A divorce undeniably changes the dynamic of a family unit. However, if you and your former partner were unhappy together, a divorce can be an opportunity to create a different but positive family unit for your children.
If you and your former partner have children together, it is essential to take the important steps to re-establish a family dynamic following a divorce.
Working together with your partner and a family lawyer to help your children adjust to the new ‘normal’, is essential in order for your children to understand that while you and your former partner may no longer be together, you will always be connected with your child as a family unit.
Read on to find our simple tips for establishing a healthy family dynamic after divorce.
1. Keep Communication Open
Communication with your former partner and children is essential during and after the divorce process. While it may be difficult to converse with your former partner, it is vital to maintain open communication in order to preserve a healthy family dynamic for your children.
Speaking together with your children about the changes that a divorce will bring, is vital in order to help your family adjust to life post-divorce. Maintaining healthy communication with your former partner can also help when organizing the other practical requirements following a divorce. This may include living and financial arrangements.
If you and your former partner are not yet ready to have discussions together with your children, it is important to still speak positively about the other parent in front of your children. Hearing you speak negatively about your former partner can make your children feel isolated, and that they are no longer part of a family unit. It can also affect your own relationship with your child if they feel that they are unable to speak about the other parent or any activities and stories they have to share while staying with your former partner.
2. Test the Waters
The initial period after a divorce is a good time to test the new family dynamic, in order to find what works and what doesn’t for your family. It is essential to remain honest with your former partner during this period, about what you feel comfortable with occurring.
It is a good idea to test the waters of joining together with your children and former partner in easy and brief ways. This may mean joining together to watch your child compete in an after-school activity. These brief activities together is a good opportunity to gauge where you and your former partner are at emotionally and to adjust accordingly. If you are not ready to join your former partner at events with your children you should not feel guilty. Your children will likely feel tense if any joined events are cold or awkward. It is always better to wait until you are ready to feel happy and relaxed in the presence of your former partner.
3. Stick to the Agreement
Following a divorce, you and your partner have likely settled any living and financial arrangements for your children. It is vital to abide and respect these arrangements as much as possible in order to hold your family together after a divorce. Failing to uphold and respect your end of the agreement, is a sure-fire way to cause tension with your former partner.
It is important to speak openly and honestly with your former partner, if you are unhappy with any of the agreed arrangements, or find that it does not work for you, it. By speaking to your former partner honestly about any concerns you have with the arrangement, you can foster a relationship of co-operation. A co-operative relationship with your former partner is vital in order to maintain a family dynamic with your children.
The initial period after a divorce can be a very emotional time for any family. Many former couples have shown, that it is possible to go through a difficult divorce, and still maintain a happy and positive family unit for your children.
Rebecca Harris is a writer living in Melbourne with expertise in creating witty, insightful and engaging content. Her articles have been published widely and she is a prolific contributor on social media platforms.