I’ve been separated for about a year after a 10-year marriage. It was a messy divorce, and my ex-wife hasn’t spoken to me for a whole year, plus she’s been telling people she’s afraid of me. Recently, she called me up and asked if I wanted to go to parents’ day at our kids’ camp. We drove up together and she was very sweet, saying she wants me to be happy and winking at me a few times. I’m very confused by her behavior, but realize that I still love her. Do you think she’s hinting that she wants to get back together, or should I let go of our marriage once and for all?
My husband left me for a younger woman after 15 years of marriage and three children. At first, we fought bitterly; later, we became friendly and eventually started having regular flings (he is still living with his girlfriend). This has been going on for a couple of years, but now he wants to end our romantic relationship and just be parents. I am so angry — why do I still want this man?
Dear Heartbroken Again,
I have been separated for three years, and am now in the process of getting a divorce. I have been dating a wonderful woman for the past two years, and I want to marry her. Our problem is that she thinks that I will want to start dating other women once I get my divorce, and doesn’t believe me when I say this isn’t the case. I want to give her an engagement ring to prove my intentions, but she won’t accept it until my divorce is final. So we’re stuck in limbo right now, and she is becoming increasingly unhappy with the situation. What should I do?
Dear Loves Her,
My mother is finally leaving my father after more than 40 years of emotional and physical abuse, numerous infidelities, and financial problems (all on my father’s part). He is currently working out of state (he won’t say where) but comes home on weekends for her to do his laundry and cook for him. He hasn’t given her a dime for the last six months, so she’s having trouble making ends meet. She has agreed to come and live with my husband and me but is now having second thoughts about trying to reconcile with my father. Do you have any advice for my mom?
Dear Helping Mom,
On my 18th wedding anniversary, I found out that my husband had been cheating on me for years. After trying to work on our marriage for a year, I decided to leave. He tried to commit suicide; he stalked me; he abused our children. Four years later, my kids and I have put our lives back together. I have started to see a very special man, and my current problem is this: I have trouble trusting him again after my horrible experiences the first time around. I married at 18 and never dated, so I don’t really know how this is supposed to go; all I know is being married. Do you have any advice on how to learn to trust again? And how do I know if he is “the one”?
Dear Starting Over,