Feeling trapped or unfulfilled in your marriage is one of the worst feelings you can have. After all, who expects to go into a marriage expecting to be unhappy?
Feeling disrespected or disconnected from your partner is a miserable way to live, but whether you’ve been married for two years or twenty, deciding to get a divorce is not an easy decision. Common relationship problems occur in even the happiest of marriages, but if your simple disagreements have turned into resentment and contempt, it may be a sign that your marriage is on the rocks.
Has your fairy-tale marriage turned into a toxic relationship? Here are 12 signs your marriage may be over.
Signs Your Marriage May Be Over
1. You Are No Longer Friends
Healthy couples are friends as well as lovers. The emotional intimacy and ability to have fun together outside of romance is what will keep the marriage strong during times when sex isn’t as prevalent in the relationship.
If you and your spouse never hang out together as friends and feel awkward doing things socially, it could mean that your marriage isn’t as strong as it should be.
2. Your Spouse Stresses You Out
Does the thought of being around your partner for the evening fill you with anxiety? Do you find yourself looking for excuses not to hang out or include them in your social plans?
Feeling stress or anxiety at the thought of emotional or physical intimacy with your spouse is a big sign that your marriage is on thin ice.
3. You Don’t Communicate
A lack of communication is one of the biggest signs of an unhappy marriage. Couples who communicate learn how to read each other and resolve conflict respectfully.
On the other hand, a lack of communication between partners can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. When you can’t communicate, arguments stop being about solving a problem and turn into shouting matches and intimacy dies off.
4. There is No Compromise in Your Marriage
Compromising with your spouse means that you meet in the middle to make a situation work. You should look to compromise any time you want to strike a balance in your life.
Without compromise, you will experience common relationship problems because a lack of compromise means you don’t respect the other’s feelings or opinions – and without respect, your marriage is doomed.
5. You’re Already Living Like You’re Single
Spouses who are in love treat each other as partners. They want to spend time together, they consult each other before making big decisions, and they communicate.
If you are living like you are single and acting like you have no responsibility toward your spouse, it’s clear that your marriage needs intervention.
6. Therapy Isn’t Working
Common relationship problems often lead couples to go to counseling, but even the best intentions may leave you and your spouse feeling resentful and frustrated. If you love your spouse but just can’t seem to get along no matter what you do, it may be a sign that your marriage is crashing to a halt.
7. You’re No Longer Intimate
Sex may not be everything, but it is an important part of a healthy relationship. Sex helps you and your partner bond by releasing a chemical called oxytocin in your body. Not only does this promote feelings of love, but it also acts as a natural stress reliever.
If you’ve been married for a while, it’s natural for your sex life to find a more stable rhythm than you had when you were first together. But if you are:
- In a sexless relationship
- Unattracted to your partner
- Rarely find yourselves doing the deed
- Feel repelled by the idea of being intimate together
The, these are glaring signs of an unhappy marriage.
8. You Can Imagine You or Your Spouse in Other Relationships
When you are deeply in love with someone, the very thought of that person being emotionally or physically intimate with someone else might make your stomach turn, but when you’re unhappy in your marriage you can imagine your partner with someone else without even flinching.
Daydreaming about your partner or yourself being with someone new is a clear sign that you are already visualizing a way out of your marriage.
9. You Want Different Things Out of Life
Communication is an important cornerstone of marriage. When couples don’t communicate while they’re dating, they may run into serious problems while they are married. One of the most common relationship problems is disagreeing about future goals.
You may be married, but disagreeing about your lifestyle, where you want to live, or whether or not you want to start a family can mean serious roadblocks ahead.
10. An Affair Is on Your Mind
One of the biggest signs that you want out of your marriage is if you have begun having an affair. Whether it’s a deeply emotional affair or physical cheating, sharing an intimate life with someone outside of your marriage may be a sign that something isn’t right at home.
11. Your Goals Don’t Include Your Spouse
Do you have big plans for the future?
Maybe you want to move somewhere new or change careers, but can’t because of circumstances having to do with your partner. Pursuing such goals even though being with your partner would make them unattainable is a clear sign you no longer want to be married.
12. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore
- Do hobbies that once used to fulfill you now fill you with melancholy?
- Are you distant from your friends and loved ones?
If so, you may be having a personality crisis.
When you first got married you probably had a good idea of who you were or who you wanted to be, but living in an unhappy marriage has stripped you of your personality.
This can leave you feeling lost and maybe a sign that it’s time to end your relationship.
These reasons for divorce may seem like nothing more than common relationship problems, but if you have marked off two or more of the points listed above, your marriage may be in serious trouble.