never any threats just rude comments and insults were the words used against each other not any fun actually very sad. Well I come home from work one day and she is gone with my son and some personal belongings I cannot believe this I am sick to my stomach on the verge of a nervous breakdown days go by what happen next I get a knock on the door its the sheriffs department oh good maybe they found her and my son? Instead no I am served with a restraining order that says I told her one day when we argued her days are numbered and she claimed she was scared and went to a shelter? I feel awful! Verbal abuse?? I hire a Lawyer and after a few court trips her and I reunite she tells me the shelter was not for this her and I getting back together in fact they would have special groups that pounded into the woman head That I man who verbally insults no matter what should never be forgiven and should never be allowed to see his children and frowned totally against any of this?? I was confused? My girl friend and I did agree one very important measure we should look into for our son and that would be counseling however this shelter would pay for the counseling for the woman if she remained single not if she would get back together with her boyfriend ??? We need counseling bad we need to do things right so I ask her to marry me and she says yes. Well we decide together lets have another child and we have another son and this time we work together and things appear to be going well we even buy a bigger house together and I begin to notice her and I are as not as affectionate towards one another after our second son is born and I ask hey honey how come we never have any date nights anymore? And we have long talk s that really does not resolve things but we are traveling a lot and doing a lot of out of the house activities and before you no it years have gone by and once again I catch her talking to another guy on the social media and this breaks my heart and we begin to argue again this time saying more nasty things to each other I suggest honey please lets do counseling she refuses my family visits for the holidays and suggest we go to counseling the stress levels in the house are not good so I suggest hey do you need a part time job to get out of the house a little you know make your own money so I am not so over bearing? Well she gets a job and I take her and pick her up and watch the kids while she works. Well we start becoming very distant from each no affection as matter of fact nothing but insults towards each other and darn it I hate my self for all the negative things I said to her! I do I really am upset but she would insult me and yelled at me and it was like I am not letting you win?? And again we are repeating what took place 8 years ago and this time I tell her hey you know something move out go?? But I want my kids the poor boys our children stuck in the middle, well mothers day rolls on by and I figure let me do the old kiss and make up I say you want dinner honey? She says yes well I go pick up dinner and I walk into my house and she is gone again and with my 2 sons also I just breakdown and cannot deal rationally I am just destroyed I say things I cannot even remember and sure enough I am served with a restraining order again this time though I may have really threatened her and acted like a idiot 13 and a half years gone just like that! What happened?? I remember my step dad beating my Mother I never laid a hand on my girl friend I could never it makes me sick to my stomach even talking about such a disgusting act of violence! But is arguing domestic violence??? I do not understand I remember my great grandpa and grandma argue oh boy it sounded like World War 3 and they were married for 60 years I have the newspaper article that was written about there marriage how hey were best friends at the end of the day no matter what?? So tell me what happened and does this have be a broken home?? Why?? My one true Love I miss her so much and my 2 sons I am ok with her having space? I really am right now but did I not suffer emotional stress also?? Which is no excuse to lash out with negative comments maybe if we would have undergone counseling?? I do not have the answers I am not a angel in this thing we call relationships But I know I am willing to always take a step back ward and seek advice and listen and try what ever makes a family become a happy family again not even for me right now but for the children so the children can grow up and maybe have a healthy functional positive relationship?? Thank you for reading my true story
At this very moment the settlement offer is still on the table and my girl friend is represented by a pro bono attorney and to this very day I have not seen or spoken with my 2 sons as of today I have no idea where or what shelter they are housed in and am afraid every moment of every day if my 2 sons are ok? I have retained a Lawyer and I have dozens of witnesses that will testify if needed to the very fact I worshipped my sons and spoiled both equally and loved doing so I never even spanked my 2 boys I would rather hug them! I was the sole financial provider and the mother has no full time employment no car or drivers license and only was able to have part time employment 2 years out of the 14 year relationship. Right now there a systematic machine that has entangled itself within my family and the procedure and individuals outside of my family are only causing more harm then good Why is family right now broken? A father that cannot do anything but watch worry and live in sadness? I am requesting all help and donations so this story can get out and all my attorney fees not destroy my family. Below is copy of a podcast link where my 10 year son called into and begged for me to come rescue him and the courts claimed I was wrong by allowing my son to believe he was kidnapped ! And I was not a good Father because I was in fear and told my Son one way or another I would get my son away from a shelter that designed to break up the American family. We stop these shelters agenda s and restore the American family together not divided!!!
It s so important to point out we had a signed agreement for co parenting but becuae of the false allegations of verbal verbal I now no longer have contact with my 2 sons is there anyone that can help??
My abusive ex tricked me in to marriage. He then gave up all rights to his 3 children with previous wife. He quit a very good job and left us to go hungry. I started worked and he would lock our daughter and my daughter in house while he sat at my job for hours eating. Dared me to leave. I would cry that something could happen. He would not feed the girls wouldn’t take out garbage or any thing physical. When not watching me work he was on the couch while girls were hungry and dirty. Said he didn’t have to. I had to sleep with our daughter because when she had dreams he refused to put on clothes so she could sleep with us. Pervert. 0
His brother was a Louisville cop who every day was drunk on duty driving patrol car. Even tried pulling me in it a few times then threatened me off I told.
The girls pleaded not to go to his alcoholic mothers with his nieces and nephews doing so much cocaine their noses bled.
But the day I said I was fed up he took our daughter and used aliases to hide her. At a court session he stood beside judge and they both laughed at me.
He became wealthy and years later sued me for arrears from my tiny SSD. Lost hip to bone cancer. He got it. I lost my freedom. Couldn’t leave country with My sweetheart who wanted to take me to Spain and Australia. He’s passed away now.
I live in a old camper with holes in floor while he lives in luxury. Yet our daughter called me from Indiana that she and granddaughter were homeless. I went and brought them here to live with me in camper. He owns houses.
So much abuse I dealt with.
All because he had a cop brother.
I even showed judge the proof of aliases he used. But judge put that I abandoned her.
Real christians right?
I was so amazed to find this article because when something like this happens to you it’s incredibly difficult to believe you aren’t alone. I went through being falsely accused of abusing my pain medication 5 years ago which is basically impossible in the state of Florida because of the massive DEA crackdowns on pain clinics throughout the state and the strict numbers of narcotics any pharmacy can have in their inventory pet per month..without exclusion. I was on a fentanyl patch and Percocet and hated even taking the Percocet because of the potential for liver damage. I’d already had my gallbladder removed. My ex husband told me to my face that he hated paying me could child support. That it was the worst thing about divorcing me. He manipulated me to enable himself the opportunity to take it our children out of their schools in our county and enroll them in schools in his county over Christmas break and didn’t tell me about it until the day before the are you l to come home. If He moved without telling me where, got married behind everyone’s back including our children’s and didn’t say anything about it until the next year during tax season when they called me to tell me to give back my refund so they could file their taxes and his new wife could claim them. Needless to say it got ugly. My husband and I already had known for 8 months but didn’t feel it was our place to tell them. I was incredibly sick at the time and had and still have numerous pain disorders and could barely walk from one end of my house to the other. But somehow I managed to come up with enough Percocet to abuse it. We had a hearing to simply determine that the kids were fine where they were and instead he attacked me with accusations of being abusive with my Percocet..not my fentanyl, but my Percocet. The judge didn’t even require proof. He just said that there was no way someone could be on Percocet for three years and not be an addict. So he got my kids and relentlessly attacked me every single chance he got. Good His wife bad mouthed me everyday and 11 years later they are still doing everything possible to make my life difficult. They’ve kept my children from me wherever it’s suited them and have made my life hell. It’s caused irreparable damage to my children. One I haven’t seen in 5 years due to them talking endlessly talking badly. I did raise my son and am very proud of him. My two younger children love me to death and he and his wife still do whatever they can to keep us apart. They just used the pandemic to keep them from me for the past three months because my daughter has asthma. On their last visit I found out their step mother had been man handling my daughter and he didn’t even tell me. Apparently it was the first time. Now I have to figure out what to do about that when he’s managed to take away my custody rights. I’ve never had an addictive personality. I was raised very healthy and would have never misused any of my medications. He didn’t want to pay child support. He pulled it off and it destroyed my marriage, my family and my life. I’d really like to know why these two people offered up such an incredibly inciteful article and then walk away without offering a lick of advice afterwards.
