Second marriages can pose more challenges than first marriages, so it’s essential that remarried couples develop a “we’re in this together” mindset.
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Let’s face it, it’s a challenge for parents to create new traditions and devise a plan to survive the holidays. For the recently divorced parent, the holidays can be an emotional, stressful, and perhaps a lonely time of year – especially if they don’t have new traditions and support systems in place.
The holidays don’t have to be a time of sadness and stress overload. Focus on caring for yourself and your children, giving back to those who have supported you, and healing from your divorce. Here are 4 ways to put the “happy” back into “happy holidays.”
Apologizing and granting forgiveness will allow you and your partner to move out of the role of victim and stop letting wounds from the past fester. Remember to give each other the benefit of the doubt and be receptive to learning effective ways to repair hurt feelings.
While often thought of as a negative signal to the other person and a risk factor for divorce, the advantage of a prenuptial agreement is that it can protect a couple with unequal assets or if one person feels insecure about finances.
As a stepparent, you must decide how you will fit into the family. Try your best to understand your stepchild’s perspective, and don’t allow yourself to feel rejected if it isn’t love at first sight.
It’s no longer up to others to help you bounce back from your parents’ divorce. It can no longer be about their attitudes or behavior. It’s time for you to create change in your life and move forward.
Once you accept that you can only control your own behavior – not that of a person with a difficult or high conflict personality – your life will greatly improve.
Many stepparents blame themselves or the relationship itself once disillusionment sets in, rather than reevaluating their unrealistic expectations. When this occurs, partners can play the “blame game” and position themselves against each other, not beside each other.
As humans, we develop coping mechanisms to avoid pain, but sometimes we sabotage our relationships when our immediate reactions to triggers don’t lead to the desired outcome of more loving interactions.