Plenty of country music’s most memorable and soulful songs trace their roots back to a painful divorce. However, if you’re a fan of country singer/songerwriter Miranda Lambert, don’t expect her to bellow out any soul-bearing, ex-hubby related torch songs – because she refuses to consider the possibility of divorce.
Proclaiming in the February edition of Redbook that she’s a “marriage ninja,” Lambert has made it clear to husband Blake Shelton (and everyone else for that matter) that, for her, “divorce is not an option.”
And to erase even the faintest traces of doubt about her intentions, she added that preserving her marriage is a mission for which she’ll “fight to the death.”
At Divorce Magazine, we admire Lambert’s commitment to doing what it takes to make her marriage work. We also appreciate her efforts to share her views publicly. Indeed, most celebrity marriage news isn’t about marriage at all: it’s about divorce. Role models who encourage individuals and couples to do what they can to make it through some difficult patches in their marriage should be applauded.
However, with that being said, we wholeheartedly disagree with the notion that “divorce is not an option.” Granted, it shouldn’t be the first option – or even the 10th option.
But there are some situations where divorce is, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, “the least worst choice” compared to all other (non) alternatives, which can include situations involving mental or physical abuse, severely incompatible goals or lifestyle choices, or other issues that, unfortunately but ultimately, cannot be resolved by staying together.
Making a marriage work isn’t easy. Any married person will tell you that; and usually with no small degree of pride and satisfaction in their voice.
But sometimes, things simply don’t work out, and divorce IS an option. That’s not a failure – that’s reality. And for many couples, it’s the right — and only — path to travel.
We suspect that in a few years, after Lambert has had a bit more experience in the marital arts (and perhaps some good new material for a hit torch song or two), she may reflect upon her decision to be a “marriage ninja,” and resolve instead to be a mere mortal like the rest of us, who are doing what we can to make marriage work – and resolving to accept, as painful, humiliating and scary as it can be, when it doesn’t. We wish her well.
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