Hello I am 100 percent service connected for ptsd and tbi I served from April 2003 till aprill 2011 my last tour was 3 back to back so 18 months in al anbar province as a transport 50 cal gun crew and driver. I am sgt was honorable discharged from reserves after finishing the time eventhough I had already been diagnosed with 100 percent for multiple reasons. I got addicted to pain pills from my nose getting smashed in a couple incidents in Fallujah and Ramadi. I wouldn’t do anything about it cause I had a team then. I was promoted fastly and within 2 years was sgt so while deployed and I was responsible for my 5 man team. If I went home I would never been able to feel ok. Well I been married 11 years and I have stayed at home and love my 3 year old now. she has been able to get this lawyer who tells graphic novels of nothing I have done but could be there he assumes. My father was put as supervisor I went from having full custody and raising my daughter to her not answering the phone and not telling me anything on my birthday while my entire family came out to celebrate mine and my daughter. my wife then started the plan I find out that has been in progress before we bought the house. I hafe all the proof she left for a guy she had a affair with but now I never see my daughter and she has alienated my whole family like she did me . My mother has cancer and loves my daughter I love my daughter . this is the nightmare worse than I know.. She honestly wants me dead so she can have the money she feels she should get va benefits even though we weren’t married at all during my tours and she is saying how there is drugs everywhere making up all this shit. I need help. I am on my 3rd lawyer and everybody treats me like I am the problem. My family always took her side. I didn’t know what she was telling them about me but after 11 years and we tried all of them fertility clinics and finally had a kid and boght house for her to have her bf of all time and my kid and my money. My 3 yo said daddy mom new friend shoot you and your car. really need help. Thanks for your service,
My childrens father called dcfs repetedly, cases unfounded, eventually I had to go to court, failed services so i was forced to sign my children over because his family wanted them, 11 years ago when my children were 4 and 5 years old was the last time i seen them at a baby fold visit, their grandmothers tell then that I didn’t give birth to them, that I am not their mother, no letters no pictures no contact at all, i hadn’t hired a lawyer because i was to young when i got pregnant at 16 their fathers were over 21 years old, i feel their famalies targeted me to get pregnant and stalked me out because i was poorer and a teenager, now that they have my children their still trying to stalk me to see if they can get away with calling dcfs on me again if i ever get pregnant in the future, My name is Amanda Rose Robbins from bloomington Illinois and my life goals were to ve a mother and a wife and not much more, how can they get away with this? Just because of my past mental health issue of bi polar? Thats why the dcfs removed them from my custody! I still have my court paper work, i just don’t want this to happen again!
hi I have been on child support since I was 17 and I’m now 29 and my daughter is 13 my sister has custody and she’s been keeping my daughter from me and she lied to get her but I was young and didn’t know about the system and now i’m trying to get my daughter back so she can bond with her siblings.
I need to know if this is a case I need a lawyer for false allegations I’m the victim my husband stab me with a knife I call the police he leave gointget our son police stop him take hi to jail police drive his car hoe park it Tak my son to cps when they could of brought him to me sent e to hospital Putin police report boths parents been arrested didn’t give my husband no DUI child endangerment didn’t tow his car nothin an my son is still out the home never seen the stabbing or nothin
I’m going through exactly this!!!! with covid 19 delaying any court hearing and the fact that the child protective services Investigation has been done and these extreme claims made against me were all unfounded I have not seen my children in over 13 months. I have reached out to their mother who uses covid as an excuse why I cant see them. I cant believe this is legal to do to those boys and I. We were best buddies and I showed them nothing but unconditional love ,support and friendship. Make sure you get the right lawyer people I am unsatisfied with the representation I paid for.
I really wish you were in Austin. Heartbroken for my girls who were used as tools in a months long crazy-making scheme. Devastated that my now ex taught them to lie and attempt to incite paranoia. I received what I perceived to be a death threat against one of our children and despite awareness that this threat might be manufactured I called him and the police. I don’t gamble with the lives of the girls. He got custody.
I don’t even think the judges read anything put before them. I am going through a long divorce. Someone I didn’t even know was able to file for guardianship of my daughter without them even giving me notice. I know about “due diligence” and all he put was “Mother’s address unknown” Yet in that same file he filed it gives my address. He had also messaged me on Facebook. The courts let this man legally kidnap my child and hasn’t let me see or talk to her in 2 years. I feel like the court took any rights away from me.
What are your thoughts of a father that has 3 DUI’s, Felony Drug charges, felony domestic battery and continued down this same path after the break up and we have a child together. He is remarried has two new children and continued to physically abuse the wife while pregnant in front of our child, smoke marijuana around the children and have our child open beers and hand them to him while driving. Then the father has threatened our daughter if she tells anyone that he will go to jail for a long time and not see her. What do you do in this matter/
My ex neglected our daughter, I threaten to report his neglect to DHS. He turned around and made false allegations about me. Dhs substantiated his accusations because he had our daughter go along with his lies by intimidation and bribery. It’s been 4 MONTHS and 2 days since I’ve seen my daughter, whom I had a very close bond with. She called me at work last week (the first time I’ve heard from her) and said he told her if she talked to or seen me she would go into foster care. He told her if she told anyone, her therapist, DHS, friends, family that he made her lie about it then she would go straight into foster care!!!!! We talked for nearly an hour and half of it was her just crying!!! This perjury, trauma, manipulation and alienation has to be illegal, right? I’ve exhausted all of my financial resources and liquidated everything I can to get her back but still haven’t. What can I do? Please help me. My heart is so heavy every single day with what she’s going through.
Omg i need find a lawyer will fight for me i juat beat a care and protection hearing dcf did not get custody of my baby report was all fabricated the need of custody and dcf didnt even properly investigate nor did they investigate the allegations of the 51a reports filed just tried to hurt my family instead of help i could go on forever so much they did wrong said docs told storys i have proof they lies said police told storys ibhave proof its lies etc
My bf is currently going through this we have been trying to get his ex to sign the divorce and custody agreement for 2 years we have had his lawyer write up 3 different agreements in which she said prior to the final copy that she agreed then just never signs and waits to find something new she doesn’t like (she really wants to move but we are not willing to move) she has called cps 3 times now in the span of two years and just recently accused my bf of sexual abuse because we are now pushing for court which we wanted to avoid because it is very costly but felt we would make one last attempt to push for mediation and when she didn’t respond within a two week span we would go forward with court. So she had a forensic interview done with his youngest daughter who she said that daddy itched her over her cloths which we are just dumbfounded at this point because this man is an amazing father to his girls and our son he is so upset and scared he’s going to loose them forever over something that just isn’t true
Narcissist use the system and the courts to abuse people and children. Domestic violence victim should be given a free attorney to protect the victim not just the abuser / defendant.
How do you beat allegations made an aunt who’s never been in this childs life and the father is deceased and all she wants is money and revenge and she has corrupt police in her family ?
Its happed to a friend of mine arrested and bail denied, awaiting to appeal bail. The system is messed up guilty until proven innocent.
This is what’s happening in my case even though child services said it’s unfounded she got a emergency petition it’s crazy how a parent doesn’t think about the kids when making them lie about a parent that they loved it’s disgusting that parent should be locked up there’s nothing worse then corruption of a child
I read through this hoping for insight or advice and found little relief. This is a situation my spouse is facing with his ex, sudden false allegations after peaceful coparenting for almost two years. Now she’s withholding visitation and even going so far as to mark the child herself during her time and take photos to try and blame on my spouse.
It’s incredibly challenging and we can’t really afford a lawyer.
Thanks so much for your insight. I have a court date coming up and my ex has told everyone I had raped her which has produced a child. I assure you I never raped her. We had been together 13 years and have text where she is laughing about that evening. I need a lawyer in louisiana. Can you refer me to someone.
Exactly what happens with the ex’s of my husband and his son. She’s obsessed about us and she make false allegations of us . She’s lies about everything and now it’s a year she doesn’t let see his son.
To answer the question probably a parent that would actually do something like that would be a malicious self-righteous step-parent who has their own personal issues they are trying to rectify internally. Step parents who value being right at all costs blinds them into serving all the wrong causes. They self righteously triangulate lies into reality so they themselves can feel like a better parent and a overall good person with valued purpose in their life. They over-exaggerate their achievements while keeping a safe distance to observe & not actually jump in to get their hands dirty. They make false claims to work work work and never actually do the work themselves to accurately judge.
It is interesting that you say “vote for a change” but I think it’s bigger than that. Someone should be lobbying for this change, highlighting the broken system that allows for false claims to get filed with no support and then putting the burden on the accused to prove their innocence. Our laws were supposed to have been built for justice, and yet the family law system gives an advantage to the guilty. Judges are consistently ignoring the law that no change should occur in a parenting plan unless the other party can prove the current plan isn’t working (best interest of the child). This enables consistent modification request filings every 2 years regardless of whether anything has changed. It’s a profit center for the courts and an open door for harassment of proper parents by ex-spouses who use the children as a means to do so.
This is exactly what has happened to my son. It was all about money. She came to me a week after they were married wanting me to pay off $18000 in credit card debt. I refused! She wanted a new car and a new house. She’s used the kids as pawns for 17 years. He went after joint custody and she made false accusations against him. She used the oldest one in a scheme to have him arrested, the other child had to get the phone and go out into the woods to secretly talk to her dad. The court system failed these two children.
I have been in custody for two years almost with my son DFS has been called twice and it seems it’s always right when we are about to go to court with false allegations this time the children’s division worker who came is affiliated with my son and sons girlfriend who also works for DFS and within less than 20 min of talking to her she had her mind made up and said she will be putting me in a POE which I asked what that was a used a personal topic and I felt personally attacked she was also asking questions that didn’t relate to the matter at hand I have my son in therapy for the last 8 mths and she questioned if I was friends with his therapist which I am not I have been alienated from him and his father u dermines me and has caused anxiety for my son.
My son is being dragged in the dirt because ex has a new boyfriend and wants my son completely out of the picture. The article describes our story our nightmare. Its scary that the court also seems to be bias to mothers in court. I’ve been reading through some replies to get help, to seek guidance has anyone had any luck?
How can I get my kids back whn they were put in my mother care from false affidavit
I love my daughter so much and I would never hurt her. She is almost 12 years old now and what you described here is exactly what we are going through. We divorced when she was only 6 months old and for 10 years got along. Then one day we had a falling out over a disagreement on medicine and it turned into a long custody battle going on for almost 2 years now. The Covid19 virus helped to drag it out. All of a sudden one day it turned into abuse allegations and I never saw it coming was a complete surprise when police came knocking at my door and took her away. A month later still haven’t seen or talked to her and waiting on the next temporary hearing. Just a messed up situation we don’t deserve. I have been a good father and I love that little girl.
