Dealing with divorce is never easy. It can negatively affect not only your life but also the lives of your children, family, and the people around you. Divorce can also be emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially draining. But, divorce never means you’ve failed.
Why do married couples choose to get a divorce?
According to statistics, almost 40% of married couples in the United States end up getting a divorce. There are many reasons why couples decide to file a divorce. These include (but are not limited to):
- Infidelity issues
- Lack of intimacy
- Money or financial problems
- Lack of communication
- Conflicting ideas and interests which result in constant arguing
- Unrealistic expectations
- Inequality or mistreatment
- Couples fall out of love
- Emotional, physical, or psychological abuse
Surprisingly, some couples (especially the young ones) chose to separate simply because after a few years of being together they realized that they are not yet ready to handle the complications of married life.
Does getting a divorce mean you’re a failure?
Many couples stay in a bad marriage. Some endure the pain and become martyrs because of the fear of being judged by society as failures.
But, does getting a divorce really mean you’re a failure? Not necessarily. Or I may say, not at all. Getting a divorce does not mean you are a failure. Besides, you are only getting out of your complicated and unhappy marriage, you are not giving up your dreams, passions, career, family, and life. To further answer this question, I have here a few reasons why I don’t consider divorce as a failure.
3 Reasons divorce never means you’re a failure.
Divorce is an opportunity to grow.
In many cases, people who stay in unhappy and suffocating marriages end up becoming depressed, developing health problems and end up living with the daily stress of being in an unhappy marriage.
Why would you stay in darkness if there is a way for you to escape from all the pain you are experiencing and make life better? Getting a divorce can be your stepping stone to a better future.
Take this simple illustration. Let’s say you have been working for a company for many years. You’ve tried your best to excel hoping to get a promotion and higher salary. But after continually proving your worth, you are still at the same level as when you started working at the company. Would you choose to continue to try for that promotion or would you move on to another company where you have better opportunities? The same goes for marriage.
You don’t stay in a bad marriage that is stifling you just because someone else may view you as a failure.
Divorce teaches you moral lessons
Having experienced a rough marriage and divorce you’ll learn valuable insights about yourself and your belief system. These lessons can help you go on with your life, to dream on, to strive for a brighter future, and to become a better version of yourself.
Divorce can make you stronger
You are stronger than you could ever imagine. Divorce will teach you that about yourself. Being able to endure the process of divorce and survive the emotional upheaval makes you a stronger person. It can even make you a better and more effective parent to your children.
If you have already tried your best to save your marriage nothing you did worked you have no reason to feel like a failure if you choose to end your marriage. Don’t buy into the idea that divorce means you’re a failure. Being divorced does not sum up who you are as a person.