A divorce by its nature is not charming. However, is there a way to aim to make it amicable?
The internal experience of divorce usually mimics the experience of the death of a loved one. Although the person is not dead, we have lost them. The problem does not end here, because together with it comes the loss of our home, the security we have had, our finances, the comfort, intimacy, friends, and more.
Basically, we need to recognize that we are going through a process that shares feelings with grief. Dr E. Ross-Kobler who worked for many years with terminally ill patients has identified 5 stages a person may go through while grieving a loss of any kind, and they are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. A normal question to ask is: if in our present experience we go through so many challenging emotions, how is it possible to expect an amicable divorce?
True, but nonetheless, our responsibility is to respect our feelings, but aim to have amicable divorce for the sake of our children and our own well-being!
Therefore, it is important to learn some strategies that would help you to: (a) deal with the loss and pain, (b) find effective pathways to ease the process, and (c) end up with a peaceful outcome.
Here are some useful and practical suggestions:
Aim at implementing the above and you may be surprised how much less straining your divorce process can be!
Dr. Lami is an internationally renowned psychologist with over 18 years of experience helping her clients effectively deal with challenges associated with the process of divorce. Her services include Psychotherapy, Coaching, Evaluation (including Affluenza), Expert witness, Speaking and Consulting. She regularly writes on relationships and has been featured in the media. Visit the firm’s website at drlami.com or universalinsights.net.