Yes, this is so true false allegations. There should be a huge fine and a disciplinary action for people who lie under oath in court. I gave lots of evidence from recordings to documents. However if I can’t get 30 or 40 thousand dollars gathered I can’t find a attorney to take my case. Its sad very sad. Kidnapping children is wrong.
I dont even know where to start when It comes to my soon to be exwife and her false accusations. Im serious i need to find a lawyer that will go after her and her fake lawyer for telling me the yhings he has told me about the case and invited me over to his house telling me he cant stand her and he cant believe the things she had been telling him making me out to be a monster he even had me give him a bid on framing his basement and because i won’t sign yhe papers he prepared because theres no way im goimg to stop fighting for my son when she got temp custody and everything based on lies im talking every oart of our papers is a lie. If anyone can help me please gicr me a call 3853751010 she has taken all my money and keeps my son from me and has had me thrown in jail like 6 times bases on lies please someine help me i am begging
I need help. I was treated like a piece of crap. In my adoption case by the judge cps workers and more my own court appointed attorney even treated me like I was scum. An there judging me for being in a treatment program, an judging me by the history in my family. Now I can’t even see my daughter at all an can barely see my son. An for what wanting what’s best for my children and adopting them out to the father’s family so I can still be in there life’s an watch them grow up an learn. I even do weekly drug tests. So why order in court that my drug use puts the children in immediate danger. In both court hearings three years apart. I need help an legal advice. Please I’m not married I was almost murdered in 2017 by three people a female an two male out me in hospital wv university. With a infectious rare blood disease an now I’m blind in one eye. I’m disabled and can’t work because of this. But that doesn’t mean I should be ordered to nor see my children until there of legal age 18yrs old…
I have joint custody, but had to move back home after the divorce. My ex gave me permission through a text that I could come get the kids. He wasn’t well and ended up driving off a cliff and ended up in the ICU. I went and got my kids and when I did they told me he was drinking a lot and became abusive. So when he got out of the hospital, I wouldn’t give them back. He ended up going to court lying about everything saying I kidnapped them, which in KY is a felony, so now they’re trying to charge me with two. He had me indicted and now two years later realized he ruined my career. Says he wants to drop the charges. Please someone help me! I’ve already had two lawyers that took my money and did absolutely nothing!
Above describes my situation to a T… it follows the exact form in which they moved along to end where we are. I was accused of sexual assault by way of touching my daughters knee. Now as it stands I was told I can never have a relationship with her. They manipulated her into writing a journal entry they presented to the court. This happened 3 days ago, and 2 days ago they offered to attempt to come up with a resolution out of court to present to a judge and in that they mention temporary visitation. Anyone who can see as I was labeled a sexual predator one day and then offered temporary visitation the next can see this is garbage. Ive been fighting for my kids for 11 years, I have had custody of both girls for over 8yrs and now the table turned. They tried every exparte offering they could in the last three months and we knew this could be a last straw.
Read the book Divorce Poison it is also an exact replication of the above and describes in detail how things get to this point. Wishing anyone who is going through this the best of luck. As a criminal attorney stated to me, “You woke up at 8am with 2 daughters and it is now 2pm, you have only one daughter and you must look at life this way forever.” We live in a state with no statute of limitations so these allegations if not proved false in court could linger over my head for leverage forever.
My daughter is 18 months old i have never had a relationship with her father we have never been married pretty much 1 nite stand he does pay child support and he put his name on birth certificate after he had d and a done.He seen her 1 time when she was 8 weeks old now he wants full custody she has always been with me. he claims i am a drug addict and drunk which both are untrue now he is trying to get interm parenting i dont know what this means i have no charges against me and i am a great mother i do have a attonery but i am scared hes going to win .
I had cps case didn’t have a lawyer was not allow to say anything the still had all the hearing never got papers after court the dismissal date was on 24 Aug. Went to court nobody was there then later found out it was moved to Sept.18 never got anything in the mail. When I called they said sorry it was moved to the 18 of Sept. So when I upmto court a lawyer show up to for me he doesn’t k or anything about the case I had evidence showing that the case workerlied about every thing bit was not allowed to say anything and my lawyer didn’t not even try to help me what can I do to get my kids back my daughter has been abuse in the foster care cps removed them from there but it should have never happened they took them with out a courtorder
I know I was done wrong in the family court system. The judge have full custody to my exe who’s sexually abused my daughter since she was 6. I had her for 10 yrs. She’s 10 now.
I can totally relate…I have lost al faith in the corrupt justice system and DHS/CPS are all about meeting a certain quota for funding, not the truth. The Dhs worker in Kay County is corrupt. My cousin (former mayor) testified against her father (a former judge) who now has a deferred sentence. So she took my daughters dads side all for a false allegation! The DA could even tell it was a downright lie and wouldn’t move on it!!! But my faith in the Lord is unwavering so all we have to do is press my point of my post is no matter how corrupt the system and its workers are the Lord is greater… It’s just a bummer for us that cannot afford a trial
Now my daughters In a home that she is scared sometimes to the point where she hast to call her grandmother because her dad and stepmother getting such bad physical fights… She has been cutting herself, selling more than half of her classes when she was a former ANB student with numerous unexcused absences, started a fight at school, has been detained at school and had to tension at school… What else does Dhs need in order to make it right? Are they going to wait until she commits suicide to make it right?… In a home that she is scared sometimes to the point where she hast to call her grandmother because her dad and stepmother getting such bad physical fights… She has been cutting herself, selling more than half of her classes when she was a former ANB student with numerous unexcused absences, started a fight at school, has been detained at school and had to tension at school… What else does Dhs need in order to make it right? Are they going to wait until she commits suicide to make it right?…Everything that my daughter is going through is on The corrupt DHS workers hands. Taking her out of a wonderful home out of spite for what my cousin did to her dad… It should be conflict of interest and I should’ve gotten a different worker. The trauma and damage that my daughter has underwent and still is going to undergo and there’s nothing I can do… But pray I have faith the Lord will make it right
I have been fight to get my son back after his father brought false charges up against me claiming I left marks on my son from a spanking. I even texted him asking him about 2 sores I saw on my son and he replied in text that he got them from sticking himself. 2 weeks later DCFS calls me saying I’m being investigated for abuse. Even when I show them the text, they still believed him over me. Somehow he has scared my son into saying I did it. Its has been 1yr and 9months since I have seen my son. I was granted virtual visits in November and he has yet to let me see him. He know once my child see and talk to me his lies are going to come out and he is doing everything in his power to make sure that doesn’t happen. He does not work or have a license. I have always been my sons provider. He has never paid any CS to me and this is his way of trying to get out of it. I should of seen the sign. He had already been manipulating him during his visits and he knew I was going to stop letting him go over there as much anymore. This was his last effort to set me up so he could get his way. Even thought I had custody of my son, I never held it against him, I wanted my son to have his father in his life no matter how we felt about each other. I’m just pray that the judge can see through the lies and his arrogant ways and most of all I just want the real truth to come out. This has turned my life upside down in so many way. I did nothing to deserve any of this, but here I am.. still fighting for the truth..
I am going through all of this and am very close to losing sole custody, after 3 modification attempts to get change guardian of our child. Several untrue accusations and charges made each time. The judge keeps going on to the next stage in court even without me having time or money to retain a lawyer. The judge and his attorney seems to be pushing it as fast as possible. How can I get a continuance without an attorney, so I don’t end up without a lawyer (self representing is automatic loss)? Also can I ask for him to do parenting classes to address the issues of his harassment in his own order to modify?
