Is there a light at the end of the tunnel after divorce? Divorce is not something most of us plan for. However, it does happen, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to look forward to a lifetime of battling with your ex. Taking control over the ending relationship — the legalities, finances, and your happiness are essential aspects that help foster positivity with your ex.
With that in mind, here are some useful tips to help you through this difficult time and hopefully head towards a better, more positive future:
There is a light at the end of the tunnel after divorce.
Considering that most of us don’t plan for divorce, it can be intimidating getting one. To be fair, while it is a common occurrence according to statistics, most people considering a divorce have never heavily researched the legalities and process of it all. Thankfully, there are plenty of resources online that can help you get started in the right direction.
The first step — filing for divorce — is probably the easiest part of the whole process. The experts at Fiscal Tiger explain: “The [divorce] filing process varies by county, but after you fill out your petition and file it with the court you should get your case number and assigned judge within two weeks. As long as your filing is done correctly, you shouldn’t have any problems moving this process along. Though lawyers make a divorce a little more expensive, it can help to have them when you have to file legal paperwork correctly.”
After filing, your spouse will be served divorce papers (it’s usually not as dramatic as Hollywood makes it out to be). After that, they have about 30 days to respond with a contested or uncontested divorce agreement, and from there, things can get a bit messy as you move toward negotiations, disputes, and custody battles. Just remember: you are not alone, and communication will be key during this time. Communication with your lawyer, ex, family, friends, and therapist can make the whole process easier to swallow.
The Money Talk(s)
Sometimes, dealing with finances in a divorce can be the most painful part of the whole process. Whether it has been one year or 20 years of marriage, separating the money — including all of your debts that you might consider consolidating for easier handling — can be an egregious process and very wearing on your mental health. Still, it’s important to come to a clear-cut separation of your assets and money.
During and after the divorce process, the financial adjustment period can be tricky — particularly with setting your new budget. However, the flipside is you can now include your hobbies (new and old) and prioritize you (and only you) in your spending habits. Remember, this is a new opportunity for you to find yourself and your happiness, meaning your budget can finally reflect that, without feeling selfish or guilty. Of course, adjusting to your new financial situation can take a while, but becoming financially free after your divorce will surely be one of the most liberating moments you’ll experience during this time. Moreover, it can help you move toward a happier place post-divorce as you create a solid break from your ex.
Finding the Light at the End of the Tunnel After Divorce
While the legalities, money, and assets are all important factors to handle during divorce, at the end of the day your health and happiness are of the utmost importance. You might be asking yourself a lot of questions: Why is this happening? How did this happen? What did I do wrong? And perhaps one of the most difficult questions to answer: Will I ever forgive my ex-spouse?
Staying positive is often easier said than done during difficult times in life, but there’s something to be said about the healing powers positivity and hope gives us. Instead of dwelling in the past and wondering where you went wrong, look toward the future and what changes you can make going forward. When you can forgive yourself and begin a new start with happiness and thankfulness you’ll find it easier to move on and begin a more positive life.
At the end of the day, divorce sucks, but sometimes it’s the remedy for what ails you. Fostering positivity with your ex might seem impossible right now, but eventually, you’ll find yourself in a position where you and your happiness are the priority, and when that happens, more opportunities will come knocking. Remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel after divorce. You just have to stay positive and know that you will get through it.