I believe we all like a good story – especially the kind of story where someone has experienced some form of adversity but has overcome it to live a happy, meaningful life. This is the kind of story that gives you hope for yourself.
The kind of story that leaves you speechless, in tears, or cheering the main character on because you can relate. Maybe the story is similar to some of what you’ve been through in your own life.
We see and hear these kinds of stories every day – whether it be from a movie, someone we know, social media and/or a book we’ve read. Can you keep the lessons but lose the pain of your divorce? Can you close the book on your own divorce story and move on?
It’s time to move on from your divorce story
I often wondered why many overcome their trauma while others don’t. What is the difference? Why do some stay “stuck” while others get “unstuck”?
For the longest time, I was stuck in my story. The story of being divorced, being a single mom, losing five jobs and even making not so good decisions.
This story was on replay for years! This was the story I was telling myself as well as others. This was the story I allowed myself to stay stuck in. This was the story that I believed shaped my life.
Our life is a book and sometimes we lose control because of what we’ve been through. Sometimes we allow circumstances and things of the past to take over.
We forget that we are the authors and we control how our book of life is written. When I started to think about my story, my chapters were very similar to the previous ones. Nothing had changed much but my age and the year.
What I realized was that I placed limits on how far I could go.
YOU are the Author of Your Life
I realized that I was the author of my own life, but I was ending the book too soon. I had already determined what every future chapter of my life would be like because I was stuck in the story of the past.
I finally recognized that if I wanted my future chapters to be different than before, then I must change the narrative.
I realized that it wasn’t my divorce, losing five jobs or even balancing single motherhood that was the problem. It was how I viewed these situations and the story I kept telling myself.
I allowed what happened to determine my life’s plans for the worse when I should’ve allowed the pain to turn my story into something purposeful.
You may be that individual right now that feels stuck because of your divorce. You had a plan to make it work and stay together but it didn’t. Your story didn’t go as planned, and because of that, you’ve been on autopilot with your life. Well, it is finally time to divorce your story.
The people we admire aren’t memorable because they stayed stuck. We admire them because of their decision to change the narrative. They didn’t allow what took place in their lives to be the end of their story. They picked up the pen and decided to create their new chapter.
Start a New Chapter
You could be in a chapter where you feel stuck right now. Your plan wasn’t to get a divorce, your goal was to stay married. However, we all know hardly anything goes as planned in life.
But what do you do when it doesn’t? You create!
We often forget that we have the power to create a new life. We don’t believe that we can live life by design so we’ll live it by default. We hand over the pen and leave it up to life to write our story. That’s too much power to give away.
I realized that life is a game and it’s important to know how to play it. You must be strategic or life will defeat you. You must move in a way that will bring about change as opposed to making moves that will keep you where you are. Take inventory of the moves you’re making and the story you are telling yourself. Are those moves leading you to a better story or causing you to stay stuck in your story?
Who is someone you admire, and why? I can guarantee you the reason why you admire them is that they can adapt to change and persevere even in the toughest of situations. They got through the storm and came out better than ever. They didn’t hand the pen over to someone to dictate how the rest of their lives will be written.
I want you to imagine who could be looking up to you. Who needs to hear your story so they can get through their hurt? Who needs to know that they can recreate a new life and start a new chapter? Someone needs your story so they can get through theirs.
Divorce Your Story and Move On!
Remember: Don’t allow the story that you’re telling yourself to be your entire book. It’s only a chapter. Divorce your story and move on.