I’m going through this with my sister taking me to court for temp non parental custody. She lied and made up all kinds of crap to make me look like the monster parent after I asked her to help me with my daughter while i figured out what I was going to do getting out of a DV relationship. I got served with papers saying I abandoned, neglected, didn’t give her no food diapers, wipes, clothes nothing. When I took diapers there on several occasions with a witness and food she even gave me back three bags of clothes and two with baby food she said she didn’t need. She has the GAL believing I’m horrible and threatening to take my visits if i don’t get a covid test. The GAL is in contempt with my visits already and last court hearing the judge wasn’t to happy with her for not giving me a visit for 28 days after I asked every day and was told we would need to go to court. I am so stressed out and pissed my sister was asked to help me not take my kid. Oh and after 5 weeks of having her she called cps and made a report, and in the court papers after 6 weeks of having her asked to claim her on her taxes which she only had her 5 months out of the year. Her mom adopted me from my mom when I was 5 she seems to be trying to do the same thing
Me and my wife are going through the same situation we were separating and I wanted custody of the kids and she wanted to see the kids I lied and got a domestic violence restraining order against her to keep custody of the kids but not with the intent of her not having access for a communication or time with the kids but for the purpose of getting back at her for cheating and then after I was given temporary custody of the kids she called CPS on me and lied about me To get the kids taken away for me and give them to her and then CPS took the kids from both of us because I was leaving the kids with the mother For visitations and it was court ordered by the Family Court for her to get three days a week for two hours to see the kids and spend time with them with whoever I chose to supervise the visit now CPS said that because there was no documentation to support that even though that the court was supposed to import CPS of the court order for her to have visitation CPS took the kids from both Of us because they said that I was not supposed to let her see the kids and there was no paperwork stating otherwise in their eyes then after I provided the proof from the Family Court showing the new order stating that she has visitation the juvenile court gave me the kids back and then after a month and a half goes by CPS came and did an unannounced visit and seeing that I was there with the mother and got a order to take the kids away from us again then after six months of us getting continued court case dates the judge is been influenced by the CPS worker stating that the domestic violence is continuing in the home even though there was never domestic violence and the reason why they took the kids a second time was because they said I had failure to protect and now after a phone call from my lawyer to the CPS lady they changed it to I am the domestic violence perpetrator and that they require me to take classes and the kids can’t come back home because there’s ongoing domestic violence in the home which is not true because my wife even stated that that The CPS lady is lying about my wife telling her that there was domestic violence going on in the home my wife never said that to her so they’re fabricating a story to continue warrant of our kids away from us since then we have reconciled our differences moved into a home we’re doing excellent in our relationship no issues we’ve realize that everything we do is childish and very dumb but now we can’t get out of this mess Anna seems to not be going anywhere but downhill from here why won’t theyJust give us our kids back we haven’t done anything wrong besides ying about each other for custody of our kids In the beginning but now we don’t get why they’re being so difficult if they have no evidence to prove otherwise all they have is hearsay
Error with the lasting post
Me and my wife are going through the same situation we were separating and I wanted custody of the kids and she wanted custody of the kids I lied and got a domestic violence restraining order against her to keep custody of the kids but not with the intent of her not having access for a communication or time with the kids but for the purpose of getting back at her for cheating and then after I was given temporary custody of the kids she called CPS on me and lied about me To get the kids taken away for me and give them to her and then CPS took the kids from both of us because I was leaving the kids with the mother For visitations and it was court ordered by the Family Court for her to get three days a week for two hours to see the kids and spend time with them with whoever I chose to supervise the visit now CPS said that because there was no documentation to support that even though that the court was supposed to import CPS of the court order for her to have visitation CPS took the kids from both Of us because they said that I was not supposed to let her see the kids and there was no paperwork stating otherwise in their eyes then after I provided the proof from the Family Court showing the new order stating that she has visitation the juvenile court gave me the kids back and then after a month and a half goes by CPS came and did an unannounced visit and seeing that I was there with the mother and got a order to take the kids away from us again then after six months of us getting continued court case dates the judge is been influenced by the CPS worker stating that the domestic violence is continuing in the home even though there was never domestic violence and the reason why they took the kids a second time was because they said I had failure to protect and now after a phone call from my lawyer to the CPS lady they changed it to I am the domestic violence perpetrator and that they require me to take classes and the kids can’t come back home because there’s ongoing domestic violence in the home which is not true because my wife even stated that that The CPS lady is lying about my wife telling her that there was domestic violence going on in the home my wife never said that to her so they’re fabricating a story to continue warrant of our kids away from us since then we have reconciled our differences moved into a home we’re doing excellent in our relationship no issues we’ve realize that everything we do is childish and very dumb but now we can’t get out of this mess Anna seems to not be going anywhere but downhill from here why won’t theyJust give us our kids back we haven’t done anything wrong besides ying about each other for custody of our kids In the beginning but now we don’t get why they’re being so difficult if they have no evidence to prove otherwise all they have is hearsay
It left us homeless an devastated after he filed the false protective order and lied to the police stating I had moved out of the marital residence refusing to let me get my belongings from our home after he knocked our 3 year old over while hitting me forcing me to go to the women’s shelter, as it was not the first incident and was getting worse.
What can you do when a county is bias to the one that lives in the county, The false allegations are prove that their False and they come up with another false allegations? Never hear the other parent side that allegations are being made too?
Her concerns that they are not willing to hear are legit because she had a witness to the ones that need she is concern with. What can she do? Why is the law always bended for this man. That’s why I say their bias. Can anyone please help?
My ex husband made false allegations against me that I had relapsed. To get more support he contacted my youngest daughter’s father and told him I had relapsed also. Both of them filed for sole custody. My youngest daughter’s father hired a lawyer so to avoid an expensive trial I settled out of court with him but had to give him 50/50 custody and get an alcohol assessment done. With the father of my oldest 2 children I was able to provide the court with documents proving I had not relapsed and they dismissed his claim and awarded me make-up parenting time. After all this, I had the assessment completed for my youngest daughter’s case and also provided the judge all the documents I submitted to the judge for my older children. Is there any chance she will reverse the agreement I signed to settle out of court?
Please make sure you clearly tell the judge you signed under duress. And I’m sure with the situation they will understand. Pray the the Ultimate Judge and He will provide!!🙏🏻💕
Is there anything I can do in regards to harassment charges that I can bring against them to prevent them from doing this to me again?
I’m not a lawyer, just very well informed of our constitutional rights. When you sign things always put U.D. Beside your signature if you’re not comfortable. Then you can go to a judge and show them you signed under duress. People do this on their license and get out of tickets and such. But I do know that the Heavenly Father can move mountains in an instant. Go to Him for all your needs!! I’m praying for you!! The legal system where I live is not about justice, rather who has the most to spend on lengthy trials (not speedy as our right in due process).
Thank you both for your responses. Since I last messaged my youngest daughters father threatened to take me back to court for not having the assessment completed with in 30 days and not sending the results electronically to him and his lawyer. I consulted a lawyer and they said there was no terms in the agreement that what he said was true. Im not working right now because I’m helping my kids with virtual learning because of COVID-19. I can’t afford a lawyer but I’m wondering if there is anything else I can do to make him stop harassing me.
Ok i have been in a relationship for 15 years and i have done everything i could have possibly done to keep her happy but still her and her mom have done nothing but talk foul about me infront of our children since they were born thats all they hear and the things they hear are so untrue and i dont know why someone would do that to a child or a spouse they supposedly love i work everyday so i admit im not home alot of the time but when i am home there are things that need attended.to as well like yard work a leaking faucet ect but my kids are being made to believe false things about me and its sad because they tell me they know that stuff is not true because they do get some time they have with me and thankfully they must say some really ridiculous things about me because our oldest is 11 and we have a 7 year old and ive known about the way her and her mother have been doing this since before the oldest could walk so i guess in a way its my fault for staying around but all i want is a family life style and now its too far gone and im trying to keep any rights to our kids as of oct 6 2020 to until at least the 1st of march 2021 i have not even been aloud to talk to them on the phone or anything
its so sad what can i do
I have 2 abusive manipulating exes as well. It’s gotten to the point where I had to install exterior and interior cameras because everyone I would call the police he would lie and the police seemed to believe him and the lawyers did until I started recording everything. He lived next door to me and has parties all the time. People trashing my yard and parking back behind me so I couldn’t leave my own driveway and had people falling down vomiting drunk while our daughter was in his care. The police in my town are worthless. They did nothing until I informed them I had footage. It’s as if they were lazy and didn’t wanna make a report or maybe from a man standpoint they didn’t understand I don’t understand still to this day but once I let them know in my call that I had footage they actually went and spoke with him… Anyhow my point is you may have to start living your life differently it sucks to have to record everything you also may have to let your ex know that if he is going to be belligerent and texts and harassing you then you will be blocking his communication until he can stop being adolescent and act as an adult… And he needs to know that he needs to know That he must not be guilty of alienation… This is an abusive parent that values control more than they value the happiness and well-being of their children… Both of my exes have used my child to hurt me every time that I would date someone different but not have them around my child of course… My ex would always use my daughter in someway to hurt me… Of course I saw straight through this… And last but importantly should be first pray to the Lord the Lord can change these men’s hearts to be better parents and put their children first I don’t know if it’s just the way we are wired but being a mother I literally put my children first after God when I work everything around them and I’m sure that you do the same whereas the men usually work their children into their life around everything else at least that’s how my exes are… I will be praying for you so much and just know that the Lord wants to help and think of how he’s using it to build us up and make us more Christlike being around these wicked people. 🙏🏻💕
I was a single mom from the day my 2 girls were born until there dad got out of prison in 2016 so they were 7 and 8 when he came home i felt that he lost to much time already so i have suggested threw the courts to give joint custody so he could spend qaulity time with there dad but the past 3 1/2 years ive had CPS cops ect everyday at my door while going threw custody court and boy he painted a perfect picture to the judge now they ripped my kids out of my home because all the false alligations sure not everything is a lie but 75% is i was a single parent raising to kids all by myself no help when he finally went to prison of course i was the only one working i lost my job my home and struggled on a daily basis and now im the worse person to be raising our kids that he does nothing wrong but yet hes the one straight out of prison got married with in 3 months has a new baby and lives off his wife. it seemed like my lawyer didnt want to use my evidence ive kept every text since 2016 and in 2019 my now husband has been together since 2014 decided to get married and move further with our lifes he has made my life more hell.. and now ive been sitting here since 2/13/2021 only 2 days ready to have a nervous breakdown cause my kids r not at home where they should be now that have him taunting laughing thinking what he did was right and as the judge allowed for my kids to come in to court and state who they would rather be with and they said me because ive been there i do for my kids knowone else and very involved with school added on a job at the local skating rink so i keep a close eye on them due to them being pretty little girls turning into gourgous young women. and dont wan them to think what there dad said is gonna happen. He told them in front of 5 witnesses that as long as they have any involvement with me that they will be pregnant by 16 an be high school drop outs that will never amount to anything like there mother (me), but my first child was born at 26 and i graduated a long time ago.. im so lost and need some direction on what to do next where to start or even how to try to fix this situation period im sure my kids r suffering as well as i am.. SO PLEASE could u give some sort of direction or advice on what to do next or where to start.. The systrm is corrupt at times and seem to have blinders on at times to so please anything will b helpful
I just went through a temporary guardianship case and have a question. Okay so my husband died and his side of the family legally by default got temporary custody of my daughter. I fought for 10 months spending the twenty-grand my husband left me in a pension I spent almost 13 Grand and legal fees and have it documented just for them to dismiss the case without prejudice a week and a half before trial what about that money I spent they are millionaires I am not that was all the money in the world that I had and now I have no husband I have my daughter full time and I am worried that I’m going to run out of money can I get that money back?
