To honor our extraordinary bloggers and thank our loyal readers, we have put together a list of our top 10 blog posts of 2019. From breaking the news about your divorce to why you shouldn’t be friends with your ex, these posts boast a wide range of topics related to everything that occurs before, during, and after divorce.
We invite you to take a look at our most read and shared blog posts from 2019. Be sure to comment on your favorite ones!
DivorceMag’s Top 10 Blog Posts of 2019
1. 5 Rules for Introducing a New Partner to Your Kids After Divorce
Consider how long you’ve been divorced, your children’s ages, and how committed you are before introducing a new partner. Waiting will pay off for everyone in the long run.
“One of the most common questions divorced parents ask me is: When should I be introducing a new partner to my children? My best answer is to take your time dating after divorce and don’t introduce your new love to your kids if you are dating casually.
“While it’s normal to seek solace, companionship, and a sexual relationship after a breakup, it’s crucial to take it slow so you can assess whether this relationship is casual or might be permanent.”
2. 8 Ways You Know It’s Time to Divorce
How can you be sure that it’s time to divorce? Here are 8 early warning signs that you may be heading for splittsville.
“Truth be told, a healthy intimate relationship is built on trust and vulnerability, which involves sharing your innermost feelings, thoughts, and wishes. Being vulnerable means taking a risk to share our authentic self, rather than saying what we think your partner wants to hear. According to marriage experts, sharing your thoughts and feelings fosters intimacy and trust – the glue that can hold a marriage together during times of stress and turmoil.”
3. Your Parting Words: How to Break the News about Divorce Responsibly
Are you preparing to leave, considering a trial separation, or do you want a divorce? Here’s some help deciding what to say when you break the news to your spouse.
“Telling your mate you want a separation or divorce is a moment of truth, and every individual I interviewed remembers precise details about this instant. In my case, we were vacationing in Lake Tahoe when I told my husband.
“We sat looking at the clear blue water, at our kayak tied to the dock, and ducks bobbing on the surface. And then I broke the stillness by saying, “I think we should separate for a while and see what happens. I need space to find out who I am and what I want. I need to leave when we get back home.” I said a few other things, to make it sound less final, less threatening, and less hurtful. As I spoke, I felt strong and exhilarated to finally break the news to my husband. I felt terrified as well.”
4. The 7 Stages of Emotional Affairs – and How to Save Your Marriage
Emotional affairs aren’t physically sexual, but rather emotionally provocative & intimate. Here’s how to deal with each stage – and maybe save your marriage.
“An emotional affair is an emotional connection between two people who agree to keep their relationship secret due to one or both of them being in a committed relationship or marriage with another person. Most emotional affairs are not physically sexual, but rather emotionally provocative and intimate, which actually makes them more challenging for couples to overcome and forgive.
“The rate of divorce due to emotional affairs is significant and rising – in part due to accessibility, which includes advances in wireless technology and the popularity of social networking websites designed to encourage connections between people.”
5. 6 Reasons Divorce is Harder on Men than Women
Women, unlike men, find it easier to cope with divorce because they are more likely to seek professional help and reach out to friends and family for support.
“It’s a common belief that women are typically more emotional than men. However, many studies have been done on the subject of who the divorce is harder on, each to discover that divorce is harder on men. In fact, a husband may have much more to lose in terms of both health and happiness in a divorce than his wife; let’s look at some of the reasons why this might be.”
6. The Breaking Point: Why Do Women Initiate Divorce More Than Men?
According to a recent study, 90% of all divorces are initiated by college-educated women. Why do women initiate divorce than men?
“In my experience as a Women’s Empowerment Coach, I help women navigate the emotional turmoil of divorce. This would make me a pretty “pro-divorce person.” I myself divorced once. Usually, when a woman comes to me, they have already decided to divorce. But there are times that I wonder if that divorce was necessary, or was it just easier?
Last week, during my field research, I met a woman… (OK it was my makeup lady at Ulta). She immediately described her marital woes to me upon my telling her of my vocation. When she told her husband she wanted a divorce, he suddenly started to do all the things she wanted him to do all along. But in her words, “It was too little too late.” I then posed a question to her to try to get her to think harder about it: “What would happen if, instead of it being too late, you went all in? A last-ditch effort maybe, but without any strings, expectations — just pure love for your husband and your child.” There were no words… she was quiet and even seemed a little annoyed.”
7. 12 Things You Should Know about Failing to Pay Child Support in Texas
In this article, we get down to basics and highlight things parents should know about failing to pay child support in Texas. It’s motivation to keep paying!
“Texas does not tolerate child support evaders. Parents who fail or refuse to pay child support can go to jail for up to two years and pay thousands of dollar in fines – on top of the child support they owe. There are basically two avenues for which you can be sent to jail for failing to pay child support.
Under Texas law, a judge can find you in contempt of court and place you in jail for up to six months for not following a court order to pay child support. You could also be found to be in violation of Texas Penal Code 25.05, which makes it a state jail felony to “intentionally” or “knowingly” fail to provide court-ordered child support for a child under 18. This is often referred to as criminal nonsupport. A state jail felony is punishable by up to six months to two years in a state jail facility and a maximum $10,000 fine.”
8. 15 Tips for Dealing with a Toxic Ex-Spouse When Children Are Involved
The more toxic an ex-spouse is, the more problems there will be moving forward, especially if there are minor children.
“I have written in the past about the fact that there is more than one aspect to a divorce. First is the legal divorce, where the judge ends the marriage and a document known as a Judgment of Divorce or similar paper is entered with the court legally ending your marriage. Just as important, and in some divorces of overriding importance, is the psychological divorce. The psychological divorce is the ability of one or both spouses to move on to the next chapter of their lives.
In particularly nasty divorces, one or the other is unable to move on due to anger, bitterness, and emotional or psychological problems, just to give some examples. The more toxic an ex-spouse is, the more problems there will be moving forward, especially if there are minor children.”
9. 7 Reasons Why Being Friends with Your Ex Usually Doesn’t Work
It’s a good idea to be civil and cooperative with your former spouse; however, being friends with your ex likely won’t allow you to move on with your life.
“While it’s normal to want to undo the past, being friends with your ex usually doesn’t work out. It’s a noble endeavor to want to be a friend to a former spouse but it can fuel your child’s reconciliation fantasies and prevent both adults from healing and moving on with their lives.
It’s especially problematic for the person who was left – or the dumpee – because having regular contact with the person who rejected them can make a person feel confused or give them a sense of false hope. On the other hand, the dumper would probably admit to feeling guilty upon seeing their ex regularly or worry that they are sending the wrong message.”
10. 7 Stages of Grief During and After Divorce
During and following a divorce, you will experience various stages of grief as you begin processing your divorce and what caused your marriage to end.
“They say that there are different stages of grief during and after divorce. There are different variations, but they are very similar to the stages of grief when dealing with a death of a loved one.
Out of the many experts or folks who like to think of themselves as experts, most agree that these stages don’t necessarily go in an exact order. When you have moved on to one, you can certainly revert to another.”