By knowing the bad decisions to avoid during and after the holidays, you can avoid the holiday stress that puts a strain on your marriage. Between Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year, you’re crazy busy. And if you’re married, that might mean the holidays take priority over your spouse for two months of the year. It’s easy to fall into that trap. But the last thing you want is for the holidays to sabotage your marriage.
With the tips below, you can let the positive side of the holidays outweigh the negatives.
26 Bad Decisions to Avoid During and After The Holidays
BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS
- Deciding to “think about it all later.” After all, it’s still a week away.
- Randomly inviting people to “come over” during the holidays if you don’t really mean it.
- Overbooking yourself so far as events and parties are concerned.
- Maxing out your credit cards.
- Attending parties without inviting your spouse to also go with you.
- Attending parties alone when your spouse has made it clear that neither of you should go.
- Not attending parties when your spouse really wants you to be there.
- Not paying attention to your spouse when they are with you at a party.
- Drinking too much at parties.
REGARDING GIFT GIVING
- Failing to give your spouse a meaningful gift—no matter how “small” or how “inexpensive.”
- Not realizing that women do not usually like “tool” type gifts like vacuum cleaners, etc. even though men love “tool type gifts.
- Failing to “clear” a gift for your child with your spouse. Is the gift age appropriate? Is it safe?
- Giving better gifts to your manager or secretary than you give to your spouse.
AROUND THE HOME
- Sleeping or watching T.V. while your spouse does all the cleaning and cooking.
- Failing to “engage” with visitors to your home—especially relatives—your relatives and those of your spouse.
- Inviting people over without at least warning your spouse.
- Failing to help with holiday shopping / both for food and for gifts.
- Failing to clean up after yourself.
- Failing to help with the children.
- Separating yourself from everyone to work from home during family times.
- Complaining in front of the children about the other spouse not helping with things.
- Complaining in front of the children about the other spouse’s family.
- Drinking too much when you have guests.
AFTER THE HOLIDAYS
- Failing to help with getting the household back together and organized.
- Complaining to others about faults or conduct of your spouse’s friends or relatives from the holidays.
- Complaining about how much your spouse spent or didn’t spend on the holidays and holiday gifts, etc.
Attorney William L. Geary practices solely family law and is located in Columbus Ohio. He has been practicing for over 40 years and is licensed before the state courts in Ohio, the federal courts in the Southern District for the state of Ohio, and in the U.S. Supreme Court.