I know in the U.S. you will get a monthly Social Security check for yourself and a check for your child. The child’s should be around 1k-2k per month and yours should be much more, depending on how much he paid in. Talk to the social security office ASAP.
Why are there no actual lawyers ever responding to these posts?
Amen ,so sad I agree ,after 13 years going thru same all I can do is pray.
My child WAS ABUSED by her dad too, yet Dhs commends it. My county is full of corrupted workers. Who have personal vendettas and carry them out in their work. My daughter has attempted suicidal 3 times while at her dads Bc Dhs put her there. I threaten to report my ex and he turned around and reported me and he’s so controlling. He told my daughter I’d she tells anyone he made her go along with the lie she will go into foster care. So this whole time he’s blocked my contact and he has family with money. I don’t. It’s so disgusting on every level. And it’s only hurting my daughter. The trauma he has caused and every couple months she’ll sneak a text to me (it’s been 10 months) and he’s totally brainwashing her. She’s sooooo sad it breaks my heart. But I find peace in knowing and trusting in Yahweh’s words! Her dad, Dhs and all lawyers who stood by and let this happen will be judged harshly. These are children of the Most High they are messing with and the Lord loves His children. I’m waiting on the Lord to move things for me since I’m up against a corrupt system. I seriously don’t know how someone from the outside could even believe it. The DA could even tell it was a bucket of lies. My daughter told 3 counselors the truth but they are only willing to listen to the 1 counselor her dad takes her to which he threatens my daughter before every sessions. The only one who truly loses is my daughter and if this ends in a suicide I’ll sue the state. They simply don’t care. Sadly.
I’m new to all this please help me understand why false allegations make someone lose a child ex 13 years in my case all false
Did you have a laywer to try and show evidence, these stories are so shocking, going thru now,dont know what to expect but reading this not coffident,can u email me please
I dont understand how this is acceptable same thing,
Going through this with my grandkids for the 5th time. Dad and his mom are total psychos who call DCFS every time something they don’t like happens – like getting served with child support papers because he’s NEVER paid any on an 8 & 10 year old I actually have video and pictures of a full handprint of bruises on then 3yo granddaughters arm that dad inflicted.In the video I asked how it happened and both kids in unison said “ daddy” DCFS didn’t do anything- no anger management classes no supervised visits NOTHING. But he can call DCFS on us who haven’t done anything and have to go through all these investigations and are cleared. The kids babysitter won’t watch them if anyone from that side of the family picks them up or drops them off because they accused this nice woman who I’ve known for 40 years of being a drug dealer amongst other things. The worst part is DCFS not looking into him fully and doing a psychological evaluation on him because he is truly mentally ill. I fear for him snapping and taking them out with him.
To me there’s nothing worse than making false allegations that can have permanent effects on someone’s life and well being. Not just the accused, but the children as well. I would love to see penalties increased for this.
I. Am currently going through faults allegations against me from my ex husband kids father accusing me of sexuly touching my son.weve been divorced for over 5 years and recently tryd to reconnect to get our family back together for our 2 kids.anyways I found out that he was using Fetnal pills and meth on top of going and getting methadone every morning…hes always been verbally abusive towards me and his close family like his mom and sisters.anyways when I found out he was using drugs again he flipped out on me.his anger and temper got worse little over 3 weeks after i found out about him useing.and he started to be physicaly abusive towards me a few days before the faults accusation happened.and it was infrount of our 2 sons my oldest peed his pants and he was only 8yrs.after that incident occurred i quit looking at my kids father the same because he turned into someone I didn’t recognize or know anymore.anyways the day before the accusation I texted him and told him i wasn’t inlove or loved him anymore.and the same day he came back acting weird and crying some and asking me that I didn’t love him anymore.anyways the next morning I wake up to go to the kitchen to get something to drink and hes standing by the counter and says to me that he couldn’t believe what I did and then I told him what did I do now?because he’s always blaming me of always doing something wrong.anyways he tells me that I sexuly touch my son.and when he said that .that drew any line i had left to put up with him.i told him he knows I would never touch my son or any kid for that matter.(he knows how I feel about sexul abuse because i am a souvenir of sexual assult and abuse and how that effected me mentally and emotionally)then I told him i was going to call the police and I did so that their could be a report of his false accusation because I didn’t know what to do.hes very muliputive controlling and knows how to work the system and gets away with alot of stuff.he comes from alot of money so after our divorce and all that he put me through I was smart this time around to have my own evidence of him abusing me and our sons verbally and physically I recorded him on video and voice recordings.and of him using and falling everywhere because he would be so high on drugs.only because no one believed me or my story and what I went through and no one knew the real him but me behind closed doors when we were married and all that put up with while I was going through my divorce with him.and so this time around befor I moved in with him i had got a gutt feeling that I should make sure to be smart this time around just incase I have to look out for myself and my kids and that i would have proof of whatever this time around so people will listen to me and also so that they would know the real him and see how he truly is…
My mom is a liar and so is my sister they both have lied on me in court and refuse to stop all I want to do is raise my kids just because I was homeless for a short time. The court refused to listen to me .
So carson city Nevada is the most Corrupt court system in the United States Hello do you have probation and parole but you have Alternative sentencing And the sheriff owns the building behind the courthouse which is all of your classes in your tests drug courts are anybody’s related everybody all the cops related somehow What the judges the lives with one of the public defender’s Is the courtrooms are a joke the judges are biassed judgmental unfair Are you set a custody hearing and I had my son for 5 months because his mother abandoned us and the judge granted her custody he awarded her for a bendiness she has mental issues in the judge said that there was no mental issues because hes a doctor And athadu 52 weeks of anger management when I have no violent history at all Show I lost my son I could see him 2 times a month For from Saturday night at 6 to Sunday night at 6 the 1st and 3rd Saturday of every month how is that fair When I had my son she was allowed to see him twice a week And because he has a grudge against me because I try to disqualify him any summit prison knowing that I was innocent Now I have to go back in front of him for another case how’s that fair when he already is biassed against me please tell me where I can get a Fair trial With that judge
I am being accused of abuse and neglect of my children and sexual abuse but it’s not true and they are using the allegation to keep me from my children what can I do there is no evidence or proof involved
thank you for this article-I appreciate what others beside my self are going through
The problem with this article is that you speak as if you have personal knowledge that an overwhelming number of those who are making these allegations have been proven to be lying. Saying that there are “a lot” or implying that these Supposed “false allegations are always eventually proven to be false”…HOW are they proven? By whom and how did you reach this aggressor is not in any way an accurate statement regarding the number of false allegations you claim are being made. So exactly how many, in your opinion, are false?
Is is 80%. Or is it minus the number of accusations in which the victim suddenly dropped it or recants.?
Is it 60% Maybe it’s the ones in which the evidence needed to actually consider abuse in a custody case is set at a criminal levell requiring the victim to provide proof that is going to endanger her, her children. Is it 50% $ But considering that nearly an estimated 50% of all DV cases aren’t even reported at all, we can say maybe 25%…
Then there is the fact that sometimes abuse just can’t be proven that doesn’t mean deception is involved.
So basically when you consider that for profit attorneys ( those who seek to make a profit from from families in crisis ) vs non profit ( those who attempt to provide legal help to those who can’t afford it by working with advocate and other charitable programs, as well as Judges and court staff are more biased believing thatover 48% of all allegations are false vs. Non profit who estimate about 37%. Compared to what the studied proved. Only an estimated 23 % who claim abused yet are then unable to find a way to substantial the claims. That’s 23%. Not 60 or even 50% .
But the fact is, women will likely lose custody for no other reason than she tells of abuse and he then says
She’s been preventing him contact. 43% shell lose custody, yet after abuse is proven he’s only like to lose custody 12 % .
This idea that fathers are all innocent victims and are victimized by just walking in is insane.
You’ll all say that fathers are just as qualified and should have full physically custody equal to the mothers and in not applying that Tele the courts are then biased.
When in reality it’s the opposite
What’s the remedy?
I really wish there was a part 2 to this article. What about charging the parent making the false claims? Why do they never get charged for their lies?
I too wish to hear more about how the accused parent can hold the other parent accountable for the false allegations and all the damage caused.
Two years and 5 months since my 3 boys spent the night in their beds at my house. He set me up, planned ahead and waited until my mom lost her battle to cancer. I am just starting to recall most of the details from the beginning 4 years later. I’m not sure how to begin any type of healing process let alone comprehend how dumb I am to have mistaken his looks of deception and malice for love. 22 months of back and forth nonsense fighting for half and he gets it all a year after we agreed for our decree, and a bonus of 33k in debt.
