Question: Why is divorce so expensive?
Answer: Because it’s worth it.
Q: Why do divorced men get married again?
A: Bad memory.
Q. What is the definition of divorce?
A. The screwing you get for the screwing you got.
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. “Look, Miss,” said the foreman, “have you any actual experience in picking lemons?”
“Well, as a matter if fact, yes!” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times.”
A ninety-year-old couple decide to get a divorce. They go to the judge and say, “Judge, we want a divorce.”
The judge says, “You’ve been married 70 years and now you want to get a divorce? Why did you wait so long?”
The couple say in unison, “Well, we wanted to wait until the kids were dead.”
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
The other replied, “Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”