Let’s face it: divorce is tough, and your self-esteem after divorce may be shot. The entire process changes just about everything in your life, from your finances to your living arrangements. You might have to re-enter the workforce or change jobs to make ends meet. Or maybe you’ve found yourself living in a new city. Perhaps, for the first time in their lives, you’re no longer living full-time with your children.
But perhaps the most difficult change is the way divorce changes you. In the face of this new reality, it can be hard to recognize yourself. Divorce can make you lose yourself. It can make you feel like you simply don’t know this new person who you’ve become, let alone how to feel.
It doesn’t have to be that way, though. You can find yourself again after divorce. You can rediscover the joy and the confidence you might have thought was gone. Here are some ways to boost your self-esteem after divorce.
Tips on Boosting Your Self-Esteem After Divorce
A Bit of Self-Care
When you’re recovering from a divorce, it can be tempting to bury yourself in work simply for the distraction of having something other than your new reality to think about. Or you might become so fixated on taking care of everyone else, especially if there are little ones in the picture, that you don’t have the time or energy left to take care of yourself.
But don’t fall into the trap of self-neglect. In fact, making a concerted effort to nurture yourself, and to be kind and loving toward yourself, will perhaps never be more important right now. And there’s no better way to start than by taking care of your physical health. Working out several times a week will not only help you to look and feel physically better, but it’s also going to be a tremendous boost to your mood.
That’s especially true if you’re supplementing your fitness regime with healthy foods to nourish your body, strengthen your muscles, improve your stamina, and, in general, get the most out of your workouts.
Mind and Spirit
As important as it is to take care of your body and to develop a fitness routine that gets you looking and feeling great, caring for your mental and emotional health is even more vital. When you’re going through or recovering from a divorce, chances are, your self-esteem has taken a wallop. That’s true even if you were the one to make the decision to end things.
You might find yourself taking on all the burdens of guilt and shame and blame for the demise of the relationship. Or you might fall into the trap of seeing yourself as the eternal victim, which is just going to make you feel bitter, angry, and hopeless.
You deserve better. If you have children, they deserve a better you, too. And that comes from making a concerted effort to change your thinking. Start keeping an affirmation journal that includes stories celebrating you — your uniqueness, your strengths, your triumphs.
Work on practicing gratitude. Seek out wisdom, support, and positivity wherever and whenever you can, from self-help books to videos and podcasts design to help you rediscover the healthy and happy life you deserve.
Above all, when you need help, get it. You can get can get affordable on-demand access to licensed psychiatrists, psychologists, and mental health counselors using electronic technology like telehealth. You can receive the professional support you need, right from the comfort and safety of your own home.
Making Your Nest
As you regain your self-esteem by nurturing your mind, body, and spirit, it’s also crucial that you take care of your physical environment as well. Having a lovely, calming, happy place that you get to go home to at the end of the day is wonderful for your mental well-being. After all, your home is a reflection of you.
When you’re surrounded by things you love, when your home is warm and inviting, you’re telegraphing not only to the world but to yourself that you are worth it. That’s why it’s so important to take the time to turn your physical environment into your happy place. Even as something as simple as a fresh coat of paint in a color you love can be all you need to turn your home into a haven.
Divorce is a difficult transition, but you don’t have to lose yourself or your sense of self-worth in the process. As you’re building your new life, it’s crucial that you make self-care a top priority. From working out regularly to eating a healthy diet, taking care of your body will get you fit and feeling good, and that’s crucial for your self-esteem. But there’s no need to stop there. Focusing on cultivating a positive mindset, seeking support when you need it, and creating a nurturing home environment will ensure you’re not just feeling good in body, but in mind and spirit as well.