Divorce is a sad, stressful experience for kids. As a parent, you should do everything you can to ensure they’re shielded from feeling the animosity between you and your spouse. Negativity can easily rub off on kids and impact how their entire life pans out.
There is a lot of psychology that goes into explaining the impacts of divorce on a child’s life. Did you know that children can actually cope with divorce and turn out, okay?
It all depends on how you handle the situation. Save your kids from lifelong emotional wounds by following this guide throughout your divorce.
5 Mature Ways to Handle Divorce
1. Understand that it’s much worse for the Kids
Even though divorce is a stressful time for both parties, you need to realize that it’s much worse for the kids. Especially because they don’t understand why this is happening. In the eyes of your kids, you can never do wrong. That is why it can be confusing for them to see you go separate ways.
The kids feel like their world is turning upside down because everything they grew up to know is falling apart. You need to be very tender when talking to the kids about your separation. Even though they might not understand, try to explain the situation anyway.
The breakup of a family is a traumatic experience, and the kids are bound to go through a period of grief and hardship. Making your kids’ wellbeing a priority ensures they have an easier time coping through this transition.
As a parent, you need to reassure the kids that they’re going to be okay. They need to understand that you prioritize them regardless of the situation. Give them a listening ear because they most likely have many questions they need answers to.
2. Hold your Kids’ Hands through this Unfamiliar Experience
It is not every day that kids witness their parents divorcing. You need to hold their hands through this unfamiliar experience. Begin by providing a routine your kids can rely on to remind them that they can still depend on you to provide stability. When the ground is so shaky, kids need at least one thing that remains consistent.
In fact, you’re recommended to maintain the routine that was before the divorce came up. This reassures them that their lives don’t have to change just because you two are divorcing. Providing structure and care allows the kids to forget about the divorce for a moment. The last thing you want is to let the chaos that comes with your divorce affect the lives of the kids.
Even though you two are divorcing, realize that the kids are still yours. Develop a working relationship with your spouse, so the kids don’t have to experience the conflict between you two. After all, they shouldn’t be deprived of one parent’s love just because the two of you can no longer make it work.
3. Make Sure the Kids Feel Loved
If there is a time your kids need to feel your love as a parent, it’s now. Many times, children take the blame for their parent’s separation because the parents did not handle the situation like adults. You need to be able to separate your kids from the divorce completely. It is not the kid’s fault that your marriage is falling apart.
It’s understandable that you’re navigating turbulent emotions at the moment, but don’t lash out on the kids. Watch your words and actions because how you react can leave your kids scarred for life. It is possible to navigate these unsettling times calmly and ensure the kids emerge confident and loved.
What your kids need at this trying time is for both of you to stay involved in their lives. When you don’t communicate with them as much as you used to, they feel like you no longer love them as much. Both of you need to stop fighting in front of the kids and solve your issues in an amicable manner.
When it comes to issues involving the kids, find a way of reaching a middle ground. The last thing you want to do is fight over the kids. This makes them feel like they did wrong and what result is them feeling guilty when they have no part in what is going on between you two.
4. Don’t Express Jealousy when the Kids Spend time with your Spouse
You’re bound to feel jealous when the kids tend to spend more time with your spouse. However, avoid expressing this because it puts the kids in a bad position. All your kids want is to spend time with both of you. The fact that they spend more time with your spouse doesn’t mean they love you any less.
Show your kids support even when they’re not in your company. Feeling upset makes them feel like they should pick a side. Also, ensure you don’t use the kids as your mediator. Communicate directly with each other without involving the kids. You don’t want to drag the kids into something they know nothing about.
5. Speak Kindly about your Spouse
It doesn’t matter who you think is in the wrong, speak kindly about your spouse. If you don’t have any kind words, say nothing. You can easily make kids hate their mother or father because of how you speak about your spouse.
Saying mean and hurtful things about your spouse so that the kids favor you is not fair at all. Try and remember how good of a parent your spouse was before things got bad. They are still the same amazing parent they’ve always been. Allow your spouse to be the parent the kids need at such a tough time.
Divorce is a challenging time for spouses and the kids involved. Partners need to realize that it’s their responsibility to ensure the kids come out of this experience unscratched. You should mind how to speak and act around your kids because they can easily pick up on cues.
Natalie Crawford is a business writer with a heart of gold. She’s a writer at Myhomeworkdone.com and enjoys crafting papers on work-related issues, and understands no employee is lazy. If she is not writing one of those controversial business papers, you can catch Natalie cooking. www.myhomeworkdone.com