7 Reasons to Enjoy Your Divorce
Divorce offers many opportunities – such as learning to nurture yourself, that divorce doesn’t mean you’re a failure, and to find love inside yourself and with others.
Although it may sound absurd that you could possibly enjoy your divorce, in our years of counseling, we have seen the productive opportunities and life enhancements that a healthy divorce mindset can offer. While uncoupling your relationship from someone you have loved and shared life with is never easy, it doesn't have to be the grueling, painful, full-of-strife and emotional mess it usually turns out to be. Yes, big changes are happening, but how you react – and what you choose to do about those changes – is entirely up to you.
7 Valuable Lessons About Life That Your Divorce Can Teach You1. Opening Your Life Up to New Avenues and Possibilities. It's exhilarating to have choices. You are able to do different things you couldn't or wouldn't do before. If you have been waiting to sleep in late, learn a new dance, or make new friends, you can do it now! No more excuses! You can rearrange the furniture the way you like, eat the foods you prefer, and take the vacation you always wanted. You’re learning that life does get better! 2. Stepping Into a New Level of Autonomy. Taking charge of your happiness and doing something ongoing and positive for your own good every day feels self-empowering. Your new life, happiness, and freedom come when you learn to love yourself and build a safe, nurturing home inside yourself to live in. You’re learning how to take your own life back into your hands! 3. No Longer Staying Stuck in a Painful Marriage. Let's face it: if you were feeling distant from each other long before you actually separated, life felt pretty lonely and sad. Regaining your self-confidence and self-trust after an emotional disconnect is imperative. You're learning that you are never stuck! 4. Being a Good Example to Your Children. By being a healthy role model for how to persevere change with grace, your kids can also learn that they can overcome adversity, grow in life, handle change, make new choices and see new results. You’re learning that you can raise healthy children in a single-parent home. 5. Choosing Inner Peace Instead of Conflict. While the events leading up to divorce and its aftermath tend to bring up derision and disagreement, you are choosing to shun inflammatory reactions and remain calm. You understand that inner peace is your responsibility and are not waiting for others to give it to you. Instead, when feeling stressed, combative or reactive, you are learning how to take a step back to breathe, connect inside and ask yourself:
- "What brings me happiness?"
- "What is the kindest, most loving action I can take right now?"
- "How can I take really good care of myself right now?"