If you are going through a divorce, are divorced but not over it, or have had a long-term relationship end, you may be debating about whether divorce counseling will help. An unwanted divorce or end of a long-term relationship is a serious loss. It is especially serious because childhood neglect and abuse impact divorce recovery.
Losses are difficult to adjust to, and depression, with all of its symptoms, often accompanies the loss. Depression, if untreated, can become quite serious and potentially life-threatening. Depression can most often be minimized with the help of medication. Nothing, though, can take away the pain of the loss except time.
If you are going through a divorce and have a history of low self-esteem and child neglect and abuse, you will probably need more than medication to ease the pain. You may need to get involved in counseling. Taking medication may dull pain, in a way, but the pain comes not only from your loss. Your pain also comes from not feeling good about yourself and not having a mature perception of love.
Why Childhood Neglect and Abuse Impact Divorce Recovery:
If you were physically or emotionally abused and/or neglected as a child, you could not have developed much in the way of positive self-esteem.
How could you?
You were always being told you were no good, not worth it, in the way, etc., etc., etc. Not having a strong sense of self — your personal value and innate goodness — more than likely has affected every aspect of your life, including your marriage and other relationships.
If you were the victim of childhood neglect and abuse impact, counseling is your best option for divorce recovery.
Counseling is the best “pill” for learning why you feel the way you do about yourself. Counseling is a process that guides people toward finding the awesome person inside them that has been buried under all of the junk from their childhood. Counseling helps you learn to love yourself. Once you know how to do this, your relationships with others will be more satisfying for you and them.
Medication won’t bring this understanding to you. Medication will help you through the rough times while you are learning. This author believes medication for depression is a blessing and necessary for persons who can’t get out of their funk and on with life. Medication, if required, and counseling are the “magic pills” — the perfect treatment option.
Many people think and feel that going to counseling or therapy is a sign of weakness. There is an underlying sense or taboo in our culture surrounding mental health issues in general. People seem to think they ought to be able to control their sadness, anxiety, compulsions. If they just get more exercise, take more health food supplements, pray more, or get more organized, they will be able to beat or control their problem. Maybe so, in some cases, but in general we are just kidding ourselves thinking we can control our demons.
If your depression is situational, only related to the divorce or loss, maybe medication will be enough to get you through to the other side. If you are suffering depression from your loss and you have low self-esteem and had a difficult childhood, you definitely will do best coupling medication and counseling. You need to get to the root of your depression so you can throw away all of the old rotten beliefs about yourself and fill in the holes with accurate positive information about yourself. Counseling is the most effective way to do this.
There’s no question that childhood neglect and abuse impact divorce recovery, so you should consider counseling as crucial as getting legal or financial advice to navigate your divorce successfully.
Adam Smith has been writing professionally for 15 years, seven of which have been full-time freelance. His specialties are search engine optimization consulting, social network marketing, and all types of writing and editing.