When the papers are finally signed and you have a judgment of divorce in your hand, it doesn’t really matter how you got there. Maybe things ended amicably.
Or maybe you knew this was coming for years because your marriage was in turmoil. Whatever the case, going through a divorce can leave you feeling lonely and empty. In reality, you did lose a part of yourself and a part of your past.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t rebuild, reinvent, and revive yourself for a brighter future. Now that you’re single, you can focus your attention on self-care and creating a ‘new you.’
That doesn’t mean you need to change who you are. But if you’re willing to take the best elements of yourself from your past and embrace them, along with the idea of becoming your best future self, you can truly be the person you’ve always wanted to be without anyone holding you back.
It’s okay to fully accept and process what happened. It’s even more okay (and healthy!) to grieve over the loss of your marriage. But once you’ve accepted the reality of it, you can let go and move on to live your best life.
Reinventing Yourself After Divorce
Let’s look at a few positive changes you can make to debut the new you.
Changing Your Look
One of the easiest and quickest ways to start feeling different is to start looking different. Maybe you’ve wanted to change your hair for years but your partner liked it the way it was. Or maybe you never even considered changing your look until now. But making subtle changes can boost your self-confidence (something that often suffers during a divorce) and can motivate you to make a fresh start.
You don’t have to go through any drastic changes. Small differences can actually end up meaning a lot to you. For example, if you wear glasses, you can get yourself a new pair of frames. Frames that are thicker or have a different shape can change the look of your face, so don’t be afraid to try something different, even if it takes a while to get used to them.
Since you’ll be doing a lot of smiling due to your new-found freedom, why not consider brightening up that smile? There are plenty of ways to brighten and whiten your teeth safely, including maintaining a good oral health routine, watching which foods you eat, or even going to your dentist for professional whitening.
If you’ve never been quite happy with the way your teeth look, you might also want to consider braces for a straighter smile. Going through a divorce can be pricey, so you don’t have to worry about breaking the bank by getting braces. Some insurance companies will cover the cost, and there are other financial assistance programs to help you pay for braces when they’re needed.
Changing your wardrobe is another easy way to update your look. Treat yourself to a bit of a shopping spree, or just buy a few new outfits that capture your personality and how you feel. As it turns out, retail therapy can actually be a real thing with therapeutic benefits!
Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone
If you really want to reinvent yourself, you should try to do things that you’re not necessarily used to. That includes things that the ‘old’ version of you may not have considered before. Find your purpose and start living it.
For some people, that might mean new daily routines and habits. Working out, for example, might be something new for you, but it can completely change your life. Exercising every day can lower stress, change the way you look, and boost your energy. Plus, there are so many ways to get moving. Whether you go to the gym, become an avid outdoor runner, or try a new sport that you’ve always been interested in, don’t be afraid to push yourself out of your traditional comfort zone.
You can also go a bit more extreme when it comes to trying something new. Think about something you’ve always been curious about but have never tried. Maybe it’s skydiving. Maybe it’s taking a dance class. Maybe it’s art or pottery. Taking that first step toward a new hobby can give you a sense of purpose and it can make you feel stronger and more confident than you have in years. Plus, when you start getting involved with different things, you’re bound to meet new and interesting people.
Don’t Settle for the Same
Perhaps the most important aspect of reinventing yourself is not going back to who you used to be. That doesn’t mean letting go of the parts of yourself that you have always loved. It means not settling for the same, especially when you step back into the dating world.
It can be hard to learn to love yourself again after a divorce. But it’s crucial to practice self-love on a daily basis. If you don’t, not only will you not be able to move on from the hurt of your divorce, but it’s unlikely that you’ll ever be able to give anyone else the love they deserve either.
Take time to get to know yourself. Who are you really? What’s the best thing about you, and what’s the worst? It might seem silly to ask yourself those questions, but we don’t often sit down and really think about who we are, as people. That’s especially true after a painful event. When you do get to know yourself again, you can be more self-reliant, self-confident, and you can let go of the pain and anger that you may be still holding onto.
Don’t settle for that same pain in your future, whether you choose to remain single or start dating. Reinventing yourself is about more than putting on new clothes or taking up a new hobby. It starts from the inside out, and understanding who you are and who you want to be.