Engagement is a big step in one’s life and you have to know how to handle it. The thought of engagement can make you nervous, especially after a divorce.
It might be something you were hoping for but suddenly you’ve become seriously overwhelmed. Everyone has been there for the most part and we all happened to respond differently to what exactly should we do.
Here are 5 Things You Need to Consider Before Getting Engaged Again
1. Is this the right person?
The first thing you need to ask yourself is if your other half is the right person for you. The funny thing about this is that prior to the engagement, you were totally on board. Now that engagement has entered the picture, you might be getting cold feet. It’s normal to be hesitant. Don’t dive into something you are unsure of and can’t find a way out. Really think about your future with this person.
2. Longevity: can this relationship last?
The second thing is that once you are given that an engagement ring, you have to think about the longevity of the relationship. Will you both make it past the two-year itch stage of a new marriage? How long will you be together after the actual engagement? For some reason, too many find themselves engaged, then within months, they are running for the hills. The pressure is too much and people often bail.
All of these questions need to be answered before you accept any kind of proposal or searching around on how to buy an engagement ring. Most people get scared thinking too hard about the future and what it will bring. You have to be in it for the long haul or not at ll. One minute you are excited you are engaged, then it hits you like a brick that you will be with the same person all the time.
3. Money and bills: are you on the same page?
The third big issue that often comes up is money. When it comes to money, happiness can turn to a disaster. Whoever you decided to get engaged to make sure you both are on the same page when it comes to money. Bills can destroy an engagement – and they can certainly destroy a marriage. Is your other half good with handling money or do they constantly rack up bills? Are they good at paying bills on time and how responsible are they? It’s at this time you start getting closer and looking a little bit more into each other’s financial health. We all have bills to pay. There is no sense in marrying someone who ignores bills.
4. Financial health
Financial health is the fourth thing to consider as it can be one of the biggest reasons couples find themselves single again. Try to talk to each other freely about money and see where you fall. Share your income statement, taxes and bills that you need to pay before you get engaged.
You should never accept an engagement when you’re hiding the fact that you’ve got thousands of dollars of debt in credit cards. And what about your new partner: what do you know about their financial health? Further, if you have gotten this far when it comes to getting engaged, you should have already known about the other person’s financial habits. If you can exchange credit reports, you shouldn’t be exchanging vows.
5. Lifestyle and maturity
The fifth issue falls on lifestyle and maturity. How you live your life prior to engagement should be just the same when you do get engaged. Don’t find yourself with someone who suddenly upends their life and is a completely different person. It could be they didn’t party before, but now that they are engaged they are crazy everywhere you go. It is possible you both like to party, but the other has just taken it way too far in the last couple of months.
Both people should have the same lifestyle that each other likes. If there is a sudden change in how you lead your lifestyle, then you may run into problems. Next, maturity can be everything when you get engaged. Maturity can go along way in terms of how you will handle problems in life. Have a heart to heart talk and address all of your questions.
If you are missing the closeness of the early days of your failed marriage, you may be dreaming of getting engaged. That’s all fine and dandy, but you still need to look at reality. Have a good handle on who your partner is and why they are the right person for you. You need to be emotionally locked into the other person – but, since the is the second time around for you, you also need to be smart. Finally, your lifestyle shouldn’t adjust drastically because you are engaged. Face life’s problems head-on with all the maturity you can muster. If your partner is immature, then sit them down and have a serious talk.
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