This article is an accurate description of my case! . My abuser has won custody of our children using my mental heath and unproven allegations of drug abuse as well as false claims of his stability and finances against me. The courts ask for no proof, no evidence. there was scarcely chance to defend myself. This whole nightmare for custody began with cps I fought them and complied with their requirements, every single one of them….. all for them in the end to give the children to their fathers’. there was no real or logical reason for any of this, ridiculous restrictions and requirements were forced upon me but nothing of the fathers. To gain back my children they wanted my name on a lease, reinstatement of my driving license, proof of insurance, regular ua, a hair follicle test, in home assistance and observation, parenting classes, 4 total drug and alcohol assessments and more. The fathers were not required to do any of this and in fact they have no driver license or insurance, are not on leases, are addicts, have never taken any parenting class, have histories of domestic violence not only with me, ecc.. yet the children are awarded to them? The father of my two youngest is my concern, he was given full custody and pretty much the go ahead to do whatever he wishes with our girls. He had NOTHING to do with them, either one of them, they didn’t know who m he even was until cps came around. Even then it was a struggle to get him to see his kids, he made no effort , when he seen them it was because i had brought them to him or because I fought for his right to visitation, i supported him and his relationship with our girls.Now I wish I never had. The court turned around and congratulated him, giving him credit for all the hard work, what a wonderful, inspiring and caring father he is and what a wreck of a mother I am. I begged them,, I did everything I could to help them see through his phi-sad which only made him look better and me crazy and, paranoid. I told them if they gave him our girls I would be lucky to ever see them again. He was granted custody and it was 1 year before i seen my babies again, 1 year before i got to hug them, hold them,kiss them…breathe them…My children were my life, they were everything to me. I was stripped of everything, robbed and violated, I have no idea who I am anymore I have no direction or purpose in life.. I was a Mother and now I am nobody. This is how I feel everyday (feelings aren’t facts) the only reason I keep going is because I do get to see them here and there, whenever it suits his agenda. I hold on for those moments.. one to the next. In the meantime I been searching and researching I have dedicated the majority of my time to looking for legal representation, willing to fight with me, to save my girls from further emotional and psychological manipulation, trauma and abuse. My babies need to come home. The problem? I have no income, as I stated I was a mom, that was taken from me and now what? what do I do? apparently I am too psychologically damaged to maintain a steady job at this time (which doesn’t look good upon me) however when It comes to my children, well as I said they were my life. I had my mental heath under control and well managed through medication and therapy but then corona had something to say about that. Returning to therapy and medication management is on the list of things I must do. Anyways I’m off subject and rambling. You’re article carries a powerful and moving message,, at least from my view. It has renewed my hope and rekindles that fire I need to keep going. My intention when writing this wasn’t to play a victim, to whine or complain but to relay my experience in a way that leaves no job for the imagination. This is real, It happens to women and men all the time but the real victims here are not the ones that get to speak.. the ones that suffer the most are our children, It is our job as their parents, THEIR GUARDIANS, to speak up for them, fight for them, and to fight to protect them. Parents put your differences aside, leave your children out of the adult issues and conversations. if it is safe for them to do so, support them in their decision to have a relationship with both of their parents. Our children are not pawns in a game or tools to be implemented in the execution of control and manipulation tactics, they are not informants or spies. Our children are people, Little tiny lovely individuals, growing learning and exploring the world around them as they figure out who they are and where they fit in. They are people deserving of the respect to make choices have their own thoughts as well as their own feelings.. we are here to love and guide them.
I said a lot more than I had intended…. thank you for your article and thank you for your time. I am still searching for legal help If you are able to do a consultation I would appreciate that If you are un available perhaps you know of where I might find the appropriate legal representation?
Thanks again
Kristina Ransopher
[email protected]
360.386.5755
Our legal system is ABSOLUTELY broken when it comes to this issue. I am watching a dear friend go through this and I am SO ANGRY! SO angry that her ex has all the power because he has the money. SO angry that the kids lives are being ruined. SO angry that the narcissist seems to be winning. SO angry that court dates keep getting pushed back. SO angry that there is no support. Just tell me what I can do to help, change policy, DO ANYTHING TO HELP!!! PLEASE SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP!!!! I’m afraid this mom is about to give up.
unwed Mother of my children knowingly falsified and withheld my adress to prevent the courts from notifying me of the case. She took children from our home in Warren County ohio to Clermont county ohio . The 3 wemon involved conspired the falsified information to the courts. I was seeing my children every day just thought her and I were working things out. After some time passed the truth came out she had given my children away and they had successfully played n used ghe courts to prevent me from ever being notified. Did not receive any form of notification, what laws have been broken what can I do about the falsified information that robbed me of my children for whom I was sole provider maid chef butler and care taker
I’m going through something similar. My daughter is 14. When she was 2.5 her father and I divorced; we were 26/27 at the time. Her father and immature gf would make fun of me, dress her up like the gf and post pictures on social media calling her “mini-me” with the gf as if my daughter had a new mom. They bought her an etrosketch when she was young, drew a picture of a ugly witch with a big nose and when my daughter came home from visitation with her father, she handed it to me and said “look mommy it’s you”. Her father and young gf at the time called dyfs on me and made up false accusations saying that I leave my daughter with a caretaker/my parents while at work that lets my disabled brother watch her unsupervised (not true) and that I “hit her”. The case was unfounded. Time went on and coparenting was decent on his part so I assumed it was because he was younger and immature at the time and wouldn’t do that again. I never told her the things that they did when she was young. I still till this day have not. He remarried and I knew they made fun of me when my daughter went there and claimed I was unfair and mean if she ever revealed an argument we had and tried to brush it off thinking my daughter is smart and wouldn’t let it get to her and if I keep doing right and never bash him that she will realize that and not let them get to her.
Then when my daughter was 10 she went to the principal and told him that she was scared of me and that I made chili one night for dinner and told her she needed to eat all her supper. She said I yell at her and she is frightened of me. The school called dyfs on me. At this time I got a position working in a school. I went to college for many years to get a post graduate degree for this position. It was my career. And at jeopardy. When the dyfs worker interviewed my daughter she broke down and said that her dad made her do it. She then apologized to me and told me that she only did it because she thought she would be able to have some more visitation with her father. I from then on made it clear to her that she can go to her dads any extra weekend she wanted, but dad ended up not being available lol. The case was marked as not-established with no real explanation why. At this time NJ didn’t allow appeals for not-established findings. Time went on and her father really backed down and even acted like he supported me in the way I parented our child. But I still kept a distance.
Then…the big one. At the age of 14 my daughter was working remotely for school (during covid pandemic) and told my mom to give her space and let her work at home (my place) in peace alone for her extra help 1:1 session with her teacher. When my mom came back she found a note on the table saying “don’t look for me I’m not coming home”. I called her friends, friends parents, father, and made a lap or two around the neighborhood. An hour later I called the police around 4:30 pm. This lead into a 16 hour search. Her father shows up not until about 10:30 pm rather calm to assist in the search but compliant in helping and offering tips with his wife, both which I welcomed in my home. The police recovered my daughter over state line at 4:30 in the morning outside a train station in the city. My daughter is a straight A all honors student that has never gone anywhere without parent supervision past 7 pm. Apparently her friend gave a getaway backpack with a burner phone. According to the phone texts to this friend (police discovered), my daughter claimed she walked to a public place 5 miles from my house took an Uber to Philadelphia to this train station. When the police recovered her, she claimed she was frightened of me ans that I verbally abuse her and threaten to take away her electronics and that she would kill herself if she had to come home to me. She even made accusations that I “slap” my 2 year old son! Keep in mind my daughter myself my son and my daughters friend had a ski trip planned the next day, we had a great relationship where she kept me up to date with all her gossip of school and friends at dinner time. She was a straight A student because I supported her, encouraged her, and embraced her talents (highly intelligent). Because of this only dad could drive her to crisis for screening (me separately) and dyfs was called on me again. Here we go again, my career at risk and my son, who doesn’t have a father could be taken and put in foster if these false accusations are believed.
Father who was in my house just the night before and his wife, turned on me. Barred her from me and kept her (I have primarily custody he gets every other weekend) The psychiatric nurse practitioner (not even a real doctor) believed her bogus story and wrote this awful report and stated she recommended that my daughter stay with her father because he supported her mental health treatment. Even though I was the only one crying historically calling every therapist out there to find an appointment at the hospital. He never made one call or even offered to call. The nurse saw that too. But I guess they were too busy judge me giving me evil looks to see that. That report held such ground for him. I called him 4 times the next day and texted him 4 times begging to know if my daughter was alright and no response. He took those missed calls to a police station with my daughter and tried to have my daughter file a harrassment charge against me saying it was bothering her. I texted him not her and told the officer If she was so upset why would he show her I’m calling and instilling fear in her? Police didn’t file anything. I called my attorney immediately. Dad wouldn’t take her to the counseling session I scheduled for her claiming she won’t go if I’m going to be there. I said ok well how about I just consult about her treatment goals before and after the visits. Dad still wouldn’t. So I called another place and scheduled. Same thing. Dyfs said I was interfering by asking to be a part of the intake and to consult with the therapist because it was causing my daughter to refuse. At the hearing for order to show cause that dyfs update was shown to a judge who coldheartingly agreed and awarded him emergency custody no visitation for me and said only the therapist can decide which parent they want to talk to. Even though we had evidence (emails) that I begged the therapist to see my daughter And that dad was the one who would not sign consent. It’s been 8 weeks and I haven’t seen or spoken to my daughter. She won’t speak to her grandparents or me and my straight A all honors student is not getting Cs and even a F. They dropped her from the advanced engineering program behind my back because the school only needed one parent and child consent.
Meanwhile I found in the phone she left behind messages where she admitted to a 12 year old boy she met on a gaming site who claimed she was running away to get a train to meet him and runaway with him in Florida, you know clearly the opposite story she told the police (she was running away because of a fight we got in that morning -which never happened). Additionally the boy admits my daughter made it up false accusations against me so she didn’t have to live with me. Dyfs closed the case as not-established because I interferes with my daughter agreeing to go to therapy by asking to talk to the therapist, in fact they lied and said I cancelled the therapy! and of course we appealed with this evidence. My son’s case was unfounded.
