Reinventing your home after divorce is a great way to rediscover your true self and heal from the grief of divorce. Divorces are one of the top three most stressful life events right after the death of a loved one. They require time to grieve and recover from.
Your way of life will change and it’s very likely you will, too. So, how do you get back on track and find happiness again? It’s a process – and it might as well start with reinventing your home after divorce and rediscovering your true self through it.
Here is some advice on how to do it.
The first step to reinventing your home after divorce is reclaiming your bedroom.
Out of all the rooms in your home, your bedroom is probably the place where you shared your most intimate moments. It’s where you dreamt, made love, and spent sleepless nights talking about your innermost secrets and desires. When you decorated it with your ex, you both brought in things you found important and dear. Now it’s exactly those things that torment you. The room is probably full of sweet memories that have been tainted by your marriage’s bitter end.
This is why your bedroom should be the first room you should reinvent to change and adjust to yourself. If you don’t want to spend too much money on new furniture, you can repaint the existing pieces, get new knobs for your drawers, and then simply rearrange the room. Buy new bedding and curtains. Bear in mind at all times that it’s yourself you’re indulging, so anything you buy should be appealing to you and it should make you feel good and happy. Small details like some new wall art, a stylish lamp or some wallpaper that you find charming but your ex wouldn’t have approved of can brighten the place up for you.
Do Some Decluttering After Divorce
Clean spaces usually make us feel better. They can improve our mood as well as our concentration. This is why you’ll be doing yourself a favor by decluttering your home after divorce. Start with things that upset you – things that remind you of the bad periods and bring tears to your eyes every time you see them. Move on to the wedding gifts you never really appreciated and your ex’s clothes in your closet. Of course, you don’t have to dispose of all of it.
There will be things you love but are now simply too painful to look at. Pack those in boxes and put them away somewhere until you heal and until they don’t bother you the way they do now. This process can liberate you and give you a sense of control over your home and your life. It will also allow you to create some additional space for your own belongings and anything new you want to bring into your home.
Create a Warm and Inviting Common Space
One important part of reinventing your home after divorce is having a strong support system. You should surround yourself with friends and family members who only have your best interest in mind. Plus, if you have children, it’s essential that the rooms where you’ll spend most of your time with them – such as the living room, dining room or the kitchen – are cheerful places. Your home should be a place where your kids will feel safe, protected, and loved, and your friends comfortable and welcome – so do what it takes to make it so.
Get a colorful rug and change your drapes to something more translucent so that your room is filled with natural light. Also, whether you’re entertaining your friends or having your kids over for a movie night, investing in one of those amazing sofas you like so much is a great idea. It will give your own personal touch to the room and you won’t have to think about how you snuggled with your ex there whenever you decide to sit down and watch TV.
Decorate Your Home to Reflect Your Personality – Not Your Ex-Spouse’s
After a divorce, emotions run wild and you may feel you’ve lost yourself. However, it’s crucial that you know you’re still there, and that your personality is just waiting to shine again. Therefore, any change you make should be for your own sake and not just to show your partner how great life is without him or her. The key to reinventing your home after divorce is to make your home and everything in it reflect your temperament and your needs. Some good advice is to purchase various lovely decorative items for your home.
From scented candles in every room to cushions and throws for your living room furniture, choose the scents and colors that relax you and bring you joy. The photos on the walls should be of you and your children or friends, the books on the shelves should be your favorite ones, and the plants you place around your home should make you feel serene and peaceful.
Make Colors Work for You
Any visual changes you make in your home can lead to positive emotional changes within you, so let one of them be the color of your walls. Flip through some magazines or download an app on your phone to see what color works best for you. Although you can hire somebody to paint your home, you can actually do most of it yourself with some help from your friends or even your kids. The very process of painting your walls can have a therapeutic effect. Just be bold and forget the boring beige! Opt for hues of yellow, green, blue or even orange to fix your mood and add some color to your living space and your life.
Don’t let your divorce feel like the end of the world. Do something different and make a change to your surroundings which will help you let go of the past. Remember: reinventing your home after divorce can have a profound effect on your mood and your mindset. As impossible as it may seem now, it can turn out to be the beginning of something new and exciting. Just give it time and start making some positive changes to your home and yourself.
Cooper Klein is a bearded dad based in Sydney, Australia. He’s a regular contributor to Futurpreneur, Divine Magazine, SmoothDecorator, and other online magazines. When he’s not working, he’s reading sci-fi books and playing with his kiddos. You can find him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/CooperNKlein.