I’ve been married for over 20 years to a man I never loved; I only thought he would be a good provider. I was miserable for a long time because he used to have a bad temper and party too much. In the past few years, however, he has completely changed — he is now as kind, mature, and responsible as anyone. In the meantime, I’ve fallen completely in love with another man. I feel terrible about it, as my husband now bends over backwards to please me. How do I tell my husband I want to leave him?
My wife and I have been married for five years. During our marriage, she would always run away from our problems to hang out with her friends from work. She has wanted a divorce for several months, but she hasn’t taken the initiative to do anything about it. She has been staying at her parents’ house and sometimes phones me to talk, but she adamantly refuses to discuss the issues that started our separation, such as our disagreements about money and whether or not to have a child. Should I file the divorce papers myself, or try harder to get our problems out in the open? I’d like to save the marriage if it’s at all possible.
Last year, I fell madly in love with a man I thought was my soulmate. He told me every day how much he loved me and wanted to marry me. Then he started drinking heavily and disappearing for days at a time. I found out he was sleeping with his ex-girlfriend, and I broke up with him. Six months later, he has shown up sober, showering me with roses, presents, and letters. He has offered to marry me tomorrow if I want. I have turned him down, but I always wonder whether I did the right thing — maybe I could have helped him change his ways. What do you think?
My husband committed adultery, and I divorced him last year. I won child custody of our two boys, and we started putting our lives back together. My ex moved in with his drug-addict girlfriend, and we saw very little of him. Then I met a wonderful man whom my boys love as much as I do, and he moved in with us. My ex then used this fact against me in court and now has custody of our kids — and I have to pay him child support, which he uses to pay down his debts and on his girlfriend. How do I get my kids back? This old-fashioned judge has taken kids away from good moms many times before — it’s a man’s world here in the southern US.
At 55 years old, I’m facing my second divorce. I have been married for 20 years to a man ten years my junior. I have been the primary wage earner for the whole marriage, and he has put us into bankruptcy once already. I’m worried that he will declare bankruptcy again and I’ll be left stuck with all the debts that he racked up in “our” names. Do you have any advice?
Dear Financial Mess,