Hearing your partner say “I want a divorce” is a devastating moment.
No matter how long you have been together, losing the partnership you thought would last until death do you part can leave you feeling lost and unsure of yourself.
Divorce advice for women commonly touches on the emotional, financial, and exhausting side-effects for good reason. These are just some of the hurdle’s women face after losing their partner to a separation.
The journey is hard, but don’t give up! There is such a thing as life after divorce. The road may be long but with these three tips, you’ll be on your way to reclaiming your life.
3 Effective Ways to Heal Yourself After Divorce
1. Get to Know Yourself
When you get out of a serious relationship, it’s common to feel a loss of self.
After all, you had likely spent years building up a partnership with someone. So much of who you were was wrapped up in your relationship.
Now is the time to remember who you are.
Life after divorce is all about getting to know yourself. What do you like to do? Where would you like to travel? What hobby or interest would you like to pursue?
Much of your married interests were probably based on mutual decisions made by you and your ex. Now that you are single, you can finally do the things you want to do.
Think back to the things that made you happy before you were married and pick up where you left off.
Divorce advice is clear that taking care of your physical health during a breakup is just as important as your mental health. Running or doing yoga can be incredibly therapeutic following a divorce.
Regular exercise helps you maintain your weight, reduce your risk of Type 2 Diabetes and cardiovascular diseases, and can strengthen your bones and muscles.
There are also many mental health benefits to exercising. Running or working out is a time that you take for yourself. You can clear your head while you get fit while working out any aggression that you feel.
Research shows that exercise can help:
This all goes to show that exercise can have a wonderful impact on your mental health following a divorce.
2. Lean on your Support System
After a divorce, it’s tempting to stay hidden from the world. But by shutting out friends and family, you rob yourself of the wonderful gift of support.
Studies show that support from friends and family can significantly lower psychological distress after a trauma.
Lean on your closest friends and utilize the support system you have. These ones will help you through this difficult time and help you feel loved, valued, and supported. Friends can also help you from doing anything you might regret, like calling your ex, stalking their new partner online, or taking your divorce public on social media.
Another one of the best pieces of divorce advice for women is to seek therapy. For some, this may mean seeking divorce counseling or a personal therapist to work through any issues you are feeling.
Therapists are trained professionals who can give educated divorce advice for women. They can help you create a life after divorce and help you work through any emotional trauma you are experiencing.
Outside of an office, many women find journaling to be therapeutic after a divorce. Writing in a journal will help you work through your emotional struggles. Putting your pain down on paper can reduce the pain you are feeling and make it easier to let go.
This is backed up by research done by psychologists Joshua Smyth, Ph.D., of Syracuse University and James Pennebaker, Ph.D., of the University of Texas at Austin. Their research found that journaling can reduce stress and boost immune functions.
3. Grieve Your Relationship
It’s good to keep busy after a breakup. Spending times with friends and family and working on self-love and confidence are all productive ways to distract yourself from the hurt you are feeling. But it’s equally as important to give yourself the proper time to grieve the loss of the relationship.
In retrospect, you may look back on your marriage with a list of reasons why the relationship was doomed. But that doesn’t mean you weren’t happy or that you weren’t in love. You had created a partnership, for better or worse, and losing that isn’t something that you get over in a matter of days or even months.
Don’t push yourself. You may want to get back out with your friends and go to social events within the weeks following your breakup, but that doesn’t mean you are ready to.
Friends and family long to help you during this difficult time. Do not accept offers or social invitations because you feel pressured. Only go out when you are truly ready.
If you’re looking for divorce advice for women, know that having patience is important during your breakup.
Breakups are hard. Nobody is expecting you to perk back up overnight.
Losing a marriage is like losing a loved one in death. You must give yourself the luxury of going through the motions. Cry, put away old photos of you and your ex, eat ice cream and watch sad movies, listen to music. Do the things you need to do in order to start moving on.
Give yourself a grief-timeline to heal yourself after divorce. Take a week or two to get your anger and tears out before getting back to real life. After all, getting over a divorce may take years. You certainly wouldn’t want to let your divorce control your emotions or your ability to live a normal life for that long.
Don’t look at life after divorce as the end, look at it as your new beginning. By getting to know yourself, leaning on your support system, and giving yourself the proper time to grieve the end of your marriage, you’ll put yourself back on the road to healing.