Going through a divorce will invariably shake up your life. Relationships with those you’ve known for years will change, your financial situation goes into flux, and it can overall leave you feeling a bit lost and adrift.
While divorce is a big change in your life, it doesn’t have to be an entirely negative experience, as you can use the opportunity to take control of your life and how you want to live it, making improvements and setting yourself up for a happy future.
3 Tips for Improving Your Life After a Divorce
Make Some New Friends
One of the worst parts about a divorce is the strain it puts on the friendships in your life. Some of your friends will feel as though they need to choose between you or your ex-spouse, creating a minefield to navigate through when trying to meet up with friends for even something as simple as dinner. This, however, also affords you the opportunity to redesign your social life and really think about what relationships are worth maintaining.
Many of the friends you’re likely to have made over the course of your relationship are probably mutual friends with your ex, and you made friends with them over the shared interests of you and your ex. After a divorce, you have the ability to make new friends based solely on your own interests, so going out and just doing what makes you happy is a great way to meet new people. While it may have been a while since you’ve flown solo, it is an opportunity to not only make friends but even rediscover some of your old passions.
Meeting new people can seem like a challenge when you’re out of college and there are fewer chances to socialize with a huge variety of people. However, making friends as an adult isn’t nearly as difficult as you might assume if you make socializing a priority in your life. Going out into the world and making yourself available is a fantastic place to start, either by becoming a regular someplace you enjoy, joining or starting a book club or other social group, or even volunteering for a cause that speaks to you. These are all fantastic ways to make new, long-lasting friendships on your own terms.
Focus On Yourself
After your divorce, you’ll find yourself with far more free time than you previously had. The great thing about this is that this newfound free time is yours and yours alone, and you can take advantage of it by working to improve and reinvent yourself. In this period you can really take the time to focus on yourself by not only rediscovering some of your individuality and independence but also branching out and discovering a new side of yourself.
When you’re in the process of reclaiming your life after your divorce, it is important that you first give yourself plenty of time to find some stability. Chances are that you’ll need some time to heal emotionally before you go about setting on a journey of self-improvement, and no one will fault you for taking time away from work or seeking support. After you’ve settled in, you can begin exploring things that excite you and find new hobbies and passions through experimentation with the ultimate goal of regaining your confidence as an individual.
One of the best things about life after a divorce is that you essentially get to start with a clean slate. The eggshells that you used to have to tiptoe around to avoid confrontation are suddenly gone, and you get the chance to really begin exploring yourself again. You once again have the first and last say when it comes to all of the decisions in your life and, with time, you’ll recognize just how freeing that really is.
Give Your House A Makeover
Your home is a huge physical symbol of your old relationship and in order to start moving forward, it is a good idea to cleanse your home after the relationship has ended. The first thing that you should do is clear out any of your ex-spouse’s personal items or any shared items that might hold unwanted memories. Going even further, it is a good idea to at least consider springing for a new mattress so that you don’t feel as though you are mired in the past every time you go to sleep or bring a date home.
This can also be a chance to engage in some pragmatic spring cleaning. You’ll already be sorting through your entire house, after all, so you might as well take the time to really get in there and clean up. Cleaning can be meditative and even work as a symbolic act after the end of an old relationship, too.
You can also take the opportunity to rearrange and redecorate your home to a style that is more suitable for you as an individual. If you’re at a loss as to where to start you can take an interior design quiz to see what styles might fit your newly cleansed home best. Your home should be a place that you not only feel comfortable in but someplace that you look forward to being and when you take the time to make it yours alone you can experience that in full.
Though it might feel like it, divorce is not the end of things. In fact, improving your life after divorce can make for a new beginning where you have the ability to revamp your social circle, focus on what makes you happy, and really turn your life around. It does take work, but it is absolutely worth the effort.