It seems like more and more women are embracing singlehood in their life. I am one of those women.
The antiquated idea of a woman needing a man has gone by the wayside, thank god. But the idea that women should be coupled-up while it’s okay for men to stay bachelors for as long as they wish, is still a whiff you can smell in the air.
“Are you seeing someone? — No? Well, you’ll find someone soon”
That may be true. But it may not be. And I’m okay with that. When it comes to dating since my divorce, I’m not really looking to change my singlehood status at the moment.
Why I Have No Interest in Dating Since my Divorce
Currently, I share room and board with a part-time 3 yr old who hardly pulls her weight around the apartment. Not to say I don’t love having my daughter with me (of course I do), but when she’s with her dad I enjoy the silence. I watch all the crime-based shows I want. I eat something other than leftover chicken nuggets and pretzels. I read in peace!
I can also go meet up with friends when I want. I can go to bed as early or as late as I want (not late. I never go to bed late. I’m always asleep by 10 pm). I only have to clean up after myself and my toddler. And let’s face it, she has enough laundry to do as it is. Why add to it??
I don’t have to share my bed, my remote, or my time with anyone other than my adorably loud part-time boarder and I’m not in any kind of rush to change that right now.
A Synthetic Love
Of course, I am signed up for online dating. Who isn’t, these days? But I’m finding it’s just not for me. I realize in today’s society, online is the way we meet and interact with people, and I’ll be honest, that’s how I met my ex-husband. It’s how my mom met my stepdad. It’s how most people meet now and I have nothing against that.
It’s very impersonal, this online facade of a person you can create in a profile. Sure, it’s a quick and easy way to see right off the bat if someone will be compatible with you in the most general sense of the word. Do they smoke? Do they want kids? Do they support Trump? These type of questions can be deal makers or breakers and a dating profile is a quick way to know if that person has dating potential. I’ll admit, that is handy.
When I meet someone, I want to meet a real-life flesh and bones person. Not a profile with a picture that may or may not be current, or even legit. I want to know what really makes them tick, not just a standard checklist on a profile.
I don’t necessarily expect to run into my ‘one true love’ at the grocery store as you see on TV, but I would like a better story than “we met on Bumble”. Maybe I’ll meet someone at work. Maybe I’ll meet a new friend-of-a-friend. Maybe someone will read this article and get in touch with me and we’ll fall madly in love (I know, I know. That’s also online, but I still say it’s better than Tinder).
A Natural kind of Love
I guess my main thing with online dating, or even dating, in general, is I don’t want to force it. I don’t want that kind of pressure. People sign up on dating sites for the sake of dating (or getting laid, but that’s a whole other topic). I guess I just want to meet someone, hang out with them, get to know them without the pressure of dating and everything else wrapped up in that. I want a natural progressive love, not one concocted with a formula in an online beaker.
I realize this kind of meet-and-greet, relationship, type of love won’t come overnight. But I’m okay with that. No, I haven’t been dating since my divorce. If I happen to meet someone out there in the big wide world, that’s great! Until then, I’m happy with keeping my TV remote to myself.