A divorce is a very difficult time for all involved to go through, but the need and the desire to get a fair deal can often make the whole process much harder. It is often the case that Dads will pull the short straw in divorce proceedings, leading to a more difficult time for them, full of financial and emotional difficulties. As a result, the whole process can leave Dads feeling on their own, stressed-out, and not knowing where to turn. They do need help, regardless of the strong front that they may display. We have created a list of our top tips for Dads experiencing separation and divorce to help to minimize the stress and maximize the chances of reaching a favorable custody arrangement.
1. Employ the Best Possible Lawyer
Although money may restrict you, especially whilst going through the divorce, it is important that you employ the best lawyer that you can. Quality lawyers will be able to provide the right support and guidance to you, as well as being experienced in such types of cases. You should look for a specialist family lawyer who has an understanding and careful approach to the way they work with clients. The best way to find the perfect lawyer for your unique situation may simply be by asking your family and friends for recommendations and for feedback on any dealings they have had in the past.
2. Keep a Record of Everything
Something that often proves beneficial to Dads in divorce proceedings is keeping a record of everything that is said or done, as it can sometimes be used in your favour. Does your wife make threats? Does she have expensive shopping trips? Does she manipulate the children in any way to get at you? These are all questions you should be considering and making notes on so that you have something to go back at her with should she try to slander you in any way that is unfair. This will certainly help to give you an advantage, providing that you do it in the right way.
3. Stay on Your Best Behaviour
One of the most important things that you need to do is to stay on your very best behaviour, especially as anything less than that will almost certainly be used against you. You should refrain from drugs and alcohol as much as possible, not get into any trouble and ensure that you pay your bills on time. By doing all of this, you are showing that you can handle responsibility regardless of your current situation, and as a father in a divorce process, you certainly need this to be visible to everybody.
4. Try to Maintain a Sense of Normality and Consistency
A divorce can turn your whole world upside down, and so it is important for you to try to keep as much normality as you possibly can. The first point would be to ensure that you don’t move out of the family home, as this will keep consistency in your life. However, an upside to staying in the family home is that you stop your partner from getting the upper hand in the divorce proceedings, particularly as she may be seen as essentially having custody.
The second part to this would be to make sure that you keep in constant communication with your children. This is more important when you do move out of the house, but the same applies across the board. You should be sure to spend quality time with your children, and don’t take the divorce out on them by showing anger, frustration, or sadness.
Fletcher Day is a commercial and family law firm based in Mayfair, London. They specialize in complex financial cases within divorce as well as high-value pre and postnuptial agreements and matters relating to civil partnerships.