Marriage is the union of two adults, two people who start a life together and have a family. But often it happens that people end up in marriages that are not as happy as they seem to be.
At the surface level, you and your partner may be doing well and do not seem to show any red flags. But when you look deeper into the relationship, you may see that both of you are struggling.
Although you may not be able to pinpoint the exact moment when you fell out of love, you will know that something is wrong when you do not enjoy their company anymore. So when is it the right time to pull the plug on marriage?
There can be several contributing factors that could lead to divorce. If you are someone who has considered this before, you have to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship you share currently. Is divorce the answer?
The end of any relationship or marriage boils down to a few fundamental factors. We are likely to ignore the problems and seldom find a healthy way of dealing with our issues. Whether you have spent a long time overlooking the flaws your partner has, or if the spark is no longer present between the two of you, it may be time for a divorce.
Here Are 7 Things to Consider Before You Pull the Plug on Marriage
1. Hire the Right Lawyer
When it comes to family lawyers, you have to ensure that you invest in the best. Your marriage is a touchy and personal matter, so you will want to work with someone who understands your situation. The right lawyer will go out of their way to resolve any conflicts and address all issues upfront. Once they have been told about your marriage and understood the problems you are facing, they will recommend the final steps.
Whether you decide to stay together or get a divorce will ultimately depend on how you want to proceed with your life and if your partner is on the same page. Your attorney should know how to settle the matter at hand while simultaneously fighting for your rights.
2. Figure out Your Finances
Some of the most significant decisions one makes before an official divorce are in regard to finances. You need to have a clear idea of where you and your partner stand from a financial aspect and how the separation will distribute your assets. There needs to be an equitable settlement between the two of you so, during negotiations, you cannot be blindsided by your bank statements.
Take the time out to determine your expenses, debts, assets, inheritances, and pension plans that contribute to your marriage. Allow your attorney to split them equitably and have full copies of your credit reports to ensure that no debts are overdue on your end.
3. Understand where You Stand in Custodial Matters
If you have children, then the divorce process will get a lot trickier. The situation of their custody will be one of the first things you are concerned about before you file the papers. In general circumstances, you and your spouse should be able to have joint custody of your children.
Therefore, it is an excellent plan to sit down with your partner and discuss the future of your children together before making any hasty decisions. You both have to see where you will live, who works more, and who can give the children more time, while understanding how this will impact the lives of your kids as well. Once you have a healthy discussion about where you stand, you can move forward.
4. Avoid Social Media
In a lot of divorce cases, social media becomes a nuisance and a hindrance. Couples who are parting ways should not vent their lives out on the internet and out themselves in compromising situations. It’s better to deal with your issues in a composed manner and speak with your spouse about divorce. If you decide to use social media as an outlet, it may hurt your image during court proceedings, and act as compelling evidence against you if things are sour between you and your spouse.
5. Staying in or Moving out?
By the time most people are married and have children, they have already moved into their own homes. During divorce, you will have to see which one of you will be staying in the house and who will be moving out. You might decide to stay with your partner even after separation and ease into the divorce in due time. Furthermore, you have to figure out how to split the mortgage payment and distribution of the jointly owned property.
6. Have a Support System
When you are going through a difficult time, it’s always good to have a network of supportive people around you. Not only will you need the support of your friends and family to get through the divorce, but you also need good advice to stay emotionally healthy for your children and yourself.
7. Take the High Road
Once you decide to finalize the documents and go through with the divorce, it is better to avoid having bitter feelings or hostility towards your ex-spouse. Taking the high road means that you stay vigilant and do not behave poorly towards them while keeping yourself at a safe distance. Be aware of your actions and be kind to your ex, especially for the sake of your kids.
The ending of a marriage is never easy, and it does not come without some bitterness and remorse. But, even before you decide to pull the plug on marriage, consider the above tips and go into this new phase of life with a positive outlook. Remember that you shared good moments with your ex-partner.
It is best if you keep the essential things in mind, like your children and their future. Hopefully, with the help of the above guidelines, you can file for divorce on good terms with your spouse.
Monica Albert is a passionate and creative blogger who loves to write on lifestyle and relationships. Her writings are focused on prevailing topics and her long term vision is to empower youth in making their decisions. She loves to gather information and wants to have her own library.