I would suggest that, should he make the decision to give the relationship a second try, you consider exploring what caused him to feel the need to leave. There are ways to encourage better/stronger communication between you two, and it may be that he felt he was unable to share his feelings with you. It may also be that he has taken an easy way out of a tough situation. This is a difficult situation to solve in this format as I imagine there is much more going on here than what is on paper. That being said, you need to take care of yourself and your son, and consider how long youre willing to wait for him to make up his mind. I would suggest talking with someone about this issue to help you sort your next steps, and also to help you begin to heal. With your heart and feelings on the line, reaching out for some professional help is a very good idea. Good luck to you.
Before he left, he sent me back home to get some control over my disorder. If I did, he said that I could return. His reason for a divorce is because he wants to be alone with only his problems. He says that he still cares for me and that we can be friends. I have mentioned a trial separation, but he refuses that choice. The military blamed him for my illness and I think that is why he doesn’t want me as a responsibility. We are presently talking and e-mailing each other, but he won’t tell me if there might be another chance for us. He says that he won’t say that there won’t be a future for us, but he does want his time right now by himself. I think that somewhere inside of him he still loves me, but he is afraid. I signed the divorce papers because if I didn’t I would lose him as a friend, or hinder the possibility of getting back together in the future. Can you give me some sound advice on how I may recapture my husband’s affection?
Right now, to help show him your willingness to heal, I would recommend giving him some space. You both need some distance to get back on track. It may take a year or so, but you need to take the time to work through your condition and reestablish your life goals. Keep in contact with him, and let him know honestly how you are doing. If you need additional support while youre going through this, I would suggest that you contact a life coach or therapist who can help you take care of your own needs while respecting your husbands space and distance. If you can leave your fears, hurt, and pain in the past and move on to being the person you were meant to be — and if he is meant to be with you — your reconnection will happen. Best of luck to you.
Do yourself a favor: give yourself the gift of time, away from her and other relationships. If you rush into someone else’s arms in order to forget about her, you won’t have taken the time you need to heal. This can be a challenge when the impulse to reach out to other women for comfort hits you — youre not alone here, and I would recommend talking with a coach to help work out your feelings. The last thing you want to do now is set yourself up to create rebound relationships, and right now youre vulnerable to this. While its essential to use caution when connecting with your wife, its also critical to heal your wounds, so you dont take these feelings to your next relationship. Your feelings are on the line here, and you need to know that if you jump back into your wife’s bed, you’re setting yourself up to get hurt. Trust me: until you have worked on what has caused your rift, stay on the couch.
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