6 weeks later the judge supposedly is receptive in me being able to talk to the therapist of mobile response which dad called. They were resistant to speaking to me , well the therapist not the case worker..he was more reasonable. But the therapist treated me like I’m some abusive criminal.
He took her to her family physician, who happens to be my family physician about 3 times. I called each time to consult with the doctor, who asked if she was in therapy with me for mother/daughter therapy. I cried “no. They won’t allow it”. She said she was shocked as that would be appropriate. I shared this with dad and her mobile response therapist. Asked if I can set that up and made an appointment with another therapist. That same day, dad went to my daughter and my doctor and got my doctor to write a note saying she never said that to me!!!! My own doctor betrayed me and lied for him. In fact she told him that she is documenting every time I call. His attorney acted as if I’m harassing her doctor! I called the doctor 3 times to follow up and see how the visit went! I don’t understand how that attorney sleeps at night. She’s an evil bitch. Then she has the nerve to request sibling visitations but only if I bring my son to my daughter’s fathers house since my daughter doesn’t want to be around me. Over my dead body.
7 weeks now it’s been. With no hope. My child hates me and has been completely brainwashed against me.she was convinced to do an awful thing to me, which hurts me that she is going to have to live with that for the rest of her life. I’m humiliated in my town as the police and dyfs were in and out of my house for almost 2 days. Even if my relationship could be rectified with my daughter, it’ll never be the same as I lost all trust in her especially with her faking this close bond with me even up until the night before she left. I paid for singing lessons, acting camp, a private tutor, swim lessons volleyball every dream she wanted to try, I provided it. Couldn’t always afford it and never toook her father back to increase child support. I took her to Greece, France, Sweden, I let her bring a friend down the shore, on all our trips etc. I barely dated or did much for myself I gave my life and soul to my children. They were my happiness. My career is not ruined and my son is recovering from what he witnessed of the whole ordeal. I honestly don’t see any hope because she won’t see me and I want to pack up and leave with my son and start a new life because I’m in so much pain. Her birthday was just the other day…the first time in 15 years I haven’t spent it with her.
What happens when my childs father abandons my daughter leaving her with his new ex significant other? Can I bring abandonment charges on him?
I’ve been putting up with this for over two years. Just like you mention in your article, I’ve been forced to fund criminal and civil representation and it’s been very expensive and exhausting in just about every way you could imagine. I was a perfectly fit parent until I learned of her affair, and then I was a domestic abuser not fit to have my child. False charges have been used to deny phone visitation for six months. My son’s been dragged to a therapist where he was coached to answer questions about ‘concerns’ about his having witnessed domestic violence (according to mommy anyway). She’s filed for restraining orders and, after they were dismissed with prejudice, she’s filed multiple baseless charges. The problem is there’s no risk for someone who is willing to do these things. No judge or prosecutor wants to charge these women for perjury because that would give the appearance they were not sensitive to, or do not believe women who could very well be victims of domestic violence. We live in a world where politicians being called racist or accused of sexual misconduct by the opposing party during an election is commonplace. Why should men expect to be treated differently in court?
My son is in the middle of a divorce we’re his wife and her family lied and filed a domestic abuse against the children. Disgusting allegations. We went to court fought the allegations and won. Judge told his wife she was not credible and found my son innocent. So we went back to court and she filed again and the same judge then made her pay are attorney fee’s. Now we are in trial for custody and parental rights and the new family court judge is letting them testify and bring up all the same allegations that my son had been found innocent on. Our lawyer objected over and over but she allowed it and said she wanted to hear it. We have already spent over $65,000 in attorney fees and now are attorney is saying if she doesn’t rule for us we may have to appeal. How can the family court allow this? What can we do? He is 26 and can’t afford an appeal so just wins because her and her family lie? First time ever been involved in court system and now it’s been going on about 2 years. But this can not be how law is supposed to work.
I just went through 5 years of this and the system took everything from me as a father. I have lost everything to me in this world “my son”. This system reminds me a lot of the New age Holocaust these poor children are given a number and tossed to the gas chamber as quickly and irresponsibly as possible just for a paycheck. The Guardian ad Litem spoke with me once in person over the course of 5 years. I’ve been falsely accused of multiple allegations ranging from child abuse to sexual abuse to verbally abusive in front of the child. Also have had 3 criminal cases against me. My family friends and I have been fighting this since day one and the lack of care by Social Services the Police and the System just makes me sick. Every accusation against has of course been unsubstantiated because there is none of this happening. It’s called playing and manipulating the system because the father is gender discriminated against from the get go. I’m sure this can happen to a mother as well. Is so sad how many times over the course of 5 years I’ve heard how worthless Social Services or how worthless the Guardian ad Litems are or how broken the system is. That last one I heard from a Social Worker. The family law system is beyond repairable and not one person will stand and fight for change I’ve sent e-mail after e-mail after e-mail to so many different entities and yet still no response or no we won’t do anything. These poor children and future leaders or future doctors or future Politicians or future laborers have no chance. We are creating the world around us and it’s shaping very badly!! I just want people to be aware this does happen and children die because of horrible judgement or lack of investigation by this system.
I have a very over the top psycho for an ex. In 12 yrs since I was 18 this man has not only signed false charges on me, friends, and family but called CPS ( Child Protective Services), post false allegations and embarrassing pictures, and statements online. Made my children lie and make false allegations against people. Stalk and harass me and anyone involved with me. I have filed protection orders, charges, court order after court order and nothing is ever done. Due to him being buddy buddy with the right people. What do i do???
My ex worked along side of a cps worker he had me picked up at a friend’s home for. Mental hygiene which I passed it and 3 days later cps took all my kids they said I’m in denial that I have a mental illness I’ve had evaluations and therapy and I’m fine but they still won’t let me have my kids
Is there a Lawyer here that can help me?
Last 10 years the mother has bullied, manipulated myself and the courts, made 3 false allegations defaming my character, never inform me any information, currently states that I don’t have any rights but still have to pay support. Last 2 years I have not physically seen my only child, as my child has four other siblings with different fathers. The mother won’t help forgive arrears as its been effecting my ability to find a place to rent. She admitted once before she wanted me dead and knew two of her friends cutting my ex girlfriend brake lines. She caught me at a vulnerable stage then went behind my bavk filing stipulations I never agreed to in 2019 which I have now found out about. She has caused me much emotional distress and mentally I have been unstable due to the pain she’s been causing as I suffer with a disability. I want to pursue a civil lawsuit against st her for violating my parental rights on so many levels but am not able to afford an attorney. In all honesty I feel that she should be the one to pay an attorney from all the stress and violations she’s done. I can no longer deal with her. She will be the reason of my insanity.
My mentally and verbally abusive 42 year old Majorly narca narcissistic girlfriend has a son that’s 22 years old that is constantly trying to attack me physically what’s trending violence towards me or wanting to fight me and it’s out of control punches holes in the doors and walls when he loses temper but his mom who is also abusive towards me she protect him every time he does it by threatening me and Saying she is going file a false police report of domestic violence against me if I called and said anything but then it’s two on one if the police show up and they will unlawfully automatically take me into custody without question with 2 on 1 if I say hey I’m not comfortable with him there because he’s threatening my life and to pysically harm me and warning me that I’m gonna see what happens to me or what’s coming my way!? This is sick behavior and the only thing I can do or been trying to do to avoid the threats confrontation and physical attacks is lock myself in the bathroom for hours with her Walking around outside the door banging on it and then walking around outside and the house banging on the opposite side of those bathroom walls as well and accusing me of all sorts of crazy things for being locked in for safety! That I’m talking to another woman! That I’m masterbation! And watching porn! And it goes on and on…Everytime I take a shower she goes and cranks on the hot water in the other shower and sink and kitchen sink and turn the dishwasher on with extra hot rinse set along with also running washing machine at hot water ALL AT THE SAME TIME SHE HEARS ME GET IN THE SHOWER! “EVERY TIME!” AND SO I CANT ENJOY MORE THEN A 30SECOND SHOWER WITHOUT THE WATER TURNING COLD! and it’s true because I’ve turned the shower on and walked through the house and have caught her in the act several times and turned them all off one by one while she’s denying the whole time of doing it as I’m turning them off I rooms nobodies even in!?? I’m telling you I don’t know what to do or how to leave or get them out of my life without it inevitably it getting escalated into a huge dramatic scene ending with my falsely being detained being the outcome and me sleeping in a cell while she is destroying or spawning my things and son in my home still helping her is there any course of action that can help me I can take because I don’t feel safe going home definitely not comfortable and can garauntee it won’t be peaceful for very long before shwalks in to the same space as me 10 or 15 times literally in and out in and out each time to badmouth me and accuse me and speak her mind till I need to lock away in the bathroom for hours to hope it stops
And she’s constantly saying that I’m being tracked or naming certain places I been like she ha my phone secretly tapped and or my vehicle….it’s insane and honestly I won’t lie it’s really really stressful and scary it is ….
The court system has completely failed my children time and time again. This all started six years ago and continues. My ex is a manipulative narcissist in every sense of the word. He has done irreparable damage to my 18-year-old son which I took custody of when he was 16 but he had him for four years the emotional physical abuse may affect him his entire life. So since my ex lost our 16-year-old he decided it would be great if moved my 10-year-old to another state. His revenge for me taking custody of my 16-year-old.
I brought him to court to fight it and to regain custody of my 10-year-old and I would have gotten custody of him but for the unbelievable disgusting guardian in Leitem who seems to be in favor of my ex no matter what his crimes are including child abuse physical. And the fact that he has threatened my 10-year-old telling him that if he didn’t get custody of him he would end up in foster care. She has overlooked all of this. Come to find out she knows my exes parents and they have been social together no I have no way of proving this overheard a conversation between got him in Leitem and my ex mother-in-law.
