The following tips work for anyone, single or married, divorced, male or female, who would like to increase his or her overall attractiveness and become simply irresistible.
1. Let the World Come to You
Mary had a terrible crush on a particular fellow. Her heart just pitter-pattered every time she saw him. In an attempt to win his heart, she invited him to dinner one Friday night. Mary started planning a gourmet five-course menu—apricot brandy liver pâté, vichyssoise, chicken sautéed with shallots, cream, and white wine sauce served on a bed of rice with asparagus, followed by a green salad and then dessert of homemade heart-shaped shortbread cookies and lemon sorbet. She took the day off from work to cook. When he arrived with a bottle of wine, Mary made the mistake of telling him that she had taken the day off from work to prepare. This put undue pressure on the situation. They couldn’t eat a fraction of the food. After dinner, they kissed a bit, but then he decided to leave. They saw each other perhaps two additional times, but Mary was the one trying to get close. He really wasn’t at all interested. At the time, Mary was heartbroken. Now Mary sees that she was throwing herself at him—how unattractive! If she was going to cook dinner, it should have been something incredibly simple and easy like meatloaf and mashed potatoes. She never should have taken the day off to cook. Mary was trying too hard to get him to like her, and that ruined any chance of having a relationship. She was putting too much pressure on too soon. When you are attractive, people come to you naturally and effortlessly. You don’t have to seduce them or try to get them to like you or win them over. It takes work to seduce someone; attraction is natural and effortless.
2. Make Your Home a Sanctuary
Your environment has tremendous impact on your psyche. In fact, it has been said that your environment is a reflection of your mental state. Take a look around you. What does your environment say about you? How would a friend describe your home? Is it warm, cozy, and organized? Or is it cool, aloof, upbeat, or modern? Most important, how do you feel in your own home? Relaxed and peaceful? Is it easy to unwind in your home? Do you feel special, surrounded by things that you thoroughly enjoy? I have a set of bright chintz fl oral pillows that I absolutely love; just looking at them makes me happy. Surround yourself with luxurious items. Make sure that you love every single painting or piece of artwork that you have displayed. For objects that are too good to throw out that you don’t love, put them in a cardboard box in your closet or better yet, give them to friends or charity. (Sometimes it is easier to get rid of stuff if you first store it and realize that you didn’t miss it.)
The objective is to make your home not only clean and organized but also a reflection of who you are. The first place to start is your bedroom. Make this room a haven, a place to retreat and relax. If you have a TV in the bedroom, I’d recommend moving it out to another room; you’ll sleep better.
was worried that he would never find the woman of his dreams. He wanted to get married in the worst way. I put him to work fixing up his house and he tackled the project with gusto. He had always admired his sister’s house because it felt good just hanging around there. I told him there was no reason why he couldn’t create the same peaceful feeling in his own home. He started by getting rid of all the furniture he had never liked—a wobbly table, a worn sofa, a set of bookshelves. Then he repainted the house in bright colors that he loved—a deep blue in the living room and a racy red in the bedroom. Bob put in a new bathroom cabinet, replaced the old radiators, and put in new blinds. About halfway through this project, Bob met a dynamic and successful woman who just couldn’t keep her hands off him. He was amazed. He kept working until he had the house just the way he wanted it.
Now Bob’s complaint was that she wanted more sex than he did. Definitely a new experience for him! While this relationship didn’t last, it gave him a sense of confidence that he was attractive and could attract intelligent and exciting women. Set up your home so that it gives you energy. Take the time to make your home a sanctuary and it will restore and refresh you every day.
3. Keep a Gratitude List
One way to attract more of what you want in life is to be grateful for what you already have, even if it is not enough. We spend so much of our time and energy focusing on what we don’t have that we often neglect to appreciate what we do have.
To remind yourself of all the wonderful things you have, at the end of each day take a few minutes to write down everything that you are grateful for. It could be your health or a beautiful sunrise or a cup of hot cocoa. No matter how rough a day, there is always something or someone to be grateful for—a partner to come home to who will listen to you, a dog that adores you, a warm bed to sleep in, or just that you survived that day with your limbs intact.
What is the attraction principle here? What you focus on expands. If you focus on what you don’t have, you will attract even less. If you focus on what you do have, you will attract even more. If you are too needy or desperate, you will end up repelling the very thing you want to attract. When you are grateful for what you have, even when it is not enough, you’ll attract more.
Here is a great end-of-the-year gratitude and wish ritual that you can do right now and then repeat on your birthday or at the end of the calendar year. First, make a list of all your accomplishments over the past year—the top fifty things that you accomplished or ways that you grew as a human being. The process of thinking back over the year will help you realize just how much you have done. Then on New Year’s Day or on your birthday, light a candle and read aloud each of your accomplishments, taking the time to appreciate each one of them and be grateful. When you are grateful for what you already have, the universe will reward you with even more. What do you have to be grateful for?
Then write a wish list—a list of all the things you wished would happen or that you could have. Think fairy godmother sort of stuff that you have no idea how it can happen but want anyway. Most people find they end up attracting almost all of the things on the list by the end of the year without really thinking about it again. Make your gratitude list and then your wish list and tuck it away in a drawer. When you come back to look at in six months or a year, you’ll be amazed at how much has come true.
This article has been edited and excerpted from The Secret Law of Attractionwith permission by McGraw Hill Publications, Inc. The Secret Law of Attraction, copyright © 2008, Talane Miedaner, the owner and founder of Talane Coaching Company, has gained international prominence as a life coach by guiding hundreds of clients to find wealth, success, and happiness.
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