The challenges of remarriage and stepfamily life can chisel away at the closeness of you and your spouse if you forget to make your partner a top priority. This can only truly be communicated through consistency between your actions and words.
Blogger's Bio
Terry Gaspard
I am a licensed therapist, college instructor, and non-fiction author specializing in divorce, remarriage, women’s issues, children, and relationships. I am a regular contributor to The Gottman Institute Blog, Huffington Post Divorce, TheGoodMenProject.com, DivorcedMoms.com, DivorceMagazine.com, and a few other websites.
As a therapist, I am interested in helping people adapt to the challenges they experience related to divorce and remarriage. I became a published writer while attending graduate school in the 1990s, where I began researching the long-term impact of parental divorce and remarriage.
My interest in the lives of women who grew up in divorced families began with my own experience. My passion for this topic grew as my clinical practice included many daughters of divorce and I experienced divorce.
My daughter Tracy and I co-authored Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents' Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship (Sourcebooks, 2016). When I wrote the book, I supplemented my clinical and personal experience by interviewing more than 300 hundred women raised in divorced families.
My initial research study in 1995 included 198 women, and I discovered that the loss of access to both parents was associated with low-self-esteem in daughters of divorce. Following that, I studied a larger, diverse sample of over 300 adults and examined issues such as interpersonal relationships, family climate, and self-esteem. Both studies were published in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage. My other publications focus on parenting and remarriage.
My second book, The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around, was just published by Sounds True (February 2020). Based on my personal experience, over 30 years of clinical practice, knowledge from leading marriage and remarriage researchers, and 100 in-depth interviews of remarried people, this book is a must-read for anyone contemplating remarriage.
Blog posts created by this author
Should You Get a Divorce? 10 Key Questions to Ask Yourself
Is your marriage just so-so, or is it toxic? Are you unsure about whether you ever really loved your partner or are you just going through a difficult time?
How Remarried Couples (and All Couples) Can Stay Together Amidst the Coronavirus Pandemic
Even in the best of times, happiness in a second marriage can be difficult to sustain. However, fostering a safe space where you and your partner (and family members) can turn to each other for support, is key to helping you all weather the storm.
5 Ways to Cope With Emotional Triggers After Remarriage
Learning to identify and cope with your emotional triggers is vital to a healthy second marriage. Recognizing the triggers that provoke extreme responses will lessen the risk of sabotaging your marriage by withdrawing or issuing ultimatums, such as threatening divorce.
The Healing Power of Forgiveness in Remarriage
Remarried couples who practice forgiveness are able to let go of large and small transgressions that occur due to the complexity of their daily lives.
How to Put the “Happy” Back Into the Holidays After Divorce
Truth be told, a divorce can shake your foundation and make you question your own judgment. You might find yourself second-guessing yourself and feeling sad over the holidays if you’re recently divorced or separated from your children, even for a short period of time.
How to Heal Your Relationship With Your Divorced Dad During the Holidays
Often people think they should feel a sense of warmth, togetherness, and gratitude on the holidays. By managing your expectations, keeping your situation in perspective, and choosing not to be victim, you can reclaim your power.
10 Ways to Connect With Your Stepchild
Different from a biological parent, a major thrust of being a stepparent is to be an adult friend to your stepchildren on some level.
What a Rebound Relationship Is and How (and Why) to Avoid Them
The chance of a rebound relationship having long-term potential is slim; you need time to heal from your breakup so that you don’t bring baggage into a new relationship.
6 Tips to Connect With Kids Long Distance After Divorce
To help your kids adjust to your new long-distance relationship, focus on the quality of your contact, reassure them of your love and devotion, and connect with them regularly.
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