So I go to court the judge is taking my side then the Guardian Leitem pops up with I need to talk to you about the 10 year old and accuses me of coaching my son. The judge then turns on me. It has now been three months since I have been able to hug my son only video conversations from another state. Crazy I’m a good enough mother to deal with a 16-year-old with behavioral problems but not a good enough mother to take custody of a 10-year-old may I also add I got custody of my daughter which I took custody of her at 14 and raised her. She graduated with honors from high school straight a student A in college.
Since gaining custody of my son the 16-year-old he has since graduated high school tied up all the legal problems from his father’s lack of parental supervision.
But yet I’m still not a good enough parent to have custody of my 10-year-old smh 🤦♀️ All because of a Guardian ad litem Who thinks I possibly coached my son but really has no proof. I will be returning to court to say my piece may 27th 2021. I will this time not be bringing a lawyer since the lawyer did absolutely nothing to protect me from this I had to fire her because she did no work on my case at all. And also the fact that I am financially drained because I have been in court with him on and off for the past six years. I will be going in there by myself and I will tell my truth. Yes I am really one of those people who has been railroaded by the judicial system.
Ultimately the people who have paid the most are my children. 😢
Currently in situation where I was the full time at home caregiver and homeschooling mom of our two autistic sons for twenty years never a concern. Punishments for non-compliance of various demands made out of narcopathic control based abuse, terms from psych facility after familicide threats, continuously escalating until for the fifth time he’s kidnapped my son denying any access the last time filing documents to self protect against felony arrest claiming abuse by myself that was already determined to be false ten days prior by APS, when determined him to be a repeated false reporter of abuse. Using incorrect names and addresses on documents blocking legal notice.
It’s heart wrenching to be punished by no contact for false accusations of abuse when every time I called for assistance authorities would quip off that it’s civil. If there’s criminal codes then it’s criminal. Several felony acts that aren’t being enforced. The system is more than skewed.
What happens if my children are on a temporary placement back in the home and someone makes an allegation that someone you know hurt the child and the cps takes the children back for investigation?
Unfortunately I am a mother of a small child i love more than anything. The narcissistic father made false accusations about me. And there has been no one to help me. I feel helpless. I am watching my son go through a lot of adult feelings. Such as Daddy doesn’t care, he never takes care of me, and I have been alienated of anything my son does. Not involved with school or even told when hes sick. I see him maybe 9 days a month and its sad to hear the things he tells me. His father has abused the system, lied, and got away with it. I have followed all the rules and i have made so many reports, but at the end of the day no one cares about the mother.
The Truth in your Statements, I must say, was what I needed to read today. I am about to Armor up, Lawyer up and FIGHT for the LEGAL System to realize that I am not dealing with a person who wants the custody of our child. He wants the CONTROL and Ability to say heor can make me do this or that now. Basically causing any type of DISCOMFORT (harass me through texts)
I want to THANK you for taking the time to not only help those in these situations but to voice the Truth on this here web page. It really will make the difference between a person GIVING up or DECIDING TO FIGHT. I got my GAME face on but for awhile there I was exhausted just by the Mental abuse I was still experiencing even though we aren’t together. Just because he will use our child to get to me in any way negatively he can. I have to protect her and fight for the DOMICILE. she will be worth every GREY HAIR I get.
Multiple studies have proven only 2% of mothers falsely accuse fathers of abuse, yet 75% of abusive fathers retain custody due to courts doubting mothers. Those children go on to be abused, and over 700 children a year due to abusers who retained custody. People like you continue to perpetrate this horrible dangerous mentality that kills innocent children. How much blood is on your hands?
My daughter is going through this now. They never have been married. Legally she should have all rights to her children. In 2016 her ex kicked her and her 3 girls out kept their son. The next day he told her to pick up title to the suburban. And he took the other two girls told her to take the baby. The police did nothing. She put in a ADR the courts. Father never established parterity test. Courts had them as married. We told 4 lawyers they are not married they would not listen. To make a long story short. Courts proceeded anyways made her take her baby back in 2016. In 2018 she was suppose to get her children again he hid the children out. 2019 they finally came to Arkansas. The children was sick with severe viral infections. Pink eye and uti. Before they came he took her to court to lower her parenting time down from 10 weeks to 3 weeks. Without cause. In 2020 her parenting time come up again he took her to court again to lower her parenting time down to three weeks again. Her 4 & 6 year old told her their grandfather has been touching them inappropriately. Went to court June 1st 2020 made my daughter out like she was this monster. Again he should not have legal rights no perternity test was ever done by the courts. This is a high conflict domestic case. District judge granted an order stating parenting time should not have been restricted in the first place.magistrate sat on it and went against the judge. He is using the court system to continue abusing my daughter. Financially, emotionally, the children are also getting abused emotionally, Physically, and sexually, and mentally. I hurt for these children it breaks my heart. So now I am looking for a lawyer to sue. No child should ever be alienated from the mother. Especially with no evidence of her harming them. Courts told my daughter on June 1st 2021 that she could not show evidence. And I thought was strange.
Someone please help me steer me in the right direction how to or what to do I have audio video of the father of my son falsely made complaint during an open case already you making that complaint Brandon him custody I have audio video prove that he isn’t fit my son has medical issues that he has not resolved Maxine’s he’s behind on he does not take care of his baby he gives him to other people when I leave him what can I do to get my son back I have him on audio video screenshots proving he spitefully took my son
False accusations yes are done disgustingly. But what about true accusations and the parent is torn from their child and the child is given to the abuser. It happens a lot. What if the child is not lying and her genitals are swollen and beet red yet no seamen found and a two to three inch beet red mark running the whole width of the thigh. What about virtually no evidence allowed to be shown.what about a referee having a total negative attitude after finding out a person is a Christian and constantly in hearing attacking the character of someone with no solid evidence just what she feels. How about cps putting a safety plan in place cause parent has problems with having sex and masterbating in sleep which is a proven mental illness by the top psychological association in America. Then the parent breaks the safety plan with proof it was broke by the parent who does this. Parent over doses child on seizure medicine and overdosed before too. Cps gives a hand slap and believes the sex problem is gone cause the parent said it is . What about years of strong mental Heath medicines and well over decade of mental Heath therapy along with therapy for mental illness sex in sleep therapy. Cps is stupid and ignorant and did nothing. Referre and cps turns on parent telling truth claiming overprotection. How bout child screaming and tears bursting down cheeks with little hands desperately wiping tears away when told she had to return to other parent. Child saying but daddy will be mad at me. On and on
And on and 10000. Being ripped off on having trial by attorny. Told after signing divorce and paperwork sent in that you have given up the right to a trial. The parent is over protective so rip rights away don’t look at evidence. Family court you lawyers and judges crooked as hell disguising under the I’m so concerned about the child. Declaring to have wisdom yet your schooling has given you none. People are just papers that need to be moved along as quickly as possible. You have destroyed more children’s life then you know. Hundred and hundreds a hundreds of thousands. Family court you are a gross mess. Yes call me 248 622 9617 I’m a very concerned grandmother who knows everything was true. I could tell and prove the truth but of coarse you wouldn’t listen. Your just a money making racket you judges and lawyers are. You are disgusting.
This Literally has been happening to us. I am a nurse, my husband a well respected command member, now vet, of the US army, i have open custody of all 4 of my kids i share 100%. Lord knows they need dad time too! No problem but my husband’s ex wife calls cps and claims sexual abuse right before any large block of visitation then before cps can dismiss she files an emergency parenting time order and the judge has been informed every time by cps this is unfounded there are no signs of neglect or abuse in any such manner and the judge still restricts him with 2yrs of supervision with visits and allows mother to choose supervisor, she always picks an upstanding member of his family we do everything asked then its lifted ….2yrs has gone by 1st visit alone all of a sudden sexual abuse again another emergency parenting time order and another dismissal from cps, 10 years now. She goes as far as calling every lawyer around so its conflict we have no hope to save these poor girls from the mental harm she’s doing to them. Its so sad. No police reports, no dr notes, dismissed by cps everytime out the gate! Husband is 35 I 33, mom is 41 living at home with her mom depending on her support, can’t live alone shares a room with both girls 9 and 12 and has no obligations in life. She’s even a school teacher makes more than dad and judge rates her at poverty level but she makes good money and dad has ssi and VA I’m the stable income. We have done everything asked, now after 10yrs of fighting and 2 yrs of visits she’s moving the kids from oregon to Arizona because her mom wants to retire down there and she can’t live alone. My husband raises my 4 kids everyday and never a cps call, well loved at school and in the community but somehow we can’t seem to do right by his babies. Parental alienating gatekeeping aside this is so damaging for the kids they really fear him but don’t know him! and no help legally ….. we had to just give up. Mother even was supposed to uphold mandatory phone calls 3 times a week and not 1 in 3 years but all of a sudden we now have to pay for supervised calls ?
My ex accused me of child abuse with guns, saying I was threatening them. This was a week after I finished my 4th year of school. Also the third time she called the police on me.
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I don’t understand why the police neglect to do anything about her malicious behavior. But anyways, I haven’t seen my kids in 5 months and I have spent tens of thousands of dollars on lawyers.
There needs to be done law in place to protect people.
I have went through years of abuse from the father of my child. He has made several different false accusations in court, I am in search of a lawyer to sue him for several different things, I have proof all allegations are false, he has several harassment charges and child charges. I am in Kentucky!! Any lawyers help with this?