Well, here we are in 2020. Time sure does fly. I remember projecting ahead to the year 2020 way back in the early 2000s, wondering what I’d be doing, where I’d be working, and whether or not I would be well known as a novelist.
Alas, I’m still an obscure writer at best—but I haven’t given up on the dream of being a successful writer of fiction. One thing I never did predict, however, was that I’d be divorced.
No one goes into a marriage anticipating divorce. Duh. That sort of thing happens to other people—not you! Still, here I am… divorced for nearly four years! I didn’t get my walking papers at the start of a new year, but it was just a few weeks before my birthday, so I can relate to dealing with a crappy “holiday.”
So, if you’ve just gone through a divorce of your own, you might not be too excited about the new year. You might feel as if the universe just handed you a giant pile of dog-poo in a huge paper bag.
I know I did. But, dear reader, things will get better. It’s just gonna take some time. Instead of resisting the change in your life (which is impossible), embrace it.
Here are five ideas to keep you sane in the new year while you deal with your recent divorce:
5 Tips and Tricks for Surviving 2020
- Remember your ex. Think long and hard about them. You might have an idealized vision of them, but it’s definitely not accurate. There were plenty of things they did that drove you nuts. So think about those things. Remember how she never put new toilet paper on the dispenser, but just set it on top for you to do later? Remember how he watched hours of football every Sunday when you just wanted to go on a hike? Ughh. Now think about how you’ll never have to deal with it again.
- Think about your freedom. You’re not married anymore! You don’t have to check-in or answer to anyone. Feel like going out to Buffalo Wild Wings with your buddies and drinking four beers? Who’s stopping you? Want to invite your girlfriend over for a dinner party without some grumpy a-hole messing it up? Go for it! You’re in charge.
- Reinvent yourself. Buy some new clothes. Change your hair. Grow a beard. Pierce your ears. Get a tattoo. Get a motorcycle. Maybe your ex had a certain look they expected from you. Guess what? They’re gone and you can do what you want.
- See your friends. Remember how your ex thought Nick was annoying, so you stopped hanging out with him? That was a big mistake. Call him up and make amends.
- Love yourself. It’s a new year—and whether you like it or not, things are different now. But maybe your divorce happened for a good reason. Maybe your ex was holding you back. Maybe 2020 is the year that your wings get bigger than ever and you fly off to new and exciting adventures. Don’t beat yourself up over the end of a relationship. It might seem rough now, but trust me—you will survive. Stay focused and stay positive. The best is yet to come.