Having a support system during divorce is imperative in the divorce recovery process. This is because going through a divorce is exhausting – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
On top of that, you also feel alone. Being separated from someone with whom you’ve had a relationship with (especially when you have kids) is never easy. It is a life-altering change and you will absolutely go through turbulent emotions throughout the whole thing.
So, having a good support system during divorce is vital. Your support system could be a divorce coach, or even your friends and family members. The important thing to know is that having supportive people around you will remind you that you are not alone in this difficult journey.
So how do you determine what type of support system during divorce is good for you? And how do you find that support?
What are the benefits of a strong support system during divorce?
Human beings are naturally inclined to connect and belong. When you are alienated from others, you feel rejected and unloved. This feeling of isolation is only exaggerated when you are going through a traumatic experience like divorce. But your fragmented social system can be glued back together when you surround yourself with the right people.
These are some of the reasons why getting the support you need will give you a positive life post-divorce:
- You won’t feel like you are alone in the battle. Divorce is difficult as it is. When you add in the complexities of your personal situation (such as child support), it becomes more challenging. Having a support system during divorce can lighten the load off your back. You will know that there are people to console you during your darkest days, and you know that these people are well-meaning. Just knowing that they are by your side can make a world of difference.
- It will make it easier for you to let go. If you spend most of your time alone, you will entertain a lot of negative thoughts. But if you spend it with other people, such as friends or family, you can take your mind off the situation. By shifting your focus, you will gradually shift your mindset, too. A little distraction can be a good thing so you can overcome the pain of divorce.
- They will give you the motivation to get better. A good support system will inspire you to heal up and emerge a stronger person after your ordeal. A divorce coach, for example, will provide professional support to help you get over your divorce. If you have friends or family members who’ve gone through a divorce, you can also earn wisdom from them. But the most important thing is that you will strive to get better because they believe in you.
- It helps you overcome your grief. It can take a while to deal with grief from divorce. The misconception that anyone can get over divorce quickly is simply not true. With love and encouragement from your loved ones and friends, grief can be replaced with gratitude. Seeing these people in your life will make you realize that you have lost nothing in life.
- It will make you feel loved. The feeling of being loved is the best feeling in the world. The time after a divorce is when you need love the most. Getting that love from your friends and family can lift up your spirit. It will also make you less likely to fall into the trap of a rebound relationship. Since the love that you seek is supplied by your support system, it will give you time to fix yourself. You won’t be rushing into a new relationship to get the validation you need. Most importantly, you will nurture that feeling of self-love because the people around you make you love yourself.
- It is good for your mental health. The support that you get from your friends or family is essential to keep your mental health intact. It is normal to feel guilt, self-doubt, and anger following divorce. But with support and love from people around you, you can let these feelings go. Letting go is not easy, but it will be worthwhile.
How to Find Your Support System During Divorce
Having a good support system during divorce is vital to recovery. But how do you find the support you need?
Spend more time with your trusted family members. Your family is the first one you turn to for moral and emotional support, especially during difficult times. They are also the ones you expect to understand you and your experiences. After all, they have seen it first-hand. Confide in trusted family members only. You may not have a good relationship with everyone in your family. If this is the case, focus on the ones you know will have your best interests in mind.
Hang out with your friends. An old saying goes: “friends are the family you choose.” Next to your family, your friends can provide the best support system during divorce. Your friends want the best for you. They can provide a shoulder to cry on if you feel like crying. They can provide you with advice on what to do in certain situations. They can also inject some positivity into your life by sharing experiences with you.
Find a support group. There are plenty of support groups for people going through a divorce. You can find them online or in your local area. Hearing stories from others and learning about their experiences will help you cope. While every divorce is unique, there are some lessons that can be learned from others’ experiences.
Talk to a professional. The end goal of a support system is to help you get over the pain and grief that a divorce may bring. A professional such as a divorce coach can guide you using their years of experience supporting people who have been through similar experiences. However, it’s important to find a divorce coach who offers effective, scientifically backed methods like those found in Naked Divorce so you don’t end up with long, ineffective, and costly sessions.
You deserve to get the support you need, regardless of what is going on in your life. This is how you can learn to embrace your self-value, which might diminish after a divorce. A good support system during divorce will help shift your mindset. This shift could be what it takes to get your life back on track.
There will be some people who might not understand your situation. They may make you feel alienated. For that reason, it is important to choose your support system during divorce wisely. With the tips above, you have the guideline to determine where to find the support you are looking for.
If you’ve been through a divorce, where did you find your support system? How did it help you overcome the grief and pave the way for healing?
Lilly Parks is a Divorce Angel and part of the dynamic Naked Divorce team. She is committed to helping her clients find the path towards healing and has been providing assistance to those who are going through the difficult trauma of divorce for more than 5 years. https://www.nakeddivorce.com/