The past decade has been an exceptional one for DivorceMag. With thousands of helpful articles and blogs published, there hasn’t been any shortage of divorce stories from our writers and bloggers.
We’ve rounded up DivorceMag’s top 10 posts from the decade. From infidelity to co-parenting to divorce statistics and more, our most popular posts cover a wide range of things that occur before, during, and after a divorce.
Here are Top 10 Posts From the Past Decade
Let us know which ones are your favorites!
1. Your Parting Words: How to Break the News about Divorce Responsibly
How do you go about telling your spouse that you want a divorce? Breaking the news to your husband or wife that you want a divorce can be excruciating, heartbreaking, and downright difficult. Here are some tips on how to do it.
“Telling your mate you want a separation or divorce is a moment of truth, and every individual I interviewed remembers precise details about this instant. In my case, we were vacationing in Lake Tahoe when I told my husband.
“We sat looking at the clear blue water, at our kayak tied to the dock, and ducks bobbing on the surface. And then I broke the stillness by saying, “I think we should separate for a while and see what happens. I need space to find out who I am and what I want. I need to leave when we get back home.” I said a few other things, to make it sound less final, less threatening, and less hurtful. As I spoke, I felt strong and exhilarated to finally break the news to my husband. I felt terrified as well.”
2. 5 Rules for Introducing a New Partner to Your Kids After Divorce
Introducing a new partner to your children requires the right timing and consideration. How long has it been since you divorced? How old are your kids? Is your love interest a good fit for your family? These are all important questions you should ask before making the decision.
“One of the most common questions divorced parents ask me is: When should I be introducing a new partner to my children? My best answer is to take your time dating after divorce and don’t introduce your new love to your kids if you are dating casually.
“While it’s normal to seek solace, companionship, and a sexual relationship after a breakup, it’s crucial to take it slow so you can assess whether this relationship is causal or might be permanent.”
3. 8 Ways You Know It’s Time to Divorce
How can you be sure that it’s time to divorce? Whether you have trouble trusting your spouse, have different needs for sexual intimacy, or find yourself arguing over the same things over and over again, it may be time to re-evaluate where your relationship stands.
“Truth be told, a healthy intimate relationship is built on trust and vulnerability, which involves sharing your innermost feelings, thoughts, and wishes. Being vulnerable means taking a risk to share our authentic self, rather than saying what we think your partner wants to hear. According to marriage experts, sharing your thoughts and feelings fosters intimacy and trust – the glue that can hold a marriage together during times of stress and turmoil.”
4. When Is the Best Time to Divorce?
Should you stay together for the kids, or wait until they are older? Should you wait until your finances are in better shape? These are just a few of the questions you should ask yourself before taking the plunge. The first thing you should consider is your family.
“The trouble is, there’s no simple answer. It all depends on what’s going on in your family, what kind of parents you are, how much you can cooperate, and also the age and temperament of your child. First take a close look at what’s happening in your family.
“If there’s chronic violence at home, the answer is “the sooner the better,” unrelated to the age of your child. By violence, I mean physical attack – hitting, kicking, throwing objects – or chronic threats of physical violence. Exposure to violence has serious consequences for a child’s development that may last well into adulthood. They fear for your safety. They fear for themselves and their siblings.”
5. 4 Steps to Acquiring Text Messages by Subpoena in Divorce Cases
Do you know how to get text messages by subpoena? There are a few things you will need to do, but it might take some time. Fortunately, there are also a few better options you can consider.
“Text messages are used often in family law cases, particularly in divorce and child custody litigation. However, anyone who has ever tried to obtain text messages through a court proceeding knows how difficult, and often impossible, it can be. This may leave you wondering how it’s possible to get text messages by a subpoena.
“The most important concept to understand about text messages is that the content of text messages (i.e., the message communicated by one person to another through a cell phone) is only kept by the cell carrier for two to three days. This provides a very limited time frame to obtain the data from the carrier directly.
“Moreover, carriers often rely on the federal Stored Communications Act to refuse to comply with state court-issued subpoenas. Federal law requires the cell phone subscriber consent to the request before a carrier is obliged to provide any information.”
6. What’s the Difference Between Co-parenting and Parallel Parenting?
How you parent with your ex can make a huge difference in your children’s life, which is why some parents choose parallel parenting instead of co-parenting – but do you know the difference? The biggest difference is the relationship you maintain with your ex.
“Over the last few decades, research by child development experts has demonstrated numerous benefits to children when their living arrangements enable support from both parents. One reason is that parents who co-parent tend to experience lower conflict than those who have sole custody arrangements. Studies show that conflict is what creates the most pain and anguish for children after their parents split, and that keeping parental disagreements to a minimum is a key aspect of helping kids become resilient. Although co-parenting has many benefits, by making a few changes, high conflict relationships might find that parallel parenting is actually best suited for their family dynamic instead.”
7. Breaking the News About Your Divorce
Deciding to divorce is a difficult and emotional decision. If you haven’t told anyone, you may feel lonely and even more heartbroken without the support. Whether you are wondering how to break the news to your family, friends, or co-workers, these tips can help minimize the damage.
“There’s no question about it: the decision to divorce causes great upheaval. During this difficult time, you’ll want and need the support of your family and friends more than ever. But how do you tell them the news that your marriage is over without creating undue stress for yourself or them? And when – and how much – should you tell the folks at the office?
“How you approach this subject depends on a couple of factors: the nature of the separation, and who you’re announcing it to. Realize first, however, that there are no hard-and-fast rules to follow when you’re breaking the news. What follows are some basic guidelines: modify them to fit your unique circumstances.”
8. U.S. Divorce Statistics
This article on U.S. divorce statistics from 2002 covers a wide range of divorce and marriage rates. Are you curious to know which state had the highest divorce rate, or how many unmarried couples lived together? This article reviews divorce and marriages in the U.S. for 2002, and includes the percentage of the U.S. population that was married, the percentage of the population that was divorced, and much more.
9. The 7 Stages of Emotional Affairs – and How to Save Your Marriage
While many emotional affairs can be physical, they are also intimate and provocative. Emotional affairs can be caused by a missing link in a marriage, a lack of emotional and sexual intimacy, and more.
“An emotional affair is an emotional connection between two people who agree to keep their relationship secret due to one or both of them being in a committed relationship or marriage with another person. Most emotional affairs are not physically sexual, but rather emotionally provocative and intimate, which actually makes them more challenging for couples to overcome and forgive.
“The rate of divorce due to emotional affairs is significant and rising – in part due to accessibility, which includes advances in wireless technology and the popularity of social networking websites designed to encourage connections between people.”
10. Frequently Asked Questions about Infidelity
Do you know the percentage of marriages or relationships that are affected by infidelity, or what causes infidelity? It can be hard – if not downright impossible – to get over it. Here are some common questions about infidelity.
“The chances of a couple staying together after an infidelity are better than most people think. Many of us tell ourselves and our partners, “It’s over” if they ever cheat on us. But when confronted with the stark reality of infidelity, most people don’t find it so cut-and-dry. In fact, that’s a big part of why we wrote our book, Intimacy after Infidelity. In working with couples dealing with infidelity, we found that many of them not only stay together, but do rebuild their LTLRs so that they’re happier together than they ever were before the infidelity. It’s hard work, but they’ve taught us that it’s possible.”