Through my journey of divorce, I have learned about attitude and how much it affects your life. Many people I interviewed for my book helped me along my journey. Afterward, I was able to put them in one of two groups. “The Bitters” were people who chose not to learn from their experience and were caught up in the blame game. They seemed to make a choice to stay with their anger and let it consume them. Their perspective on their life and future was filled with negative energy, and they were just miserable characters.
On the other hand, “The Sweets” made a conscious choice to learn from their mistakes and move forward into a new chapter of their lives with a good attitude. They pulled their switch to the “on” mode and viewed their new life with a fresh perspective and energy that helped create their new happiness. When asked what went wrong with their marriage they didn’t bad-mouth their ex and they took responsibility for their part of the breakup. It was a pleasure to talk to these people. I found myself attracted to their energy and optimism compared to the negativity of The Bitters, whose company just brought me down. The Bitters would complain about how they couldn’t meet anyone and how most of their friends disappeared. After interviewing them, it wasn’t hard to understand why they were so alone.
As a student of chiropractic, there was a philosophy I came to know and embrace in my life called the law of universal intelligence. Part of the philosophy was that the more positive energy you put out into the universe, the more positive things will come into your life. Everyone has had a taste of this, some more than others. The best way to describe it is when you feel like you are “in the zone.” Maybe it’s like a game of tennis when every play you make is incredible and you feel like you can’t lose. Or you might remember being out with friends on a Saturday night at a party and everyone wanted to meet you. It’s this euphoric feeling that makes you feel golden, and it comes from a place inside that projects this positive energy like a burst of sunshine. Figure out a way to harness your own sunshine.
For some suggestions on improving your self esteem and attitude, visit Amy Botwinick, author of Congratulations on Your Divorce, at her web site TodaysDivorcedWoman.com