Tell us your divorce story in 200 words. Whether it is happy, sad, or about your recovery process, we want to hear about it. We hope to publish a collection of these stories to support, validate and inspire those who are thinking about or in the process or have completed a divorce. We welcome your submission.
Submit your divorce story here.
Tammy Letherer’s Divorce Story
“Can you come sit at the table?” That’s what my husband of twelve years said on a Tuesday night, just before Christmas, after he had put our three children in bed. He had a piece of paper and two fingers of scotch in front of him. As he read from the list in his hand, his next words shattered my world and destroyed every assumption I’d ever made about love, friendship, and faithfulness.
I had no choice but to begin the dismantling of my marriage. The process encompassed the ordinary and the surreal, including the night I found a silent, smiling Thai monk sitting at my same dining room table. It was this unexpected visitation, this personification of peace, that stuck with me as I listened to my husband reveal hurtful, shocking things―that he never loved me, he didn’t believe in monogamy, and he wanted to “wrap things up” with me in four weeks―and allowed me to find the blessing in my husband’s betrayal. Ultimately, it was when I realized that I am participating in my life, not at its mercy, that I discovered my path to freedom.
Elisas’s Divorce Story
When did you know it was over? That is one of the most common things people have asked me in the nearly 8 years since I got divorced. My answer? When I could look my children in the eye when they would ask me why my husband and I got divorced, and I could say, honest, hand over my heart, that I did everything I could to make it work. And I did. I was convinced that I could make it work, I tried my best, I cried, I pleaded, I threatened, I begged but nothing I said or did could change the impasse, the resentment, the bitterness. And then when he finally moved out, a strange sense of complete peace and serenity accompanied by a sense of panic and terror at the realization that I was on my own, and that everything from now on was to be done on my own. Do I have any regrets? No. None about my marriage, but also not about the decision to divorce. It was a horrible divorce and to a certain extent, it still is, he has never forgiven me for being the one that took the decision. He described our children as me wanting to destroy our family but I think it actually saved our family. Because as cliche as it sounds, it’s better for children to be from a broken home than in a broken home.
Rebecca’s Divorce Story
My divorce was a terrible ordeal that cost me everything. I found myself completely alone as a result of the events leading up to and following the divorce. However, I used these circumstances and the time period to determine what I really wanted my life to be. I realized I had the complete freedom to determine my own fate. I took my divorce story and turned it into a book entitled Tears in a Jar. I learned a lot about the world during my divorce, including a lot about myself. I now understand that divorce is not a failure, and sometimes it is a course correction that can be used to determine how one wants to live. I’ve learned that it can be quite expensive as well, divorce can cost entire communities and way of life. When I left my first marriage, all I had was the clothes on my back…but I managed to build a great life for myself in spite of the challenges. Divorce also brought me a new community, including new family members that found me during and after the divorce. It is strange to think about where I would be in life without divorce.
Heather White’s Divorce Story
A lot of people are shocked when I tell my divorce story. Shocked because there’s no blame or anger over money or time with kids that exists within the fabric of our story. When we made a mutual decision to divorce, my ex and I made a commitment that we would do everything in our power to ensure that the kids and their well-being stayed a priority. Of course, there’s always some amount of emotional trauma that gets stirred up as a result of the process, however we have minimized this as much as humanly possible through spending time together as a family during our weekly dinners, celebrating special occasions together, and showing up together at school and sporting events. We intentionally live nearby each other so the kids can have consistency with their support system of neighborhood friends and easily access forgotten items. All this has resulted in kids who are happy, well adjusted, and emotionally stable. I often get reactions from other divorcees such as “My ex and I could never do what you guys do” and to that I say that the kids didn’t choose this life, and we owe it to them and keep them as our guiding light for whatever decisions we make.
Kim Becking’s Divorce Story
Keeping it real. Because the world needs more of that. Because we all cry. Because some days you just need to cry things out. This is not a Halloween costume. This is not me hiding behind a mask. This is real life. Raw. And Hard. It’s complicated. It’s not always easy. And parenting is really hard. Some things out of your control. So you let go of what you can’t control and focus on what you can. And above all focus on the good. For those of you who feel like crying today, or feel like things are hard, focus on the good. You’ve got this. We all cry. We all have hard days and hard times. No one is “Facebook” perfect. There is pain, there are hard times, there are stories behind the smiles….and the tears. Know that. And feel what you need to feel today. Sending you big love.
I’m ok, so no need to worry. Just one of those days. And I want to be real so you know that you can cry and feel and be vulnerable and raw in this world that can sometimes seem so hard and scary – yes, scary on Halloween. We all have hard times. They just make us appreciate the good even more.
For more inspiring short stories and poems about divorce, click here.