A new beginning after divorce is possible with the right outlook. The truth is, divorce can be a positive event in your life that can change you and your family for the better. In fact, there are several ways that divorce can make a positive impact on your life.
It can be the start of a bright new chapter full of uplifting and empowering growth and change. If you are recently divorced and are looking for direction, here are a few of the more positive aspects of divorce that can help get you back on the right track.
A new start after divorce through self-reflection.
Now is an important time to stop and reflect on who you are. The weeks and months following your divorce should be a time for you to rediscover yourself and think about who you are now and where you would like to go. What do you appreciate about yourself and what can you improve on? While it is easy to find yourself in a ‘reactive’ mindset, try to face such challenging questions head-on and develop a ‘proactive’ mindset. Do your best to remain positive, and lose any negative feelings. Take time to reflect on the years you were married, and make fresh decisions with a new set of eyes.
Part of being proactive and starting a new beginning after divorce is by becoming more self-aware. After divorce, you can learn more about yourself than ever before. You no longer have to expend energy maintaining a broken relationship, so you can focus on your own needs. If you have children, you can focus more on them too. Divorce often helps people strengthen their coping skills as well.
During this time of reflection, this self-discovery can give birth to a new lease on life. A whole new life chapter awaits you, so take this time to take care of yourself and work on rebuilding your identity. Finding your self-confidence again and learning to lean on yourself and depend on yourself will help you grow as a person. Often a toxic spousal relationship can leave you feeling insecure and dependent on that person, so it is critical that you establish your independence again. This will also help in future relationships. You no longer have to walk on eggshells or try to be ‘someone else’, so you can feel comfortable in your own skin and love yourself.
Improve Your Relationships with Others
Another perk of divorce is that you can focus all your energy on improving relationships which may have been neglected when you were focused entirely on preserving your marriage. This is your chance to create a healthier household for your children and focus on being a positive influence on them. Divorce is rough on children too, so it is paramount that you focus on creating a healthy, happy environment in which they can thrive. Two happy households are better than one hostile one, and establishing boundaries and maintaining household routines and rules is essential for your kids. Keeping holidays as consistent and stress-free as possible is important for you and your kids as well. You get to nourish the most important relationships in your life, which can bring you closer to your family. If you consider yourself a spiritual person, take this time to seek and discover your spirit, what moves you, and essentially what you find truly meaningful in yourself and others.
It is also important to surround yourself with positive people. Positive, healthy people help you stay accountable and are also a great source of outside perspectives, which you need on a regular basis. Keep these perspectives flowing and welcome them!
Develop Your Mental, Emotional, and Physical Well Being
Now is the time in your life to take care of you. As part of your overall well being, be kind and compassionate to yourself. Don’t judge yourself or think negative thoughts. What is most important is feeling confident again. Now is a good time to consider your physical health as well. A strenuous relationship over time has shown to have deteriorating effects on one’s health, where chronic stress has been proven to cause life-threatening illnesses. A great stress reliever is getting a great workout in. Maybe now is the time to join a gym where you can work on both your physical and emotional health. Hit the gym and keep those endorphins pumping!
Reclaim Your Home
As part of reclaiming your life and your vision for the future, it is now your chance to style your home and pick out your own furniture. Now is the time to indulge in items for your home you always wanted but couldn’t agree on. Take the time and invest in cleaning out anxiety-inducing clutter and any memory provoking items from your house that distract you from moving forward with your life.
One especially important room to focus on your bedroom. It is easy to lose sleep during a divorce due to the anxiety and stress that keeps you up at night. Do your best to create an inviting space conducive for sleep. Invest in a quality mattress, hang black-out curtains and splurge on an essential oil diffuser. It’s not only time to rebuild your life, but your overall well being.
Now is your time to shine. You have the freedom to reclaim your life and start a new beginning after divorce. Take this precious time and pivotal moment in your life to focus on you, who you are, what you feel, and who you want to become. The sky is the limit!
Lisa Smalls is a freelance writer from Raleigh, NC. Having grown up with divorced parents, she is passionate about writing on the topic of the importance of stability in divorced homes.