- Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want; then, when you see what the other person has, you wish you’d ordered that.
- At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
The other replied, “Yes. I married the wrong man.”
- Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished.
- Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s status.
- A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
The father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.”
- Young son: “Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some countries, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?”
Dad: “That happens in most countries, son.”
- Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late.”
- A happy marriage is a matter of give and take. The husband gives and the wife takes. (Genders reversible)
- When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. Affair?
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks, and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks, and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak, and the neighbors listen.
- After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”
- A man inserted a classified ad: “Wife Wanted”. The next day, he received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
- When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car or his wife is new.
- A woman was telling her friend: “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?” the friend asked.
The woman replied, “A multimillionaire.”