Yes it can. After participating in many Collaborative Divorce cases, I find that Collaborative Divorce is often the best method for divorcing couples to pursue when one spouse is perceived as “controlling”. If you feel intimidated by a “controlling” wife who seems to always have the last word, or who sees herself as always right, or who appears dominating, you may feel helpless and unable to speak for yourself.
Even if you see your spouse as controlling and believe that she appears to always gain the upper hand in any argument or negotiation, Collaborative Divorce provides many safeguards to level the playing field. In addition to your lawyers, collaboratively trained divorce coaches help you and your wife communicate productively and recognize when your own behavior gets in the way of reaching agreements. Collaboratively trained neutral child specialists help you to craft a parenting plan that is best for your children. And collaboratively trained neutral financial professionals are available to help your sort out the thorny details of family finance, debts, and asset allocations.
For many couples whose marital relationship was tainted by a dominating or controlling spouse, the communication skills they learn through the collaborative process leaves them more empowered after the divorce than before. I have received many thank you notes from former collaborative clients who tell me that their communications with their ex-spouses are much better after their divorces than during their marriages. It is gratifying for me to know that I continue to participate in a process that helps couples divorce without breaking up their families.
About the author of this Illinois Divorce FAQ:
Sandra M Rosenbloom concentrates on Mediation and Collaborative Family Law at her Northfield, IL office.