The following is a list of basic rights that should always be present in any relationship, but are missing in a relationship with a narcissist.
What you will get in a relationship with a narcissist, however, is emotional abuse. That’s what narcissists do; they emotionally abuse others to get their needs met.
Victims of emotional abuse are unsure if their experience can be justifiably defined as emotional abuse. Simply put, emotional abuse can be defined as any kind of behavior that is meant to subjugate or control another person by using humiliation, fear, and verbal assaults.
It can be as obvious as constant criticism and verbal abuse or as subtle as manipulation, intimidations, and consistently being impossible to please. It works as a form of brainwashing, tearing away at a person’s levels of self-confidence, self-worth, their trust in their perceptions, and their general sense of self.
It can be done through belittling, constant berating, or intimidation. Sometimes, it can be hidden and disguised as advice, teaching, or guidance.
If you have experienced emotional abuse from a narcissist, it is okay for you to feel like you deserve better. It’s also okay to not know what better is, or what you deserve.
The following list is not only rights you give up in a relationship with a narcissist, but they are also rights you’ll have when in a healthy relationship.
15 Things You’ll Give Up in a Relationship With a Narcissist
1. The right to receive emotional support.
2. The right to make your own choices without fear of judgment or criticism.
3. The right to feel as though your partner has nothing but good intentions towards you.
4. The right to receive encouragement from your partner.
5. The right to not fear rage or any other form of angry outburst from your partner.
6. The right to not fear your partner blaming you or accusing you of things.
7. The right to be called only names that you approve of.
8. The right to have your own views and opinions, even if they differ from your partner’s.
9. The right to be asked to do things instead of ordered by your partner.
10. The right to not fear physical threats or emotional harm from your partner.
11. The right to receive concise answers that deliver clear information on any matter that is of any legitimate concern of yours.
12. The right to feel as though your personal experiences and the things that you feel are real and valid.
13. The right to feel heard by your partner and communicated with on a polite and equal level.
14. The right to resolve any conflicts and receive a genuine apology for jokes that hurt or offend you.
15. The right to feel as though your hobbies, interests, and work are respected.
It is common for those who’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist to have a warped view of what they deserve from a relationship. If you believe you deserve negative treatment, you’re more likely to find yourself in a position where you’ll end up in another emotionally abusive relationship.
The list above should cement, in your mind and heart what you are deserving of in a relationship.
Your road to recovery from narcissistic abuse begins with how you feel about yourself.
Do you believe you are worthy of better treatment?
Do you believe you are worthy of value and respect?
Do you treat yourself kindly and desire the same from others?
If you answered yes to those questions, with the list above and the knowledge that you deserve better, you’re well on your road to recovery.
If those questions tripped you up, if you aren’t in a healthy place as far as self-esteem, I’ve gifted you a list of what you deserve, not only from yourself but a relationship partner. Now, take that list and go get to work on healing your damaged self-esteem.