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For immediate release – February 9, 2007
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This Valentine’s Day, will it be flowers — or a visit to a divorce lawyer?
Toronto, ON – For most couples, Valentine’s Day is a joyful celebration of love. Not so for couples with troubled marriages, says Dan Couvrette, publisher and CEO of Divorce Magazine and www.divorcemagazine.com. “A holiday like Valentine’s Day underscores what’s missing in these marriages,” he says. “It’s not surprising that February 15 is one of the busiest days in a divorce lawyer’s calendar.”
While researching her book about divorce prevention, Wendy Jaffe, a divorce attorney, author, and Divorce Magazine editorial contributor, interviewed 100 of the top family law experts in the United States. While they often had differing points of view on the causes of divorce, the lawyer all agreed on the importance of identifying the symptoms of divorce — and seeking treatment immediately.
Here are a few of their tips from Jaffe’s book, The Divorce Lawyers’ Guide to Staying Married:
Couples need to sit down with each other, a counselor, or a religious advisor and outline their general thoughts and feelings about whether to have children and how they will be raised with the caveat that things and feelings could change. They need to discuss seemingly simple things like are you going to be mad if I have one night a week with my girlfriends, or if I have a monthly hunting weekend with the guys. It sounds trivial, but these are the kind of things that really cause problems in marriage….
In the marriages that make it, people don’t say, “That isn’t what I bargained for when I got married.” When there is a change in the marriage, for example where the wife goes back to school, or the husband changes careers, the most important thing a spouse can do is be adaptable and support changes in the other spouse.
Be open and honest. If you are unhappy, let your spouse know it. Remember that a good argument is better than no argument at all. If people were open and honest with their spouses, fifty percent of divorces could be avoided.
Give in early and often. If both parties keep giving in they will have a great relationship. Remember that if you leave this mate to find another mate, you still end up with another person who you will also have to compromise with.