No one should try to tell you when the right time is to get divorced — especially if there are children involved. Family law is built on the idea of “the best interests of the minor child,” but no one has ever proven that it is better for a child to be living in the war-zone of an unhappy marriage, than with two at-peace parents who are dealing with the reality of their divorce, and have each moved on and have created new lives.
The right time for you might be the wrong time for your spouse and visa versa. Counselling is very important prior to your making your final decision to separate. Counselling should not just be for you and your spouse but for each of the children as well. Also, you must take care not to allow the children to become intermediaries in the conflict between you and your spouse. Make certain that your children’s teachers and guidance counsellors know what is going on at home. They can help to keep the process from emotionally threatening your children’s well-being.
Sharon Smolar has been a member of the Florida Bar since 1992. A designee of the 2002 Women of Distinction Award, she practices at The Law Office of Sharon Wechsler Smolar in Boca Raton.