Mother’s Day as a newly single parent is tough. When you wake up with just the kids it can seem very empty at first. Nothing prepares a young mother who moved to a different state and married the man of her dreams to wake up years later celebrating Mother’s Day alone with her young children. This was my situation, and to top it all off, I discovered the man of my dream was a nightmare. The kids did not come with a card, a gift or probably even knowing it was Mothers’ Day weekend. With my immediate family living many states away, I felt so lonely and empty until I took charge.
How I Handled Mother’s Day As a Newly Single Parent
The way I saw it, I had two choices. I could wallow in self-pity and argue with my ex about what a horrible human he was for not even bringing a card for his kids’ Mother on Mother’s Day. As I thought about that option, I decided I would not only ruin our Mother’s Day but probably give my ex the satisfaction he was looking for. I decided from that day forward, I would create my own Mother’s Day and celebrate all holidays with my children in a way that was fun and would instill the values of family I wanted them to grow up with.
Let’s skip to the good part! My children were all of 5 and 7 years old. Concepts were just developing in their cute little minds. I explained to them it was Mother’s Day, and to honor this day, we were going to go to Walmart. Yes, I did just say Walmart. I told them once we get to Walmart, they were to buy a gift for me of their choice. I would not give any input on the gift, but I would pay for it. Their faces lit up with joy! Their excitement and energy filled the room. I felt this was a good start to a great Mother’s Day and I had to be on the right track. They decided to gift me a fishbowl and a goldfish. I would have never thought I would be bringing home a goldfish for my Mother’s Day present. It was perfect! They were so proud of their accomplishment, and I was proud of their creativity. We all enjoyed watching Goldie for months to come.
As the years went on, we made Mother’s Day an adventure. I would set up trips to the museum, horseback riding, hikes, and occasionally the traditional breakfast at a restaurant. As my sons became teenagers, I would hear “Why can’t we be like other families and just have breakfast at home, then let us have the day to ourselves?” I would reply, “Because that not how we celebrate family and that’s not how I want to be honored”.
My kids are grown now and even with everyone’s busy schedule they still find time for Mother’s Day. As for me, I am so thankful to my ex for ignoring Mother’s Day. I got the pleasure of creating my perfect Mother’s Day for years to come.
Kim’s a financial professional with over 15 years’ experience. She holds the designation of RCS-D, developed, and taught by Professor Kelly Lise Murray, J. D. with degrees from Stanford and Harvard Law on the faculty of top 20 Law School (since 2005). Kim’s a trained mediator and a Level 1 Colorado Collaborative Divorce Professional, an organization dedicated to helping those going through a divorce with minimal conflict. www.coloradodivorcesolutions.