Feeling trapped or unfulfilled in your marriage is one of the worst feelings you can have. After all, who expects to go into a marriage expecting to be unhappy?
Feeling disrespected or disconnected from your partner is a miserable way to live, but whether you’ve been married for two years or twenty, deciding to get a divorce is not an easy decision. Common relationship problems occur in even the happiest of marriages, but if your simple disagreements have turned into resentment and contempt, it may be a sign that your marriage is on the rocks.
Has your fairy-tale marriage turned into a toxic relationship? Here are 12 signs your marriage may be over.
Signs Your Marriage May Be Over
1. You Are No Longer Friends
Healthy couples are friends as well as lovers. The emotional intimacy and ability to have fun together outside of romance is what will keep the marriage strong during times when sex isn’t as prevalent in the relationship.
If you and your spouse never hang out together as friends and feel awkward doing things socially, it could mean that your marriage isn’t as strong as it should be.
2. Your Spouse Stresses You Out
Does the thought of being around your partner for the evening fill you with anxiety? Do you find yourself looking for excuses not to hang out or include them in your social plans?
Feeling stress or anxiety at the thought of emotional or physical intimacy with your spouse is a big sign that your marriage is on thin ice.
3. You Don’t Communicate
A lack of communication is one of the biggest signs of an unhappy marriage. Couples who communicate learn how to read each other and resolve conflict respectfully.
On the other hand, a lack of communication between partners can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. When you can’t communicate, arguments stop being about solving a problem and turn into shouting matches and intimacy dies off.
4. There is No Compromise in Your Marriage
Compromising with your spouse means that you meet in the middle to make a situation work. You should look to compromise any time you want to strike a balance in your life.
Without compromise, you will experience common relationship problems because a lack of compromise means you don’t respect the other’s feelings or opinions – and without respect, your marriage is doomed.
5. You’re Already Living Like You’re Single
Spouses who are in love treat each other as partners. They want to spend time together, they consult each other before making big decisions, and they communicate.
If you are living like you are single and acting like you have no responsibility toward your spouse, it’s clear that your marriage needs intervention.
6. Therapy Isn’t Working
Common relationship problems often lead couples to go to counseling, but even the best intentions may leave you and your spouse feeling resentful and frustrated. If you love your spouse but just can’t seem to get along no matter what you do, it may be a sign that your marriage is crashing to a halt.
7. You’re No Longer Intimate
Sex may not be everything, but it is an important part of a healthy relationship. Sex helps you and your partner bond by releasing a chemical called oxytocin in your body. Not only does this promote feelings of love, but it also acts as a natural stress reliever.
If you’ve been married for a while, it’s natural for your sex life to find a more stable rhythm than you had when you were first together. But if you are:
- In a sexless relationship
- Unattracted to your partner
- Rarely find yourselves doing the deed
- Feel repelled by the idea of being intimate together
The, these are glaring signs of an unhappy marriage.
8. You Can Imagine You or Your Spouse in Other Relationships
When you are deeply in love with someone, the very thought of that person being emotionally or physically intimate with someone else might make your stomach turn, but when you’re unhappy in your marriage you can imagine your partner with someone else without even flinching.
Daydreaming about your partner or yourself being with someone new is a clear sign that you are already visualizing a way out of your marriage.
9. You Want Different Things Out of Life
Communication is an important cornerstone of marriage. When couples don’t communicate while they’re dating, they may run into serious problems while they are married. One of the most common relationship problems is disagreeing about future goals.
You may be married, but disagreeing about your lifestyle, where you want to live, or whether or not you want to start a family can mean serious roadblocks ahead.
10. An Affair Is on Your Mind
One of the biggest signs that you want out of your marriage is if you have begun having an affair. Whether it’s a deeply emotional affair or physical cheating, sharing an intimate life with someone outside of your marriage may be a sign that something isn’t right at home.
11. Your Goals Don’t Include Your Spouse
Do you have big plans for the future?
Maybe you want to move somewhere new or change careers, but can’t because of circumstances having to do with your partner. Pursuing such goals even though being with your partner would make them unattainable is a clear sign you no longer want to be married.
12. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore
- Do hobbies that once used to fulfill you now fill you with melancholy?
- Are you distant from your friends and loved ones?
If so, you may be having a personality crisis.
When you first got married you probably had a good idea of who you were or who you wanted to be, but living in an unhappy marriage has stripped you of your personality.
This can leave you feeling lost and maybe a sign that it’s time to end your relationship.
These reasons for divorce may seem like nothing more than common relationship problems, but if you have marked off two or more of the points listed above, your marriage may be in serious trouble.
Great article! I feel another major sign is the lack of any arguments. This means that you are so disconnected and non-concerned of the other person that you do not even want to make the other person understand your point.
Thank you for that, I felt it was easier just to roll over.
Well I have 6 of 12. So 50% doesn’t really answer my questions.
Why are you staying. Your soulmate is out there
I can check on every one of them. Its just a coexistence for the sake of kids and due to cultural barriers. My goal is to simply live like a dead soul.
Mine is 12/12 I need to quit
My partner is suffering mental health issues and I find myself emotionally dead inside. I can’t cope with his panic attacks, his anger, his ocd, his vitriol. Where is the lovely man I first met. I am scared to go but equally scared to stay and waste what life I have left
I hear you !!! Me too Iv chosen to leave it’s hard but my house goes up next week time to live again
I’m pretty much in the same situation as you. How did things work.out?
6 out of 12…..to bad divorce is so hard
Here in America today anything goes but does the Bible make room for divorce?
The verse in the Bible “Marrying and given in marriage”talks to what Jesus said he would find when he returns for his bride. It is talking about people who have vowed in marriage and then remarry later.
People think a disagreement is an excuse to divorce and then remarry. Gus saw this would be happening when he was getting close to his return. The institution of marriage would be in shambles
I meant to say God saw this would happen
What if your spouse wants it to work but you can’t take the fighting and yelling anymore
I think it’s good he or she wants to try…
True to all of the above but what’s the next step?
Lol it’s so funny that is sad and true
Studies show that marriage will surely just be a thing of the past with so many avoiding it all together. All the modern day setbacks just ripping it apart.
Sometimes you see the old person you fell in love with but than their mental illness kicks in and it’s not worth staying – not even for the kids.
I couldn’t agree more Jade
I honestly think that’s what I am dealing with. I’m sorry.
Seems I (and he possibly) are experiencing many of these signs. However, I am berated for lengthy periods about how I should act or respond to things. Nor is any physicality addressed. Seriously, as much as I love my husband I know its over.
I know that feeling all too well.
Over a year ago My wife said she was done move into the other bedroom and did not want to talk about it. Just keep saying i need time and space, i stayed away at our simmer home most of the summer. She refused consulting but after talking to a few people and a lawyer (learning she would not get more then half) she reconsidered. After a few cessions she said she would not go back because the therapist was on my side. So I tried again to get her to pick a therapist but she would not. She keep repeating i need time and space so i went on a trip for about 3 months when i returned her best friend told me many things they talked about and how she want to stay married and was ready to get help and move forward. But when i asked if she would like to start looking at counselors she got mad and said i should work on myself and she was still working on me. I dont know what to do here?
hello everyone, good afternoon. how sad it is to know that i feel alone when i am not alone i have my husband but is like he dont care about me, we dont communicate, we’re dont intimate, he says i streesing him out, he gets anoy around me. i want to leave him so that way can be happy. but im doubting my self./
Sounds like she is sensitive to the way you communicate with her. The more time spent apart, the more familiar it will be for her to be without you. Try showing her complete vulnerability. Hope it works out for you.