Newly single life, unfortunately, gets a bad rap. Relationship culture often insists that almost everyone would be better off in a relationship, and the fears that surround the idea of flying solo can even keep two people in a relationship long after realizing that it no longer serves them. Relationships, even tumultuous ones, bring to each partner a sense of security and accomplishment. Without the company of a romantic partner, it’s normal to feel lost.
Managing your life after a relationship ends, no matter how long the relationship, is always tough. There are, however, undeniably positive benefits found in life as a single person. While working through some of the tougher emotions, keep your eyes on these perks that are nearly exclusive to singlehood.
8 Things to Look Forward to When You Are Newly Single
1. Financial Flexibility
Even without a shared bank account, romantic relationships are characterized by a sense of mutuality when it comes to divorce finances. Singles experience a level of financial freedom that coupled individuals do not. As a single person, your money is yours to spend how you’d like.
You can book that solo vacation you’ve always wanted to do, add to your growing collection of white sneakers, or build your dream Custom Defender.
2. Emotional Space
Relationships often end on sour terms. If you were one of the lucky ones, your relationship ended in mutual, civil, and respectful discourse. Yet, even the most amicable splits leave in their wake a host of complex emotional experiences. Your newly unpartnered status provides you with the physical and emotional space necessary to deal with the range of feelings, both positive and negative, that follow a separation.
Even in healthy, interdependent relationships, each partner’s individual actions (or inactions) impact the other in varying degrees. Being newly single allows you to examine your individual habits, likes, dislikes, goals, wants, and needs without considering the perspective or the impact it would have on another person. As a newly single person, you have more time and energy to reflect solely on who you are as an individual rather than who you are as one part of a couple.
4. Free Time
With the extra time in your schedule, once previously dedicated to your relationship, you have ample opportunities to explore your own interests and activities. Take advantage of this shift in headspace and pursue hobbies and goals that you’ve always dreamed about. The myriad of emotions may prompt you to need to keep busy. Spend extra time at the gym, start a new volunteer project or rediscover an old hobby. No matter what you choose, fill your time with things that support a healthier, happier and more well-rounded version of yourself.
5. Social Support
All of the energy you directed toward your romantic relationship has to go somewhere. Just as it’s important to invest that energy back into yourself, it’s a good idea to funnel it toward the other meaningful relationships in your life. Start to pencil in quality times with the friends and family who have seen you through the ups and downs of your relationship and beyond. These are the people who will stand by your side through life’s roller coaster. Whether you need to stay in and let it all out or need a distraction via a night out, your platonic relationships, even with your pets, will be a source of much needed connection and reprieve.
6. Personal Growth
In every situation, there is something to learn in the aftermath. Newly single life is the perfect time to really, truly work on yourself without the feedback of another. You can take time to examine your objective desires (areas that may need some improvement) and cultivate a solid sense of self compassion. While being single, you can be truly honest with yourself and find that little push to do better, to be better.
7. Hopeful Prospects
Your last relationship may have been exactly what you needed at the time; however, it might not have served you and your needs long-term. It is painful to feel rejected, lonely, or uncertain about the future. Remember that keeping a positive outlook is crucial to healing. While your last relationship didn’t work out, your next long-term relationship may be fulfilling in ways that you cannot yet anticipate. You have the opportunity to be a lot more choosy and aware of what you want and need from your next relationship as well as what you can do better as a partner, too.
Everyone in a struggling relationship knows you don’t have to be alone to be lonely. There is a large difference between loneliness and solitude, and newly single people are certainly acquainted with both. Still, there is much to be said about really, truly being with yourself. You can spread out on the bed however you’d like, cook food as spicy as you’d like it, or play music as loud as you want at home. Solitude allows you to disengage from the expectations of others. This frees up space and time for everything you want and need. Being single encourages you to become more comfortable with yourself when you have the extra time to spend alone. After all, you’re a great person to spend time with.