Getting over divorce is never easy. Your life is turned upside down and your emotions are off the charts. It can be a pain unlike any other that you’ve felt before. While it may seem impossible to believe at first, it will, in fact get better. The process of getting over someone that you thought you would spend your life with is complex and different for each person. There is no set timeline that you should feel like you need to adhere to. Take each day as it comes, and work through it in a way that feels right for you.
Plenty of well-meaning people will likely offer you advice and stories of what they did to move on from a painful time, but what worked for one person won’t necessarily work for you. Use this time to listen to yourself, and proceed at any pace that you need. It’s a lot to deal with, but you are strong enough to handle it, and you will feel good again. Even though a divorce is a deeply personal experience, there are some basic tips to consider that can help you process your pain and get back to feeling like yourself as soon as possible.
Here Are Tips For Getting Over Divorce
Talk to Someone
When something bad happens, it’s useful to find someone to talk to. Call a trusted friend or family member; someone that you feel comfortable being open and honest with, and let it out. Tell them how you are feeling and your concerns and frustrations. Other people often are able to look at your situation more objectively, and can gently offer you advice if and when you ask for it. It is most important to have a shoulder to lean on and someone to offer support and a willing ear.
Talking through your problems with a friend can be a cathartic experience, and offer quite a bit of comfort. However, in some situations you may benefit from seeking the professional help of a therapist. They can guide you through the process and offer suggestions and actionable tips on working through your pain. There are all kinds of therapy options available. A great one to consider for it’s accessibility and convenience is online therapy. Two of the best options offer similar services but you may find that one is a better fit. Here are some quick comparisons between Betterhelp vs Talkspace.
Both of these therapy services offer real help from licensed counselors at an affordable rate. Betterhelp lets you talk to your therapist by text message, online chat or video conference, and by phone. They even have the option of selecting an unlimited plan where you have access to your therapist as many times as you need. Talkspace also offers text, chat, and video, but no phone sessions. They have a set number of sessions available per plan, but they do let you purchase an additional session if you want to.
Practice Kindness and Self-Care
It’s all too easy to beat yourself up and wallow in self pity when you are going through something like a divorce. That’s why it’s so important to remember to be kind and take extra good care of yourself. The end of a marriage does not reflect your value as a person, and you need to remind yourself of this. Take a little more time to indulge in some self-care like long relaxing baths and doing the things that you love. You deserve it.
Give Yourself Time
People are often reminded of how time will heal all, and while you may not want to hear that right after a major life change, it is true. But the amount of time that it takes to feel better is different for everyone. Give yourself whatever time you need to move on. Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to fully feel your emotions. You can’t move past something if you never allow yourself to truly feel it. Bottling everything up will only prevent you from healing sooner. Embrace whatever you are feeling, and then you can let it go and move forward.
Get a New Perspective
Sometimes, what you need to move forward is a new outlook on life. Maybe now is the time to get back into the activities you used to love but didn’t have time for. Or, you can try out a new interest that you never let yourself pursue before. Get out of your comfort zone and experience some fun and exciting adventures. It may be just what you need to shake up your routine and remind yourself that life is enjoyable. Giving yourself something to look forward to is important, and you may even meet some new friends to spend time with that share your interests.
Take the necessary actions to help you heal. A divorce is hard, but you can make it through and come out the other side an even happier and more authentic version of yourself.