Most divorce experts would agree that further alienating your soon to be former spouse is the last thing you would want during a divorce, but that doesn’t mean that you can be prepared for what your angry ‘ex’ may do.
Divorce can bring out the ugliest traits from anyone, even you. You have to recognize this as a fact. You have to be prepared to handle your emotions to prevent any more bad feelings between you and your ex from developing because that can certainly make your divorce a more complicated and expensive process.
You can do this by choosing to arm yourself with knowledge about how your angry spouse may act so that you can be emotionally and mentally prepared to push through with the divorce process. We’ve compiled a list of the most common ways an angry ex may lash out during a divorce.
Things to Expect From an Angry Ex During Your Divorce
Back Out of Verbal Agreements
Some people will simply agree on something to make it go away in the short term, and so they feel that it is okay for them to not respect any verbal agreements as though it is nothing. As soon as something is agreed upon during your divorce, make sure that it is recorded and that it is properly legally documented. This way, you save yourself from headaches and further heartaches from your ex.
Abuse to Your Children or You
Because of how emotionally charged a divorce is, in severe cases, your spouse may take frustrations out on your children or you. You have to know how to get to safety when this happens and be prepared to get a restraining order if needed be.
Accuse You of Abuse
Some exes will try to make their ex-partners’ life a nightmare by flinging accusations of abuse and other vile things, especially when there is child custody involved. The last thing you will want authorities to see is you getting angry or physically acting out over any accusations like this.
Push for Custody
Some exes will want to push a soon to be former spouse out of their children’s life out of spite. Some will do this to push an ex to settle for less than they are entitled to. To prevent your spouse from using your children as leverage, you can opt to offer 50/50 custody right from the start. This will also benefit your children if agreed to because they’ll have equal time with both parents and you won’t have to put them through the emotional toll of a lengthy legal process.
Stall the Divorce Process
It is inevitable that both sides may have to produce certain documents before a divorce can be finalized. Note that some exes will deliberately refuse to provide paperwork for manipulative reasons or do the opposite and request for things from your side. You have to be sure that your divorce attorney knows what to do in such a case and has no qualms to use the Family Court System to deal with tactics like those described here.
Cutting Your Access to Conjugal Assets
Your soon to be ex-spouse is likely to limit your access to bank accounts, properties and such once you’ve expressed a desire to have a divorce. You can avoid this by having copies of everything before filing for divorce or just knowing what accounts and properties are listed under both your names.
Try to Dig Up Dirt to Be Used Against You
There had been stories of exes who used keyloggers on computers, installed hidden microphones and cameras, and ‘interrogated’ common friends in an attempt to get information to use against their ex-partner. This is quite common and expected but this doesn’t mean that you should get your hands dirty and do the same. Illegally obtained information can hurt more than it can help.
The divorce process is a stressful period in anyone’s life. Acting out in anger during the process is only going to hinder you and help your ex in the long run. If you find yourself in an emotionally charged situation, you need to take a step back and put that negative energy to better use. If you find yourself the victim of an angry ex, your best decision is to rise above it and win the real fight in court, if need be. Divorce is already a tough and grueling event for most people.
Keeping one’s temperament during this process is not only the right thing to do, but it will also work in your favor in the end.