Should You Stay Together for the Children’s Sake?
Basically, when it comes to divorce and children, a parent should do what they know to be in their child’s best interest.
There is no easy answer to the question, “should you stay together for the children’s sake?” I do believe that we, as parents owe it to our children to put as much effort as possible into making our marriage work. In other words, no parent should divorce without first putting their child’s need for an intact family before their need for a divorce. Nothing can motivate us to better our situation more than putting another’s needs before our own. It has been my observation that the majority of parents who divorce don’t seek marital therapy before doing so. The relationship goes south and the solution is divorce. A solution that fits their needs but research has shown is difficult for their children. It is for that reason; the negative effects of divorce on children, that I believe parents should be committed to making sure they create a marriage that is nurturing for not only themselves but their children also. Until you’ve done all you possibly can to make sure your marriage can’t be saved, divorce should not be an option.
Reasons to stay together for the children’s sake:
Over the last several decades' research has shown that children benefit tremendously when raised by parents in a healthy marriage. Here are a few of the benefits for children of a healthy, intact family:- They're less likely to divorce as adults,
- They have fewer emotional problems,
- They're less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol,
- They're more likely to attend college than children from divorced parents,
- They're less likely to engage in delinquent behavior as teens,
- They'll make smarter relationship choices and are less likely to become victims of domestic abuse,
- They have better relationships with both parents,
- They're less likely to become sexually active as young teens,
- They're less likely to experience teen pregnancy,
- They experience a more financially secure lifestyle as children.
Reasons NOT to Stay Together for the Children’s Sake:

- You will remove your children from the anxiety produced by their parents' conflict.
- Children need to have warm, loving and supportive relationships with parents. The parent who removes them from an environment that is highly conflicted and violent is showing that child that they are loved and supported.
- A child’s basic needs include feelings of safety and security. Divorcing a violent spouse means you are making sure those basic needs are met.
- Some research suggests that children exposed to domestic abuse suffer developmentally and do not form attachments to parents. There are higher rates of “disorganized attachment” amongst these children.
- Children raised in high conflict can become hyper-vigilant in reaction to perceived conflict or threats. Being around violence and conflict can cause children to become hostile and aggressive in their dealings with others.