Divorce can be really stressful, emotionally difficult, and devastating not only for the divorcing couples but also for the children and family involved. That’s why it’s important to keep your kids resilient during divorce.
You’ve already tried your best to save your marriage, you have undergone counseling and sought advice from a few divorce lawyers but to no avail, the only thing left to do is file for a divorce.
As a mother, it is normal for you to worry about your kids and about how your decision to divorce can affect their overall well-being. However, you should not let this stop you from getting out of your unhappy marriage especially if things are getting worse day by day and if you experience emotional, physical, and psychological abuse.
Don’t let your children carry the burden of guilt if you are staying in a relationship only for their sake. Your kids also know that you deserve to enjoy a happy life.
Whether you are thinking about getting a divorce or you have already filed divorce, consider the helpful tips I have outlined below.
4 Tips to Keep Your Children Resilient During Divorce:
Never talk negatively about your child’s father or his family.
As much as possible, do not ruin the image of your ex-spouse and his family because whether you like it or not, he is still your kids’ father and it cannot be changed by having a divorce.
Civil co-parenting is imperative for the sake of your children.
No matter how bad your relationship with your ex-spouse is, do not drag your children into it. You must let your ex-husband do his share as the father of your children by remaining open to civil co-parenting. See it similarly as a “business partnership” relationship, wherein partners get to participate in things related to the business and work together without any emotional attachment.
Do not stop your ex-spouse from communicating with your kids or from doing his duties and responsibilities. As much as possible, make sure that both of you are present during special occasions or events like birthdays, family day at school, or at their graduation ceremony.
If possible, keep your children in the same home, neighborhood, and school.
The news about their parents having a divorce itself is shocking for the kids and it can be really difficult for them to adjust. Don’t let things become more difficult for your kids by changing their environment. They need the support of their friends, peers, and loved ones from their neighborhood and school during this crucial time.
With everyone they cherish around them, it will be easier for them to go through the transition stage. Only decide to transfer to another house or school if you think they have already fully recovered.
Maintain your child’s standard of living.
In most cases, children experience a decline in their standard of living after their parents divorced. Doing everything you can to maintain the standard of living of your children can help make them be more resilient.
Talk to your ex-husband together with divorce lawyers regarding this matter but never let your kids hear your conversation especially when it comes to custody issues, financial matters, and disputes unless they are already in a legal age.
And lastly, be strong and optimistic
Surely, deciding whether or not to get a divorce is a tough decision. However, the challenge does not stop there. Going through the entire process of divorce, recovery, and healing is the most difficult part, not only for you but also for your kids. In times like this, you can’t afford to show your kids how devastated you are as this can only add to their stress and affect them psychologically.
The entire divorce process is such an emotional roller coaster ride. You may think that you are ready for all these challenges but in the middle of the road, you will realize that everything seems to be harder and more complicated. The best you can do is to stay strong and optimistic.
Make your kids your inspiration and always look at the brighter side of each situation. This way, you can eventually get through all the challenges that may come your way so you can become a better mom and person.