I had a lot of pain growin’ up
Now you know why, every night I be pourin’ up
Thinking and drinkin’ too much, now I’m throwin’ up.
My mom and dad split when I was only a kid,
I was wondering if it was something that I did
Started blaming myself, I know I needed some help,
but everyone around me didn’t know how I felt,
so I had to help myself.
And I was only 3,
when my parents started fighting over me,
They didn’t know that it was affecting me psychologically
Now you’ll never see a sober me
Walking around like a cloud hanging over me
Raining down the pain,
And yes it hurts,
seems like every day its gettin’ worse,
livin’ in a curse
I gotta make it out thooooooo, cause I’m tired of feeling remorse
My parents were never married, so they never got a divorce,
but of course
I was forced to walk through the doors of those courts.
A Lonely kid, that was so confused
Feeling like i had to pick sides but I couldn’t choose
Nothing to win and everything to lose
I didn’t know what to do,
I ended up with my mother, I love her,
but the pain continues.
Cause now I got a step dad that wants to fight me,
step mom who doesn’t like me,
Now a lot more anger grows inside me
Trapped in this darkness, no one can enlight me,
this for every kid with separated parents just like me, yeah.
I hope you can relate.
Going with my mom, going with my dad,
I tried to keep calm but everytime it made me mad,
everytime it made me sad,
packing up my bag,
zippin’ up my suitcase
evertime feeling like I’m at a new place; check in.
My life is like an untied shoe lace; disconnected
And I just wanna get lost through space; unaffected.
Cause every night I’m looking up in the sky
Asking god why,
I don’t want to cry but I can’t stop the tears fallin from my eyes
The pain just seems to amplify multiply magnify
It keeps growing,
bottled up anger man its overflowing,
family said I would get over it as time keeps going,
but they ain’t really knowing.
They don’t know what its like,
to constantly hear your parents on the phone at night
Always arguing getting into fights,
but then after telling me its going to be alright
Acting like I didn’t just hear the whole damn fight,
See this isn’t right, this shouldn’t be in a kids sight
Because it messes with their mind,
Some develop aggression,
some develop depression,
Its a sickness
To all you kids just listen,
I know seeing your parents back together is what your missin’
even what you’re still wishing, but listen
Don’t wind up being another statistic.
Keep ya head up, and never give up
That should be your mission
Try to make better decisions.
Because when you have kids of your own
Put yourself in their shoes and
Remember when you were a kid sitting all alone,
And your parents lived at different houses so you never felt at home
hearing your parents fight over child support on the phone
Always keeping you out of your comfort zone
I’m just letting you know
Jayy Crow, in case you didn’t know!
Jayy Crow is a Hip-Hop/Rap R&B/Soul Artist based in Phoenix, AZ. To listen to him perform “Separated Beat”, go to: www.soundcloud.com/jayycrow/jayy-crow-separated-beat-prod-by-allrounda-nicolas-scholtes