Is it possible to avoid a divorce after an unplanned pregnancy?
Unplanned pregnancies can put a rift in a marriage. Your marriage may be going great and then all of a sudden you find out that you’re pregnant. Unplanned pregnancies can hurt a marriage. If you’re afraid of a divorce after an unplanned pregnancy, there are tips that can help save your marriage and handle it the right way.
Here Are Tips to Avoid a Divorce After An Unplanned Pregnancy
Try to Remain Calm
Remaining calm might be one of the most difficult steps. You’ve just found out you’re pregnant and your first instinct might be to panic. It’s normal to feel unprepared and overwhelmed when you find out that you’re going to have a baby. This is especially true if you and your spouse aren’t ready or weren’t planning to have one.
Still, remain mindful of your emotions and try to stay calm and think about it rationally. You and your partner have options. It’s up to you to approach your spouse and have a difficult conversation, but keep in mind that the conversation will be harder if you aren’t calm.
Be Empathetic When Approaching Your Partner
In any situation with another person, empathy is crucial. When you practice empathy, you can put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. Most married couples know how their spouses feel about children and family planning. With this information, you can help judge how your husband will react. You know him better than anyone else. You know how he’ll take surprise news. Even if this is a difficult and new situation, you can still predict based on past behavior.
In addition to preparation, you can use your empathy to approach your partner. If he’s going to feel overwhelmed or stressed at the news, then you can use those feelings to frame how you tell him. Let him know that you understand that it’s going to be difficult for him to hear and that even if the two of you feel differently that both of your feelings are valid. Try to imagine how you would want someone to approach you about the pregnancy and approach him in that way.
Voice Your Concerns Honestly
Pregnancy is a big deal. Don’t try to sugarcoat it or pretend that you don’t feel one way to save your partner’s feelings. If you’re worried about the pregnancy and how it will affect your lives together, then you need to be open and honest about it. Explain why you’re worried too. The conversation won’t be easy. In marriage, there are going to be tough conversations. It’s up to you and your partner to know how to handle them. The more honest you are, the more respect you are showing your husband.
Listen to Your Partner’s Feelings
In a marriage, communication can be one of the most important components. Couples who cannot communicate may feel frustrated, distrustful, and defensive. While most couples do communicate in some way, not all couples communicate well. When discussing an unplanned pregnancy, the two of you need to be open to communicating with one another.
Communication is a two-way street. While your spouse needs to hear what you have to say, you also need to hear what he has to say. Sometimes, it may be difficult to hear your partner’s opinion. The two of you may not be on the same page. Still, you want to give him the platform to voice his opinions and his fears. Don’t be quick to judge him. The two of you deserve a safe space to explain your feelings and when it’s his turn to speak, you need to allow him to speak.
Try to Come to a Decision Together
This can be one of the most difficult parts of the process. Your marriage depends on you being able to make tough decisions as a team. This doesn’t mean that you have to compromise how you feel or what you believe the right choice is, but at the end of the day, the two of you have to come to terms with the decision. If you plan to keep the baby and raise him or her together, then you may want to create a list of things that are going to change.
Create a list of things that the two of you can look forward to with a child. You want to focus on positivity. This doesn’t mean that you should ignore any potential issues either. Be realistic. List the cons too and see how they weigh out against the positive points. If it turns out that neither of you is ready for a child, that’s okay. You can still give the child a good life with another family. For example if you live in Utah, If it’s important to you, the two of you can look into Utah adoption agencies together.
An unplanned pregnancy can put a massive strain on a marriage. To avoid divorce after an unplanned pregnancy, you need to be willing to talk with your partner, listen to his concerns, and to come to a decision together.