By Amanda Gray
Divorce is one of the most painful – and stressful – times you’ll ever experience. In terms of the reasons for divorce, communication issues stand at the top of many lists. (In fact, many other reasons cited for divorce are actually symptoms of communication issues rather than the root cause of the relationship breakdown.) Although each divorce is unique, there are some common threads that bind most of them together.
Research reveals the five common igniting factors that lead to a divorce; if you see your marriage below, you may very well be headed for a divorce. Keep reading to learn more.
5 Igniting Factors that Lead to a Divorce
“Too much expectation leads to disappointment” – the quote goes well for couples. It is in human nature that if we are unhappy, we force people around us to make changes that could make us happy again.
This could include blaming, complaining, threatening to even punishing. When one or both partners are coercing each other to perform undesirable activities, it could lead to disaster. It isn’t bad to ask a partner for a change. In case a partner isn’t ready to oblige then you alone are responsible for happiness.
1. Financial Crises or Arguments
A financial crisis alone isn’t a cause for divorce in many cases. Instead, lack of understanding in terms of saving and spending leads to a dispute. Opposite poles attract, but when it comes to finances, opposite perspectives often lead to a divorce.
If one partner thinks about saving for the future, but the other only cares for living in present only, then things can go wrong. Sooner or later, this dispute could reach such heights that it could turn into a divorce.
2. Alcohol and Substance Abuse
Researchers at the University of Missouri and Arizona State University explored whether marriage would affect the drinking rates of participants as they aged from 18 to 40. They found that marriage can cause significant reductions in drinking – even among ;participants with serious drinking problems. Unfortunately, marriage does not always influence heavy drinkers to change their ways, and >excessive alcohol consumption can lead to divorce.
The same holds true for drug abuse: one partner’s addiction can end up destroying their marriage. When there are children involved, a parent may decide to leave their addict spouse for the safety and well-being of the children.
3. Choosing the Wrong Partner/Marrying for the Wrong Reasons
Either one of these can be a perfect recipe for marriage disaster. According to many divorced women, the issue that eventually cause their divorce had been present since the beginning of their relationship. They may stay in the marriage for some time for a variety of reasons: because of their expectations to live happily ever after, or the amount of money they had spent creating the perfect home,fear of what others will think of their “failure” to make their marriage work, etc. In the end, these reasons don’t usually prove strong enough to stay in the marriage indefinitely.
4. Loss of Identity
Among the most overlooked factors for divorce is loss of one’s identity in a relationship. If you have to give up your own interests, hobbies, friends, or even the ability to express yourself in the face of spousal disapproval, then there may be a divorce in your future.
If you start feeling uncomfortable doing things without your partner, forgetting the movies, activities, food, and music that you had once liked, you may need a reality check concerning your relationship from an old friend who still cares about you.
5. Lack of Sex and/or Emotional Intimacy
Marriage involves intimacy – physical and emotional – between two people. If one person is dealing with health issues, grief over the loss of a friend or parent, job loss, or other life challenges, then their partner must work hard not to take it personally if their spouse withdraws for a time.
It could lead to serious troubles, though, if this withdrawal becomes the norm. If one partner constantly feels unnoticed, unappreciated, or unloved, or undesired, that couple could be facing a divorce.
Almost every couple faces marital problems at some point in their lives together. As early as possible in their marriage, spouses should share what will make each one feel respected, appreciated, and heard. Even though it sounds unromantic, they may need to create a schedule to ensure that they nurture their relationship; this could include a regular date night, breakfast in bed for one, and doing the dishes without being asked for the other.
However, factors such as substance abuse, financial incompatibility, and those mentioned above are still likely to torpedo a marriage without counseling and commitment to change the behavior that’s an igniting factor for divorce.
Amanda Gray is a blogger who often writes about the ins and outs of healthcare and lifestyle issues. When she isn’t busy writing, she enjoys traveling and sharing experiences with others.