Unfortunately, emotions run high during a divorce; it is an extremely emotional time for both spouses. Divorce places stress on both of you. Your wife may be feeling extremely vulnerable right now, and may believe that having her day in court will give her back the control she needs. She may also think that the court will vindicate her – and blame or punish you. In either situation, nothing could be further from the truth. While court may be necessary in the future, negotiating a settlement that both of you fashion is the best way to resolve your issues. At the end of the day, you and your spouse need to develop a workable solution to your custody, parenting time, and finances. Her “day in court” provides only one solution: a judge, who does not know either one of you, will determine both of your fates. Discovery can occur without the filing of a Complaint, and you can craft a settlement proposal that your wife can review with her attorney without going to court. At the end of the day, both you and your spouse – not the judge or the attorneys – must live with the settlement; the more issues you can resolve outside court, the better.
Alison C. Leslie, Esq. practices family law exclusively in her Morristown, NJ offices, where she offers her clients the individualized attention of a solo practitioner with the experience of a larger firm. She can be reached at (973) 631-8002. View her website and Divorce Magazine profile.